The Weight of Small Things (21 page)

Read The Weight of Small Things Online

Authors: Sherri Wood Emmons

Tags: #Fiction, #Contemporary Women, #General, #Psychological

BOOK: The Weight of Small Things

6.29Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

Read Book Download Book

C
orrie took a deep breath and dialed. After only one ring, she heard Daniel’s voice.

“Daniel Chapman.”

“Daniel, it’s Corrie.”

“Corrie! God, I’m so glad to hear from you. How are you?”

“I’m fine,” she said softly. “Is this a good time to talk?”

“Hang on just a minute. I want to close the door.

“Okay, we’re good. God, Corrie, I’ve been going out of my mind missing you. I mean, I’ve been good. I haven’t called even once. I really have been trying. But you can’t believe how much I’ve missed you!”

“Daniel, I have something I need to tell you.” Corrie’s voice shook slightly.

“Okay.” He sounded apprehensive.

“I’m pregnant.”

There was a long pause.

“Oh,” he said finally. “That’s . . . that’s great, Corrie. Congratulations. I know how much you’ve wanted this.”

“The baby is yours.”

Corrie sat, waiting for his response, chewing her fingernail.

“Oh,” he said again. “Oh God, Corrie. Are you sure? Does your husband know?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” she said. “I had a DNA test done. It’s your baby. And Mark knows. In fact, he’s filing for divorce.”

“Oh, Corrie-Andy, I’m sorry. I mean, I’m not sorry the baby is mine. I just . . . I’m sorry you’re going through so much. Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay. I’m a mess.”

“I’m coming out there.”

“No!” Her voice rose. “Please don’t come, Daniel. Not right now. Let me just get through the holidays and then . . . and then we’ll talk.”

“Corrie, you just told me you’re having my baby. Our baby! I am
not
going to wait until after the holidays. I need to see you now. We have so much to decide.”

“Please, Daniel. Please don’t come now. I can’t handle any more. I just have to get through Christmas. Then we’ll talk. Please?” Her voice quavered.

“Corrie, I don’t want to make things worse for you.” Daniel’s voice was soft now, reassuring. “I promise I don’t. But I need to see you. We have to talk about this, about the future. I’m not trying to make it hard for you, but I’m this baby’s father. It’s not just your baby.”

“It’s a girl,” she said so quietly he had to strain to hear her.

“Oh wow,” he breathed. “A girl. We’re going to have a daughter. Corrie, that’s just freaking amazing!”

She allowed herself a small smile. “It is kind of amazing.”

“I’m booking a flight for tomorrow,” he said. “No arguments. And no pressure. We don’t have to decide everything right now. But I really need to see you, Corrie. We need to see each other.”

She sighed. “All right,” she said. “But I don’t think you’d better plan on staying at Bob’s.”

“Does he know?”

“Yes,” she said. “He and Bryn and my mother . . . everybody knows.”

“Everybody but me, apparently. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I was waiting until I had the test. If the baby had been Mark’s, well, it would be a whole different story.”

“I’ll bet,” he said. “Okay, I’m going to book a flight and I’ll let you know when I’m getting in. And don’t worry, I won’t bother Bob. I’m sure he’s pretty pissed off at me right now. I’ll just get a hotel.”

She didn’t reply.

“Corrie?” His voice was tentative. “It’s going to be all right. I promise it will.”

“I hope so,” she said. “Good-bye, Daniel.”

The next afternoon, Corrie left work early. When she pulled into her driveway, Daniel was already there, leaning against a rental car. He grinned at her as he opened her door. Then, before she could stop it, he swooped her into an embrace, lifting her feet from the ground.

“God,” he said, kissing her forehead. “I am so glad to see you!”

“Stop it, Daniel! Put me down.”

He set her back on the ground and she pulled away from him.

“Sorry,” he said, still smiling. “I really am glad to see you.”

Corrie retrieved her purse and briefcase from the car.

“Come inside,” she said. “I don’t need the whole neighborhood watching us.”

He followed her into the house and waited while she put away her things.

“Are you okay?” he asked, eyeing her anxiously. “Do you feel all right?”

“I’m fine,” she said. “I’m pregnant, not sick.”

“I can’t believe you’re pregnant.” Daniel’s blue eyes sparkled. “I can’t believe we’re going to have a daughter.”

“Do you want coffee?” Corrie walked into the kitchen. He followed.

“You can’t have coffee, can you? Isn’t caffeine bad for the baby?”

She sighed and let herself smile just a bit. At least someone was worrying over her.

“I can make decaf,” she said.

“Decaf sounds good.”

Daniel took a seat at the breakfast bar in the spot Mark usually occupied.

“Let’s sit at the table,” Corrie said. She measured coffee into the pot and poured in water.

They sat across from each other, Daniel staring at Corrie, Corrie staring at the wall above Daniel’s head.

“So, when is the baby due?”

“June,” she said.

“June,” he repeated. “That’s good. Summer birthdays are more fun.”

She shook her head.

“It’s going to be all right, Corrie.”

She smiled at him. “Just because you keep saying it doesn’t make it so.”

“It’s true, Corrie. It will be all right. I know this isn’t what you planned. And I can’t imagine how hard it is for you right now. And I can’t believe your jerk of a husband just left you high and dry.”

“Don’t talk about him like that!”

Corrie rose and walked to the counter.

“None of this is Mark’s fault. He didn’t cheat on me. He didn’t conceive a child with another woman. All he’s ever done is loved me. And you don’t get to pass any kind of judgment on him.”

“Okay.” He raised his hands above his head. “I won’t talk about it. I just don’t understand how he could leave, just like that.”

Corrie said nothing as she poured two mugs of coffee, then added cream to hers.

“If we are going to talk,” she said as she set a mug down before him, “then here are the ground rules. First, Mark is off-limits. I mean it,” she said as he opened his mouth. “Not another word about my husband, or we’re done.”

“Sure,” he said. “All right.”

“Second,” she continued and then paused. “Okay, there is no second. Just the one rule.”

“Got it,” he said.

“So . . .” She took a sip of coffee and wrinkled her nose.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“It needs sugar,” she said, reaching for the sugar bowl.

His eyebrows raised. “You always drank your coffee black.”

“I know.” She spooned sugar into her cup. “But ever since I’ve been pregnant, all my tastes have changed.”

He smiled at her.

“So, let’s talk,” he said. “Let’s talk about you and the baby and us.”

“There is no us, Daniel. There’s you and there’s me and there’s the baby. But there is no us.”

He reached across the table and took her hand.

“There can be, though,” he said, staring into her eyes. “It can be us, you and me and our daughter.”

She simply shook her head.

“Come to Los Angeles,” he said. “Seriously, Corrie, move in with me. We can make a life together.”

“You and me and Capri?”

“Capri is moving out,” he said. “She and Mia are getting a place together. In fact, she’s going to meet Mia’s parents at Christmas.”

“That’s nice,” Corrie said. “I hope it works out for her.”

“So,” he said, “we can turn her room into a nursery. She’s even offered to paint it before she moves out. She’s excited about the baby.”

“You told her?”

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s not a secret, right? I mean, you’ve already told everybody.”

“I just didn’t know you told her.”

“She’s happy for us. And she said to tell you thank you for sending the magazines. She was really happy with the article.”

“Good.”

They sat a minute, and Daniel said again, “Come to California.”

“I can’t,” she said, smiling at him. “My whole life is here. I can’t just leave my job and everything.”

“Why not? Look.” Daniel rose and began pacing the kitchen floor. “What’s here for you, anyway? Just your soon-to-be ex-husband and his family and all your mutual friends.”

“There’s my mom,” Corrie started, then stopped.

“Does she know about the baby?”

She nodded.

“So what does she think?”

“That I’m a terrible daughter.”

Daniel stopped and stared at her. “You can’t be serious. We’re talking about Patrice, right? She can’t be passing judgment on you because you had an affair.”

“A fling,” Corrie corrected him. “And no, she’s not mad about that. She’s mad about the divorce.”

Daniel sat down and looked at her.

Corrie sighed. “Mark and I have been pretty much supporting her since I married him. She’s mad because her gravy train is leaving the station.”

“I’m sorry, Corrie,” Daniel said. “That’s rough. But it’s all the more reason to come to L.A. You can always get another job.”

“I happen to love my job,” she said. “And I love this town. All my friends are here. It’s home.

“Besides, I’m not even divorced from Mark. I keep hoping that maybe he’ll change his mind and come home. I love him.”

Daniel said nothing for a minute. Finally, he leaned forward across the table and stared at her.

“I know you love him,” he said. “But you loved me first. And you’re having my baby.”

Corrie stared down at her coffee cup.

“I loved you a long time ago,” she said softly. “I was a different person then. A lot has changed since college. I moved on.”

“Then why did you sleep with me?”

She leaned her face into her hands. “It was a mistake,” she whispered. “It should never have happened.”

“But it did happen, and you’re pregnant. And whether you like it or not, Corrie, I am this baby’s father. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

Corrie rose and carried her coffee cup to the sink.

“Of course it counts,” she said, her back turned to him. “But it doesn’t change the way I feel.”

She turned to look at him.

“I don’t love you, Daniel. I did a long time ago, but we were kids then. Yes, the baby is yours. And we’ll have to figure out how to make that work. I don’t want to keep you away from her, if you want to be in her life. But I am not moving to California. I am not moving in with you.”

“So you’re planning on raising this baby on your own?”

She nodded.

“I have a good job. I have a good support system. I have great insurance. I will be okay. We will be okay.”

“A baby needs a father.” His voice was grim.

“A baby needs people to love her, and this baby will have that in spades.”

Daniel rose and took her hands.

“I know you aren’t ready to think about it now, but promise me you won’t rule it out altogether,” he said. “Just promise me that.”

She shook her head.

“I’m really tired,” she said.

“Okay, I’ll go. But I’m not going back to L.A. until we’ve talked again.”

She nodded and walked with him to the front door, allowed herself to be pulled into a hug.

“I love you, Corrie-Andy,” he whispered.

“Good night,” she said, pulling away from him.

She locked the door behind him and sat on the couch to cry.

T
he next morning, Daniel was at the door bearing bagels with cream cheese.

“I have to go to work,” Corrie protested.

“Take the day off,” he said.

“I can’t.”

“Come on, Corrie. I’m only here today. I have to go back to L.A. tomorrow for a Christmas program the kids are putting on. And we have a lot of stuff to talk about.”

She sighed.

“All right. Let me call the office.”

Daniel made coffee while Corrie called Kenetha. By the time she walked into the kitchen, he had set the table and was pouring orange juice.

“I’m really not much of a breakfast person,” she said.

“You need to eat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I can scramble some eggs.”

“No, just a bagel.”

“You need some protein,” he said. “It’s good for the baby. You just sit down and I’ll make breakfast.”

She smiled. It felt nice having someone take care of her.

Daniel rummaged through the refrigerator, pulling out an onion, a green pepper, eggs, and cheese.

“When did you get to be so domesticated?” Corrie asked.

“I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time,” he said to her. “The first couple years in L.A., I pretty much lived on fast food. It got old. So, I learned how to cook.”

She watched him move about her kitchen as if he were at home, chopping vegetables, toasting bagels, scrambling eggs. The Daniel she’d known in college never cooked.

“There you go.” He set a plate before her.

“Thank you. It looks good.”

Daniel sat down across from her with his own plate. They had just taken a first bite, when they heard a knock at the back door.

“Who could that be?” Corrie said, rising. “It’s eight o’clock in the morning.”

She opened the door to find Mark standing on the back steps.

“I hope it’s okay,” he said. “I need to pick up a couple things before . . .”

His voice trailed away as his eyes locked on Daniel, sitting at the kitchen table. He looked from Daniel to Corrie and back again.

“I didn’t know you had company,” he said, his cheeks reddening.

“It’s okay,” Corrie said. She could feel her own cheeks burning. “Um, Mark, this is Daniel. Daniel, this is my husband, Mark.”

Daniel rose and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you, Mark.”

Mark simply stared at him, ignoring the outstretched hand.

“I’ll come back another time,” he said, turning away.

“Mark!” Corrie followed him into the yard. “Wait, please. Let me just explain. . . .”

“You don’t need to explain anything, Corrie.” His voice was cold. “It’s all pretty clear.”

“No, it’s not! Mark, please wait.”

But he only got into his car, not looking back. She watched him drive away and felt tears stinging her eyes.

“I’m really sorry.”

Daniel stood behind her, his hands on her shoulders.

She pulled away from him and walked back into the house, Daniel trailing behind her.

She splashed cold water on her face in the bathroom, willing her stomach to settle down. Finally, she came back to the kitchen, where Daniel was eating a bagel.

“I can’t do this,” she said, sinking into her chair.

“Do what?”

“This . . . any of it. This is not my life.”

He said nothing.

“That was my husband,” she said, her voice shaking. “We are sitting here eating breakfast in the house that
he
bought. God, he probably thinks you spent the night!”

“He’s the one who left,” Daniel said softly.

“Because I cheated on him!” Corrie’s voice rose. “And now he comes over to find me sitting here with the man I cheated with. God, I’m such an awful, awful person.”

She buried her head in her hands and began crying again.

Daniel sat quietly for a minute, then rose and walked around the table to wrap his arms around her.

“You are not an awful person. You are the farthest thing in the world from that. You are kind and wonderful and amazing. And you are human.”

She leaned into him and sniffled to a stop.

“The eggs are cold,” he said. “So eat your bagel and you’ll feel better.”

She managed a few bites before giving up. Her stomach was in knots.

“Okay,” Daniel said, taking the plates to the sink and rinsing them. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“It’s cold outside,” Corrie protested.

“So put on a coat. Come on, it’ll do you some good.”

They bundled up and walked through the neighborhood.

“Pretty ritzy,” Daniel said as they passed one beautiful house after another.

“It’s a good neighborhood,” Corrie said.

“Are you going to stay here after the divorce?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I’m not sure I can swing the mortgage on my own. Besides, it feels really empty without Mark there.”

“The offer stands, you know. You could come to California.”

“I can’t, Daniel.”

“You can’t, or you won’t?”

“Both, actually.”

“So if you’re here and I’m there, how are we going to do this parenting thing?”

She sighed. “I don’t know. I mean, it will be hard to be involved in her life when you’re so far away.”

They walked in silence for a minute.

“You could move back here,” she said.

He shook his head. “I can’t leave the center. There’s still too much to do there.”

“How’s the funding?” she asked.

“We got some checks after the article came out. Thanks,” he said. “But the big news is that we have a potential new donor, a big-time donor. He’s coming to the Christmas program tomorrow.”

“I hope it works out.”

“I think it will. He seems pretty excited about the work we’re doing.”

“It really is cold,” Corrie said, shivering.

“It feels good,” Daniel said, smiling. “One of the only things I miss about Indiana is winter.”

“Ugh,” she said. “I could live without it.”

“Come to L.A. and you can.”

She just smiled and shook her head.

“I’m ready to go back,” she said. “I’m freezing.”

He laughed. “Let’s go make some cocoa.”

They sat in the living room with steaming mugs.

“This is nice,” Daniel said.

Corrie felt a tiny flutter inside. “Oh,” she said. “The baby is moving.”

“Seriously? You can feel it moving?” Daniel put his hand on her stomach. “I don’t feel anything.”

“It’s too early,” she said. “Mostly it just feels like a butterfly in my stomach.”

“Have you thought about names?”

She nodded. “I really like Emmaline. Emmaline Marie. What do you think?”

“It’s pretty. I like it. God, I can’t believe we’re having a baby!”

She smiled. “Kind of an unorthodox family.”

“But still a family,” he said. “I’ll just have to rack up a lot of frequent-flier miles, I guess.”

“When she’s old enough, she can come visit you.”

He sighed. “It’s not the same as being in her life all the time. I really wish you would come to L.A.”

She said nothing.

“Come back with me for Christmas,” he said suddenly. “I’ll buy your ticket. Just come out and spend Christmas with me.”

She shook her head. “I can’t. I can’t take time off work. And I already told Bryn and Bob I’d come to their house.”

“Is she still living with him?”

Corrie nodded. “It seems to work for them both.”

“Has he filed for divorce yet?”

“Yes, it should be final in January.”

“What about the kids?”

“They’re staying with Bob. Wendy can have them every other weekend, but only at her parents’ house. As long as she’s living with Luke, she can’t have them at her house.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“She made some very stupid choices,” Corrie said.

“She must have,” he agreed. “Well, good for Bob. Now he can move on. Maybe he’ll meet someone else . . . if Bryn ever moves out of his house!”

“She will. I think after the holidays she’s going to start looking for a place.”

“It’s about time.”

Corrie laughed. “Actually, they seem almost like an old married couple these days. She’s pregnant, too, you know.”

“Bryn? Bryn is pregnant? Who’s the father?”

“Paul, but they’ve broken up for good this time.”

“So, is she expecting Bob to be her baby’s daddy?”

“No, she’s not. They’re just really good friends. I think her being there has been good for both of them.”

“If you say so.”

They spent the rest of the morning talking about the baby. Corrie made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for lunch, and in the afternoon they went to the mall. Daniel bought a car seat for the baby and Corrie bought half a dozen tiny dresses.

“This feels right,” Daniel said as they walked through the parking lot toward the car. “Just like a regular couple planning for their baby.”

“It does feel nice,” she agreed. “But we’re not a couple. You know that, right?”

“I know you keep telling me so.”

“Because it’s true.”

He took her to her favorite restaurant for dinner, then walked her to the door of her house.

“You sure you won’t come for Christmas?” he asked.

“I can’t,” she said.

They stood on the porch for a long, awkward minute.

“I’m really tired,” she said.

“I know. You should get some rest.”

He hugged her and kissed her forehead.

“I’ll call you when I get home,” he said. “And we’ll figure out when I’m coming again.”