The Wall (The Woodlands) (12 page)

Run.

The need to flee was so strong, I wanted to jump off the incline and roll down the hill. Keep running and never, ever look back.

Joseph sto
pped still, his beautiful eyes unblinking. Disbelief stung right through us both. The woman in our sled grunted impatiently and finally climbed out. My eyes flitted to her, irritated at why she had waited until now to help us. She pulled the dogs. It was a battle, though. Now that we had stopped running, the dogs seemed to think they had done their part. Their legs were still. Breathless, they leaned down to lick the snow, little puffs of steam floating from where their warm tongues had touched the ice.

I put my hands to
one of their heads and rubbed between its ears, burying my fingers into the soft fur and holding on like it was an anchor. It whined before the woman yanked the harness violently and urged them forward.

Neither of us could move.

I pulled Orry from my back and Joseph carefully shook him free of the capsule. His cheeks were pink and his nose was cold but he was ok. With his other arm, Joseph pulled me close to him. I moved stiffly, my legs buried in snow, my heart somewhere in my stomach. Never in a million years did I ever think we would be back here.

“
It’s ok. It’s not the same one,” he said close to my ear, his warm mouth tickling my skin. I nodded weakly. If it was ok, how come he hadn’t budged either?

The rails were
mostly buried with snow. But the shape of their path was still evident. Small sections of rusted steel poked out from the white here and there like vague zebra stripes. This twisting path led directly into my nightmares.

The black hole laughed at me.
Its stone border grinned with chipped and stained teeth. I could almost see it screaming and howling, with ghosts flying out of its ghastly mouth and flames licking the walls. I felt her arm link in mine but she didn’t push me. She was waiting. She would move when I moved. “Cla—” The name caught in my throat and stayed there, gravelly and uncomfortable.

Joseph started towards the
entrance, following the others, assuming I would follow. The tunnel whispered, ‘Hessa,’ for my ears only. I squatted down in the snow, removed my gloves, and plunged my hand into the ice. I let out a squeak as it both scalded and froze my fingers. It hurt but I wanted to feel something else, just for a second. The ice around me turned pink from my cut-up hands.

I shrank back.
Blood. Always more blood.

Joseph stopped
when he noticed I was still stuck in the snow and beckoned me with his spare hand.
Get up and go
, I thought.

I was the kind of person that needed time. And I seemed to be someone who was always running out of it. Always having to kick myself, force myself to get over it and move. I wondered if this would ever change or if I would always be fighting
and wading against the current.

I trudged on, feeling a strong sense of
deja vu
. But as we got closer, I could see what Joseph was talking about. It was not the same. Not at all. I hesitated anyway… until the horribly familiar sound of blades slicing through the air started me running to the entrance. I burst through and crouched in the shadows, waiting for it to pass. It got louder and then the sound dissipated into the atmosphere as the chopper swung around and headed back in the direction of the mounds.

Turn
ing my gaze inwards, everyone was unpacking their stuff and stacking it against soot-smattered walls. The dogs were being watered and fed. The weird thing was they were all pinned against the wall like the tracks might rip up and bite them. I stormed in, ready to demand they take me back to look for Deshi and Hessa, when I heard a voice yell, “Rosa, wait!” before I slammed into something solid, hitting my nose quite hard, splinters of pain shooting into the backs of my eyes. The solid thing clanged and then it flickered before me.

“
What the…?” I reached out to touch it. It was cold, metallic feeling, but felt thin as paper, like I could push it in with my finger and make a dent.

Deshi laughed loudly
. “Ha! That was great—can you do it again?”

My
heart danced at the sight of him. I pinched the bridge of my nose and said in a nasally voice, “You’re not very nice to me, you know.”

Deshi
frowned theatrically. “Oh coz, you’re
always
sweetness and light…”

I used my hands to guide myself to him
, around whatever it was, and slammed into his chest. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed his cheek and squeezed his thin body.

Deshi
went rigid, his arms tensing for a second, before he started shaking with laughter. “Are you confused or something? Joseph’s over there,” he pointed.

I stepped back
, embarrassed. “Sorry. I’m just glad to see you. I thought you… um… I thought we had left you and Hessa behind.”

His eyes softened,
something occurring to him. “Oh… Nah, we’re fine. We left before the rest of you. I think Hessa’s a little daredevil; he loved the sled.”

“
Where is he?” I asked eagerly.

“
Hessa?”

I just glared at him. Wh
o else would I be talking about?

“
He’s in there.” He pointed to the air above the cleared railways tracks. I sighed, tired of everything being a riddle. I wished someone would just sit me down and tell me what the hell was going on.

I put my hands on my hips
. “Where?”

Deshi sighed too, impatiently. Then he took my hand
, guided it over the smooth surface, and pressed. Something pulled back with a whoosh and again I saw it flicker. It was like a rip in space. I stared at the dull blue floor and purple upholstered seats, facing each other over a plastic table. And there was Hessa, strapped into a seat, slapping his hands on the table. He gave me a toothless grin when he saw me.

I rushed to him
, covering him in kisses and stroking his beautiful, black hair, cursing myself for not being more present in his life. Joseph poked his head in the door, beaming. Like this was all normal—like it didn’t surprise him at all that Hessa was sitting in an invisible bubble hiding tacky upholstery. I wished I were more like that, able to roll with things. “Orry, do you want to sit with your brother?” Joseph asked the baby in his arms. Deshi’s face darkened a little, a twisted expression, almost like it was a painful thing to hear. I was offended. Did he think Hessa was too good for Orry?

“
Orry can’t sit yet,” I said. “Besides, we are not sitting anywhere until I find out what’s going on.” I set my mouth in a hard line. Joseph looked at me and nodded. Agreeing? Wow!

I stepped out of the room and the door closed behind me. Peering at it
closer, I could see it was not invisible. Its surface flickered and wobbled as I moved around it. When I stood in front of it for too long, it started taking on the colors of my white suit, my dark face, and, amusingly, my brown and blue eyes. The brown and white swirled together, polka dotted with blue. Very clever. Then I pressed my nose to it, observing all the little mirrored panels that made up its exterior. All of a sudden, I was confronted with a gigantic pair of defective eyes staring back at me. I jumped.

“
Can you stop staring at yourself and come over here?” Deshi yelled.

I used my hands to guide myself to the end of
it, feeling reverse blindness—a seeing person in an invisible world. I found the group of Survivors talking close to the other entrance of the tunnel. Although, I guess they were the survivors of the Survivors now. Alexei and Apella were positioned against the wall behind them. He was trying to coax Apella out of the sled, to no avail.

There were
seven of them left. Only seven. I expected them to be grieving or angry but they were busy discussing the next move.

Gus spoke first
. “We should wait until nightfall and take the spinners.” Cal was standing right next to him. When I peeked around the corner, his eyes lit up like I was on fire or something. Standing next to his father, it was surprising how alike they were. Same height, same hair, even their faces were almost identical in shape. I wondered if Gus went around kissing people without their permission. I grimaced at the thought of that thick, scratchy-looking beard anywhere near my face.

Joseph was listening, stroking his chin
and swaying from side to side with Orry in his other arm. I tried not to gaze at the golden facial hair he had grown in his coma, adorable little brushstrokes of pure, spun gold, catching the light. His expression was stern. “I need to know your names and what your intentions are before any decisions are made,” he said flatly. Apart from Matthew, everyone was looking up at him. The way he spoke, no one was going to argue.

Gus walked o
ver to him and shook his hand, introducing himself as the coordinator of the group. We already knew Matthew. Gus introduced Cal as his son and a contributor. Coordinator, contributor, these were words we didn’t understand the meanings of. Joseph shook his hand also. I saw Cal smirk as he approached and then wince when they shook, Joseph squeezing his hand too hard. I didn’t think that was necessary. Cal was still pumping his sore hand behind his back when Matthew introduced two other men and two women. “This is Gwen, Elisha, Bataar, and Hally,” He motioned to a tall, young woman, the woman who had ridden with us, and two dark men, similar in age to Gus, their skin leathery and wrinkled like raisins, muscular and gruff. We nodded in greeting.

“
As for our intentions… we could ask you the same thing,” Gus stated, his dark brows knotted in conversation with each other.

I scoffed.
“We don’t have any intentions; we’re just trying to survive.”

He shot me a disapproving stare at the same time as
a cold wind shot through the tunnel. It swirled around us, shrieking, drowning out my irritation. Memories knocked me back like the wind was trying to dig icy fingers into my arms and drag me backwards through time. Back there, Clara would die all over again. I felt an arm on my shoulder, light and shaky. Alexei.

“
I think what Rosa is trying to say is… we appreciate everything you have done for us but we need to know that we can trust you,” Alexei stuttered, dragging Apella by the arm into the circle. “Everything has happened so fast.”

“
You’ve been through a lot, I know, and it is hard to trust people, people different from you. But you can, trust us, I mean,” Matthew said clumsily. He seemed somewhat unsure of himself, which was unlike him.

The woman, Gwen, interrupted
. “We don’t have time for this!”

She was right.

The two groups stood opposite each other, like warring tribes. Lines drawn and redrawn. It dawned on me that we were no longer part of any tribe or group. We were only part of each other and those bonds were loose and fraying at best.

Joseph
stood up tall. “Look, I am just trying to protect my family.”

My shoulders pulled together at the words. I had the urge to make an excuse and creep away
, slide along the wall like a thief and run into the woods. Instead, I took a few steps into the middle of the group. “If we need to go, then let’s just go. But we need answers. Whoever is willing to give them can ride with me.” I scanned the group. Cal went to step forward but I shook my head. He was a worm I wanted to crush under my foot. Anyone but him. I wanted it to be Matthew but he was avoiding my eyes.

Gwen stepped forward
. “I don’t know why we’re making such a fuss. We have nothing to hide. I’ll answer any questions you like,” she said, her voice like a whip, tight and lashing. I didn’t recognize it from the conversation in the bathroom and was a little disappointed I couldn’t use what I had heard to catch them out. Gus looked like he was going to object but she glared at him and he turned away. Right then, I liked her.

Everyone
pushed their things into the remarkable carriages. Piles of crisp white sharper still against the blaring purple and dusty blue. Tracing the shape when the door was open, they were like giant marbles with a second sphere floating inside them. I heard Alexei exclaiming that they must be electromagnetic, whatever that meant. I squinted at the edge of the door, trying to decipher how they worked, but dogs barking distracted me and we were told to get in. Dogs and sleds went in the rear carriages with Bataar, and the rest settled in to wait for cover of dark.