The Village Nurse's Happy-Ever-After (12 page)

‘I don't know about that, you would have to ask her, but it is my last call of the day when I see him, so he might have already been to school. From what I can see, all Jasmine's children watch TV quite a lot but, then, so do most children. Oscar is the only one showing signs of rickets, though.'

‘Yes, well, we'll have a look at young Oscar and see what is going on. Ask one of the receptionists to give
Jasmine a call and make an appointment for her to bring the boy to see me, will you, Phoebe?'

‘Yes,' she said, her mind elsewhere.

He was observing her thoughtfully. ‘You're miles away. What's wrong?'

As if he didn't know, she thought.
Everything was wrong,
and what on earth had possessed her to ask if the woman they'd been discussing had a husband?

He was waiting for an answer so she gave him one, but again she was avoiding the truth. ‘Nothing is wrong. I'm fine,' she told him, and made a speedy exit from his consulting room before he found any more awkward questions to confront her with.

When she'd gone, Harry's thoughts switched to the coming ordeal. He would be flying out to Australia in ten days' time and returning one week later. As well as the inquest, there were a few loose ends that he needed to tie up while he was there.

Yet he didn't like the idea of Leo being the only doctor at the practice while he was away, but the other man was emphatic that they would be able to manage without him for that short space of time.

Leo had spoken to him the other day regarding his apartment if he moved to Glades Manor. ‘I've been very comfortable at Meredith's guest house,' he'd said, ‘but I'm ready to move into something more permanent when the opportunity arises.'

‘Who told you I'm thinking of buying the place?' he'd asked, and the fair-haired six-footer who always seemed to hit the right note with the opposite sex—which was more than he could say for himself these days!—had
explained that Lucy had seen the estate agent showing him round when she'd been out walking her dog.

‘I see,' he'd said. ‘I wondered if it was Phoebe who had told you as she knows about my interest in Glades Manor. She once came across me up there while she was pushing Marcus out in his buggy, yet I can't imagine her being into surgery gossip.'

‘She isn't,' Leo had assured him. ‘Phoebe is a very private person; we don't see that much of her here. She no sooner appears than she's gone.'

Tell me about it, he'd thought groaning inwardly, I'm to blame for that. As he had patients waiting, he'd told Leo, ‘If I buy the manor house, you can have my apartment with pleasure. I would expect that it's the only one of the two likely to become vacant. I'll make sure that Janet, as practice manager, gives you first choice, but nothing has been settled about Glades Manor as yet.'

He was in the process of buying the property but hadn't yet exchanged contracts on it. That would happen around the time he got back from Australia and it would have been a marvellous moment if Phoebe and Marcus had still been part of his life. But he knew who was to blame for that, and it wasn't them.

After the way he'd treated her he was going to be rattling around the place with his dreams shattered. He'd imagined Marcus playing in the gardens and the fields around it, sleeping safe and sound in one of the sun-washed bedrooms, with Phoebe close beside
him
when he went to sleep, and there when he awoke in what would have no longer been his lonely bed. But all of that would have meant commitment, relying on others
and them relying on him. He'd given Phoebe reason to believe he wasn't able to offer that, and had been paying the emotional price ever since.

 

Jasmine and young Oscar came to see him the following morning after Phoebe had roused his interest in a possible rickets situation. When he'd examined the boy, his expression was grave. ‘Nurse Howard was right, Jasmine,' he said. ‘Your boy lacks vitamin D, which can affect healthy growth in a child.

‘He's got rickets. I'm going to send him for X-rays to confirm my findings, and in the meantime increase his intake of the vitamin, make sure he has plenty of oily fish and foods that contain animal fats in his diet. Also see to it that he gets out in the sun more as sunshine can help his intake of vitamin D, and for goodness' sake limit his television watching! He should be getting exercise at his age, out kicking a ball around.'

‘All right!' she cried. ‘
You
want to try coping with six of them on a farmhand's wage and with only twenty-four hours in a day.'

‘What I'm suggesting is for Oscar's own good,' he told her. ‘Sunlight and exercise cost nothing, and if you give all the family the same food it shouldn't cost any more. Also I'm going to give you a vitamin D supplement for him to take.'

She sighed. ‘I suppose you're right.'

‘I
am
right. I'm a doctor, Jasmine, and what your son has got was almost unheard of until recently. It belonged to past generations living in hard times. With regard to the X-rays, you should receive an appointment in the
next few days and once the results have come through I'll want to see Oscar again.'

‘Yes, okay,' she replied, and paused in the doorway. ‘You were fun in the old days, Harry. Who's taken the joy out of you?'

He didn't reply, just rolled his eyes heavenwards and called in his next patient. Yet what the sassy Jasmine had said had gone home. If Phoebe was going to continue keeping him on the fringes of her life, joyless was how he was going to stay.

 

Jasmine's visit had one redeeming feature: it provided him with a reason to talk to Phoebe again when she came back at four o'clock. As soon as she appeared, he called her into his consulting room.

‘I've had young Oscar and his mother here,' he said when she'd closed the door behind her. ‘And you weren't wrong about the rickets. I'm sending him for X-rays, of course, but have no doubt in my mind about what the results will be.

‘She was angry at the inference of neglect on her part, and wanted to know how I would like six kids to look after. I refrained from telling her that I would need a lot of practice. When she'd gone, after telling me what a joyless creature I have become, it crossed my mind that you might want to second her on that.'

‘So that's what this is about, is it? Why you've brought me in here,' she said wearily as exhaustion washed over her. ‘To find out what is going on in
my
mind? I'm wondering what you think gives you the right to ask. Now,
if you'll excuse me, I have to pick Marcus up or Beth will think I've got lost.'

He was observing her pallor. She was white, gaunt almost, with dark shadows beneath her eyes. The pale perfection of her skin that had been the first thing he'd noticed about her was submerged beneath weariness and he said, ‘I've just one patient to see. If you can hang on for a few moments longer,
I'll
go and get him.'

‘No, thanks just the same,' she told him. ‘Marcus is my responsibility.'

‘You are still punishing me for pushing you away, aren't you?'

‘Yes, if that is what you choose to think,' was her parting shot as she went to collect her child. It had been on the tip of her tongue to tell Harry that when it came to punishment she knew what it was all about. She was giving up her job, a life in this idyllic village, and about to take on twice as much responsibility as she had now, all because he wasn't ready to open his heart to love and family, and
that
was hard enough to cope with on its own.

In a sick sort of way, she was counting the days to him going to Australia so that she could depart, quietly and without fuss, for the next stage of her existence.

She rang Katie when Marcus was asleep to let her know what she was planning to do and explained that she was going to accept the invitation to stay with them until she'd found a job and a place of her own, and then she would move on.

‘I can't imagine how you are feeling about all this,' her sister said, ‘but whether this guy loves you or not,
don't you think you should tell him now that you're having his baby? Every day that goes by without him knowing will make it more hurtful for him when he does find out. If he's already beginning to bond with Marcus, as you say, he might be over the moon when he hears about this one.'

‘Yes, I know,' she protested, ‘but there is one thing you're forgetting—he isn't in love with me. I thought he was but he isn't, and would only be interested in taking me on as part of the package for the baby's sake. I am not prepared to let that happen.

‘I'll be leaving Bluebell Cove in ten days' time, the day after Harry has gone to Australia for the inquest into his wife's death. The move shouldn't be too hectic as the apartment is kept fully furnished by the practice. It will just be a matter of packing clothes and toys belonging to Marcus, getting into the car and driving off early in the morning before the village is awake or in the evening when the light has gone.'

‘And you say you're going to leave him a letter telling him about the baby?

‘Yes.'

‘Will it explain where you can be found?'

‘No. I will tell him where I am in a few weeks' time when I feel ready to face up to it. If I see Harry too soon after I've made the break, I might lose the determination to go through with it. He only needs to touch me and I melt, but it would seem that I don't have the same effect on him. I have to keep telling myself this—I am
not
going to marry any man who doesn't love me as much as he loves my children.'

‘One of them will be his as well, don't forget,' Katie reminded her.

‘As if I could.' The thought was engraved on her mind in a mixture of joy and dismay. ‘A friend from the London bank phoned me the other night to inform me that Darren
has
married the chairman's daughter. They are expecting their first child and he is over the moon. It's a strange world, isn't it?' And with her glance on Marcus, playing happily with his toys on the carpet beside her. ‘I have no regrets. If I hadn't left Darren I would never have met Harry. Meeting him has turned my life upside down, but I won't ever forget him.

‘The problem with us is that when we met, we both had hurtful pasts. But where I've coped with mine, difficult as it was, there are unhappy areas of his childhood that still haunt him. Several times he has made it clear that he wouldn't want to risk any child of his having to experience what he did.

‘So how Harry is going to feel when he knows he's made me pregnant I can't imagine, but one thing is sure—we can't go on as we are. I haven't been able to convince him that all families aren't like his, neglecting the one child that they've still got because they've lost another younger one. I couldn't see you or I doing that in those circumstances, could you?'

‘Definitely not,' was the immediate reply. ‘We would have been even more loving and protective of the remaining child.'

But that hadn't been Harry's experience, and that was why Phoebe knew she had to leave—because he had no happy memories of family life.

S
PRING
was everywhere in Bluebell Cove as Harry prepared to fly to Australia and Phoebe made ready to move up north. Blossom was on the trees, surfers were in the sea, which was now blue instead of winter's cold grey, and on the beach families picnicked and frolicked with their children to an even greater degree as each day came and went. Every time Phoebe looked around her, the ache inside increased.

She hadn't done anything about antenatal care as yet, there seemed no point. Better to wait until she'd moved and could register at a clinic near where Katie and Rob lived.

Harry and herself were both counting the days to misery, she thought, him having to present himself at the inquest in Australia and her rootless and forlorn, moving on into an exile that Harry had given her no choice but to impose on herself.

Her vitality was low as her body adjusted to the demands of the pregnancy, and as she coped with her workload and looked after Marcus, her concern for Harry was always at the back of her mind, especially because of what she was planning to do. Would he be
relieved to discover that she was dealing with it in her own way, accepting that family ties were not his thing? Or would he be dismayed that he'd been shelved in the process of coping with her pregnancy? She wished she knew.

Yet, even so, there was comfort to be had in small doses, such as seeing young Oscar playing on the beach on a warm spring day, doing what boys did, with the rest of his family, and Jasmine calling across for her to tell Harry that she was knitting them both a jumper as thanks for sorting out her eldest. The X-rays had shown that rickets were present in the child, but had been diagnosed early enough for natural growth to be restored.

When she'd passed the message on to Harry he'd said he hoped the garment wouldn't be pink as that was Jasmine's favourite colour. She'd replied that whatever colour it was he would have to wear it as it was a very kind thought on her part, and as they'd smiled at the prospect, it had been a brief moment of togetherness.

Another time of tranquillity between them had been on a day when she'd been driving along the coast road on her way to one of her calls and had seen his car parked at the side of the road. When she'd pulled up alongside, she'd found him gazing down at the beach below where Beth and her helpers had taken the children from the nursery for a picnic.

When she'd gone to stand beside him Harry had said, ‘There's Marcus at the water's edge with one of Beth's girls holding tightly to his hand. He just needs to take that one step on his own, doesn't he? It's nearly always
like that—once they've done it they're off. It's just a matter of them having the confidence to attempt it. Or being attracted to something so much that they forget about holding onto a support.'

As they'd reluctantly turned away from the scene below, Harry had said, ‘You do realise that once he's taken the plunge you will need eyes in the back of your head? You will definitely require a gate of some kind at the top of those stairs back at the apartments. I'll sort that out for you if you like, either make one or buy one.

‘And by the way, what about the lecture for nursing staff regarding new procedures that the NHS is giving the night after next at the hospital? All of you will be expected to attend. Have you given it any thought?'

‘Yes, and that is far as I've got,' she told him. ‘Lucy won't be able to babysit as she'll be attending the lecture herself, and even if she wasn't I don't want to be continually taking advantage of her good nature.'

‘So why don't I keep an eye on Marcus? If you remember, I once told you I haven't got any good nature to put upon, and I'm sure you don't find that hard to believe. We could leave both our doors open and I could pop in and out all the time to check on him. It's the obvious solution to the problem.'

‘Yes. I suppose it is,' she said, wishing that a much bigger problem than that had such a simple remedy and not wanting to seem too eager to accept his suggestion. ‘Yet it will be too early for him to be asleep when I have to leave, though I can have him bathed and in his pyjamas ready for bed before I go.'

‘Fine. It will give us the chance for a little playtime before he goes to sleep, and you a chance to be with people on your own wavelength for a change, as I never seem to be on it.'

When he'd driven off she'd felt tears pricking. In those few moments Harry had sorted out two of her problems, a babysitter and a gate, but unless Marcus decided to step out on his own before they left Bluebell Cove they might not need a gate, not for the apartment anyway.

Yet they couldn't leave it behind. It would be a labour of love where Harry was concerned, not for her but for her little boy. A reminder of how much he was drawn to him, and as she looked down at her still trim waistline, it was as if they would both be taking something with them to cherish that Harry had given them.

 

On the night of the lecture, and with only minutes to spare, she called across that she was ready to leave and Harry came striding out of his room and took Marcus from her.

She was looking subdued and he asked, ‘What's wrong? Are you thinking you've drawn the short straw?'

‘If I have, it won't be the first time,' she said, noting that Marcus was content to be left now he'd seen Harry. She wondered if it was wise to let them get any closer, yet she reasoned it would only be for a few hours and her little one would be asleep for part of the time.

‘I've left his bedtime bottle ready,' she told him, and
with a long last glance at the smiling pair she went quickly down the stairs into the April night.

 

Phoebe isn't happy about leaving me in charge of her child, he thought wryly when she'd gone. What does she think I'm going to do? Offer him a game of poker?

‘But, then, she doesn't know what I'm planning when I come back from the inquest. If she doesn't turn me down after the way I've treated her, the three of us are going have lots of fun and be very happy in a house called Glades Manor. So what do you think about that, Marcus?'

In reply his small charge said the only word in his as yet restricted vocabulary…‘Daddy…' and Harry wondered chokingly how he ever could have been wary of moments like this.

 

When Phoebe returned, he was seated beside the cot reading a book, with Marcus sleeping contentedly. He said casually, ‘So how was it?' he asked casually, raising his eyes from the page. ‘That sort of thing can go on a bit.'

‘It was all right,' she told him. ‘Lots of information about new procedures and regulations. How was Marcus? Was he good for you?'

He smiled. ‘Of course. He and I are great friends.'

If he'd expected that to bring relief to her expression he was wrong, but, then, he didn't know what she did, that his days were numbered with her and her child.

 

It was only a short time after him looking after Marcus, and on his last day at the surgery before setting off on
his grim journey, that his comments about the safety measures that would be required when he started walking came into being.

He'd been on his way upstairs to consult a medical journal he'd been reading that had information about a new drug that might benefit a patient he'd just seen. But he wanted to know more about it before he prescribed it, and on the bottom step had found the Easter bunny that he'd bought for Marcus, which he must have dropped as Phoebe had been carrying him up at the end of the day. When he picked it up, he was smiling. It gave him an excuse to knock on her door.

When she opened it wide, he held out the toy and said, ‘I've just found this on the stairs.'

Marcus was behind her, standing upright but holding onto the sofa, and the moment he heard Harry's voice and saw him framed in the doorway he forgot the need for something to cling to and took a step towards him.

On the point of saying thanks for bringing the toy up, Phoebe had her back to him and Harry said in a low voice, ‘Stay still, Phoebe. Marcus has seen me and is on the move. He's right behind you—one more little step and I'll have him.'

Then Marcus wobbled past her and into the arms of the man on the landing, and as Harry carried him inside she was weeping tears of regret as she closed the door behind them.

‘What?' he asked, putting Marcus back onto his feet. ‘What's wrong Phoebe? Are you upset that he came to me with his first steps instead of you?'

‘No, of course not,' she told him, wishing that she could do the same as Marcus and walk into his arms. ‘It was such an emotional moment, that's all.'

He was smiling. ‘Yes, it was, and it's happened just as I'm off to Australia. I've got the wood for the gate and am working on it, but it's not quite finished, so take care until I get back.'

She couldn't stand much more of this, she thought. She'd be gone when he came back, but would have been glad to have had the gate as a reminder of how loving Harry was with Marcus.

Instead, she told him, ‘Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to him. And, Harry, I hope that your ordeal will soon be over when you get there, and you can return to this place that means so much to you.'

She watched a shadow cross his face and felt she'd said the wrong thing, but didn't know why. Unless it was because she hadn't mentioned him coming back to
her
especially, but he was the one who'd set the boundaries, not her.

‘I'll remember what you've said,' he replied, ‘and now I must get back to my patients.' He smiled tightly. ‘I'll see you in a week's time, Phoebe.'

And that was that, she thought when he'd gone. No tender goodbyes or loving words. If she'd had any last-minute doubts about what she was planning to do, they'd disappeared.

He was crazy, Harry thought when he came up at the end of the day and cast a glance at her closed door. Why hadn't he taken Phoebe into his arms when they'd been
together and explained that the hang-ups and hurts that family life had brought for him had now disappeared?

She'd wept after Marcus had walked his first steps in his direction and he'd wanted to hold her close then, but she'd passed the tears off as the emotion of the moment and the opportunity had passed.

As for their cold goodbye, he couldn't wait to tell her that his future lay with her. That she was his second chance of love and tenderness. The first one hadn't been quite what he'd hoped it would be, and since meeting her he'd realised just what he had been missing,

She already had a child so might not want any more, but he could accept Marcus as his own if she would let him and be content. But his mind was leaping ahead. It was just eight hours to him leaving for the airport and in that time he had to pack, make a meal and finish the gate for the top of the stairs.

 

Phoebe was standing by the window when he drove off at half past two the following morning, and when he looked up, she shrank back out of sight.

His journey would be long, hers much shorter, but they would both be travelling towards trauma, and today would be the first of the rest of her restricted life.

She intended driving up north in the evening when the surgery was closed to avoid awkward questions. During the day she would be making her usual calls to the sick and infirm.

The only people who knew she was leaving were Janet and Leo. They'd had to be told because she wouldn't be working out her notice. Janet knew because
her daughter was ready and willing to step into the vacancy that it would create, and Leo had to be told so that he could make some arrangements of his own.

She'd left the letter she'd written to Harry in Janet's safekeeping and the practice manager hadn't asked any questions. Clearly she was expecting it to be a formal resignation from the practice from a courtesy point of view, because her departure had taken place during his absence.

It had been the hardest thing she'd ever had to do, writing to tell him that she'd left because she was carrying their child, and that, loving him as she did, she couldn't bear the thought of him reluctantly accepting the responsibility of a family that he didn't want. She'd explained with stark simplicity, every word a knife thrust in her heart.

When she'd handed the letter to Janet, she'd felt sick inside, but now it was time for action. Harry had gone and her last day in Bluebell Cove was about to commence.

As she stepped out onto the landing her eyes widened. The gate was finished. Propped up against the wall opposite, it was made out of pale wood and well crafted. Attached to it was a brief note that said, ‘I've been in touch with a joiner who will come and fix it in position for you, Phoebe. This is his number. Give him a call when you're ready, regards, Harry.'

Little did he know that the joiner wouldn't be required, she thought as the ache inside her increased. The gate was too big to go in the boot of the car but there was a roof rack above that she could tie it to. No way was she going to leave behind Harry's gift to them.

Then it was off to the nursery for Marcus's last attendance and another wretched moment as they said goodbye to Beth and her helpers.

Her final visits to her patients followed and it was difficult not to say goodbye to
them
under the circumstances. But as her departure would not be made public for a little while, it was advisable, just as it would be with the staff at the surgery.