The Universe Twister (55 page)

Lafayette chuckled. "Sisli, anyone who's sat through a concert of the Royal Artesian Philharmonic isn't afraid of any mere choral group." Lafayette sat up, felt a sharp pain in the small of his back—a pain that seemed to originate from a point in midair, two feet above and to the left of his shoulder blade. He twisted his head, saw a bale of white bandages from which rather bedraggled russet feathers protruded.

"What—are
you
still here?"

"Who?" Sisli said in alarm. "Tazlo, you're not seeing invisible enemies, are you?"

"I'm talking about these infernal wings," Lafayette said. "I dreamed I flew through the air with the greatest of ease—until I crash-landed in a treetop. Then there was something about being attacked by meat-eating pigeons—and then a birdman arrived, and . . . and that's all I remember." He rubbed his head. "Funny—by now I should be waking up and having a good laugh about the whole thing . . ."

"Tazlo—you
are
awake! Can't you tell? You're here—in Thallathlone, with me!"

"And before the flying sequence," Lafayette went on, frowning in deep thought, "there was the business of being marooned on a mountaintop. A pretty obvious symbolism, reflecting my feeling of isolation with my problem. You see, I'd found this Focal Referent—some kind of probability gadget, I think, stolen from Central—and I was having a terrible time trying to get word to the authorities—"

"Tazlo—forget all that! It was just a nightmare! Now you're awake! You're going to be fine—just as soon as your wing heals!"

"I find that if you run over a dream in your mind as soon as you wake up, you can fix it in your conscious memory. Now, let's see: there was the man in the cave—
that
was spooky! He was under an enchantment, I suppose—except that the logical part of my mind cooked up something called a Stasis Pod to rationalize things. He represents Wisdom, I suppose—but the way he attacked me suggests that I must have a suppressed fear of knowledge."

"Tazlo—why don't we step outside and get a little sunlight, maybe that will dispel these morbid fancies—"

"Just a minute; this is pretty interesting. I never knew you could psychoanalyze yourself just by dissecting your dreams. I always thought I approved of Science—but apparently it's a secret bugaboo of mine. Now, let's see—there was a little old man, too—a cherubic type, he found me after I fell over the cliff, and brought me home and gave me a marvelous breakfast." Lafayette smiled at the recollection. "At the time it didn't even seem strange that someone living in a grass hut would have a refrigerator full of gourmet items—"

"Are you hungry, Tazlo? I have a lovely big boolfruit, just picked."

"Sure, why not?" Lafayette grinned indulgently at the girl. "I may as well sample everything this dream provides—including you . . ." He caught her hand, pulled her to him, kissed her warmly on the mouth.

"Tazlo!" She stared into his eyes with a look of amazed delight. At close range he could see the velvety-smooth texture of her cheek, the long lashes that adorned her pale-green eyes, the downy feathers that curled on her smooth forehead . . . "You mean—you really mean—"

"Mean what?" Lafayette said absently, noting for the first time the graceful white pinions which enfolded Sisli like a glistening feather cloak.

"That—you want to marry me!"

"Wait a minute," Lafayette said, smiling. "Where did you get that idea?"

"Why, you . . . you kissed me, didn't you?"

"Well, certainly, who wouldn't? But—"

"Oh, Tazlo—this is the most wonderful moment of my life! I must tell Father at once!" She jumped up, a slim, elfin creature aglow with happiness.

"Wait a minute—let's not bring anyone else into this dream. I like it just the way it is!"

"Father will be so happy! He's always hoped for this day! Good-bye for a moment, my dearest—I'll be right back!" Sisli turned, was gone. Lafayette tottered to his feet, grunted at a pang from his bandaged wing, stumbled after her—and slammed into a solid wall.

He backed off, groped over the rough-hewn wood surface, looking for the door through which Sisli had left.

"It's got to be here," he muttered. "I saw her with my own eyes—or at least with the eyes I happen to be using at the moment . . ." But five minutes' search disclosed no opening whatever in the seamless walls.

"My boy!" a whistling nasal voice exclaimed behind him; he whirled; a gnarled, wizened ancient stood in the center of the room, his face beaming in a toothless smile. "My little girl has just given me the happy tidings! Congratulations! I give my consent, of course, dear lad! Come to my arms!" The old boy rushed forward to embrace Lafayette, who stared in bewilderment over the old fellow's featherless skull at a pair of muscular youths who had appeared silently and stood with folded arms and expressions of slightly bored indulgence, flanking Sisli Pim.

"Father says we can have the ceremony this very evening, Tazlo!" she cried. "Isn't that marvelous?"

"Things are going too fast," Lafayette said. "You're leaping to conclusions," he paused, noting the sudden hostility in the expressions of the two young fellows—probably her brothers, O'Leary decided.

"About what?" one of them demanded.

"I mean—I'm very fond of Sisli, of course—but—"

"But what?" the other youth snapped.

"But I can't—I mean—well, confound it, I can't marry her—or anyone else!"

"Eh? What's this?" the oldster chirped, rearing back to gaze up at Lafayette with eyes as sharp as talons. "Can't marry my daughter?" Sisli Pim uttered a wailing cry. The two brothers stepped forward threateningly.

"What I mean is—I'm not eligible!" Lafayette blurted, backing a step.

"Not eligible—how?" the old man inquired, his gaze impaling O'Leary.

"You own the requisite number of acorns, right?" one of the young men demanded.

"And you have an adequate nest, right?" the other pressed.

"And you
did
kiss her," the first pointed out.

"And she didn't knife you," said his companion. "Which means she accepts you, right?"

"So what could possibly stand in your way?" the old man crowed, as if the problem were solved.

"It's just that . . . that . . ."

"Tazlo—you haven't . . . haven't . . . you didn't—"

"You don't mean, I suppose, that you've contracted an understanding with some other maid of Thallathlone?" the larger brother asked in an ominous tone.

"Certainly not! But I can't ask Sisli Pim to marry me," Lafayette said flatly. "I'm sorry I kissed her. I didn't mean it."

There was a sudden movement, a whistle of steel on leather, and a knife was poking Lafayette's throat, gripped in the hard, brown fist of the smaller of the brothers.

"Sorry you kissed my sister, eh?" he hissed.

"No—as a matter of fact I'm
not
sorry," Lafayette snapped, and stamped down hard on the knife-wielder's instep, at the same time chopping outward at the offending wrist, while ramming a fist into the youth's ribs. The lad doubled over, coughing and hopping on one foot.

"As a matter of fact I enjoyed it a lot," O'Leary said defiantly. "But the fact is, I never saw Sisli in my life before ten minutes ago. How can you want her to marry a stranger?"

"Never saw—" the old man quavered, waving back the other brother. "What can you mean? You were raised together! You've seen each other almost daily for the past twenty-one years!"

"Father—I think I understand," Sisli cried, thrusting herself between Lafayette and her male relatives. "Poor Tazlo feels it wouldn't be fair to marry me, in his condition!"

"Condition? What condition?" Father said querulously.

"In the fall—when he broke his wing—he suffered a blow on the head, and he's lost his memory!"

"A likely tale," the elder brother growled.

"How did he happen . . . unh . . . to fall in the first place?" the younger brother grunted, massaging his stomach, wrist and shin simultaneously.

"Yes—how did you happen to fall, Tazlo—you of all people?" the old man asked. "An expert wingsman like you."

"It's a long story," Lafayette said shortly. "You wouldn't understand—"

"Please—how can he tell you?" Sisli protested. "He remembers nothing."

"He remembered how to kiss unsuspecting young females," the younger brother growled.

"Look, fellows—why don't you just forget that? It was a mistake, I admit it. I'm sorry if I caused any misunderstanding—"

"Misunderstanding? This silly goose came rushing up to us, blurted out the glad tidings where half the eyrie heard her! We'll all be a laughingstock—especially if we go off and leave you here in her chamber, unchaperoned!"

"Well, then, I'll go elsewhere. I'm not looking for trouble. Just direct me to the nearest telephone—"

"Nearest what?" three voices chimed as one.

"Well, telegraph station, then. Or police station. Or bus station. I have to get a message through—"

"What's he talking about?"

"He must be raving."

"I think Wizner Hiz ought to know about this."

"No! Tazlo hasn't done anything!" Sisli spoke up. "He'll be fine—just as soon as you go away and leave us alone!"

"Not likely," Younger Brother said grimly. "You come with us, girl—and I'll see to it Haz is moved to a bachelor nest—"

"He needs me! Now get out—both of you—and Father, if you side with them—"

"I never take sides," the old man said quickly. "Calmly, my child. We'll take the matter under advisement. Something will have to be done. In the meantime—suppose we simply keep the entire matter, ah, confidential, eh? No need to give sharp tongues fodder to gnaw on."

"Then you'll have to leave Tazlo here," Sisli said flatly. "If he leaves, everyone will know that . . . that something's amiss."

"Bah, the chit is right," Younger Brother said.

"Tazlo—hadn't you best lie down?" Sisli said, taking Lafayette's hand.

"I'm fine," Lafayette said. "But they're right. I can't stay here." He turned to the three male members of the family—except for himself and Sisli, the room was empty.

"Where did they go?"

"Umm." Sisli looked thoughtful. "Father's hurrying along to his uncle Timro's perch, probably to discuss the situation over a cup or two of bool cider; and Vugli and Hinky are standing about twenty feet away, talking. I don't think they're too well pleased. But you know that as well as I, Tazlo."

"How did they get out?"

"They just . . . went, of course. What do you mean?"

"I looked for a . . . door," Lafayette stumbled over the word. "I can't find one."

"What's a
door
, Tazlo?"

"You know: the part of the wall that moves—swings out, or slides sideways. I can't seem to think of the word for it in Thallathlonian."

Sisli looked interested. "What's it for, Tazlo? Just decoration, I suppose—"

"It's to get in and out by. You know. A
door!
"

"Tazlo—you don't need a
dooor
—whatever that is—to go out. I think that bump on your head—"

"All right then: how do you go out without a door?"

"Why—like this . . ." Sisli turned to the wall, and stepped to it—
through
it. Lafayette saw her advancing foot sink into the solid wood, followed by her body, the tips of her trailing wings disappearing last, leaving the wall as unbroken as before. He jumped after her, ran his hands over the grainy wood. It was solid, slightly warm to touch—

Sisli reappeared just under his chin, bumped him lightly as he jumped back. She laughed, rather uncertainly.

"How—how in the world did you do that?" he gasped.

"Tazlo—you
are
just playing a game, aren't you—"

"Game? The game of going out of my mind—" Lafayette caught himself, drew a breath, managed a shaky laugh of his own.

"I keep forgetting. I'd just about decided this was all real instead of a dream. Then you walk through a wall and spoil the illusion. But it's really time I woke up." He slapped his cheeks lightly. "Come on, O'Leary—wake up! Wake up!"

"Tazlo!" Sisli caught his wrists. "Please—stop acting like one who's lost his wits! If Wizner Hiz should see you—terrible things would happen!"

"I've always had this trouble with too-vivid dreams," Lafayette said. "And it's been worse since I read all those books on mesmerism and hypnogogia. If Central didn't have a Suppressor focused on me, I'd be tempted to think I'd been transferred into another probability continuum—"

"Please, Tazlo," Sisli wailed. "Why don't you lie down and have another nice nap—"

"That's just the trouble, Sisli: I'm asleep now, and dreaming you. I have to wake up and get busy saving the kingdom—"

"Save what kingdom? Thallathlone isn't a kingdom—it's a limited mythocracy!"

"I'm talking about Artesia. It's a bit old-fashioned in some ways, but all in all a very nice place. I used to be a king there—at least I was for a few days, until I could abdicate in favor of Princess Adoranne. That was after I killed Lod, the two-headed giant, and his pet dragon. It wasn't really a dragon, of course, just an allosaurus Goruble had transferred in from a primitive locus—and—"

"Tazlo—lie down, just close your eyes and all these wild fancies will evaporate!"

"They're not wild fancies.
This
is the wild fancy. Don't you see how ridiculous it all is? People with wings, who walk through walls? Typical dream-images, probably reflecting a subconscious wish on my part to be freed of all restraints—"

"Tazlo—
think!
Of course we have wings! Otherwise how could we fly? And of course we walk through walls; how else would we get outside?"

"That's just it—it has all the illogical internal logic of a well-organized dream."

"All that talk about giants and dragons—
that's
the fantasy, Tazlo—don't you see that? They're symbols of the obstacles you feel you have to overcome; and that bit about being a king—a transparent wish-fulfillment. By imagining you abdicated, you have all the prestige of royalty without the responsibilities."

"Say—you know the jargon pretty well yourself. But I suppose that's to be expected, if you're a creation of my subconscious."

Sisli stamped her foot. "
Your
subconscious! Tazlo Haz, I'll have you know that I'm a real, live, three-D, living-color female, and your subconscious has nothing to do with it!" She threw her arms around Lafayette's neck, kissed him long and warmly.