The Vampire Blog (8 page)

Because I'm not Ved, for a start. But Marcus or Ved, I can't sit up here listening to my mum crying for another second. She obviously thinks she's helping me. They both do. And that's got to count for something, I suppose. And if you can't trust your parents … Somehow I've got to trust them.

12.30 a.m.

I shuffled downstairs – my legs felt like cotton wool. And Mum rushed over, hugging and kissing me and saying, ‘We only did this tonight because we want the best for you.'

I could have argued this one, but I didn't. Instead, I let Mum and Dad help me onto the couch, after which Mum sped off to make me some tea. There was a slightly awkward
silence then, until I burst out, ‘Well, what do you know, I've got a dad who can turn himself into a bat, and pretty speedily too. How long does it take you?'

‘About twenty seconds.'

‘Wow, is that a world record or anything? Because it should be.'

‘It's a good time,' said Dad modestly. ‘I thought a long time before I gave you that vampire jab,' he went on. ‘I even went off on a little training course—'

‘When you were supposed to be at a conference,' I interrupted.

‘That's right. I wanted to make sure I did it exactly right. And what you've got to believe is that it was done for your safety.'

‘There you go with that safety stuff again,' I said. ‘Can you just explain that?'

Dad hesitated. ‘Let's just say we want this changeover to happen as quickly as possible, for your sake. Now, no more questions tonight.'

‘Well, just one more – will I ever be able to turn into a bat?'

‘Once the changeover is complete you will,' said Mum, coming in with the tea. ‘And one
night the three of us will be able to go flying off together. We're so looking forward to that.'

‘There's nothing more refreshing,' added Dad, ‘than a late-night flit.'

He made it sound so normal – like going off to a football match or something. And I'd kind of like to go for a late-night flit – just for the experience. Well, it'd be great, wouldn't it?

But nothing else about being a half-vampire floats my boat. Not one single thing.

Monday 15 October
7.45 a.m.

First thing I noticed when I woke up was that the itch on my neck had stopped. I scrambled out of bed. My reflection was back inside the mirror again. I looked terrible, with my hair sticking up everywhere. But there was no sign I'd received the vampire jab except for a tiny mark on the left side of my neck. It seemed just like a little mosquito bite; nothing unusual at all.

8.25 a.m.

Downstairs, everything was just as normal
too. In fact, last night seemed as far away as a dream. I sensed Mum and Dad didn't want to talk about it either – not that they're keen to chat about vampire stuff in the daytime anyway. So they just waffled on about what was in the newspaper and what time Dad would be home tonight.

‘Hope you have a peaceful day, love,' said Mum to me. ‘And if anything happens I'll be at home all day,' she went on.

‘What do you mean?' I asked.

‘Stop worrying the boy,' said Dad. ‘He'll be fine.'

‘Yeah, I've had my jab. What can happen to me now?'

Neither Mum nor Dad smiled.

‘Not a word about that at school,' said Dad.

‘Oh, of course not,' I said. ‘No one would believe me anyway.'

12.45 p.m.

Despite what you may have heard, I've never done anything totally disgusting and sick – until now.

It happened out of the blue as well, at the end of morning lessons, when Joel got a
nosebleed. He has these really bad ones too, like little explosions. So he was sent to Matron's cave and, as I'm his best mate, I accompanied him.

Joel had to walk with his head well back as he was getting through about four hankies a second. I was guiding him, saying, ‘Next time have your nosebleeds a bit earlier, will you, as we're only going to miss the last four minutes of lessons, which is nowhere near enough.'

Joel gave a sort of gurgled laugh in reply.

Then we finally rolled up at Matron's. Nearby also lurk the school secretary, the deputy head, and the head himself. That's why it is, without doubt, the gloomiest part of the whole school.

I knocked on Matron's door. It just flew open. This large woman with a squashed nose and an amazing collection of chins glared suspiciously at us. She absolutely hates being disturbed – especially by pupils. ‘Nosebleed,' she snapped at Joel, her eyes bulging disapprovingly at having her day interrupted like this. ‘All right, you in here and you' (meaning me) ‘back to your classroom immediately.' She boomed that last word as the door crashed shut.

It was then I noticed it.

One of Joel's handkerchiefs had fallen to the ground. So I picked it up. It was just sopping with fresh blood. I looked around. No one was about. So then I had the maddest, silliest impulse of my whole life. And I started squeezing the blood into my cupped hand. Then my stomach started to rumble.

In fact, I'd never felt hungrier in my life. It was as if I hadn't eaten for days. That's why, without another thought, I started to slurp up Joel's blood. I ran it about in my mouth for a moment and then I swallowed it down; warm, soft and just bursting with flavours. I've never tasted anything so delicious in my whole life.

Then I remembered Joel had flung his large hankies into the bin outside Matron's office. I quickly scooped them up and then let this lovely fresh blood gush down my throat too.

But it still wasn't enough. I had to have more. More! And who knows where I'd have gone shuffling off to next if the bell hadn't
rung. And that was like an alarm waking me up from a terrible dream.

What was I doing licking up all that blood like a … a VAMPIRE? What I'd just done was SICK, DISGUSTING! I was so angry I put back my head and let out a loud howl. It seemed to happen without me making any effort at all. The howl just ripped through me. And I sounded like a poodle who'd forgotten where he'd buried his dog biscuits and was just furious about it.

So no, I still wasn't very menacing, but I'd certainly acquired some volume. That was by far my loudest howl so far. Although right outside Matron's office and with the headmaster's den just two doors away perhaps wasn't the best location for such a sound effect.

And then quite a few things happened at once. First of all, Tallulah came rushing up to me.

‘Was that you howling?' she cried.

‘Er … yes,' I said hoarsely. ‘It was, actually.'

‘That was better.'

‘Thanks.'

‘Still very poor, but louder,' she said. ‘It lacked any authentic horror though. Still, to do it here of all places – respect for that.' And a smile even flickered briefly across her face, which was kind of cheering. It was just a shame I also had to edge briskly away from her as I stank – of blood. Next, Matron burst out of her room and bellowed, ‘Marcus, did you just make that appalling sound outside my door?'

I swallowed hard. ‘Do you know, I think I must have gone into a little trance there for a few seconds as I have no memory of what I just did. You think I made a howling noise? Well, how odd. Could you describe it to me at all?'

‘What nonsense are you babbling now?' demanded Matron. ‘I'm sending you to the headmaster.' But there was no need as he had already come striding out of his lair to see what was going on.

When he saw me he groaned. ‘If ever there's trouble, you're not far away.' And then I was swiftly marched into his torture chamber, only able to glance briefly at Tallulah, who was smiling at me for a second record-breaking time.

My interview with the headmaster was short and not at all sweet. He assumed I'd let out that howl as a monster dare. I didn't argue as I just wanted to get out of there and clean myself up. So he waggled his ferocious eyebrows about and gave me four detentions and I said, ‘Thank you very much indeed.' After which he gave me a very funny look and I left.

I sped to the nearest loo next, which luckily was empty, and gave my face and hands a thorough wash. Then I gargled with water to clean my mouth out.

My craving for blood had gone – for now.

Monday 15 October
3.00 p.m.

‘I was in Matron's office,' said Joel, ‘with her looming over me and my nosebleed still in full flow when your howl just erupted into the room. And Matron leaped right up into the air as if someone had just stuck a pin up her backside. “What was that?” she screeched, all her chins wobbling together, like a giant concertina. I tell you, mate, right then I felt so glad to be alive, and as for my nosebleed … it had totally stopped.'

‘You're kidding me,' I cried.

He started to laugh. ‘And you know what, I'd say it was your howl which cured
me. You're not a witch doctor, are you?'

‘You'd be surprised,' I said.

3.55 p.m.

I was just walking out of school with Joel when Tallulah rushed up to us. ‘What are you doing on Thursday night?' she asked me.

‘Well, I haven't got the seven volumes of my social diary with me, but at a rough guess I'd say – absolutely nothing.'

‘Well, you are now,' she said.

Joel stared at her. ‘Hey, you're not asking him out for a date, are you?'

She made very loud throwing-up noises and then said, ‘You really want to join Monsters in School, don't you, Marcus? That's why you made that improved but still hideously mediocre howl today, isn't it?'

Actually I had no interest in joining M.I.S. at all. Well, as I keep telling you, blog, I don't even like horror stories very much. But I still replied, ‘Ah, you know all about me, don't you?'

‘Yes, I do,' said Tallulah. ‘And I can't let you come along as a member, but you can attend the next meeting on Thursday – as a visitor.
I will tell you our secret meeting place nearer the time. But I'm giving you a task now: on Thursday night you must tell a story which terrifies everyone. It needn't be very long, just make sure it's really horrible. Do that successfully, and who knows?'

Before I could reply she'd strode off. She always acts as if she's in a terrible hurry. And Joel let out a loud sigh of amazement. ‘What a day this has been. But is that right? You did that howl because you wanted to be in the M.I.S.? Or maybe,' he added with a teasing smile, ‘it's Countess Tallulah you like.' Then he darted off before I could punch him.

4.20 p.m.

At home, and Dad is back early. He and Mum look up very expectantly as I walk in. I give a little bow. ‘The craving has landed. But you guessed that. I mean, the so-called vampire jab gave me no choice, did it?'

‘It speeded up things, yes,' said Dad.

‘But what is the craving?' asked Mum.

‘Would you believe
blood
? Sorry I can't be more original.' Then I filled them in on the day's grisly events. And when I finished
neither of them could stop these little smiles breaking out on their faces.

‘So tell me,' I said, ‘when does my next blood craving kick in? Or is that to be a wonderful surprise?'

‘You usually get really intense cravings about twice a day,' said Mum.

‘You say this like it's a good thing,' I said.

‘It is,' said Mum quietly.

‘Mum, I'm drinking blood. I'm a gory freak.'

‘No,' Mum and Dad protested together.

‘Oh, I know for you two it's a sign I'm the chosen one, and the more blood I slurp, the prouder you'll be. But I'm hating every disgusting second. So how long will all this fun go on for anyway?

‘Only usually about three or four days,' said Mum. ‘And don't worry, we'll look after you.' Her voice was all soft and concerned, but she couldn't stop another smile from forming. A smile of victory, I thought angrily. I was turning into one of them.

‘So does this craving mean I'm now officially a half-vampire?'

‘Oh, no,' said Dad. ‘You've got lots to do yet.'

‘Will you be giving me another jab for that, then?' I asked.

‘No,' said Dad firmly. ‘No more jabs. The rest of the transformation into a half-vampire has to come from you.'

So that was one little bit of good news, I suppose.

7.05 p.m.

Just had an almost raw steak, swimming in blood, all of which I lapped up. I tell you, when you're drinking blood it just glides down your throat so effortlessly. I suppose there's a very faint blackcurrant flavour, but it's stronger and much juicer than that. And it's very, very more-ish. No, really … I guess you're just going to have to trust me on this one.

After I'd finished I gave a little contented sigh and Mum said proudly, ‘Well, that should keep you ticking over for a while.'

7.45 p.m.

Ticking over as a half-vampire. Now the revulsion is kicking in again as I realize I'm turning into something that just isn't me.