The Trouble with Faking (20 page)

“Okay,” I say, holding my hands up as though attempting to calm a wild animal. “I’m sorry. I suppose it’s possible you could have written that letter and never sent it.”

“It isn’t just possible, Andi. THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED. And now, thanks to this whole mess you caused with Noah, you and I have to break up. Just like every other girl I’ve been with, you’ve managed to screw up what could have been perfect.”

“I’ve—Wait a minute. You think every relationship you’ve been in ended because of something the
girl
did wrong?”

“Well,” Damien says, spreading his hands out, “it wasn’t due to anything I did. You said yourself you’ve been there for every girlfriend I’ve had. If I was the reason those relationships ended, why on earth would you want to be with me?”

“I don’t. That’s what I’ve been wanting to tell you since our date on Monday night. We’re not right for each other.”

Damien’s hands clench into fists as he folds them over his chest. “You only think that because you let Noah mess with your head. Both of you were my friends, and you both ended up deceiving me.”

I want to shout at him, tell him to get over his persecution complex, but I decide there’s no point. We’ll simply keep going back and forth, yelling accusations and hurting each other more and more. At this rate, we’ll never be friends again. “I think it’s time for me to go,” I say quietly. “Goodbye and … I’m sorry.”

The Official Mission
:

Get Marie to fall for Damien and Mike to fall for Andi.

Status
: Failed. (I think. I don’t actually know how Marie feels about Damien, but I highly doubt Mike ever fell for me. I’m pretty sure Damien’s the one he was interested in all along …)

Andi’s
Side Mission
:

Get Damien to fall for Andi instead of Marie.

Status
: Aborted.

“Thanks so much for letting me stay here for a bit,” I say as I drag my suitcase through the door into Livi’s flat. “I know you don’t have much space.” I push the suitcase behind the kitchen table where it’ll be out of the way for now and leave my sewing machine on the table.

“Yeah, I’m sorry there’s no guest room,” Livi says, “but the couch is big and
super
comfy. Adam falls asleep on it all the time when he visits.”

“Thank you. And I promise I’ll fold up the blankets and things every day so they’re not in your way.”

“Sure, whatever. Oh, there are some shelves in the bathroom that I never got around to using, so you can keep some stuff there if you want.” She plops onto the couch and crosses her legs. “This is gonna be fun,” she says with a wide smile. “I know the reason you’re here isn’t exactly a positive one, but it’ll still be fun. We can share clothes and watch movies when we should be studying and bake stuff we shouldn’t be eating.”

“You want to share
my
clothes? Really?” Damien’s words run through my head. “You don’t think they’re a little … weird?”

“Well, sure, some of them are. But I’d love to borrow the less weird ones.”

I blink. “Um. I’m still trying to figure out if I should be offended by the word ‘weird.’”

She sighs and rolls her eyes. “Of course you shouldn’t. ‘Weird’ was your word, not mine. I might have gone with ‘funky’ or ‘eccentric.’ Besides, who cares what you call it? You’ve totally pulled off every outfit I’ve ever seen you in, and that’s all that matters. You could probably wear a dress made of pieced-together feather dusters and still look fabulous.”

“You think?” I rub my chin thoughtfully. “I’ve never ventured into feather territory before. Always thought it seemed a bit messy.”

Livi laughs. “You have the kind of confidence I’ve always dreamed of having. You can wear anything.” She reaches for the bowl of popcorn sitting on the coffee table and offers me some. “By the way, I’m guessing you
make
a lot of your clothes, right? That’s why the sewing machine’s here?”

I scoop a handful of popcorn out of the bowl. “Well, it’s mainly for my Etsy products—the scarves and bags and headbands and stuff—but I do make some of my clothes. And almost everything I buy gets altered in some way.” I munch on a mouthful of popcorn, then add, “Oh, I made these pants, actually.” I stand up to show off my pants made from white fabric printed with a pattern of joined newspaper pages. I still remember how excited I was when I found the fabric while hunting for something to make tote bags from.

“You
made
those?” Livi says, her eyes widening in awe.

I sit down and tuck my legs beneath me. “It’s not that hard. Just takes a little bit of practise. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together can figure it out.”

“Yeah, maybe two of your brain cells. You should be a fashion designer, Andi.”

I nod. “I think I should. Neither of my parents thought that was a viable career option, though. They said I had to get a ‘sensible’ degree first, and then I could do whatever I want.”

“Okay, I can see Dad saying that,” Livi says, “but isn’t your mom an interior decorator?”

“Yes.”

“So she dresses up rooms, but she isn’t happy with you dressing up people?”

“Something like that.”

Livi sighs. “Parents.”

“I know.”

She picks up the remote control and presses the play button. The movie that was paused—the latest
Star Trek
—jumps to life. “This is possibly the hundredth time I’m watching this movie,” she says, “so if you want to change it to something else, or if you need to go study in my room, that’s cool.”

With a week and a half left of the quarter, and several tests coming up next week, I probably should be studying. I’d far rather watch
Star Trek
, though. “I’m exactly where I want to be right now. Studying can happen on the weekend.”

We crunch on popcorn, and half a minute later, Livi says, “Oh, I just thought of something.” She turns the volume down on the movie. “Are you going home for the Easter holidays next weekend?”

“No. Mom and I looked at flights, but they’re quite pricey. Budget’s kinda tight this year with my tuition and res fees.”

“Isn’t Dad helping?” Livi says with a frown.

“Um, yes, I think he’s contributing. He and my mom came to some kind of agreement. And I’ve got my Etsy savings to cover living expenses. That doesn’t leave much to buy plane tickets, though.”

“Oh. Well I was asking because I
am
going home, and I thought maybe you’d want to stay here. You’ll have the place to yourself. Cavendish Square is down the road, so you can chill at coffee shops and read, or you can stay here and watch movies all day. Whatever.”

“That actually sounds amazing.” I’d pictured myself hiding inside Fuller during the holidays in an attempt to avoid Damien, who isn’t going home either, but staying at Livi’s is a far better option.

“Great,” Livi says with a smile. We turn back to the movie, but she doesn’t increase the volume yet. “Sooooo,” she says slowly. “Are we ever going to talk about your boy troubles?”

“Boy troubles?” I ask lightly.

She picks up her phone from the coffee table and reads out my last message to her. “‘I broke up with my ex-pretend-boyfriend-now-ex-real-boyfriend. The guy I was PRETENDING to like possibly doesn’t even like girls. And the only guy I still want to spend time with—my ex-pretend-boyfriend-now-ex-real-boyfriend’s ex-best friend—doesn’t ever want to talk to me again. Bottom line? I need to get out of res. PLEASE can I come stay with you!’”

“Ah,” I say. “Those boy troubles.”

I make it through the last week of the quarter without bumping into Damien, Noah or Mike. Damien and Mike I’m relieved about, but part of me wishes I could see Noah. I want to visit more coffee shops with him. Or record another book review video with him. Or show him the website I found that sells comic book fabric. In fact, it wouldn’t really matter what we
do
, if I could just spend some time with him.

I keep myself busy during the week-long holiday. I do two coffee shop videos—one at Origin Coffee and another at Deluxe Coffeeworks—read several books, record a book review, and come up with some new items for my Etsy store. Three days before the end of the holiday, the flannel Wonder Woman fabric I ordered online arrives. I plan to make a few small items like scarves and hand warmers to sell on Etsy—to make back the cost of the fabric—but my main reason for buying this fabric was to sew a pair of winter pyjamas for myself. We’re into April now, and the nights are getting colder. What better way to spend them than wrapped in cosy Wonder Woman PJs?

Well, Andi, you could spend those cold nights wrapped up in a certain guy whose name begins with—

No. I’ve had enough boy drama recently. Besides, I haven’t heard from that certain someone since I ran out of Smuts over two weeks ago. I’m probably the last person he wants to see. Even if he has been replying to some of the comments left on our YouTube video. Not that I’ve been stalking his recently created YouTube account or anything.

Okay, Andi
, I tell myself.
Time to sew.

When Livi returns on Sunday evening, I’m wearing my new pyjamas. “You look so cute!” she exclaims when I open the door to let her in. “Did you make those? Please can I have some!”

“I should show you this website, actually,” I tell her as she wheels her suitcase into her bedroom. “It’s got
Star Trek
fabric and
Star Wars
and Marvel comics and DC comics and a whole lot of other stuff.”

“Yes! Show me, show me!”

We make a bowl of popcorn and sit on the couch with my laptop so I can show Livi her options. After examining every pattern, she chooses
Star Trek
, which we both knew she was going to do from the beginning. “Now you have a birthday present for me,” she says, hugging a cushion. Her intercom buzzes. “Oh, that should be Allegra and Salima.” She tosses the cushion aside and stands up. “We need to finish an assignment for next week. Salima was bugging me about it the whole time I was at home.”

She presses a button to let her friends in through the main door downstairs, then opens her own door. “Hello, hello!” she shouts down the stairs, then claps a hand over her mouth and looks back at me with a guilty expression. “Oops. The neighbours don’t like it when I get noisy.”

Allegra and Salima walk in, Salima saying, “Don’t shout, Livi. You know how grouchy your neighbours can get.”

“Nice to see you too, Salima,” Livi says as she shuts the door.

“Hi, Andi.” Allegra waves to me before heading to Livi’s bedroom.

“I brought healthy snacks,” Salima says, following her. “We need our brains to remain focused.”

“And I brought unhealthy ones,” Allegra adds.

Livi turns to me, already looking tired. “Well, this should be fun. Enjoy whatever movie you’re watching tonight.”

“Thanks. Enjoy your healthy snacks,” I say with a grin.

She sticks her tongue out at me before disappearing into her room.

I’m half an hour into
Avatar
when there’s a knock at the front door. I pause the movie as Livi leans out of her bedroom. “Is someone here?”

“I think so.”

She lowers her voice and says, “Ugh, it must be a neighbour. I wonder what they’re complaining about now.” She walks past the back of the couch, pausing to direct my head back towards the TV. “Face forwards,” she whispers. “You don’t want to get involved in whatever drama is about to go down.” With a frown, I stare at the paused characters on the screen and listen to Livi opening the door. “Oh. Hi,” she says. “Can I help you?”

“Yes, uh, is Andi here?”

The remote slips from my fingers at the sound of the familiar voice. It clatters onto the floor, and I dive after it.

“You must be Noah,” Livi says, her smile evident in her voice. “What a pleasure to finally meet you. And yes, Andi is here.” I sit up and look over the back of the couch. Livi mouths,
He’s hot
, while Noah gives me an uncertain smile from over her shoulder. “Well, I’ve got work to carry on with, so you guys have fun.” She gives me a knowing look before skipping back to her bedroom and closing the door.