The Truth About Us (13 page)

My heart hammers in my chest, thunders in my ears, making his voice sound like he’s speaking under water. My fingers grip his wrist as he slides a hand into my hair. His thumb traces my cheekbone, and I lean into his palm. I don’t remember a single time in my life I’ve ever felt the way I do now. Like the world has stopped and I no longer need air. Like gravity doesn’t exist and if I let him go I’ll float away.

His eyes burn into me, and I need his hands. I need him to never let me go.

“Corbin,” I whisper, and he leans into me, pressing his cheek to mine.

“I need to show you, or I’m going to go crazy thinking about how I can fix this. Us. I need you to know I'm serious. I've never been this serious.” His breath is hot on my ear, and when he finishes talking he pulls back and presses his lips to my jaw. I’ve had some decent kisses in my life. Ones way more legitimate than this one. But never has a kiss to my jaw ever made me gasp.

“It’s a fucking tragedy,” he murmurs against my skin, lightly kissing my neck.

“What is?” I don’t mean for it to sound like nothing but air but I’m concentrating too much on containing myself.

“You and me, sweet Sophia. Nothing that feels this good ends well.”

I don’t deserve to feel this way. I guess that he doesn’t think he does either.

Corbin pulls away, opens the truck door, and hops out, pulling me out after him. He takes a deep breath. I follow suit, but the curiosity has taken me over now that we are standing in the street. Why is he so afraid of his own father? I think of my own dad. His hugs, his strength, his determination for me to succeed. Sure he forced his life on me, but he loves me. He just doesn’t listen to me.

Just before Corbin pulls open the door, he takes one more look at me. Maybe he’s thinking about changing his mind. But he doesn’t. He pulls open the door and holds it while I slip under the arm I desperately want around me.

The large open space is dark and empty even though it’s still early. Even Rich isn’t here. There’s a neon sign behind the bar that casts red light across the dark wood. A shadow passes by, and I step back into the wall.

“Who tha fuck is in my bar? I’m closed buddy.” A strangled voice chokes out. The words are barely coherent.

“Dad?” I would swear it wasn’t Corbin talking if he weren’t the only other person in the room.

“Corb? S’at you? Well goddammit, son, get over here and have a drink with your old man.”

“I think you’ve had enough for tonight, Dad. Where’s Kayla?” Corbin’s voice is tighter, a bit more determined.

David steps out from behind the bar and staggers toward us, unshaven and older. His features weathered by age and alcohol. When David’s close, he stumbles but Corbin doesn’t move to help his dad. He puts out his arm in front of me and presses his palm against my stomach. My heart stops. This protective stance is natural for him. It’s second nature to shield people from his father.

“Well who’s this pretty little thing?” David slurs and I step behind Corbin.

“This is Sophia, Dad. You’ve met her.”

I notice that we haven’t moved five steps from the door, and, by how uncomfortable David makes me, I’m glad.

“You have a thing for those waitresses, don’t ya son?” David laughs and I feel Corbin tense.

“Come on. We just came to get you home.” Corbin finally reaches for his dad’s elbow just to have his arm pushed away.

“I don’t need to go home.”

“You can’t stay at the bar. Come. We’ll take you home.” Corbin grabs David’s arm again and this time David uses both hands and shoves his son’s chest. I jump out from behind him as Corbin stumbles back into the wall, but he doesn’t flinch. It breaks my heart that he doesn’t flinch.

“Let’s go, Dad.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are, you little bastard?” David gets in Corbin’s face, but there is no emotion there. He just steps away from the wall and moves to the door. David grabs his shoulder and spins him.

“You look at me when I’m talking to you. I asked you a fucking question.”

“You’re drunk. I think I’m the guy that will get you home.”

“Fuckin’ smart ass. That bitch should have taught you some manners when you were little.”

I gasp at this, but again Corbin doesn’t react. How is this not crushing him like it’s crushing me? Where does he hide this?

David notices me again and zeros in. He takes one step and Corbin cuts him off.

“Get in the truck.” Corbin’s voice finally reflects some emotion. But out of nowhere, David swings and a sloppy fist catches Corbin in the jaw. Just as fast, Corbin grabs his dad’s tattered plaid shirt and walks him to the wall, slamming him against it. Corbin’s forearm is on David’s throat, his nose inches away. I realize I have my hand over my mouth and my breathing comes in short jagged bursts.

“Get the fuck in the truck, old man,” Corbin growls. “Or I’ll knock you out and drag you home. I’ve done it before. Surely you remember that?”

David pushes Corbin back and mumbles something, but he doesn’t fight back. He staggers past me and out the door.

Corbin and I stand in the dark bar for a few minutes and watch each other. There are so many things I want to say, but like he did when I told him about my anxiety, I stay quiet.

“Don’t look at me like that, Sophia. Please. I can’t handle it.”

xxx

David sits against the door, me in the middle, and we’re silent the entire ride to Corbin’s house. Corbin has me pressed so tight to his side that I'm almost in his lap, his arm around my back as if creating some sort of barrier between David and I. Once the truck is stopped, David disappears without a word to his son, and Corbin doesn’t watch him go.

“Where’s he going?” I ask.

“He lives in the basement. I’m upstairs.” Corbin points and smiles. I notice his split lip.

“Corbin, you’re bleeding.” I reach for his face and his smile widens. It’s like the last half hour didn’t even happen.

“Come in and I’ll let you patch me up.” He raises an eyebrow, but I don’t think it’s funny. I want to ask him how long he’s covered for his dad. How long his dad has hit him for it to seem like just another day. I want to ask him, but remember the lake. Sitting next to him, telling him my secret and not having him try to fix me. Sometimes it’s enough just to let someone in. I slip my hand into his and smile.

“Show me the way to the medicine cabinet.”

xxx

I’m sitting on the counter in the biggest bathroom I’ve ever seen in my life, the mirror hanging open so I can sift through all the drugs and vitamins. Corbin leans against the wall opposite me and watches while I unpack gauze and douse it in antiseptic.

“Come here.” I nod to the spot between my knees. He doesn’t hesitate to step between my legs, but I don’t notice his hands on my thighs until I press the gauze to his lips and he digs his fingers into my jeans.

“Fucking hell, that hurts.”

“Oh, come on. You can get punched in the face and not flinch, but a little peroxide makes you yell?”

“I didn’t yell. I swore.”

“You yelled.
And
swore.” I tap his chest with my finger while he shakes his head. His dark hair is hanging in his face and his eyes dance with amusement.

“What?” I ask. He gestures around him.

“We’re in a bathroom again.” His hand slides up my leg, and I put my palm on it.

“That we are.” My heart starts to pump while Corbin’s eyes burn into me. I try to look away, but his hand catches my cheek, and he ducks to keep in my line of sight.

“I’m really sorry about what happened with Kayla. I need you to know.”

I nod, my cheek still cupped in his hand.

“I know. You showed me your secret in penance. I accept your apology.” I push a smile over my teasing tone.

“Fucking hell, you’re beautiful.”

I don’t know where it comes from but before I can respond he closes the distance between us. His mouth covers mine with this intense mix of hunger and care. My back straightens out of surprise and his arm slides around my waist, pulling me to the edge of the counter.

I kiss him back like I’ve been doing it for years. My lips parting and letting him in. My arms slide around his neck as he leans over me, deepening the kiss. It’s hard and passionate and chips away at something deep inside me. The vibration in my limbs increases, until my whole body is humming. My hands are cupping his neck, pulling at his shoulders, grabbing at his shirt. Our breathing is synced. Forceful. Heavy.

His hands rake up and down my back pulling my hips into him.

But as fast as it started, he pulls away. I gasp for air and press tangled hair from my face. I don't even know how the strands got there.

“I’m sorry.” I say it out of habit. The old Sophia. Corbin laughs and shakes his head.

“I’m not, but I need to stop.” He says as he hunches forward. “I shouldn’t have done that. This isn’t the right time.”

I’m shaking my head, but he can’t see me. “There’s no such thing as good timing.”

“You just helped me drag my drunken, asshole father home from the bar you work at. There is such a thing as better timing.”

I reach out and pull him by his shirt. His body crashes into mine one more time and my legs wrap around his hips. He grips under my thighs as I clench his shirt in my fists, but this time he leans down and kisses me gently. The burn that makes me want to disappear into him is no less intense as his mouth softly tastes mine. When he pulls back, his thumb replaces the pressure as it traces the outline of my bottom lip. I don’t think I could hold myself up if I tried and I’m glad to be sitting down. His eyes dance back and forth between deep and probing, and devious and playful.

“Don’t leave. I’m going to check on him, but stay right here. I’m not going to fuck you tonight, Sweet Sophia, not yet. But I’m definitely not done with you either.” His forwardness makes my cheeks flush, but his words make my body surge. I gently nip at the tip of his thumb, making him smile a wicked smile. The want for him that fills me creeps into every limb, even though I know his earlier words are true. I can feel it already. But it feels so good.

A fucking tragedy.

Chapter Fifteen

Corbin

Dad’s fine, like I knew he would be. He’s passed out on the couch of his small one bedroom suite with his shoes still on. His apartment is messy and stinks like booze. Nothing different. It’s me who’s not fine.

My chest is tight, and I lean against my dad’s counter, bending forward to take a deep breath. My dick throbs against jeans as I replay the soft bite to my thumb and the desperate look in her eyes.

“What are you doing?” I say to myself out loud, pressing the back of my hand against my lip. That was the most painful kiss I’ve ever had, but I couldn’t stop it.

I didn’t want to stop it.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I scramble for it. I don’t need any further vibrations in that general area.

The screen lights up and a message from Gaby flashes.

Parker is so excited that I think I’m going crazy. Can we just come see you tomorrow instead of your birthday? LOL seriously, he's driving me insane!

I smile at the thought of my nephew. Things are simple for him. It is, or it isn’t. There’s no in-between for Parker. None of this ‘life’s-many-grey-areas’ turmoil that floods my system. I remember talking to him on the phone when he first started school.

“How was your first day, Buddy?” I had asked, and all I got was this long exaggerated sigh. “Uh oh! That bad?”

He was silent for a moment. “No, Uncle. It was the best day of my life. We got to color, and sing, and play tag outside at recess. The teacher’s name is Miss Johnson, and she’s gunna be my wife.”

I snorted my coffee at my kitchen table. “What? You can’t marry the teacher, Bud.”

Silence again. “But I love her.”

It was so matter of fact. He was so convinced that there was no other way that I couldn’t argue with him.

“Well make sure I get an invitation then, will ya?” I asked after I finished laughing.

I smile at the memory, wishing I could have that resolve. That I could overlook all the obvious problems with my feelings. That I could ignore all the potential disasters around every corner. I wish I could step out of the grey area and make a decision. Even a simple one that isn’t drowning in excuses.

I quickly text my sister back telling her she can come see me anytime she wants. I look over at my dad as I hit send. As long as Gaby doesn’t bring my mother, it’ll all be fine.

Besides the fact that I don’t want to see her, I can’t even imagine the clusterfuck of my mom and dad being in the same place. It’s something I never want to have to deal with, especially now.

Ever since Sophia got here, my feelings have never been this close to the surface. I’ve never before wanted anyone to know the secret I actually keep.