The Wanton Widow - A Regency Novella (5 page)

“
M-maybe you were married to the wrong man?” Edward suggested. “M-maybe if you found the right man, he could make you--”

“
Enough!” Willow interrupted. She shouted so loudly, she made Eddie lurch. “Enough about me. Let us talk about you, Edward. Are you still infatuated with... what was her name?”

“
Miss Abrahms.”

“
Right. Miss Abrahms.” The puppy started chewing the ends of her hair, so she tossed her wild locks over her shoulder.

“
Jane Abrahms is an angel. Her face is like porcelain, her eyes are like a doll's eyes. Her hair looks like spun gold, and she has the most delicate little nose I have ever seen,” Edward said. “So to answer your question... yes. I believe I
might
be infatuated with her.” He ended his sentence with a chuckle.

“
You didn't stammer.”

“
Pardon?”

“
You didn't stammer. When you were describing Miss Abrahms... you never stuttered.”

“
Well, as long as I d-do st-stutter, I have no chance of wooing her.”

“
But I still believe you could overcome it!” Willow exclaimed. “Do you think I could help you?”

“
H-how do you intend to help me?”

When she stopped petting him, Eddie rolled onto his back and started kicking the air with his padded feet. That did the trick, because her hands were back on his belly in an instant.

“
I can help you woo the woman of your dreams,” Willow said. “And I can help you overcome your stammer. Every time I hear you stumble on your words... I'll pinch you.”

“
Pinch me?!”

“
Yes. I'll pinch you. But I won't pinch too hard, as I wouldn't want to hurt you.”

“
Is this really something I should s-subject myself to?”

Willow pinched his arm.

“
Ah!” Edward scooted a few inches away from her. “You're t-terrible!”

She leaned toward him and pinched him again.

“
Don't complain, Edward! It might work!” Willow exclaimed.

Edward rubbed his arm and pouted. It wasn't as if she
really
hurt him, and he knew he was being a baby, but he had to protest somehow. “I don't know if I like this.”

“
If, after a few weeks, I deem you completely hopeless... then I'll stop. But for now, I would say it's something worth trying.” Willow reached toward him again, which made him flinch, but all she did was tousle his hair. With his hair in disarray, she thought he looked adorable. He was actually quite cute, in an unconventional way, not unlike the puppy that was snoring in her lap.

Snoring
?! The mutt had endured more excitement than it could handle, because it had fallen asleep.

“
And...” Willow went on, “I'll teach you how to flirt.”

“
Oh?”

“
Yes. Here's what I suggest...” Willow leaned closer and started whispering, as if she feared they would be overheard. “The next time you see me, I want you to flirt with me. Pretend I am Miss Abrahms and say all sorts of sweet things to me. I'll tell you what works, and I'll tell you what doesn't work.”

“
You think that would help?”

“
I do!” Willow said. “It will help you gain confidence. I truly believe you could benefit from the Wilomena Worthington School of Wooing.”

“
V-very well,” he agreed. “I suppose I am willing to t-try anything.”

Edward knew what was coming next.

She pinched him again.

Chapter Six

“
Mr. Harcourt is here to see you, madam.”

When she heard the butler's announcement, Willow had a surprising reaction. Not only did her heart start beating faster, she had butterflies in her stomach. She couldn't control her smile as it stretched across the entire length of her face.

“
You look happy,” said Lord Mowbray, who was sitting across from her in the sitting room.

“
I am.”

“
I wouldn't have thought that stuttering simpleton would have such an effect on you,” Philip said with a snort. “And why is he here to see
you
and not me? Is this something that should fill me with concern?”

“
Not at all! I am... helping him with something.” Willow rose from the settee and checked herself in the looking glass, making sure every hair was in its rightful place. She had pinned her hair and worn a simple white frock—it was her best attempt at looking like a proper lady. She was, after all, supposed to be playing the role of Miss Abrahms.

“
And what are you helping him with, my dear?”

As Willow rolled her eyes, she watched her reflection make the same gesture. There was something about the way he said
my dear
that sounded so... empty.

“
I am helping him overcome his stutter,” she said. “And I am going to help him woo Miss Abrahms.”

“
Well, don't be gone too long.” Philip, who currently had his face lodged in the London Post, turned his newspaper's page. “You know I miss you so.”

Without another word, Willow rushed out of the sitting room. She bounded down the stairs and into the foyer, where Edward Harcourt was waiting for her. When he pulled a flower from behind his back, a single tulip, it was all she could do to keep her stomach from coiling in knots.

“
A flower for you, Willow,” he said, careful not to stutter. After yesterday's pinching session, he was focusing all his energy on controlling his tongue.

“
Thank you, Mr. Harcourt,” Willow answered, with added emphasis on the formality. Today, after all, she was playing the part of the consummate lady. She took the flower and spun the stem between her fingers. “It is a pleasure to see you again.”

“
The pleasure is all m-m...” Edward winced, because he knew he had failed. Sighing, he completed his sentence. “Mine.”

Willow pinched his elbow, then she grabbed his arm and took him down the hallway, around a corner, and into the sitting room where they had convened the previous day. Edward took a seat in one of the chairs, so Willow sat across from him on the settee. They were silent for several seconds, so she leaned forward, expectantly.

When he didn't say anything for at least a minute, Willow said, “The flower was a nice surprise.”

“
Was it?” Edward asked with a shrug. “I was worried the lone flower wouldn't be impressive on its own. The next time I encounter Miss Abrahms, should I go with a single flower, or should I present her with a full b-bouquet?”

Willow caught his stutter, so she pinched his knee. “I think it would depend on the lady. If she has a penchant for extravagant things, a bouquet might be more appropriate. Myself, however... I am more touched by the single flower, for it seems more like a spontaneous gesture of romance.” Willow slipped the flower behind her ear and smiled.

“
Wh-where is Eddie?”

Of course, she pinched him again. “My canine companion is currently pestering the cooks in the kitchen.”

“
Does Philip want to wring my neck? For bringing the puppy?”

“
Possibly,” Willow admitted with a grin. “I did not realize he wasn't a fan of animals. It is a good thing we will never be married, for I could never spend my life with a man who did not appreciate the company of dogs.”

“
Would you marry him? If he were to propose?”

Willow shook her head so fast, she accidentally dislodged the tulip. As she retrieved the flower from the floor, she said, “Never. No. I could not imagine him as my husband. Fortunately, it will never come to that, for I'm quite certain he wouldn't want me for a wife.” Before he could say anything else on the matter, Willow straightened her back and promptly changed the subject. “So, Edward, pay me a compliment, and I will tell you if it is appropriate. Say something to me that you might say to Miss Abrahms.”

“
You...” Edward took a moment to scratch his head. He hoped she would not mistake his hesitation for a stutter, for he wasn't too keen on the idea of getting pinched again. “You have lovely hair?”

“
That sounded like a question!” Willow exclaimed. “You'll have to do better than that, I'm afraid. Say it like you mean it.”

“
I
do
mean what I say,” Edward insisted. “Your hair looks lovely today, Willow.”

“
Thank you, Mr. Harcourt.”

“
And... your eyes,” he went on. “You have very beautiful eyes.”

“
Oh, please!” She shook her head with disbelief. “I
know
that is a lie! My eyes are plain and brown and boring!”

“
They are not!” Edward rose from his chair and sat beside her on the settee. He placed his thumb under her chin and coaxed her to look in his direction, so he could see her eyes in the light. “You have beautiful eyes. They're brown... but they also have a bit of green in them. And tiny flecks of gold.”

Willow tilted her head in the direction of his hand, wishing he would cup her cheek. “You make them sound prettier than they are.”

“
No,” he protested again. “I couldn't possibly, for no words could do them justice.”

She could feel her lips quivering a bit as she smiled. His compliments sounded nice, but she wondered if they were genuine. He was, after all, supposed to be practicing. “Your Miss Abrahms... what color are her eyes?”

“
Blue,” he said. “Like a pleasant summer sky.”

“
And her hair?”

“
Flaxen. Like--”

Willow interrupted before he could say anything more. “Oh, yes. That's right. I remember you said her hair was like... spun gold. Nevertheless, it seems you are quite adept at paying compliments, Mr. Harcourt. Even though your compliments were feigned, they made my heart race.”

“
F-feigned?!” Edward repeated with a stutter, which earned him another pinch. “I was not feigning anything, Willow. You have beautiful hair and enchanting eyes.”

“
That is... I mean to say, I...” His compliments were dangerously close to making
her
stutter. “That is very kind of you, Edward. As you know, I think your green eyes are very fine indeed.”

“
My eyes... and nothing else,” Edward said with a sigh. “Even if I stop stuttering, even if I can pay a compliment, it won't matter if I'm not the least bit attractive.”

“
Nonsense! You're very handsome!” Willow gave his hair a few strokes. His combed style was usually so severe; she preferred it a bit messier. “All you need is a tousled fringe and a bit of confidence, and you'll have her mooning over you. You know what else might help?”

“
I am afraid to ask.”

“
Miss Abrahms needs to see you as a prime catch... she needs to think you are desirable. Women want what they can't have, and they want what other women want.”

Edward scratched his head. “I think I might be lost.”

“
What I'm saying, is...” Willow took a deep breath before continuing, “if she happened to see you out with
me
, it might work to your advantage. If she thinks I want you, she might want you for herself!”

“
So your plan is to make me unattainable?”

“
No, not quite. My plan is to make you more desirable.”

All of a sudden, the door to the sitting room popped open. Eddie the puppy had nudged his way in. He sprinted into the room and flew onto Willow's lap, which made her erupt with a giggle.

“
I c-can see that someone was eager to see you again,” Edward said.

Willow was so surprised by the mutt's arrival, she missed Edward's stutter. “Indeed! If only Philip was half as happy to see me!”

“
Eddie gets to nestle himself in your lap! Of course he's happy!”

“
Aw. Are you jealous, Mr. Harcourt?” Willow nudged her shoulder against his. “If you'd like, you're welcome to rest your head in my lap. I think I would rather enjoy being cuddled by Edward and Eddie at the same time.”

As she spoke, she kept staring into Edward's eyes. He wondered if she would notice he was blushing. “I-I-I... I don't... y-your offer is very kind, but--”

For variation, Willow pinched his cheek. “No more stuttering, Edward!” she chided him.

“
My apologies. It's j-just that... I believe the t-topic of con-conversation had me tongue-tied.”

Willow pinched him three times, once for every word he minced. “Would you mind if I sat in
your
lap, Mr. Harcourt?”

“
I--” Edward closed his eyes and concentrated on his words. “I don't think Philip would be too pleased with that.”

“
Well, I was only teasing. Your timidity is so adorable, I simply
must
exploit it!” Willow looked down at the puppy, hiding her face from Edward's view.
S
he
was blushing too. The fact of the matter was, she actually
wanted
to sit in his lap, and the fact that he declined was somewhat disappointing. “So it is true, by the way? What Philip said about you?”