The Truth About Us (17 page)

I need to clear my head.

xxx

We pull up to Mills Lake, and the first thing I want to do is get in. Swim across and clear my mind. The soft light ripples across the surface, and the familiar smell of damp air blows onto shore. Sophia gets out after me, her eyes wary. Her look is different now. Or, it's different now that I know about her. She seems more fragile. This isn’t just some trip into the water when she couldn’t swim. She drowned, and so did someone else.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders and pull her back to my chest, nuzzling my nose in her hair. I'll never tire of her smell.

"It's not the lake that you're scared of," I whisper in her ear, and she reaches up to grab my forearm with both her hands. "It's in here." I kiss the side of her head.

"It doesn't make it any easier," she says, her body tense. I wish she’d tell me about him. Whoever
him
is. I need to know, but I can’t just ask. Not without having to explain myself. I’m not ready for that.

"I know." My mind wanders to the phone call I got from my mom and my gut tightens until it hurts. But I should tell her. About Mom. About how I'm more tied to her past than she thinks I am. More than I would have ever thought possible. But part of me is still processing it. My mom had to choose. My mom saved her.

I don’t know how to deal with this.

“Hey?” Sophia touches my face. “Where are you?”

I force a smile. “Nowhere. I think I’m gunna go for a swim before we start.”

She tenses and glances over her shoulder.

“I’ll be fine. I swim in this lake all the time. It’s totally safe.”

“I wish you wouldn’t.”

I take her hand and walk her to the edge of the water. Her fingers tremble in mine.

“This is what I love, Sophia.” I step into the still water but let go of her hand. I would never force her back into the water, but I’ll never stop going in. “This is my drug. I have to swim, or I go crazy.”

She wraps one arm around her stomach and runs the other through her hair, taking a huge breath.

“I’m sorry. I know. It’s just hard. All I see is him.” She presses her hand against her mouth, her eyes get wide. My head becomes cloudy, but there it is. She said it.

Him.

“Who’s him?” I try to look shocked; even though relief pours through me that I don’t have to tell her about Mom. Not yet anyway.

Sophia spins and walks away. I watch her until she’s back at the truck, grabbing boxes from the back.

I pull my shirt off with one hand, throw it on the beach and dive in without my goggles, or trunks, or anything.

The further I go the more I realize that this is too much. Sophia’s emotional shipwreck is too much. I know that I should step back.

I just don’t want to.

But how am I supposed to compete with
him?
Especially if she doesn’t want to tell me who he is.

xxx

When I come out of the water to join my friends setting up the Bash, I feel no better. For the first time ever, I’m more confused coming out of the water than I was going in.

“Nice of you to join us.” Garett immediately puts a hammer in my hands and shoves me toward the stage in the wide open field behind the short row of cabin rentals. As we get closer I see Kayla, her thick golden hair pulled up in a ponytail which is not a look I see on her often. The too tight shirt and shorts are typical, but the guy’s arms around her is not. I elbow Garett.

“Since when is Kayla with Matt? I thought Matt was with Julie?” Matt and Julie have been together since high school. Which was a long time ago.

“Since when are you a fifteen year old girl?” Garett laughs and I glare.

“That guy’s a douche.”

“And Kayla is no longer your problem.” Garett shrugs.

“I don’t like it.”

“Focus on your own girl, Corb,” Garett veers off as I keep going toward the stage. “Kayla can take care of herself. Stop saving people. It’s pathetic.”

I flip off my friend, and he grabs his crotch like he does every time he tells one of us to grow a pair.

xxx

By mid-afternoon I’m sweating, dirty and severely dehydrated. I built the stage, hauled the equipment that showed up in a massive truck, signed off on a truck filled with beer kegs and rolled them into one of the cabins designated for bar staff.

Kayla had done a great job of convincing people to show up and help. The lake is beginning to take the shape of our massive party. The city partnered with us, and outside the beer gardens they’re setting up rides and games for kids. The Bash always happens the last weekend in June on the day that classes end for elementary and high schools. The turnout is always massive, and I’d be a lot more stressed out if I wasn’t still reeling from my mother’s call.

The city staff is putting up fencing around the bar area to keep the drunks in check. The whole lake is buzzing with people, and while I like the Bash, I like Mills Lake better when it’s just me.

I stab out my cigarette and catch sight of Sophia counting boxes of beer cups with her hair stuck to her face in the heat. She reaches up to push it aside and sees me. Her smile is breathtaking, especially when it’s aimed my way. But it also stirs the guilt of not telling her what I know. I nod to her and go back in the cabin to finish dealing with booze. I wish my dad wasn’t such a useless bag of shit and could actually get himself out here to help. It's his bar after all.

I barely finish the thought when a thick terrifying scream cuts through the air and I instantly know it’s her.

I stick my head out the door and look to the lake. Sophia is slung over some guy’s shoulder, her fists pounding on his back. The anger that surges through me is something I’ve never felt before. Even with everything I’ve been through. It doesn’t last because fear takes over when I realize what’s happening. They’re heading to the lake.

Sophia’s next scream pushes me forward, and I jump off the cabin porch. I hear laughing and screaming but mostly the sound of my mother’s voice.

Oh no, sweetie. She was dead.

I recognize the guy as Matt. The anger resurfaces. I push harder. Run faster.

Sophia’s screams get louder.

How can they not hear her? How do they not hear the terror in her voice?

She flails and kicks. She screams and cries begging him not to throw her in.

Kayla is watching me now. Running for them. Matt’s out to his waist in water.

As soon as I’m on the sand, I kick off my flip-flops. I see Garett in the distance, running for us, as well.

My feet cut through the water just as Matt heaves Sophia off his shoulder and into the lake. She isn’t under for more than a second before I get to her. She claws at me under the water, scratching my chest, kicking her feet out at me. Her eyes are wide, but in the murky water I doubt she recognizes me.

I finally get a hold of her around her waist and drag her to the surface.

Garett is next to me, and he helps me grab her. Sophia’s legs kick. She screams over and over. She’s in complete meltdown mode. Garett has to grab her legs. I hold her under the shoulders, pinning her arms to her chest and her small but unbelievably strong body struggles and fights.

We finally get her on the beach, and I almost have to lay on her to keep her still. There is nothing but pure panic in her eyes. No recognition. No rational thought. She just screams the name Lance.

Over and over.

“Go get her purse!” I yell at Garett who looks at me as if to say what the fuck is happening. “Her purse, Garett. Go!”

Garett kicks sand up as he runs to the truck, and I turn my attention back to Sophia, ignoring the onlookers.

“Sophia. Shh,” I shush her. Holding her wrists. “Sophia, it’s okay. You’re okay now. You’re out of the water. You’re okay.”

Her screams turn to sobs, but she still calls out his name.

“It’s not Lance. Lance isn’t here, Sophia. It’s me. Corbin.”

Her eyes search me desperately, and I see it. I see the light turn on. I see her come back.

Her arms fling around my neck and she cries. Her entire body is wracked with earth shattering sobs that rip and tear at my insides. No one should have to live with this much fear. I continue to comfort her, my eyes scanning for Garett, whose body is half in and half out of my truck window. I catch the horrified look on Matt’s face.

“I hope you’re fucking proud of yourself,” I shoot at him, and he shakes his head. I rub Sophia’s back, scared that if she doesn’t stop hyperventilating that she’ll pass out.

“I was just playing around, man. I had no idea. It was just a joke, to get back for kicking me out of the bar. I didn’t mean-”

“You didn’t mean to?” The words are filled with disbelief. “You didn’t hear her screaming? I could hear from the cabin. Everyone in the whole fucking city probably heard her.”

“They always scream.” His words fade out as he realizes what he said, and he looks to Kayla. Her arms are crossed, and she steps to the side as Garett comes back with Sophia’s purse. I pull out the bottle of pills and shake one into my hand.

“One?” I ask, but Sophia’s still crying, her head buried in my shoulder her breathing loud and ragged. “Sophia? One or two?”

“One,” She chokes out, and I pry her off me to give her the pill. She won’t look up, at me or anyone else. I need to get her out of here.

I scoop her up in my arms and stand. Kayla's still watching me with her lips pressed together.

“A bit of an over-reaction,” she mutters, and I stop abruptly. I’m not sure if this sort of momentary hatred has ever burned through me this hot and this fast before, but I’m taken over by it. I look at Kayla in a way that makes her take a step back.

“You know that name she was screaming?” My voice is so even I don’t know what to make of it. This is so far out of my fucking league I don’t know what I’m doing. I just react. Kayla’s eyes widen.

“Lance?” I continue. “That’s the name of a guy that Sophia knew. A guy that died. In a lake. From drowning. And she was there. So no. Not an overreaction. Not at all.”

Kayla doesn’t speak, but her eyes shift to Sophia, small and weak in my arms.

“I didn’t know.” Kayla’s voice almost inaudible.

“Well, now you do.”

Sophia tenses and lifts her head. Her breath comes out shaky, her eyes still distant and confused, but the drug is taking her over. Calming her down.

“Lance wasn’t just some guy I knew,” she says as fresh tears spill down her face. “Lance was my little brother.”

Chapter Nineteen

Sophia

The look of pity is everywhere. They all stare at me. They all feel sorry for me.

This pathetic girl. This tiny girl who couldn’t save her brother. This weak thing that needs to be protected.

I push back against Corbin’s body even though it’s the only place I want to be. My head swims. My body shivers. My legs shake as Corbin sets me in the sand.

But I fight it. I will not be weak.

Corbin puts his hand on my back, and I grab it. I lace my fingers through his and begin my long and painful walk to the cabin. My lungs are burning and my throat raw. All my muscles scream.

Corbin doesn’t speak, and I think he knows not to. I don't know what he could say right now that would make me feel better.

His hand in mine is enough of a tie to the sane world to help me stand. He doesn't walk ahead or behind me; he keeps perfect pace. I momentarily hate him for being so good to me, for giving me something I don't deserve.

Almost as soon as we walk through the cabin door I stumble. My knees only having enough in them to get me out of the sight of all the others.

I stumble and Corbin catches me, his arms curling me into him and propping me up. The bubbling tears choke me, so I let them fall freely. I don't care if he sees me. I don't care what he thinks of me.

"I miss him," my voice gurgles. "I miss him so fucking much."

The pain of my brother's death rips me open like it did the first time. Like it does everytime.

Corbin pulls me to the small couch in the one-room cabin, weaving through kegs. Just as we sit down there's a knock at the door.

"Fuck off!" Corbin yells.

Silence.

"Thank you,” I say, and Corbin shrugs, his eyes searching me as if to try to see exactly what part of me is falling apart.

"Are you cold?" he asks. "Do you need anything?"

He seems uncomfortable, tense, but yet he's saying and doing everything right.

"I'm sorry. You can go if you want. I just need some time."

He stretches his legs out on the couch and pulls me so that I'm lying on top of him, wrapping me up tightly against his bare chest. I can feel his warmth, and hear the sound of his heart.

"I don't have anywhere to be."