The Zombie Combat Manual
Read The Zombie Combat Manual Online
Authors: Roger Ma
Table of Contents
I. - DISINFORMATION AND MISCONCEPTIONS
III. - CONDITIONING AND PREPARATION
V. - COMBAT STRATEGIES AND TECHNIQUES
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This book is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
Copyright © 2010 by Roger Ma.
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PRINTING HISTORY
Berkley trade paperback edition / April 2010
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Ma, Roger.
The zombie combat manual / Roger Ma.—Berkley trade paperback ed. p. cm.
eISBN : 978-1-101-18665-7
1. Zombies—Humor. I. Title.
PN6231.Z65M3 2010
818’.607—dc22
2009043934
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To Zoe and Logan, forever under my protection.
To Mom, for her strength and discipline.
To Dad, for that fateful day in 1978.
INTRODUCTION
The first hand-to-hand zombie attack Isaw lasted six seconds. The confrontation took place in Brooklyn, New York, during the Gravesend Riots. From the safety of the police barricades, I witnessed a man swagger down the middle of the street. He was muscular, probably in his midtwenties, and wore a white sleevel ess undershirt; wiry strands of chest hair corkscrewed through the thin fabric. He brandished an aluminum baseball bat that was slung casually over his right shoulder. With a smirk on his face, he headed directly toward a ghoul shambling down the same street, her green housecoat streaked in crims on. The man reared back and swung. The curlers in her hair ricocheted in all directions from the impact of his blow, which rang off the top of her skull. I was close enough to see his eyes widen in disbelief when she didn’t go down. Disbelief turned to terror when his second, panicked swing wildly struck the side of her neck as she closed the distance between them. His third and final strike landed harmlessly across her back, as she raked her manicured fingernails across his thick biceps. His screams twisted into high-pitched squeals when she tore out his throat with her teeth.
Unfortunately, this was not the last time I witnessed an attack where an individual with seemingly all the requisite skills to survive perished unnecessarily. In the hundreds of assaults I have seen or recorded from eyewitness accounts since that night in Brooklyn, I have noted that many of the victims held distinct similarities. Most of them had the strength, the means, and the tools. What they lacked was the knowledge. For far too long, many have made light of eliminating the undead, with tragic consequences.
This work seeks to accomplish a singular goal: to provide the scientific, technical, and combative knowledge to enable you to destroy a zombie in your immediate vicinity, perhaps seconds from ending your life and that of your loved ones. There will be no discussion of fortifications, firearms, supply rationing, or modes of transport, nor will we examine the origin and spread of the contagion that has caused the dead to reanimate and feed on the living. Other noteworthy works cover these subjects in great detail. The focus of this text is simple: to develop you into an effective warrior against the living dead. This book is not meant for the trained soldier or martial artist with years of experience, although they can certainly benefit from the information. It was written for you, the everyday civilian with no prior knowledge or skill in the combat arts.
The knowledge provided herein, however, should not be construed as either endorsement or encouragement to engage in unnecessary hand-to-hand combat with the undead. The safest method to defeat a zombie still remains to destroy its brain via a long-distance ballistic weapon, such as a firearm or crossbow. The fact is, however, that during a zombie outbreak, there is nearly a 100 percent chance you will have to engage in hand-to-hand combat. Perhaps you reside in a state where possession of a firearm is a legally difficult process. Perhaps you have run out of ammunition. Perhaps the sound of a discharged firearm will draw more walking corpses to your position. For those times when the only path to safety lies in the strength in your arms and the weapon in your hand, the knowledge in this book will prove most useful.
If you are reading this manual because you find yourself in the midst of an undead infestation and/or imminent attack, then heed these words carefully. The information contained within can be put to immediate use. If you are reading this during a time of relative peace and safety, good for you. You have taken the first step in obeying one of the oldest tenets of combat: “In times of peace, prepare for war.” Learn the lessons in this manual well; it is my hope you will never have to use them.
CAUTION!
The methods and techniques described within this manual are meant solely for human-versus-zombie combat. Under no circumstances should they be used or attempted against other living human beings. Such action would be not only illegal and immoral, but ineffective, as the techniques take advantage of traits, behaviors, and anatomical vulnerabilities exhibited only by the living dead.
I.
DISINFORMATION AND MISCONCEPTIONS
. . . et resedit qui erat mortuus, et coepit esurire.
—ORIGIN UNKNOWN
They are known to us by many names—Hell’s minions, walking plague, the living dead. Despite the varying nomenclature, they all fall under the same scientific subspecies category, commonly known as the zombie. In case any confusion exists, let us take this moment to clarify—a zombie is a former human being that has become deceased and reanimated, and now seeks to devour the flesh of existing humans. Much has been written, fantasized, and manipulated regarding the zombie, so before delving into the specifics of undead physiology, it is important that we first dispel many popular, yet inaccurate, notions that exist about this unique adversary. Many of these misconceptions have led to the deaths of those who, believing them to be reality, met their unfortunate end. The source of these inaccuracies varies. Some believe their spread was due to an orchestrated campaign of disinformation by the powers that be to intentionally confuse and mislead the general public. Others believe that major news sources are responsible for spreading unsubstantiated reports of “living dead attacks” to mask outbreaks of public dissent.
Whether they were spread by media, myth, or word of mouth, how these inaccuracies developed into publicly believed truths is not important. What is important is that the spread of this disinformation ends with the following clarifications.