The Wanderer (20 page)

“It was. We’ve had some real adrenaline-pumping missions. Especially out of the Bering Sea.” She shook her head. “I didn’t think I was ready for that.”

“And?”

“Kodiak was the best experience of my life.” She glowed a little bit when she said that. “It was my first permanent move with the Coast Guard after flight school. I had lost my parents a year before, had a little six-year-old along for the ride, it was one of the most challenging rescue locations in the U.S., and it was awesome. Sometimes a rescue station is as good as its commander, and ours was incredible. That’s where Landon started playing ball with the commander’s youngest son. Commander Titchke took us under his wing. He not only helped us settle in, and his family helped me with Landon, but he trained me in the Bering Sea. I did things—the team did things—I never imagined we’d do. Once we had two ships taking on water on opposite sides of the island in a storm so violent we couldn’t even drop a line. Seven souls on one, four on another, plus injuries. And we brought them in. It took four crews, it took pulling crew members off vacations or days off, but we saved eleven people that day. Risk management for that operation was tight as I’ve ever seen. There was no room for error or we’d not only lose the vessels and injured, we’d lose the rescue crews. I think my heart pounded for a month.” She took a bite. “I have a lot of stories like that from Kodiak. I could bore you for hours.”

He couldn’t help but grin at her. “It sounds scary fun.”

“It gets in your blood, I think. That rush.”

“You like the edge. You’re a wild woman.”

“Nah. I never take unnecessary chances, never. It’s precise and sometimes I can be a perfectionist and...”

“Sometimes?” he asked with a laugh as their salads arrived.

“I let you eat calamari while I bored you with Coast Guard stories. It’s your turn—tell me about your flying. About Iraq and your civilian gigs.”

Even though Cooper had gone to Iraq in a Black Hawk right at the beginning of the war, somehow it just didn’t seem as wildly exciting as what Sarah had done, was doing. But he told her about it. He was six years in the Army, then got out to pursue civilian flying. Since work was hard to find, he worked for civilian contractors hired by the U.S. in foreign countries—an expatriate, a mercenary. Eventually, he ended up working for oil companies.

“Was it good work?” she asked just as their main courses were delivered.

“I’d say so. And the money was good. It was easy work most of the time, good people. And then there was a big oil spill. Major. National news for months, billions of dollars of damage. It made the
Valdez
look like a dress rehearsal. A couple of the platforms I was flying to shut down—we pulled all the people off. I’ve never seen anything like it. Of course I’d watched news reports of spills before, but there’s nothing like actually seeing it. The company had to downsize and I was more than willing to walk.

“I worked for two more companies after that, flying to offshore wells, but I couldn’t stop seeing what might happen. It wasn’t my business—I was flying—I didn’t compromise safety. My boss, the chief pilot, didn’t compromise safety. But...” He shook his head. “Once you see what a major spill can do to a few towns on the coast and a big piece of ocean, it just gets to you. You know?”

She smiled patiently. “The Coast Guard is the environment’s friend, Cooper. You know that.”

“I know. So I quit that last job and planned to take a few months off, meet Ben and another friend to hunt in the mountains. I was looking for a break long enough to decide where to go and what to do next. Then everything changed with Ben’s death. I’ll get another flying job,” he said. “But I think it’ll have to be a different kind of flying job.”

“When?”

“I don’t know. After Christmas, maybe. After the bar’s looking good and I can sell it. I have to figure out how to deal with that.”

She grinned. “Ray Anne will help you unload it, I’m sure.”

“How did you know?” he asked, because he hadn’t said anything about Ray Anne’s real estate ambitions.

She gave him a slow smile. “I’m just brilliant, that’s all.”

“What about you?” he asked. “How long will you be here?”

“In about a year, I’ll be looking at assignments. Landon will be a senior. If it goes the way we’ve planned, Landon will know where he wants to go to college by then. With any luck, he’ll have an early acceptance. I can manage to sit tight until he graduates. And I’ll try my best not to be too far away.” She looked down at her pasta. “He’ll need family close enough to visit while he’s in college. It’s different when it’s just two of us.”

He could only smile at her, give her a nod. She was a remarkable woman. She did a difficult and demanding job, but it didn’t change her first priority—her brother.

He admired her. That hadn’t happened to him in a long while.

* * *

On her second glass of wine, Sarah forgot to be afraid of her feelings toward Cooper. She experienced a lift in her spirits that she hadn’t felt in too long. She’d been so hurt and angry she’d forgotten how wonderful it was to laugh, to have something in common with a date, to feel friendship growing. To lust, because she was feeling that, too. Her evening with Cooper was perfect. They listened to each other’s work and flying stories intensely, they laughed over foibles and family issues—Cooper had a fairly large extended family and while she had no one to speak of, raising Landon had been worth a laugh or two. They growled in unison when the conversation turned to Jag Morrison and his family. She enjoyed him. He was intelligent, funny and, oh, mama, was he handsome. Although he was mostly flirtatiousness and wit, there was a warmth about him that embraced her.

And he’d be moving away soon. Perfect.

The food was delicious, the small restaurant perfect. Sarah realized this was the thing she’d been missing. A companion.

As they walked out to his truck, she said, “Thank you, Cooper. I enjoyed that.”

“Good. We’ll do it again.”

She laughed softly. “My first date since...well, since my ex moved out. Over a year ago.”

He threaded his fingers through hers. “My first date in a while, too.”

“Who was your last date?” she asked.

He stopped walking. “I have to think. It was probably Judy, a woman I met in Corpus Christi. About a year ago. Interesting woman. But it was one date. I don’t know how to explain why. It just didn’t click.”

“Well,” she said with a laugh, “I was pretty pissed at our first meeting. And I take this to mean you think we clicked. Or maybe you like angry women? Either that or there aren’t any other women in this town you’ll take a chance on.”

“There are plenty of women around,” he said. He touched her cheek with a gentle finger. “It’s early.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Come back to my place for a while. It’s not much, but it’s comfortable. Your house is vulnerable—could be teenagers there, taking advantage of the fact that you’re out for the evening. I could make you a cup of coffee. Or a drink.” He shrugged. He grinned. “I’m flexible.”

Sarah thought,
We both know what we want.

He leaned down to put a soft kiss on her mouth. “Take a chance on me, Sarah. I can play by your rules.”

It had been so long since a man seemed to know her, know what she needed, wanted. She nodded. “I think a cup of coffee at your place would be all right.”

Fourteen

C
ooper opened the door to his RV and let Sarah step inside first. He’d left a dim light on over the stove. It cast a gentle glow on the room and when he closed the door, he slipped an arm around her and pulled her close. He placed a soft kiss on her lips. “Just let me get my arms around you for a second and then I’ll make some—”

She put her hands on his cheeks and pulled his mouth down to hers, cutting him off. Lips touched lips for a mere second before his arms tightened around her and he took her mouth by storm, opening his mouth over hers. A growl came from deep inside him as he went after her. She purred and he groaned. Then he turned with her in his arms and pressed her against the wall just inside the door. Her arms were locked around his neck and he ran a hand over her butt, down the back of her thigh and lifted her leg from behind the knee to his hip, pushing himself against her.

He was hard that fast. No big surprise. He’d been having hard thoughts all the way home, even though they’d talked and laughed like old friends. This was still completely unplanned, but he thrust his pelvis against hers. And she pushed back.

“Jesus, Sarah...” he murmured against her mouth.

Her fingers threaded into the short hair over his ears and she clung to him, kissing him deeply, welcoming his tongue. And she whispered, “Uh-huh...”

His hand found a breast, then slipped under her sweater and found more of a breast, though still covered by a lacy bra. He ran a finger around the lace, found her neck with his mouth and kissed, sucked, ran a thumb over her erect nipple. “God,” he whispered. “Jesus. God.”

She chuckled softly. “Are you praying?”

“Oh, God, yes,” he whispered, grinding against her. “Or begging...maybe that’s just begging....”

He made a study of her neck, ear, temple and chin with his lips, with his tongue, going back to her mouth again and again, growing breathless and crazy. He pushed up her sweater and found that nipple with his lips. And then she slid her arms from around his neck to his waist, from his waist to his butt, pulling him against her. And she hummed.

He ran that hand over her bottom and down her thigh to that raised knee again, but this time he went all the way to her heel and slid off her boot. Those delicious tight jeans wouldn’t come off over the boot.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes.”

His fingers found the waist of her jeans, the snap, the zipper. He slid a hand inside, lower and lower, until he was feeling a soft tuft of hair and then the damp softness of her. God, she was at least as turned-on as he. Ready, so ready. That’s all it took to have him praying again. But he said, “This is crazy. Good crazy. So good...”

“Crazy,” she agreed, just as her hands found the snap of his jeans. “Good.”

Cooper kept telling himself to slow down, to slow
way
down, to let go and find a place to lay her down, but he couldn’t seem to get past the lust barrier and neither could she. When she lowered his zipper, it got even more desperate and complicated. As she took him in her hand, his head almost exploded and he muttered, “Condom. Condom. Condom.”

He had to let go of her briefly to get into his back pocket. He fumbled to find the condom, but once it was in his hand, she took it away from him. “Let me,” she said. But she took her time with him, enjoying him for a while, stroking him, kissing him all the while.

“Sarah,” he begged. “Get on with it. Please.”

She suited him up, then slid her leg down from his hip. He gently but a little desperately lowered her jeans, pulling off one leg, then the other. He probed her with his fingers then lifted her off the ground, her back against the wall. A million possible endearments ran through his head. But he said, “Help.”

She threaded her hand between their bodies, found him, helped him find his way inside. He was half out of his mind and long past thinking logically; he slid in and gave a deep groan. She, on the other hand, gave a rather loud “Ahh!” He held her still and fast for a long moment. Then, holding her up under her thighs, he began to move, every thrust bringing him closer to an insane, brainless ecstasy. He thought about saying he was sorry, that he’d make it up to her later, but then she cried out. Her legs tightened around him, her internal muscles clenched and pulled the most amazing orgasm out of him as she came. And came. Her arms locked around his neck; she moaned in pleasure; she held him so tight as he plunged into her again and again and again. It was a long time before all that pelvic action slowed then stopped. Cooper was completely out of breath; his knees went weak. She was panting and holding on for dear life.

“Baby,” he said in a desperate whisper. “Please don’t move.”

“I can’t.” She sighed.

“Just don’t move,” he said again. “You could break off meaningful parts....”

She sighed again, nuzzling, kissing his cheek.

“Honey...Sarah...I’m sorry, baby....”

“Sorry?” she asked weakly.

“Jesus, I took you. Against the wall. In three minutes. And you still have your jacket on.”

She was quiet a moment. “That’s a relief. I thought I took you.”

“That, too. My God. Don’t move. That was... I can’t even describe that. It was... Jeez.”

“I’m getting a little uncomfortable.”

“Soon,” he said. He kissed her neck, then her lips. “Soon.” He kissed her again, with passion. “Ah, Sarah. I’m surprised I have legs. I’ve never...”

“Never? You certainly acted like you knew what you were doing. Come on, Cooper. I have to get down now. Please?”

He pulled his head back just slightly to look down at them. Her jacket hung off one shoulder, her sweater pushed up over her breasts, and she was naked from the waist down. His sweater was askew, his shirttails hanging out, and his pants drooped. He laughed. “We look like we just survived a hurricane.” He lifted her up a bit, let her drop her legs to the ground. But he kept his hands on her bare butt. “No coffee tonight, baby. Bed. We have to go to bed.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at him. “What if I don’t want to go to bed?”

“Then you’ll be getting real familiar with this wall.” He hoisted up his pants but didn’t bother zipping. Then he bent down, grabbed her jeans in one hand and scooped her up in his arms. He carried her up the three steps to his bedroom, putting her down on the bed. He helped her out of her jacket, removed his and said, “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.” And he left the room.

The bathroom was very close to the bedroom, of course. Everything was close to everything—it was a trailer. While he was in the bathroom, she yelled, “I’m feeling a little...
exposed
here.”

“Get under the covers,” he yelled back.

“I’m not sure I’m in the mood for that. What if I want coffee?”

He walked back into the room. Hands on his hips, jeans still unzipped, he loomed over her. He smiled at her. “You know what I realized about thirty seconds after opening the door tonight? You didn’t want coffee.” Then he pulled his sweater over his head.

“Now what?” she asked.

He reached for the hem of her sweater and pulled it off. “I want to hold you. And maybe try regular sex, if the spirit moves us.”

“What’s that?” she asked, automatically unhooking her bra and tossing it.

“You know,” he said, getting rid of his boots and pants. “The plain old regular but excellent kind, complete with foreplay, which we didn’t get to before. No danger of back injury or broken bones, but very good just the same.” He pulled the covers back and she twisted into them. He crawled in beside her and pulled her into his arms. “Although, what we just did...I think that was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Or one of the best things that’s ever been done to me. I don’t think there’s any way to top it.” He pulled her closer, kissed her cheek, running his big callused hand over her soft skin.

“I’m feeling a little unsure of myself,” she said, snuggling closer to him. “I’ve never done this before.”

“What? Vanilla sex?”

“Sex without any commitment at all. I mean, I’ve had plenty of sex, don’t get me wrong. Okay, not plenty...not that much, actually. But I always thought it was going somewhere. That there was love. Or something.”

“Well, don’t write me off so fast,” Cooper said. “Maybe in about an hour and a half, you’ll think you love me.”

“But I’m afraid of that—I don’t ever want to be in love again. I can’t get involved, you know that. For a hundred reasons. I’m vulnerable. I just got divorced. I have major responsibilities. But I’ve never even considered something like this before—sex with someone I like, but without any emotional investment.”

And, Cooper thought, that was the only kind he’d ever had. He was usually the one to say
I can’t get involved.
He’d had a lot of logical reasons, some like hers. He was being deployed or transferred, moving, just broke up with someone, you name it. There were a couple of times he had forgotten to say he couldn’t get involved and he’d ended up engaged, wondering what the hell had happened. But he’d never really been in love. Not even close. And here he was, suddenly wondering what that would feel like. Wondering what he’d been missing.

“I’m not sure I know what to do,” she said.

He ran his fingers through the short hair over her temple. “You don’t have to know anything, honey. You just have to be yourself, be honest, tell me what you need and let it happen naturally. I’m not going to try to trip you up.”

“You won’t have...expectations?”

He shook his head.

“You won’t use me for sex and then just turn your back on me? Suddenly?”

“Hey, I’m not a bad guy. We wouldn’t be together right now if we didn’t like each other. I never turn my back on a friend. No matter what.”

“I can trust you, then?”

“You can trust me.”

“You won’t be with other women while you’re with me? Because I’d have to kill you.”

“I wouldn’t do that. I might not be a settling-down kind of guy, but I’m definitely a one-woman-at-a-time kind of guy.”

“That’s all I want right now—to be the only woman with a guy who I like and who I trust. A friend. Oh, man, don’t ever let me have two glasses of wine again,” she said.

“You can’t blame the wine,” he said.

She tilted her head and smiled into his eyes. “You’re right. I’m just so tired of not having a friend. And because...well, that up-against-the-wall thing is one of the best things that ever happened to me.”

He smiled back, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’ll have to start lifting weights, so I’m sure to keep you happy.” Then his smile vanished and he kissed her. “Right now, I think we should try the old-fashioned kind—no trapeze, no props, no 6.8 difficulty.”

She slid her hand down his belly and found out what he was talking about. She closed her hand around him and his eyes rolled back in his head. He wanted her again. Bad.

* * *

Sarah wasn’t the first woman Cooper had been involved with who had kids. There hadn’t been many—and there’d never been one with a sixteen-year-old at home—but he didn’t have to be told how important it was that she set an example for Landon.

He pulled up in front of her house at eleven-thirty. Landon’s truck was already in the carport beside her SUV.

“Do I look like I just had a fattening dinner and a couple of hours of wonderful sex?” she asked him.

Cooper lifted her chin and turned her face to and fro. “If he doesn’t look into your eyes, you’re safe.”

“Swell.”

“If he recognizes that flush and glow, it’s time to have another one of those sex talks with him,” Cooper suggested.

“He says if I bring up safe and responsible sex one more time, he’s running away from home.”

Cooper laughed at her. “You’ll be fine.” He gave her a brief kiss. “Sweet dreams.”

He watched her go into the house before he drove away across the beach. The sand was hard packed close to the hill. There were a few people on the beach, sitting close to a campfire. He wasn’t sure if they were kids or adults—he didn’t see any all-terrain vehicles or motorcycles. But he wasn’t worried. In fact, it gave him a good feeling to have someone using the beach.

When he went inside the trailer, the first thing he noticed was her scent. He wasn’t sure if she’d left it behind or if it was still on his breath, his tongue. The place seemed oddly empty without her there.

He cracked open a beer and went to his bedroom, sitting on the rumpled sheets, flicking on the TV. But he didn’t watch. He thought about Sarah and the way her body felt beneath his hands, the way he felt inside her. Her laugh. Her sarcasm.
That’s a relief. I thought I took you.
Her sincerity and honesty. She wanted to have a relationship without strings, but didn’t really know how. Ha. He was so glad he hadn’t confessed that seemed to be the only kind he knew how to have.

He wanted her with him tonight, through the night. He’d wanted plenty of women, but there was something fresh about this time. It was new. It was deep. There wasn’t anything confusing about it—it was honest. He could already feel her hooks in him. He was an expert at not caring deeply, yet this time it wasn’t working for him. He wanted her in every way—physically, intellectually, emotionally. And she didn’t want him back in that way. In fact, she needed his help in remaining unattached.