The Weight of Small Things (18 page)

32

C
orrie slept fitfully that night, waking at every small noise, but Mark did not come home.

She woke early, feeling groggy and disoriented. She had to go back to work today. The winter issue was in production.

She trudged down to the kitchen and stopped short in the doorway. Mark sat at the breakfast bar, a cup of coffee in his hand. He didn’t look at her.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Where have you been?”

“I stayed with my folks,” he said, staring at the coffee cup.

“Do they know?”

He nodded.

“Oh God,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged.

She poured a cup of coffee and sat beside him at the counter.

“Do you hate me?” she asked.

“I don’t know how I feel right now,” he said.

“I’m so sorry,” she repeated.

“I know.”

He stood and put his cup in the sink.

“I’m going to stay with Mom and Dad for now, until I can find an apartment. You can stay here. It’s really always been your house, anyway.”

She stared at him in silence for a minute.

“You’re moving out?”

He nodded. “I can’t stay here. I need some time and space to think about things.”

“I’ll sleep in the guest room, and you can have the bedroom,” she said, her voice catching. “Please don’t leave.”

He shook his head. Finally, he looked at her.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” he said softly. “I can’t believe I did that.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. It’s not okay at all. That’s why I can’t stay. I’m too angry right now. I need to just be by myself.”

Corrie stood, willing herself not to cry.

“Please stay,” she whispered. “We can work this out if we try.”

He shook his head again.

“I don’t know how,” he said. “Especially if this baby is . . . isn’t mine.”

“It will be yours.” Corrie was begging now. “If you want it, this baby will be yours.”

“Damn it!” Mark slammed his fist on the counter. “You can’t just pretend like it will be fine, Corrie.”

Tears welled in her eyes.

“Look,” he said. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stay. Not now. I need some time. I just came by to get some things.”

“Okay.” Her voice was small.

Mark got his suitcase from the laundry room, where he’d left it. Then he went upstairs, closing their bedroom door behind him.

Corrie sat at the kitchen table, her head cradled in her hands, tears dripping from her face.

Fifteen minutes later, Mark reappeared, lugging his suitcase and a garment bag.

“I’ll talk to you later,” he said.

“When?”

“I don’t know, Corrie. Just later.”

He left, closing the door behind him.

Corrie sat for a long time, crying until her head ached. Finally, she got up, took a shower, dressed, and went to work.

33

B
ryn chewed her lip as she pulled into the sweeping driveway of her parents’ house, the house she’d grown up in. Funny that she never called it home.

Her mother had sounded surprised when she called. Bryn hadn’t been to visit in nearly a year. But Keri had said to come; she would change her plans so she could be here.

“Here goes nothing,” Bryn said as she got out of the car.

She rang the doorbell and, after a minute, her mother answered. She hugged Bryn lightly and led her into the living room.

“Hi, sweetheart. How are you? It’s been such a long time.”

“I know,” Bryn said. “I’m sorry. I’ve just been really busy.”

“I know, sometimes life intervenes. I’m just glad you’re here. Sit down. Do you want some coffee?”

“No, thanks.”

Bryn perched on the edge of an ornate wing chair.

“So, what brings you home today?” Keri asked.

“Well, actually, I have some news.” Bryn sat opposite her mother and tried to smile.

“Don’t tell me you and Paul are finally getting married? Oh honey, it’s about time!”

“No, Mom. Actually, I, um . . . well, I’ve left Paul.”

“Oh.” Keri raised her eyebrows. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” Bryn said. “Actually, I’m better than all right. I’m pregnant!”

Keri’s eyes widened. “You’re what?”

“I’m pregnant. I’m going to have a baby.”

“Is it Paul’s?”

“God, Mom! Of course it’s Paul’s.”

“But then . . . why are you leaving him?”

Bryn sighed. “Because Paul is not father material. He’s never going to grow up and be a responsible adult. He’s never going to change, and I can’t just keep waiting on him to.”

“But, Bryn, how are you going to take care of a baby all on your own?”

“Well, I have good friends. And lots of women do it.”

“But you hardly make enough money to take care of yourself! Babies are expensive, honey. Paul may not be perfect, but at least he makes a decent salary.”

“Look, all Paul does is sit around the apartment smoking pot and watching television. I don’t want my baby to grow up around that.”

“Paul uses drugs?”

“Not drugs, Mom. Just pot. But it’s all he does.”

“Does he know you’re pregnant?”

“Yes. He suggested I get an abortion.”

“He didn’t!”

“Yeah, he did.”

“Well, good riddance then!”

Bryn nodded.

“But, honey, how are you going to make it on your own?”

“I have a good client base now, Mom. I make enough to live on.”

“Maybe you should move back home. You can have your old room, and I could make the guest room into a nursery.”

“No, Mom. I’m not moving in with you and Dad.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have a life.” Bryn stood and took her mother’s hands. “Look, I appreciate it, I really do. But my life is in Middlebrook.”

“You can work from anywhere.”

“Not just my work, Mom. My friends are there, my whole support system is there. Besides, I’m thirty-two years old. I’m perfectly capable of supporting myself and this baby.”

“I think I need a drink.”

Bryn followed her into the kitchen, where Keri poured herself a glass of chardonnay.

“I’d offer you a glass, but you can’t drink if you’re pregnant.”

“That’s okay. I’ll have a glass of orange juice.”

Keri poured the juice and they sat at the kitchen table.

“So,” Keri said, “when are you due?”

“May twelfth.”

“Well, we’ll have a shower in April. Will that be okay? Just a few friends and family. Maybe we’ll do it at the club.”

“Sure, Mom.” Bryn smiled. This was going better than she had imagined it would.

“Bryn?” Keri set her glass on the table. “If you’ve left Paul, where are you living?”

“I’ve been staying with Bob Carter. Do you remember him?”

“Isn’t he married to that awful woman with the red hair, the loud one?”

“Yeah, but he and Wendy are separated now. She left him for another guy.”

“Good lord! Don’t they have children?”

“Two boys,” Bryn said. “Bob is going for full custody.”

“So you are living with Bob while he’s going through a divorce and custody battle? Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“I’m not living with Bob. I’m just staying in his guest room until I find a place of my own.”

Keri shook her head. “I don’t understand your generation at all. When we got married, we married for life, for better or worse. You all don’t even bother getting married. And when you do, it seems like it’s a temporary arrangement.”

Bryn took a drink of juice. She had no answers for her mother.

“Well, it’s a different world, I suppose.” Keri rose and rinsed her glass in the sink.

“So, you’re going to look for an apartment in Middlebrook?”

Bryn nodded.

“How much do they rent for down there?”

“Well, Paul’s is a two-bedroom and we were paying just over six hundred a month.”

“Can you swing that on your own?”

“I think so.”

“Well, if you need help, you ask. Do you hear me? Don’t be too proud to ask. Your father and I are always here if you need us.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Bryn rose and hugged her mother.

“A grandbaby,” Keri said, smiling. “I’m going to be a grandma.”

“Yes, you are.”

“My baby is going to be a mommy.”

Bryn smiled.

“Well, let’s go get some lunch,” Keri said. “And then let’s do some serious shopping. I haven’t been baby shopping in years. Oh, this is going to be fun!”

 

Bryn arrived home that evening just before dinner.

“Hey!” Bob grinned at her from the front porch. “How did it go?”

“Actually, it was great! I can’t believe how well she took it.”

“Good!” he said. “It looks like she bought out a store or two.”

Bryn dropped the four large bags she carried on the ground.

“I think this kid has enough clothes to last till kindergarten,” she said. “And you should see what’s in my trunk. She bought a car seat and a baby swing and a porta-crib. I think she may actually have gone insane.”

Bob laughed and hugged her.

“I’m glad it went well,” he said. “I told you, a baby makes everything right with the world.”

He picked up the bags and carried them into the house, Bryn following.

“Where are the boys?” she asked. The house was strangely quiet.

“They’re having a night out with Wendy’s parents. Carla called today and asked if they could see them.”

“Is that okay?” Bryn asked. “I mean, they won’t take the boys back to Wendy, will they?”

“No. They don’t see Wendy at all anymore. They’re pretty much appalled at what she’s doing.”

“I don’t blame them,” Bryn said. “It’s pretty appalling.”

“So, I guess it’s just the two of us for dinner. There’s some leftover stew in the fridge.”

“Sounds good. Let me just change into my sweats, okay? I’m ready to relax.”

Bryn carried the bags of baby clothes to her room. When she reappeared, in gray sweatpants and a red shirt, she carried a tiny sleeper. “Isn’t this just the cutest thing you ever saw?”

Bob smiled. “Pretty cute.”

“Hey,” Bryn said, plopping down on the couch. “Do you mind if we ask Corrie to eat with us?”

“Sure,” Bob said. “Is Mark out of town again?”

Bryn took a deep breath.

“No,” she said. “He’s in town. He’s just not at home.”

Bob raised his eyebrows.

“Corrie told him about what happened with Daniel.”

“Oh lord,” he said. “I bet that went over well.”

“And that’s not all,” Bryn continued. “Bob, Corrie is pregnant.”

Bob’s eyes widened.

“Oh my God,” he said. “Is the baby Daniel’s?”

“She doesn’t know for sure.”

Bob leaned his head against the wall. “What a mess,” he said.

“Yeah,” Bryn agreed.

“Does Mark know she’s pregnant?”

Bryn nodded.

“And he’s left her?”

She nodded again.

Bob sat down heavily in the recliner and shook his head.

“I can’t believe this,” he said. “Corrie’s so . . . she’s just so good, you know? She never breaks the rules. She always does the right thing. And now, it just doesn’t seem fair.”

“I know,” Bryn said. “She’s torn up about it.”

“I’ll bet. Does she know that I know about Daniel?”

Bryn nodded.

“Well, you call her and tell her to come for dinner. We’ll do what we can to cheer her up.”

Bryn rose and kissed the top of his head.

“You really are the dearest man.”

He grinned at her.

“You call, and I’ll start heating up the stew.”

34

C
orrie arrived bearing a large bunch of chrysanthemums and a loaf of sourdough bread.

“Hey,” Bob said, wrapping her in a hug. “You all right?”

She leaned against his chest for a minute.

“No,” she said. “Not really.”

“You will be,” he said. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Hi!” Bryn called from the kitchen. “Wait till you see all the stuff my mom bought for the baby.”

She walked into the dining room carrying a large pot of hot stew.

“You told her?” Corrie asked.

“Yep.” Bryn nodded, setting the pot on the table.

“How did it go?”

“So well! I can’t even believe how well it went.”

“Bryn, that’s great. I’m so glad.”

“I know! It was almost like, ‘Who are you, and what have you done with my mother?’ ”

Corrie laughed. “I always liked your mom. I know you didn’t, but I always did.”

“She’s okay,” Bryn said. “She’s mellowed a lot in the last few years.”

“Maybe you have, too,” Bob said.

“Maybe.”

They sat at the table and Bob raised his glass.

“A toast,” he said. “To good friends.”

“God knows what we’d do without them,” Bryn said.

They touched glasses.

“Thanks for having me tonight,” Corrie said. “I really hate being home right now.”

“You should stay the night,” Bryn said. “We’ll have a slumber party!”

Corrie smiled and shook her head. “I have to work in the morning. And I think Wendy might just die of a heart attack if yet another woman moves in with Bob.”

“Serves her right,” Bryn said.

“I filed the divorce papers today,” Bob said quietly.

“I’m so sorry.” Corrie put her hand over his. “I know that must be so hard.”

“Thanks,” he said. “I just want to get it over with and move on.”

“Well, we are quite the trio, aren’t we?” Bryn said. “Two pregnant ladies with no husbands, and a husband with no wife.”

Bob grinned ruefully. “If you had told me a year ago that we would be here today, I wouldn’t have believed you at all.”

“I feel like I’m living someone else’s life,” Corrie said. “Like I’m in a soap opera or something.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“Well,” Bryn said finally, “it could be worse.”

Corrie raised her eyebrows.

“How could it be worse?” she asked.

“We could be back in Biology 101.”

They all laughed.

“God, I hated that class,” Bob said. “Jenkins was such a bad teacher.”

“I know,” Bryn agreed. “That’s why I had to copy from you.”

“I only got through that class because Daniel tutored me every single day,” Corrie said.

Immediately, she regretted the words. They sat in awkward silence for a long minute. Corrie’s cheeks reddened.

“Does he know about the baby?” Bob asked.

She shook her head.

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Right now, all I can think about is Mark. He came to the house this morning and packed up a bunch of his stuff. He’s getting an apartment.”

Bryn reached over to squeeze Corrie’s hand.

“He just needs some time to sort things out,” Bob said. “But Mark loves you. He’ll come back.”

“I don’t know,” Corrie said. “If this baby is Daniel’s, I don’t know if Mark can ever get past that.”

“How soon can you find out?” Bryn asked.

“I’m not sure. I looked online, and I think they can’t do testing until at least ten weeks,” Corrie said.

“Have you been to the doctor yet?” Bob asked.

Corrie shook her head. “I can’t bring myself to go into Dr. Ping’s office and tell him, ‘Hey, I’m finally pregnant. But oh, by the way, Mark might not be the father.’ ”

“You should see Dr. Reynolds,” Bryn said. “She’s really nice.”

“Maybe,” Corrie said.

“Actually,” Bob said, “you probably should see your own doctor. He’s got all your history. And I’m sure you’re not the only patient he’s ever seen who wasn’t sure about her baby’s paternity.”

“God!” Corrie said. “I can’t believe I’m in this position. This isn’t me. I don’t cheat on my husband and get pregnant with someone else’s baby. This is not how it’s supposed to be.”

She dropped her head into her hands and felt the tears sting her eyes.

Bryn rose and wrapped her arms around her friend.

“It will all work out,” she crooned. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but it really will be okay.”

Corrie leaned into her and cried. “How is it going to be okay? How will it ever be okay?”

“Because, Corrie, you’re going to be a mommy.”

“I’m going to be a single mom. That’s not what I wanted.”

“Coriander Bliss!”

Bryn’s raised voice startled Corrie into looking up.

“For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve wanted a baby. Even when we were freshmen, you’d stop to play peek-a-boo with kids at the mall. You were meant to be a mother. And now you’re going to be one. After all this time, it’s kind of a freaking miracle. And no, it’s not how you imagined it. That’s life, honey. It never turns out just how you planned it. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.”

Corrie wiped her eyes and stared at Bryn.

“Do you think this is how I planned my life?” Bryn continued. “I was supposed to be a world-famous artist by now, and I don’t even have a place to call my own. I’m thirty-two years old, and I don’t even have my own apartment.”

“You’re braver than I am,” Corrie said softly.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. You are brave enough and strong enough to get through this. Your perfect little world has been shaken. And oh well, life happens. But you’re going to have a baby, and you’re going to love the baby, and you’re going to make a good life for you and the baby. Because you are Coriander Bliss Philips. You survived your rotten childhood, and you can survive this.”

Corrie sat silently staring at her friend. At last, she smiled weakly.

“I love you,” she said.

“I know,” Bryn said. “I’m just a lovable person.”

Bob laughed then, and they all relaxed in their chairs.

“Now seriously,” Bryn said. “You have to come look at the stuff my mom bought today. I am going to have the best-dressed kid Middlebrook has ever seen!”