The Truth in Lies (The Truth in Lies Saga) (21 page)

Without hesitation, my hands unraveled from his neck.  Placed against his shoulders, I pushed back with a small amount of force. 

“No, Nate, please.”  My voice cracked from the weight bearing down on my chest.

He ignored my heeds, pressing his lips firmly to mine.  I pushed harder against his shoulders, refusing to kiss him back.  It didn’t matter that my body was screaming for the physical release.  My mind and my heart wouldn’t allow it.

“Nate, I said no!” I exclaimed with as much force as I could muster.

He released me, causing me to almost lose my balance again.
 I caught myself on the counter and looked up into his hard eyes.  They were filled with rejection and anger.  Guilt and my own anger tore through me.

“Why not?” he demanded.

“I just can’t.  I’m trying to move on with my life, and this is a step backward not forward.”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” he growled, slamming his fist down on the counter.

I jumped at the sound of skin and bone hitting marble.  “No it’s not.  I left for so many reasons and none of those reasons have changed.”

“I’ve changed, McKenzie.
 I really have.  Please, I’m only asking for another chance.”

I released a deep sigh.
 It didn’t matter if he had changed.  I had changed, and this wasn’t what I wanted any longer.  

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling the tears burning the back of my eyes.

Nate ripped his fingers through his hair and glared at me.  “It’s him.  Isn’t it?”

“Him who?” I asked, perplexed.
 

His nose flared and his eyes burned through me.  “Don’t act stupid.  You know
exactly
who I’m talking about.”

I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows trying to figure out what Nate was talking about.
 

Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning.
 He was referring to Drew.  How he knew about Drew, I was unsure, but he somehow knew.  I guess my face exposed me because Nate nodded.

“Yeah, him.
 The guy on the beach.  I was discussing my promotion options with my boss on his private yacht off the shore of Longboat Key last Sunday.  Talk about pure surprise to see you flipping about with your parents and
him
,” he answered my unspoken question.

My mouth dropped open.
 “That’s why you called me on my birthday,” I rasped.

“Partly,” he snarled.

“Nate, he’s just a good friend.”

Nate pursed his lips.  Sweat started to build on the back of my neck. 

“I don’t know.  Looked rather cozy if you ask me.  I lost count of how many times he maneuvered in your path during that silly game.  Some nerve he had feeling you up like that in front of Bill and Lindsey.”

I raked my nails over my scalp, diverting my eyes from his horrific gaze.  “He wasn’t feeling me up.  He’s my friend.  Nothing more.”

Nate leaned back against the counter with his arms crossed over his firm chest.  A condescending scowl colored his expression.  “You expect me to believe that you two are just friends?”

“It’s the truth!” I yelled, throwing my hands in the air.

“I saw the way you looked at each other.  I’m not an idiot.  How long have you been dating him?”

“I’m not dating him.  He’s dating Liv,” I blurted out.

His lips pursed into a smug grin.  A maniacal chuckle pulsed from his lips.

“I didn’t know you had it in you, McKenzie.  Going after your best friend’s boyfriend,” he jeered.  “You really have sunk to an all time low.
 And here you are talking about rebuilding your life,” Nate sneered.

Bile rose in my throat.
 I was going to be sick, and I knew I had to get out of there.  I shoved away from the counter and made my way out of the kitchen, heading to the front door.  Everywhere I turned I had to dodge boxes.

“Sure, run again, McKenzie.
 Just like you always do.  I hope your playmate doesn’t mind a runner.  Maybe that’s what he likes about you.  He can do anything he wants, and you won’t say shit.”

“Fuck you, Nate!” I screamed.
 “You know nothing about me.  You think you do, but you don’t!”  

My mind was frazzled.
 I couldn’t think.  I knew how lame that sounded, but it didn’t matter.  

I pushed my way to the door.  Nate was right behind me.  His frenzied laugh left me feeling cold and shaken. 

“Not so innocent anymore, are you?  You can’t judge people, because you’re now just as bad, if not worse.  Or do you still have him fooled into believing that you’re the sweet little girl that needs protecting?  That one always worked with me,” he jibed.

My lungs felt like they might collapse.  I had no retort, because deep down, I knew I deserved this. 

I managed my way out of the house.  The door slammed cutting off the verbal assault behind me.  Forcing myself not to vomit in the bushes, I shuffled through my purse in efforts to locate my keys.

The car seemed miles away as I rushed toward it.  “McKenzie, come back,” Nate’s voice boomed behind me. 

I jumped into the Prius and started the engine.  Without thinking, I peeled out of the drive, making a horrible shrieking noise.  If I woke the neighbors, it was Nate who had to suffer through it, not me.  I fumbled around inside my purse for my cell phone.  There was only one person I knew who could calm me down.  I needed to talk to Drew.

I quickly dialed his number, as I drove.
 With no idea where I was going, I simply let fate guide me down the streets.  Drew picked up after two rings.  Just the sound of his voice made me feel better.

“Hey you,” he answered.

“Andy,” I whimpered, trying to mask the hurt in my voice.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, hearing right through my fa
çade.

“I just left...just left,” I hiccupped.

“Drew, who’s that?” Olivia’s voice rang through the phone.  My heart sank.  Of course he was with her.  She was the one he loved.  How foolish of me. 

“Nothing.  Sorry, I bothered you.
 Have a good night,” I rattled.

“Mickie, wait.
 She just stopped by.  I wasn’t expecting her.  Talk to me, please,” he beseeched me.

“She
should
be stopping by.  She’s your
girlfriend
,” I enunciated, each word heavy on my tongue.  Not for his sake but for mine.  “I have to go.”

“It’s not what you think.  Please, Mickie, don’t go.  Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing.  I’m fine.  I need to go.  I’m sorry I bothered you.”  I hung up without letting Drew respond.

My chest ripped wide open.
 I increased my speed, still unsure of where I was at or where I was going.  Tears spilled down my cheeks.  I pushed them away with the back of my hand fighting the urge to scream.  Drew tried to call me back, but I ignored his calls.  I couldn’t talk to him after having made such a fool of myself.  

Street lights drifted by me, as long streams of light.  My heart guiding me like a compass, I found myself at the beach.
 The moon hung high in the sky and the brisk night air caused my hair to whip my face as I made my way along the waterline.  Nate’s words rang loud and true in my head.

I sat down in the sand, staring out over the water.  With each passing tide, the water inched up to the shore, rolling over my feet.  The initial shock of the cold liquid caused me to shudder.  What I realized was that feeling made the pain I felt go away.  A pain I needed to ease somehow.

I kicked off my flip-flops and rolled up my jeans.  Bouncing up on my feet, I took a step into the ocean.  The cold water burned my feet yet it managed to answer the cries for my relief.  Another step.  The water sang like a cruel siren’s song.  Its body of cool water splashed up over my ankles.  The sudden chill of the water hurt, but I relished the pain.  

The deeper I went, the more the pain died inside me.  The water sloshed over my legs and up my calves, then my thighs
, until I finally submerged myself into its full depths.  I held my breath for as long as I could.  My body shook from the pain, as the chill of the water caused my muscles to contract.  When my lungs burned for the need to breathe, I came up out of the water, gulping down air, and released a scream of agony.  All the hurt I had felt rushed from my chest into my scream.  I inhaled the crisp air feeling it burn through my lungs.

The tears poured down my face mixing with the salty sea water.
 Shivering from the cold, I swam to shore.  My body felt like a thousand tiny knives were slicing through my skin.  My legs heavy, my body frozen, I fell on the shore and stared up at the moon.  

Heat lifted off the sand, warming my back, as I looked up into the night sky.  The moon dangled in the
Heavens outshining its neighbors.  It was big and bright, and taunting me, because just like Drew, it too was untouchable.  

Something inside me wanted to tempt fate.  So, I reached out to see if somehow I could touch it.  Of course, much to my dismay, I couldn’t.
 I dropped my limp hand back into the sand. There, looking at the night sky, I realized I was officially alone for the first time in my life.  No one would rescue me.  No would be able to stop the pain.  I was alone.  Broken and completely alone.

My face felt like a Mack truck had plowed into it.  Every joint and muscle in my body ached and my fever still hadn’t broken.  To say I was a mess was an understatement.  After calling in sick to work for three days straight, I finally had to admit to Jared why I was sick.  He was pretty mad at me when I told him about my late night swim.  He was even angrier when I explained to him why I took the dip into freezing cold water.  Not that
I could blame him.  It ranked up there as one of the dumbest things I had ever done.

With me having been sick so long, he determined that I wasn’t taking proper care of myself.
 I told him I had gone to the doctor and the doctor prescribed antibiotics along with bed rest, but that wasn’t good enough for Jared.  He showed up, unannounced, with a pharmacy bag in one hand and food in the other.  Once he felt I was properly fed and medicated, we crashed on the couch and watched re-runs of our favorite sitcoms.

Curled up in a little ball, my head rested in his lap, as he played with my hair. 

“Can I ask you something?” His voice broke through the staged laughter of the television.

“You can ask me anything.”

“What the hell possessed you to go see Nate?  You know how he manipulates you.  Why would you do such a thing, McKenzie?  I don’t get it?”

“I made a promise, Jared.  That’s all I can really say in my defense.  I guess I felt like I owed him the closure.”

“And the midnight swim in the Gulf?”

My whole body tensed up in shame.
 I didn’t know how to explain to him that while swimming in a freezing cold ocean might seem like suicide to most, it was something that I needed to do in order to recognize the ramifications of my decisions.

I sneezed hard and Jared handed me a tissue.
 I blew my nose only to feel the aching throb in my sinuses from the pressure.

“You wouldn’t be so sick if you hadn’t decided to do something so stupid,” he scolded me.

“I know, I know,” I groaned, sounding hollow and nasally.  “I didn’t know what else to do.  I couldn’t talk to Drew, and obviously I couldn’t talk to Olivia.  Going for a swim sounded like a great idea at the time to clear my head.”  I coughed hard and snuggled up in my blanket.

“And what am I?
 Chopped liver?”  He clenched his jaw, defeat written on his face.

Jared lifted my head and stood up from the couch.
 He then placed my head down on the cushion, and walked into the kitchen.  Several minutes later he came back with a hot cup of tea and handed it to me.  

I leaned up on one elbow, taking the cup.  It felt warm to the
touch.  Even through my stopped-up head I could smell the mint leaves soaking in the hot liquid.

“You should’ve called me.”
 He sounded so forlorn.  I felt guilty for making him feel so insignificant.  He was right, I should have called him.

He stood over me watching carefully to make sure I took a good drink of the warm brown fluid. I looked up at him and snarled.
 “It burns,” I whined.

“But it’ll help clear out your chest.”

He made me take another drink before taking the cup from me, and placing it on the coffee table.

Lifting my head and laying it back in his lap, he resumed his seat on the sofa.
 He began to play with my hair again, effectively relaxing me.  I cuddled close to his warm body, thankful for the heat.  I felt miserable, but at least being sick prevented me from dealing with the heartache I had been enduring.

“You’re not chopped liver, just so you know.
 You’re my bestest bud.”  I giggled then coughed hard.

“Apparently not when you thought getting sick was a better alternative than calling me.”

My wrist flexed with a limp pat of his knee.  “I wasn’t thinking clearly.  Nate had just ripped me to shreds.  Drew was with Liv.” I sighed.  “I’m sorry.”   

Jared twirled my hair around his fingers and began to flip through channels.
 “I’m worried about you.  I fear if you keep...” 

The phone rang.  I reached for the phone to see who was calling.  Upon discovering it was Drew, yet again, I laid the phone back on the table unanswered.

“You plan on answering that?”

“Does it look like I intend t
o?”  I sniffled and rubbed my raw nose.

“You can’t continue to avoid him.  Answer the phone,” Jared demanded.

“I don’t feel like talking to–” 

Jared reached over me, ripping the phone off the table and placed it to my ear.  I had no choice but to answer.

“Hello,” I mumbled.

“What the hell, Mickie?  You call me up like that and then refuse to talk to me.  I had already determined if you didn’t answer this time
, I was driving to your apartment.  How dare you do this to me?” Drew spouted in anger.

Wincing at the sound of anguish in his voice, I rubbed my hand over my face allowing him to vent his frustrations.  When I was certain he was done, I spoke.  “I’m sorry, Andy.  I’ve been sick the last few days.  I didn’t feel like talking to anyone.”

“Not even me?”

He sounded so hurt at the realization that I would cut him off so easily.  He didn’t realize how hard it actually was for me to distance myself from him.  Countless times I thought about calling and begging him to come take care of me, but Nate’s comments always resurfaced preventing me from making that call.

“I knew you were in court, and I didn’t want to bother you,” I answered.

“I see.”  His anger had subsided and remorse had set in.  “Are you feeling any better?”

“Not really.  I’ve been to the doctor and he put me on some antibiotics.”

“That should help.  I guess I’ll let you get some rest.  Sorry I bothered you.”

“You didn’t bother me.  I’ll talk to you soon.”

I tried my hardest not to focus on the sadness in his voice as we said goodbye.  I tossed my phone back on the table and returned to my position of resting my head on Jared’s lap.

“There.  Don’t you feel better?”

“Not especially.  Thank you,” I grumbled, focusing my attention on the television.

I lay on the couch feeling like I was dying.  Periodically, Jared would force more tea or broth down my throat, but for the most part, we sat in silence.  He was content taking care of me, and I was content letting him do so.

“It’s nearly nine o’clock.  Maybe we should get you into–”

A knock at the door interrupted him. I looked up at him with questioning eyes.  He shrugged, as if to say he wasn’t expecting anyone.   

“Who is it?” I called out, not wanting to get up from my spot if it was a solicitor.

“Olivia and Drew,” Olivia’s voice hollered back.

“Are you kidding me?” I mouthed.

He shrugged again, his eyes filled with concern.  “Your fault.  You told your boyfriend you’re sick.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I hissed.

“Well, whatever the case may be, he’s standing out there waiting for you to let him in, and he brought the bride of Satan with him.”

Reluctantly, I pulled myself up off the couch.
 Giving myself a once over, I cringed at my appearance.  I was in an old pair of yoga pants and a faded sweatshirt.  My hair was a mess, my nose was swollen, and now I had to face Drew looking like that.  I sighed and meandered over to the door, unlocking the deadbolt.  I tried to tell myself that it didn’t matter what I looked like.  Drew belonged to Olivia so I had no reason to impress him anymore than I did Jared.  I opened the door.

Olivia eyed my appearance and snarled.  “Damn, Kenz, you look like hell.”

“Thanks.  Love you too, Liv,” I grumbled, focusing all my attention on her.  I couldn’t bear to look Drew in the eyes.  I had acted like such a child and was humiliated by my behavior.

Reaching for a strand of my wayward hair, Olivia pushed it behind my ear.  “Sorry.
 I’m just surprised, that’s all.  You should’ve called me.  I would’ve been here sooner had I known.”

“I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone.
 I’m a big girl.  I can take care of myself.”

Jared snickered, causing Olivia to stretch her neck out in an attempt to see around me.
 I rolled my eyes and opened the door wider, ushering her and Drew in.

“You’re never a burden to anyone, Kenz,” Olivia stated looking over at Jared, who was still seated on the couch staring at the television.
 Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.   I knew exactly where her mind was going.

“We brought you some soup.
 I figured you wouldn’t take care of yourself in this state.”  She lifted the grocery bag in her hand for me to see, as she pushed past me.

“You got that right,” Jared said, still not having turned his attention away from what he was watching.

“What is this?  Pick on McKenzie because she’s sick day?” I complained as I closed the door.

“I’m not picking on you,” Drew muttered.

“Oh, look,
he speaks,” Olivia teased, turning to Drew and placing a tiny kiss on his cheek.  “He hardly said a word all the way over here.”  

Drew cringed away from her.  His sudden movement caused me to look at him.  My breath caught in my chest at the sight of him.  He had trimmed his hair down shorter than usual.  His eyes looked weary and tired, but he stood tall and strong as ever.  As my eyes drifted down his lanky form, a smile teased my lips.  Drew was wearing the suit I bought him.

It looked better than I had even imagined it.  Per usual, it was tailored to fit him perfectly.  His shoulders looked broader and his chest appeared wider due to the color and pinstripes.  He accompanied the deep blue silk suit with a lavender tie that matched the thin pinstripes. 

“Nice suit,” I whispered.

A small smirk cornered his mouth.  “I have a great fashion coordinator.  She picked it out for me.”

“Yeah.  I have to hand it to you, Kenz, I was wrong about the suit.  It looks very good on him,” Olivia added.

“Today was my last day in court.  I wanted to look my best,” Drew noted with pride.

“I bet you knocked them dead, just like I said you would.”

“I won, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”  A chuckle rumbled from Drew’s throat, but his eyes held an ample amount of hurt.

“Of course he won.  He’s Andrew Wise for Heaven’s sake.  He never loses,” Olivia boasted.  She turned to Jared.  “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“It’s nice to see you too, Olivia,” Jared responded flatly.

“That’s not what I meant.  I just figured our girl here was alone by the way Drew talked.”

“I never said anything of the sort,” Drew corrected her. 

Olivia’s mouth dropped in aghast.  “You did, too.  You said that you were planning on coming here after work because Kenz was sick and you thought she was alone.  That’s when I asked if I could join you,” she argued.  “I swear this case sucked the life out of you.”

Drew’s shoulders slumped forward.  There was no fight in him.  I’d never seen him back down like that.  Olivia was right.  Something was terribly wrong.

“Have a seat, everyone,” I invited as I walked past Drew. 

I caught a whiff of his cologne.  Even through my clogged head, I knew that scent.  I sat down on the couch, pulling my legs up to my chest.  Jared reached for my blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders.  Drew’s eyes bore into us.  He turned his head when he caught me looking at him.

I ached to touch him.
 He seemed so tense, and the agony rolled off of him.  I knew he was hurt and I had caused it.  But I knew in time he would understand my actions.

Drew unbuttoned his jacket and sat down in the arm chair across from us.  Olivia placed the Publix bag on the coffee table and was about sit down when Jared jumped up from the couch. 

“Is that the soup from Publix?” he asked.

“Yeah.”  Her mouth twisted in confusion.

“Let’s go heat it up for her.  She doesn’t eat enough as it is.”  Jared grabbed Olivia by the arm. 

“Do you really need my help to operate a microwave?”  Olivia demanded, struggling against his grip.

“Yes, I do.  Now c’mon.”

With a huff, she followed Jared into the kitchen.

“How are you, Mickie?” Drew asked, his timbre strained. 

I glanced toward the kitchen to see Jared working to maintain Olivia’s attention. 
Thanks for taking one for the team,
I thought.

I looked down at my hands unable to meet Drew’s eyes.
 “I’ve been better, but this too shall pass.”

Drew reached for my hand.  I flinched.  “Andy, please,” I whispered.

“Mickie, listen to me.  She came by on her own that night. I really wanted to talk to you.”

The pain in his tone ripped my heart to shreds.
  I looked up into his beautiful blue eyes and saw the anguish in them.  I reached for his hand.  “I know, Drew, but you don’t need to explain yourself.  Olivia is your
girlfriend
.  She was where she was supposed to be.”