The White Renegade (Viral Airwaves) (8 page)

Seraphin closed his eyes at ‘one of their own.’ Did he count? Half the time they treated him as an outsider. He’d joined the army, stood by as they burned the
Wet Lizard
. Alex had a point, however. He was the last Holt alive and he’d taken down the very general behind this massacre. The townsfolk wouldn’t be so quick to answer the soldiers’ questions.

“Still,” he said. “Don’t take unnecessary risks.”

“That’s rich, coming from you!”

“I’m sorry, but everything I did was
very
necessary.”

Alex pushed his shoulder a little as a protest, but they didn’t deny it. “Either way, I’m not going anywhere until you’ve slept some. You don’t just look like you crawled out of a grave, Seraph, you look like you still belong there. Lie down next to your tree, catch some rest, and when you’re in better shape I’ll tell you where I hid your supplies.”

“Hid?”

“You heard me.” Alex grinned. “You’re not getting any of it until you’ve slept.”

Seraphin considered a formal protest against this blackmail, but Alex was right. Now that he was sitting, he wouldn’t be able to take another step. He let his palms caress the fallen tree, then nodded.

“Okay. Two hours, no more. You’ll get back to Iswood at nightfall, and I’ll have enough strength to get me to the closest stream. At this point, the one thing I’m worried about is dogs. They could use my spare uniforms to get them on my track.”

Alex gave him a weird look, then snorted. “If anyone’s gonna follow a scent, it’ll be burnt flesh and death. You stink.”

Seraphin sniffed. He’d been so numb to everything for hours, he wasn’t surprised not to have noticed. He just shrugged. “More reasons to get to the river. I might feel human once I’m clean.”

His friend patted his shoulder briefly, then motioned toward the hard ground on the other side of the tree. Seraphin stretched one last time. He was eager to get out of his dirtied clothes, but he suspected he would need to take extra care with his spares and decided to wait until he was clean to change. He settled down near the tree, setting his back against the gray trunk. Alex grabbed their red jacket and, to his surprise, they snuck into Seraphin’s arms. He held his breath a moment.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Oh hush, Seraphin. You need to hug the heck out of someone, and I’m here. Don’t worry about the rest.”

Seraphin smiled a little, and for a moment he thought he’d cry again. Instead the emotion remained stuck in his throat. He snuggled against Alex, one arm wrapped around them while the other rested under his head. Alex pulled the red jacket over them as a blanket of sorts, then wished him a good night. The sun was shining high above, but the moment Alex shielded them with the jacket, Seraphin closed his eyes and exhaustion caught up to him.

*

They slept together, Seraphin squeezed between the tree at his back and Alex in his arms. He was spared nightmares about his family or the previous night, and breezed through a handful of hours of sweet unconsciousness. When Alex shook his shoulder and whispered his name, Seraphin moaned against the return of throbbing pain. His head weighed twice as much as usual, and every muscle had stiffened into rigid bars. He rolled over, groaned, and swore. Alex couldn’t suppress a chuckle.

“Rough day ahead?” they asked.

“I guess.” Seraphin couldn’t quite bring himself to care. It could only get better, no? After all he’d endured, a few hours of painful walking wouldn’t kill him. He could stay on his feet until nightfall. That was all that mattered now: staying alive. “I can handle it.”

“No doubts about that,” Alex said. “If you ask me, you can handle anything. What will be next?”

The compliment made Seraphin smile. He sat up and massaged his legs. “I’m not sure. I’ll lay low for a while, find a dye that’ll hide the white hair, maybe go into Ferrys to see what the Union is like from the inside. I refuse to believe it’s
all
rotten.”

“Next time you go after someone, you better let me help you.” Alex dropped the supply pack next to him, then snatched their jacket. For the first time, Seraphin heard the bitterness in their tone. “I might not walk into an army’s camp to shoot their general, but I’m not standing by and watching you do it again.”

“You didn’t just stand by.” Seraphin poked his bag of supplies, then started rummaging through it. “Without you I would have nothing. No extra coat for winter, no food—”

“Nothing to clean your pistol and recharge it, no solar burner to cook food, and no extra socks. I know that.”

“There’s more. Alex if I had never met you, I would never have had the courage to do this. I might’ve been wrong about joining the Union army—heck, I’m probably wrong about a lot of things, a lot of the time. But at least I trust myself enough to act, and
try
, instead of letting doubts fester. And that’s because of you.”

Stern had spoken of a little voice screaming, while Alex had stated they hadn’t felt right until they stopped trying to fit with one particular gender. In the end, both were saying the same thing: if he wanted to be happy, he’d have to trust his instincts first.

Alex didn’t answer right away. They studied Seraphin in silence, then smiled a little. “All I’m saying is, I prepared this pack thinking it’d never be used, and that’s one of the worst feelings in the universe.”

Seraphin almost apologized, but the words died on his lips. He wasn’t sorry, not really. He had done what he needed to, and he was thankful for Alex’s support. His hand wrapped around his pistol, and he took a deep breath. “I’ll warn you. Whatever is next, I’ll keep you posted. I have too few friends to leave them behind.”

Once Seraphin had agreed to this, Alex dropped the subject. They shared a light meal—Seraphin knew he couldn’t keep anything heavier down—and Alex told some stories from his last summer as Old Walt’s apprentice. They didn’t linger on the fact the old man would’ve been in that basement, along with Damian Holt. Seraphin drew strength from the ordinary conversation. He would miss these chats more than anything, but he reminded himself Alex hadn’t been there most of his life. He had managed so far, and would again. Both Stern and Alex would be waiting for news from him, too. Seraphin might be alone in the next months, or even years, but it wouldn’t last. By the time he was ready to leave, a careful optimism had replaced his numbing exhaustion.

Seraphin shouldered his supply pack, frowning as the weight settled against his back. Alex had been thorough, and it was quite heavy. The trek to the river would be rough, but at least he would have everything he needed. Alex stole a final hug from him, and for a moment they went on their tiptoes, and Seraphin thought they would kiss him again. Then their nose scrunched up and they clacked their tongue, drawing back.

“You still stink. These things will have to wait for a time when you're less undead and more human.”

They gave Seraphin a playful push, and he replied in kind. His cheeks were hot. He couldn't help but hope there would be more than a kiss next time. The tingling warmth he'd experienced when Alex had first straightened up on that rooftop had never vanished.

“Then I shall be clean when we next meet. Until then … take care of yourself.”

Seraphin’s voice had fallen to a whisper. If he didn't leave now, he might never find the strength. He waited for Alex to return his good wish before spinning on his heels and hurrying away.

His heart tightened with every step down the slope. Seraphin threw one last glance backward, at the fallen tree he'd once admired for its resilience. The pale gray bark had already grown darker from dirt. It seemed at peace, lying on the ground, half its twisted branches broken. Perhaps it deserved the rest. Perhaps everything would be okay, despite its fall. After all, Seraphin had learned to stay proud and stand on his own just in time.

The tree’s legacy was another he’d be proud to carry on.

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The story continues with
Viral Airwaves
.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Stories have always been an important part of my life. From reading to roleplaying to writing, I can’t think of a moment characters haven’t lived in my head and I’m proud to be able to share them at last. I’m also a biochemist hailing from Quebec City, where I spend the rest of my time advocating diversity, gaming, reading and geeking over squids and hot air balloons.