The Ugly One (19 page)

I thought back to the time Chasca had found me covering my face with mud, trying in vain to hide my scar. She had said, even then, that I was special. Perhaps she truly
had
known all along. I reached over and took her hand as I offered a simple smile of gratitude. She squeezed back, the strength in her touch telling me how deeply she believed in me. It was true that here in Sacred Sun City, Chasca was one of many lovely Sun Maidens, but in my eyes she had an inner beauty that shone the most brightly of all.

“You're glad it is I and not you who spoke to the gods,” I said.

She laughed. “Yes. It's enough for me to be the sister of the Marked Girl. I would prefer to catch the eye of a handsome nobleman.”

“Have you seen any you like?” I asked.

“A few,” she mused. “But the most handsome man I have seen so far is one of the llama herders!” She covered her mouth and giggled. “I don't think Ocllo will allow me anywhere near him, though. She takes her position as our supervisor very seriously.”

I laughed. Poor Ocllo. If my sister set her heart on someone, it would be difficult to keep her from what she wanted. I wondered what the outcome of my sister's romantic adventures would be. Would she marry? Would she be happy?

“Chasca, are you glad you are here?”

She nodded her head slowly. “There have been some challenges, true. But there have been many, many good things. I know I will lead a happy life.”

We stared at each other, each of us thinking about our future path.

“I'm very proud of you,” I said.

She held me to her. “I'm very, very proud of you.”

We stayed this way for some time, two sisters clasped in a motionless embrace that spoke of love, of pride, of friendship.

Storytellers began to gather at the fires. Some of the people flocked to them, attracted to their laughter and fun. They gestured broadly with their arms and made expressive faces, reminding me of Uncle Turu. Other people had begun dancing to the steady beat of the many drummers.

“I want to dance! Will you join me?” Chasca asked with a gleam in her eyes.

I smiled. If I couldn't dance tonight, when could I? “Yes,” I said. “But you go now. I'll join you soon.”

“Micay!” she began to protest.

“I will. I promise. I just want to sit and watch for a while.”

My sister gave me a stern glance before she leapt up to join the dancers. I lingered behind and nibbled on my food, content to watch for now as the festivities continued.

“May I join you?” It was Ucho, my longtime enemy, requesting permission to sit with me. He held a plate of food, and his face was uncertain.

“Of course,” I said.

He sat. The pounding of the drums filled the empty silence of Ucho's discomfort. “You, ahhh, you look very nice,” he said at last.

If someone had told me Ucho would be saying such words to me, I would have called this person a liar.

“Thank you,” I whispered. We both looked down in embarrassment.

“When I return to the village, I'll tell the people you're the Marked Girl, that you're to become a shaman.”

If I travel to Beyond
, I thought to myself, but I didn't share my fears with Ucho. I imagined him arriving home with the news. How would he tell the people? How would they receive the announcement? Would they believe him? Would they cheer for me?

“Thank you,” I repeated.

A sudden breeze announced Sumac's approach. I smiled and held out my arm for my friend, who landed with grace. Ucho flinched at his presence, but Sumac chose to ignore him. Instead, the bird squawked happily at me, as if to say,
Hello, here I am, how are you, and what have you been doing this fine evening?

The
yunka
man followed Sumac to us. He sat down next to me. Ignoring Ucho much as the bird had, he said, “The Handsome Rainbow and I have enjoyed each other's company today.”

“I wondered where my feathered friend had been.”

“He found me early this morning. It has been a good day we have had together.”

Sumac bobbed his head and squawked his general happiness, then fluttered to the ground and began eating the food from my dish. Of course he began with the steaming pile of corn. I slid back slightly, not wanting his usual messes to land on my beautiful dress.

I could hear the drums pounding more loudly, speaking quite clearly to me. Dance! They screamed. Dance! Dance!

“I told my sister I would join her,” I said, and Ucho, Sumac, and the
yunka
man all nodded as I rose to find Chasca.

I sighted her easily enough, dancing next to one of the many drummers. The drummer's hair was a black blur as he beat on the instrument. His entire being moved with the intricate rhythms he pounded with his hands. I watched, entranced, and my body began to bob up and down in time with his movements. I started to sway, and soon enough I was turning round and round, just as I had seen Chasca do so many times, just as she was doing right now, her smile a beautiful offering to the sky above. I used to watch my sister with deep envy as she danced with such abandon. Now I would join her.

I held my hands up to the sky. The stars blurred as I twirled faster and faster, gazing upward as I spun, and they smiled back down at me in happiness. Such freedom, to dance! Why had I never done this before? My braids lightly slapped my cheeks each time I slowed or sped up. My heart beat wildly, as if it were the only thing that existed. It drowned out the sound of the drums. It
became
the drums as it pounded its own pulsing rhythms into the night.

Time ceased to have meaning. I could have danced forever. It felt as if I had. But then Ocllo was before me, holding a golden bowl.

“The Villac Uma has sent this sacred drink for you, Marked Girl,” she said. “It is to prepare you for the ceremony and your journey to Beyond.”

Already it was time for the sacred drink? My stomach flipped and flopped in fear.

She handed the bowl to me. It was filled to the brim with a strong-smelling liquid. She said, “It is a mixture of aca and
koka
and other sacred plants. Drinking it will begin your journey as a shaman priestess.”

I held the bowl to my lips and tasted a small drop. It was not pleasant, but I could feel its sacred power. I took several gulps.

“Slowly,” Ocllo said.

I nodded. I would drink it with reverence.

Ocllo watched as I took sip after sip of the mixture. I didn't grimace, though it was increasingly strong in its flavor. But a curious thing began to happen as I neared the bottom of the bowl. The taste was not so objectionable. My senses switched, and the sound of the drums became the taste of the drink. The light of the fires jumped and danced, and the people sitting around the storytellers were boulders rising from the earth. The stars giggled in the sky, and I joined them. Oh, we had such a good laugh!

I vaguely felt Ocllo pushing the bowl to my lips, and I finished the rest of the drink.

The Villac Uma appeared as if from nowhere. “Marked Girl,” he whispered in a voice that seemed almost too slow and deep for me to understand, “it is time for the ceremony.”

I walked carefully, concentrating on each step so as not to fall, the head priest guiding me with his steady hands. The people looked at me, but their faces were a blur. I smiled, hoping they could see how happy I was, how honored.

There was the white rock with the golden ropes tied tightly to it in order to capture the sun and hold him firmly to the world. The priest leaned in closer yet to me. His breath smelled of aca, and shadows from the fire moved on his face in quick rising-and-falling motions, so it seemed as though Inti were waking and setting on the holy man's face over and over again. His dark eyes reflected the hypnotic, dancing flames.

The people pressed in all about us. Their energy pulsed through me in overwhelming waves as they moved their hands and bodies in excitement. I tried to distinguish among the faces. They were so close, then far away, then close again. Was that Ucho I saw right in front of me? Was that my sister next to him? No, it was an old lady. Her mouth was moving in prayer as she kissed her fingers and pointed at me and then at the sky. And yes, my sister was there too, next to the old lady. Their bodies were so close, their forms blurred. Chasca's face spoke of great pride. I tried to smile at her, but I wasn't certain my mouth was mine to control any longer.

Behind the white rock, I spotted a carved stone jaguar. It hissed near the fires and wouldn't stop looking at me. The Villac Uma's lips were moving, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. He placed one of the golden ropes into my hands. I knew what I was to do. It was my sacred duty to help the head priest pull the Sun God back to the world.

The rope was thick in my hands, and I could feel the holy prayers that it held. With all the energy and love I could offer from my being, I pulled alongside the head priest, pleading for Inti to rise and join us in another year.

Inti's first beams shone brightly and abruptly, striking the very center of the stone jaguar's eye and giving him a fiery fierceness. The Villac Uma dropped the rope to the ground, and I followed his gesture. He raised his hands high and proclaimed, “Praise Inti! The Sun God has returned to us once more!” I lifted my arms to the sky in praise and prayer, as did all the people. The entire world was a blur of light and warmth. The earth below looked so beautiful, so loving and comfortable.

As Inti's rays showed strong and true, the power of the sacred drink overcame me. I fell to the ground in exhaustion, and the earth received me with an embrace. And here a very strange thing happened. I floated above myself. Not high in the sky world, as I had when I'd joined Sumac in flight, but closer to the earth and to my body. I watched in confusion as the people stopped their prayers and looked at my crumpled form in hushed fear. Chasca screeched and ran to me, placing her hands on my face and shoulders, shaking me and yelling my name. All of this I saw from above.

The Villac Uma stood next to my fallen self. He gazed from my body to the people. “The Marked Girl is fine,” he announced. “She has gone on a sacred journey to Beyond. She is as the wind, able to travel to all times and places. She will return when her journey is complete.”

Chasca was crying onto my cheeks, but I felt none of her tears on my skin. At the head priest's words, she looked up. “She isn't dead?”

The Villac Uma shook his head solemnly. “No, she is not. Bring her to the Acllahuasi and make her comfortable. She will return to her body in good time.” Here the mighty shaman paused. His dark eyes narrowed as he turned his gaze to me—not to my body, but to the me that hovered above the ground, and he offered a subtle smile. “Although before one returns, one must first journey,” he went on. “Strange, to be able to travel anywhere, anytime, and to choose to remain still.”

I waited only until I saw that Chasca and Ocllo had carried my body safely to the Acllahuasi. They moved me tenderly, as they would a sacred mummy, and placed me on a heap of luxurious weavings in a private room. My body self was safe. I was free to journey as the wind. Come and see where I went and what I saw in Beyond.

25

I
MAGINE
you are as one with the world, with all times, all places. Where would you go? When would you go? Listen and I will tell you of all the wonderful places and times I see in Beyond as the ever-blowing, ever-moving wind.

First I travel to my future. As the wind, I watch myself journey to Cuzco with the Villac Uma to study the ways of the shaman. He teaches me the language of the stars and the
koka
leaves and the secrets of Beyond. I wipe away the many tears of the people. I speak with Inti and Illapa on their behalf and there is much, much rain for the earth. The Paqo, my old teacher, is there as well. He is a powerful priest who has returned to the capital city and is treated with the utmost honor and respect for having found the Marked Girl. With the Villac Uma and the Paqo as my guides and companions, I become a third power in the Incan empire. The people know my name, and I grow to become the Marked Woman. I see the people kiss their fingertips and bow in reverence as I walk by. It is a future full of hard work and dedication, but it is a good future, a good life, that I see.

Now I see the future of my family. Ucho travels home and tells the people of what happened to me at Sacred Sun City. Mama cries when she is told I won't be returning, but she is smiling with pride as the tears flow down her cheeks. Hatun is home now, and his presence helps to heal Mama's sadness over my absence. My brother marries and has three daughters. The eldest is named Micay. I smile to see Mama playing with her lovely granddaughters. She takes each one of them to my
huaca
for special time alone.

Here is my beautiful sister Chasca's life. She is married to a handsome nobleman, just as she had hoped. There is love in this marriage, and her eyes sparkle with happiness.

I travel to the time of the rains. They fall in abundance, and the people dance and sing praises to the Marked Girl who spoke with the spirit world on their behalf and brought a time of abundance. I visit with the corn kernels planted deep within Pachamama's body as they eagerly stretch out their first roots. I watch as the people feast on the plentiful crops and go to sleep at night with full bellies and minds free of worry.

As the wind, I visit my animal friends. The Mother Jaguar welcomes me to her cave home, and I play with her children. They remember me and are happy I have come to visit. I join Sumac in flight. The Handsome One seems to know I am there with him and calls out in delight. It is just as wonderful as when I was a young girl and visited Beyond for the first time.

I journey backwards and watch myself living the early days of my life. There is Beautiful Round Face, me as a young girl, sitting on Mama's lap giggling. Mama kisses and kisses and kisses me as I offer her a smile as bright as Inti rising in the morning.