The Vampire Blog
Authors: Pete Johnson
PETE JOHNSON
CORGI BOOKS
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Version 1.0
Epub ISBN 9781407076270
THE VAMPIRE BLOG
A CORGI YEARLING BOOK 978 0 440 86935 1
Published in Great Britain by Corgi Yearling, an imprint of Random House Children's Books A Random House Group Company
This edition published 2010
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Copyright © Pete Johnson, 2010
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To Bill â who knows a lot about vampires!
Â
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Dad piped up, âThe thing is, Marcus, you're special.'
âOh, I'm the best.' I grinned. âAnd I'm so glad you've realized it â at long last.'
âBut a few extra things are going to happen to you, which your friends won't experience,' he continued.
âLike what?' I asked cautiously.
âWell, you will smell quite horrid,' said Mum.
I sniffed my armpits. âAre you saying I stink?' I asked.
âNo, no,' said Mum, âbut you will for a little while, or rather your breath will. And there's nothing you can do to take away the smell.'
âAnd soon,' said Dad, âa white fang will appear in your mouth.'
I gaped at him. âDad, what on earth are you talking about?'
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How many Pete Johnson books have you read?
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Winner of the 2006 Calderdale Children's Book of the Year
(Upper Primary)
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Winner of the 2006 Sheffield Children's Book Award,
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Winner of the 2005 West Sussex Children's Book Award
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Daily Mail
THE GHOST DOG
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âFast-paced and energetic'
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PHANTOM FEAR
Includes:
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EYES OF THE ALIEN
âVery readable with a skilful plot'
Observer
Sunday 30 September
7.15 p.m.
Three things you never want to hear your parents say:
âLet's talk about the facts of life.'
âWe're going to start dancing now.'
âSoon, a white fang will appear in your mouth.'
My parents have just told me that last one. Then they went on to tell me ⦠well, you just wait.
Today is my thirteenth birthday. And for the first time in the history of the world, my parents bought me a present I actually wanted: an iPod Touch. It's got to be my
Christmas present as well. But I don't care. It's brilliant. And it's no bigger than a mobile phone so it can go anywhere with me. Now I can play video games or go on the internet or blog whenever I want.
And I imagined myself keeping such a sensational blog that just about everyone would be going mad to read it. Well, my blog's going to be sensational all right, but no one can ever see it. What I'm about to tell you, blog, is for your eyes only â and must remain hidden behind a secret password for ever.
Strange how your life changes when you're least expecting it. I was just innocently munching my tea tonight when Mum and Dad suddenly stormed in. Mum switched off the telly and she and Dad sat down at the table with me.
âWe want to talk to you, Marcus,' said Dad.
This didn't surprise me. Mum and Dad are always giving me long, boring lectures which really annoy me. That's what I go to school for.
âWe thought,' said Dad, âthis would be a good moment to tell you' â he looked at Mum, who nodded slightly â âabout some of the
wonderful changes that will soon be taking place in your body.'
âGetting tons of acne and my voice going all wobbly, you mean,' I said.
âThere are other changes too,' said Mum softly.
Oh no, here it comes, I thought, the facts of life talk. My toes were curling up with embarrassment already. âNot while I'm eating, Mum, please. You'll put me right off,' I said. âAnd we've done it in biology anyway, so I know all the gory details.' Then I smiled, looked hopefully at the door and said, âHey, Mum and Dad, it's been great hanging out with you both and don't be strangers now. Bye.'
But neither of them budged. Instead, they glanced quickly at each other again. Then Dad piped up, âThe thing is, Marcus, you're special.'
âOh, I'm the best.' I grinned. âAnd I'm so glad you've realized it â at long last.'
âBut a few extra things are going to happen to you which your friends won't experience,' he continued.
âLike what?' I asked cautiously.
âWell, you will smell quite horrid,' said Mum.
I sniffed my armpits. âAre you saying I stink?' I asked.
âNo, no,' said Mum, âbut you will for a little while, or rather your breath will. And there's nothing you can do to take away the smell.'
âAnd soon,' said Dad, âa white fang will appear in your mouth.'
I gaped at him. âDad, what on earth are you talking about?'
But he just rattled on. âNow, the fang will only be there for a day. And it's nothing to worry about, quite natural for someone as special as you.'
Dad looked as if he was about to say a lot more, but then Mum cried, âWell, I think that's enough information for our first little talk.' And she started to get up.
âEr, hold on,' I said. âJust why is a fang coming my way? You'll be telling me next I'm turning into a vampire!'
I rolled around laughing after I'd said that. Well, the atmosphere had got very tense without me quite knowing why. So when in doubt, laugh. Laughing is what life should be
all about. That's what I say anyway. Only I suddenly noticed that Mum and Dad weren't even smiling. And then I spotted little beads of sweat on Dad's forehead.
âHey, you two are really freaking me out tonight, you know,' I cried. âYou've put me right off my food as well, and usually nothing in the world can do that ⦠now, just tell me, what's going on?'
Dad said slowly, âYou're not a vampire.'
âNo, well I never really thought I was,' I said. âThey don't even exist, do they?'
Dad didn't answer this, but then said, very slowly and carefully as if he was translating what he was saying from another language, âYour mother and I are, we're proud to say, half-vampires, well, nearly half â probably about forty per cent vampire. But we call ourselves half-vampires and we believe you are one too.'