The Vampire Blog (16 page)

He didn't want Tallulah's blood at all, but he would take it as an act of revenge for her getting in his way and stopping him drinking my blood.

As Karl advanced towards Tallulah, she didn't move. She couldn't. He'd hypnotized her with his dead eyes, exactly as he had done with me.

And I was just so mad with myself. Why did I tell Tallulah to come here? What could she possibly do against a fully-fledged vampire? And did I really think Karl was going to let Tallulah and me walk out of here together? Well, yes, I did actually. I'd thought, as soon as he saw Tallulah, that he'd realize the game was up and just go – but instead …

Instead, Tallulah was now in the greatest danger of her whole life.

Karl advanced towards Tallulah's pale throat. His mouth was open. His fangs gleamed and shone.

‘Let her go, Karl,' I cried. ‘You can have my blood – gallons of it – and mine's the kind you specially like.'

‘Oh yes, I shall have your blood too,' murmured Karl. ‘But she has annoyed me so much that in this instance I shall drink some vile, human blood first.'

‘You're just sick,' I cried.

‘This is no time to start flattering me,' he purred, sounding even more nauseatingly smug than usual.

I staggered to my feet. But Karl wasn't bothered. In fact, he even turned his back on me. He knew I couldn't really do anything against him and his super powers.

Anger and rage I'd never felt before leaped into the pit of my stomach. It rose up through my chest and into my throat, where it burst with such fury I really thought I was going to have a choking fit.

But instead, that's when the second incredible thing happened.

Monday 22 October
10.18 p.m.

I let out a howl.

The loudest, wildest, longest, deepest, most spine-shivering, most blood-curdling howl you've ever heard. I tell you it just blasted into that room with such force that Karl leaped back from Tallulah as if I'd just landed one almighty punch on him.

And then I did exactly that. Suddenly and totally amazingly, I let out a second roar (nearly as impressive as my first one), charged forward, grabbed Karl and then hurled a punch at his chest, knocking all the wind out of him, immediately followed by a
second punch, which sent him flying across the room.

Tallulah was gazing at me while clutching her neck. ‘I really thought he was going to … and I couldn't move. It was so …' Then she saw Karl sprawled out on the floor by the kitchen table. ‘Did someone else just come in here and do that?'

I shook my head. ‘No. All my own work.'

‘And that roar you let out – it made my ears pop. You're amazing. I can't believe it.'

Actually I was having trouble believing it too. I felt dead strange as well, quite unlike myself. It was as if a thunderstorm had just erupted right inside my head, shaking me up so much that I'd become someone entirely different.

But Karl started leaning slowly forward.

‘You won't hit me again,' he snarled.

‘Yes, I will,' I said, standing over him with my fists bunched together.

It was then Tallulah rushed forward and said, ‘Don't worry, Marcus, I've come armed. Look!'

She flung off her coat. ‘The hardware shop
was out of stakes,' she said cheerfully, ‘so I bought these instead at the grocery shop.' And then came the third incredible event as Tallulah brought out tons and tons of garlic. ‘Emptied the place,' she said proudly. ‘There's not a strong-smelling garlic clove left in the shop.' And she started firing these garlic cloves at Karl.

Karl pitched to the ground again and let out a shriek of horror as the garlic cloves rained down on him. ‘Stop it,' he urged in a low, ragged voice, and put his hands up to his face to protect him from any more. But Tallulah seemed to have an inexhaustible supply of garlic.

‘Marcus, look at his face,' she shouted suddenly.

Karl's eyes had practically vanished and his skin looked all crumpled and ancient. He was shrivelling away in front us.

‘Wow, he's turning into the oldest man in the world. Isn't this fantastic?' cried Tallulah.

‘Oh yes,' I agreed. I'd have said it a bit more enthusiastically if the garlic smell wasn't making me feel a bit nauseous too. ‘I'll just sit down here for a second,' I said, trying
to move as far away from the ghastly smell as I could.

And then suddenly something else came splashing onto the floor: sick – vampire-style. Bright green with what looked like tiny red spots inside it.

‘Oh, this is tremendous,' cried Tallulah, studying it. ‘Come and look, Marcus.'

‘You're all right,' I said, fearing if I saw it I'd soon be adding to it.

‘Now, listen to me,' said Tallulah to a now very aged and seedy-looking Karl. ‘I've also got garlic powder in my coat. And I'm willing to use it as well if you don't start answering a few questions, like: Why have you come here? Come on, speak!'

Karl made a noise like a cross between a howl and a very loud belch and then vanished.

‘He's gone,' shouted Tallulah, deeply disappointed.

‘No, he hasn't,' I said. ‘He's a marvellous quick-change vampire. He'll be a bat again now – yeah, look, there he is!'

And there was the bat, not moving so confidently this time though. It swayed,
rather than swirled around the room. Then all at once it seemed to go very still as it hovered in the darkest corner of the room.

‘Got you,' cried Tallulah, lunging at it. But instead it disappeared again. Only this time it just seemed to melt away into the darkness. Or maybe the dark swallowed it up. Anyway, it had vanished – gone.

‘He didn't answer any of my questions,' said Tallulah sadly.

I immediately started packing up the garlic. ‘All right if I bung this outside for now?' I said. ‘It just reminds me of him.'

‘OK,' said Tallulah. ‘And keep it – I don't want it.' I knew for certain we didn't want it either. I hurled it onto the back patio, nearly throwing up as well. How anyone could ever buy garlic, I don't know. The smell is truly appalling.

‘Do you think he'll come back for his clothes and stuff ?' asked Tallulah.

‘I doubt it,' I said.

‘So do I,' she said. ‘Vampires are almost always quite rich. So he'll just buy a load of new clothes.' Then she let out a cry of disappointment. ‘His vomit has disappeared.'

‘Oh, what a cruel blow. What were you planning to do with that?'

‘Study it,' said Tallulah. ‘Put it under a microscope.'

‘Yuck,' I said.

‘But don't you see, we've no proof now that a vampire really was here. Apart from us, of course,' she sighed. ‘I'd love to have found out more about him.'

‘There wasn't really time for a nice cosy chat – he was too busy trying to drink up my blood … and yours.'

‘What a night,' she sighed appreciatively.

‘If you hadn't come round tonight I certainly wouldn't be alive. Great you got my hint about the window.'

‘Wasn't difficult,' she said.

‘And the garlic was an inspired idea.'

‘For me, it was just obvious. But then, as I told you, I'm an expert on vampires. And to think you had one living all that time in your house.'

‘Yeah, he had us all fooled. You see, we hadn't seen the real Cousin Karl for years. Then the real one rang up tonight. That was a very weird moment, I can tell you. The
fake one said he'd never attack a stranger.'

‘That's right, they like to be introduced to you first,' said Tallulah. She looked at me. ‘What I don't get is why the vampire chose you.'

I hesitated for a second, and then said quietly, ‘Well, I don't like to boast, but I've got amazing blood—'

‘No, be serious,' interrupted Tallulah. ‘That vampire was just wasted on you. And it could come back.'

‘I didn't like the way you smiled when you said that,' I said.

‘No, you're still in danger. You'll definitely need a bodyguard; someone who knows all about vampires.'

‘Are you volunteering for the job?' I asked.

‘Of course I am.' Tallulah grinned. ‘Have you got a spare room?'

‘We've got the attic.'

‘Perfect. I'll live there. And you needn't pay me. My parents will pay you to get shot of me.'

‘If your parents had seen you tonight they'd have been well impressed,' I said. ‘Just as I am.'

Tallulah actually beamed at me then. In fact, the whole room seemed soaked in happiness.

And then … and then my parents came back.

11.30 p.m.

‘Don't panic,' called out Tallulah, ‘but your son's just been attacked by a vampire. Now, don't worry, I dealt with the situation and he's absolutely fine.'

‘It's true,' I added. ‘Karl was, in fact, not my cousin – but a vampire.'

My mum and dad gaped at Tallulah and me in total confusion. We went into the sitting room, and by the time Tallulah and I had finished telling them about Karl's attack, both my parents had aged about ten years. They looked terrible. They whispered to me how they hadn't been able to find the specialist Karl had recommended, but just
thought they'd got the address down wrong.

‘How could we have left him in charge?' cried Mum.

‘We should have asked him for proof of identity or something,' said Dad.

‘Oh, Dad, who'd want to live in a world where people did things like that?' I said. ‘He knew all about the letter we'd sent and he was the same age as the real Karl – of course you believed him.'

‘Vampires are very clever,' put in Tallulah. ‘I'm an expert on them.' Then she added kindly, ‘I don't suppose you even thought they existed up to now, did you?'

‘No,' murmured Dad, and then he got up. ‘You two have had a nasty shock; you both deserve a hot drink now.'

‘Oh, that's all right,' began Tallulah.

‘No, I insist,' said Dad. He marched off to the kitchen, while Mum continued asking about tonight, but she seemed distracted. I guessed she was just really shocked by what had happened. Then Dad returned. ‘Hot chocolate, perfect at a moment like this.'

He seemed to perk up now as he chatted away to Tallulah and me. ‘I want to thank
you, Tallulah,' he said, ‘for all you've done tonight. We will always be very grateful to you.'

‘And you do believe it was a vampire?' asked Tallulah.

‘Oh, yes,' said Dad, ‘we're certain of that.'

‘And will you tell other people?' went on Tallulah.

‘Why not?' said Dad smoothly and without a moment's hesitation – which stunned me.

And then something happened which shocked me much more.

Tallulah suddenly gave a large yawn. ‘Oh, sorry,' she cried, and then gave an even larger yawn and her head slumped forward.

I sprang to my feet. ‘Was there something in that drink?'

‘It's all right,' said Dad.

‘No it's not all right,' I said. ‘You can't go around drugging my friends.'

‘It's very mild,' said Mum. She and Dad were leaning over Tallulah now. ‘And we only use it in emergencies.'

‘And this
is
an emergency,' said Dad. Then he muttered to Mum, ‘How long did the manual say to wait?'

‘Five minutes is their recommended time,' said Mum.

‘And then what?' I exclaimed.

‘First,' said Dad, ‘you must tell us exactly what Tallulah knows.'

‘Why?' I asked.

‘Oh come on, Ved,' said Mum, ‘you must see that we can't allow Tallulah to know vampires exist. She will talk about today – and very loudly. And then people will descend on us, wanting to know all the details, such as why you were picked out. Suddenly we'd be the focus of everybody's attention. Half-vampires can't live like that.'

‘Too much to hide, you mean,' I said bitterly. I hated seeing poor Tallulah lying there, drugged. It wasn't right, after all she'd done to save me tonight.