The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus (18 page)

You can start with one of these techniques and then try them all out to see what she likes. When you find something that makes her moan, groan, and push her butt in your face, stay with it for a few minutes. Gradually, work your tongue into a rhythm with a short, firm lick. Continue the beat for a while: this should get her pretty aroused. If you decide you want to go a step further, begin darting your tongue in as you lick, graduating to what’s called “tongue-fucking.” Moan your appreciation and see how she responds—moaning vibrates your tongue like a vibrator.

A woman with lower back pain or mobility issues can simulate the doggie position by lying on her stomach with pillows under her hips, comfortably raising her butt for optimal licking. Having her lie stomach-up with pillows under her butt is also an option, though you have to spread her legs quite wide for access—try putting her knees to her chest and have her hold her legs under the knees. Lying on her back with legs spread wide and pillows under her knees can also help ease strain. Lying sideways might be comfortable, too; she’ll want to put a pillow between her legs for her lower back, and the pillow will also serve to keep her legs slightly spread—though she may eventually end up more on her stomach or her back as you push your face into her.

Cleanliness is the number one concern for rimmers and rim-ees alike. Taking a nice long shower or bath beforehand is always recommended, and you can bathe together to make it part of the seduction. If your partner is reluctant because of cleanliness issues, begin rimming in the shower, where you’ll both make everything squeaky clean. Women who are comfortable with enemas can take one before showering and know they’re clean from the inside-out (though you should still be cautious about spreading bacteria from anus to vagina).

As long as it’s clean, the anus doesn’t taste bad at all—it’s a little musky, something a little similar to a vagina but not as strong. Women who enjoy rimming, in my experience, tend to REALLY enjoy it—possibly because not everyone is willing to go there!

Though rimming is certainly enjoyable, it isn’t a very safe activity. Unprotected, it can transmit hepatitis A, anal herpes, anal warts, and possibly viruses such as HIV. Always use a barrier for rimming—but if you insist on barrier-free rimming, get a hepatitis A shot. If one of you has a viral STD, such as herpes, HPV, hepatitis C, or HIV, safer-sex practices are necessary—required—to prevent transmission, especially if you have a cut or bite in your mouth. The risk is greatly increased for both partners if you have recently brushed or flossed your teeth; both activities cause tiny cuts and bleeding in your mouth.

For barriers, use dental dams, plastic wrap, or cut-open condoms, and incorporate the use of gloves and finger cots liberally. See chapter 4, “Health Considerations,” for detailed information on barriers.

Flavored lubricants are an option for people who want to try rimming but shudder at the notion of tasting their lover’s natural flavors. However, they come with several caveats. Flavored lubes taste awful, even the lime, kiwi, or piña colada versions. They’re packed with sugar and are not an option for diabetics or people who don’t tolerate the effects of sugar very well. And you want to be sure not to let these lubes drip onto her pussy, because the sugars will stir up a yeast infection if she is even slightly prone to them. But they do their job somewhat well, transforming the eager anus into an artificially-raspberry-smelling orifice; just be sure to never, ever purchase lubes that advertise “anal ease.” These lubes contain numbing agents, such as benzocaine, which diminish sensation and will leave you with a numb tongue. They’re manufactured by an industry that believes anal penetration of any kind is painful, when in reality, it isn’t painful if you do it right. If it hurts, then something’s wrong, and you don’t want to mask important signals the body might be trying to send. Besides, who wants a numb butt?

When we pretend she’s forcing me to rim her, I lose it. I can come that way barely even touching myself.

Anal Penetration

Cunnilingus affords a perfect vantage point for bringing anal play into the picture—we’re already there, all rosy cheeks and smiles. Anal penetration isn’t for everyone, so be sure to cover the topic with her before you start lavishing your affections on, and inserting your fingers in, her butt. So, how do you add anal penetration to oral sex and make it pleasurable? Follow the three golden rules: go very slowly, listen to the person you’re penetrating, and use lots of lube.

Always introduce anal stimulation when you know she’s aroused; otherwise, it may provide too much stimulation before she’s ready. With the flat of your finger, or fingers, press lightly on the opening, and hold your finger there. Increase your pressure a little, massaging and pressing in circular motions. Go very slowly, and listen to her cues or instructions—for some, simply having their anus touched is all it takes to push them over the edge. Use plenty of lubrication. Don’t rely on saliva at all—although in porn films they make it look like that’s enough, in reality they have used anal suppositories and numerous applications of lube. Use a thick, water-based lubricant.

Move your flattened fingers in a circular motion, and begin experimenting with penetration by pressing one well-lubed finger at the base of the opening (toward her tailbone). Make sure that you took extra care beforehand to clip your fingernails down and file them totally smooth, or use a latex glove or finger cot to make your finger a perfectly smooth surface. Massage the opening’s base, and ask her if she wants you to go farther. Slowly slide your finger in up to the first joint (about an inch), and hold it there for a few breaths. You’ll feel the ring of muscles around her opening squeeze and contract—just stay still as they relax.

When you feel the muscles relax, slide your finger in slowly a little bit more, and back out, doing a gentle in and out, not all the way in yet. Once again, this may be all it takes for her to come, or to decide that it’s not what she wants right now. If she does like it, you can follow her directions and body language from here to progress to more stimulation. You can go deeper and faster, or even add more fingers—but the rule of thumb is to do everything so slowly that you can practically feel the seasons changing around you. Anal penetration hurts when you go too fast, you don’t use enough lube, the recipient isn’t relaxed, or she doesn’t really want to be doing it.

If she desires, spice things up by penetrating her simultaneously in her anus and vagina. This works best with your index (pointing) finger in her butt and your thumb in her vagina. If you want to be spontaneous and go from anus to vagina, or anus to anywhere, wear two gloves on one hand, and pull one off when you switch activities.

Once she’s anally warmed up and ready for more penetration, you can bring anal sex toys into the picture. Sex toys used for anal penetration must have a flared base, meaning a base that prevents them from being pulled into the anal canal, where they can get lost—a nightmare waiting to happen. The sphincter muscles have minds of their own and like to squeeze and contract at will; we cannot control them. This serves to push and pull things in and out of the anus, and once something gets pulled in, there’s no guarantee you’re going to get it out without a trip to the hospital—which is what you’d have to do to prevent serous injury if, say, a hot, battery-powered vibrator went AWOL. Take a look at a standard butt plug and you’ll see exactly what a flared base should look like. Buy toys that are safe for anal use, and don’t get cute with carrots.

Vibrators can feel fantastic on the ass during cunnilingus, and you can tease and penetrate while you lick. Squirt liberal amounts of lube on any toy you use, and reapply frequently. You also can fuck the daylights out of her anally with a dildo she likes. Or, insert a butt plug and keep it in place while you lick and bring her to orgasm; just don’t leave it in for extended periods or it will get downright uncomfortable. Chances are good that her PC muscles will squeeze the plug out before she orgasms; you can hold it in place with your hand. It can also get forced out during orgasm, which is an okay way to remove it. But if it’s big and stays in place, after she comes ask her to take a few deep breaths and let her know you are going to remove the plug on an exhale—then remove it on the second or third exhale.

Extreme Sports

One of the things we humans like to do is up the ante—whether it’s in gambling, love, pain, or pleasure. The edges of sexual expression traffic in the question of more as a rule, and this is where we’ll find some curious, intense, and deeply pleasurable ways to turn up the volume in our cunnilingus encounters.

Clit Pumping

Clit pumping is a technique employed to enlarge the clitoris gradually with gentle suction, thus creating an engorged and highly sensitive organ that contains a lot more surface area for your mouth to explore. Actually, the term
clit pumping
is a misnomer: when swollen, the glans clitoris retreats and flattens against the pubic bone, while the hood of the clit is what’s pumped into plumpness.

Pumps that can be used for clits are available on the sex toy market in ever-increasing numbers. Some toy manufacturers make small pumps marketed specifically for clitoral use, though you can also use pumps made for nipples. These smaller pumps come in two basic styles: a hard plastic cylinder with a detachable hose, a pressure-release valve, and a squeeze bulb (usually sold separately); or an all-in-one unit with a hard plastic cylinder (or flexible rubber cup), hose, and squeeze bulb. Not all of the all-in-one units have a valve, and these toys sometimes come in fruity colors or have vibrators attached.

Clit pumping for pleasure is simple and can be a lot of fun. It helps to have a smooth, hairless surface around her clit if you have a cylinder larger than the area just around the base of the clit, and an oil-based lube is recommended to help create an airtight seal. Just be sure that you don’t use oil if you’ll use latex dams or condoms later, and because you’re pumping for cunnilingual enhancement, use an unflavored oil such as sweet almond or olive.

Place the pump on her clit so the seal settles around the base. Twist the valve closed, and give a gentle squeeze. The air in the pump is pulled out, creating a pulling sensation and bringing blood rushing to her clit. Wait for a minute, and see how she likes the sensation. Squeeze again, and wait. Her clit should look bigger now, and her pussy might be starting to throb pleasurably. However, not all women like the way pumps feel, and you should stop if she feels discomfort or pain at any time. Give a third squeeze, and stop for a few minutes. Now is a terrific time to lick her pussy, all over and around the pump that’s attached to her clit. You can leave the pump on safely for up to five to ten minutes, but never leave a pump on any body part for more longer than that, or you could break capillaries and damage nerve endings (somewhat like what happens with a hickey, but not as cute). And don’t overdo: two or three times in an evening is enough stress on delicate tissues.

When the pump comes off, she’ll feel a rush of sensation to her clit, and it will be very sensitive to everything—a gentle breeze, your lips, your tongue. Play around with her heightened state, and have fun.

Water Sports

Water sports aren’t just for posh resorts. In sex terminology,
water sports
is the catch-all phrase for any activity that involves urination. If you’re offended or disgusted, skip to the hot story at the end of this chapter, but if you’re curious, read on.

Peeing on someone during sex play can be done in a number of contexts: a dominant/submissive scenario, an exploration of kink, a desire for unusual sensation, or a fetish. Enhancing a cunnilingus experience with water sports might involve the oral sex recipient releasing a stream before or after you go down on her, or while you are licking her. Some women enjoy the sensation of peeing when aroused or close to orgasm; for others it’s difficult to relax or potentially embarrassing—two cases in which a dominant partner can have some fun. Needless to say, this is a practice only for fluid-bonded partners.

You can order her to pee immediately, or have her pee and stop on command. Or if you simply want your face bathed, you can do that, too. If you’re comfortable with it, she can urinate into your mouth while you lick as part of her—or your—submissiveness. While drinking urine won’t make you ill, it’s not recommended that you drink it—it is waste liquid and so not really a healthful drink. But licking her clean after a pee is just fine, even quite sexy, and some partners may express delight at having a “job” to do.

The Party

BY ALISON TYLER

Carrie put her hand on my arm as she made her way through the party. Just that light touch, almost a tickle, made me turn and watch her move through the crowd. And in that second, I wanted more.

Yes, we’d met several times in the past. We’d been at the same cook-outs, the same outdoor concerts, the same beach parties, each of us knowing different friends within the core group. But now, I wanted to learn more about her, and it was all because of that single, whisper-soft touch. Trying not to look like a stalker, I followed her through the room. She sensed my presence, and my interest, immediately, looking over her shoulder at me. Winking and then nodding her sweetly sharp chin upward.

I raised my eyebrows at her. What exactly did “up” mean?