The Wicked Game (A Wicked Game Novel) (12 page)

He had just gotten married for God’s sake and even that was not as frightening as the thought of what was to come. No, he was not afraid of any repercussions that might befall him for having eloped with the daughter of a Baron. He was quite sure actually that considering what had happened between Angela and her family there may never be any consequences. What Andrew was really and truly scared about was tonight; his wedding night.

He was not scared about the act itself. In his younger days he had become quite familiar with the deed and if he did say so himself, he was considerably good at it! But those rakish days were over now. They had actually ended long before he had ever even met Angela. He was not afraid that he was out of practice. It was not one of those things that he thought you could actually forget how to do, and besides, even if he had forgotten, even if he was not so confident in his ability, none of it would matter because his new wife was innocent and would not know the difference one way or another. She had no expectations of what a man and woman should be like together. Her mother or another trusted female relative had not come to her the night before her wedding and given her the “marriage talk” that all respectable young women are known to get. In fact, Andrew was unsure if his new wife had any conceivable notation of what was to come and what was expected. Her horrible encounter with the Duke flashed through his mind and he cringed knowing that this had been her first experience with a man.

And for this reason and this reason alone, for the first time in his entire life, Andrew Wilson was scared shitless.

How was he to approach a situation like this? Part of him just wanted to pretend that she did know what to expect and so he would just lay her on the bed and go to it. He had done it before to other women but he could not do it now. Not to this woman. Not to his wife. Not to his Angela.

His wife. By God he was a married man! That fact alone should have been enough to scare him but for some reason it didn’t. He had made this decision while in full capacity of his mind. It was the right thing for her… and he had a strange feeling that it was the right thing for him as well.

But enough of that now. He would have the rest of his life to ponder his marriage but only tonight would ever been his marriage night. They had passed by several suitable places where they could have spent the night but Andrew had still been uncertain about how to deal with his wedding night dilemma. He couldn’t wait anymore. For one thing, they had been riding on horseback for a few hours now and Andrew was getting sore. (He was sure that Angela was sore as well but God bless her, she hadn’t complained!) And for another thing, God help him, he wanted her. Despite the fear that he felt, deep down inside he had been fighting the urge to just get off the horse and tussle her right there in the fragrant flowers that peppered the grass. She was his wife after all. He had every right in the world to be intimate with his wife. He had every right in the world to
want
to be intimate with his wife!

Didn’t he?

Well yes on the face of it that was his right as a husband in a normal and conventional marriage, but this really was not a normal and conventional marriage. It had not been arranged by their families and they had not eloped because of undying love. When it came right down to it he had married her because he felt it was his duty after the situation he helped her get into and as far as he was concerned she had only married him to save herself from a life of inevitable horror with the Duke. So what Andrew was
now
wondering was if he really did have the right to feel this way. If he really did have the right to want his wife… especially now that he had convinced himself that she had no idea what was expected of her. Especially now that he had convinced himself that this really was just a marriage of convenience.

But even in marriages of convenience the woman was expected to produce an heir.

Oh well never mind that. Andrew was not anyone important and he did not require an heir. So here he was again back to where he had started; confused and scared out of his mind.

And then suddenly Angela spoke up. “Please, let’s stop at this inn. I’m hungry and tired.” She paused and then nervously added, “And we have just been married after all.”

Andrew opened his mouth slightly. Perhaps her mother had talked to her after all knowing that the day was soon to come. He didn’t know whether to jump for joy or scream but he wasn’t going to take this for granted.

Suddenly everything became clear!

Yes, they
had
just been married after all!

***

This inn was certainly not the type of place he imagined a man should take a respectable woman on her wedding night, but it would have to do. They were both sore and tired and this was, according to the innkeeper, the only inn until the next town which was a day’s ride away.

Andrew’s hands shook as he gave his few meager pennies to pay for the room and accepted the large rusty key that would open the door. Andrew gently took his wife by the hand and hurried, though not too eagerly, upstairs. The key squeaked as it unlocked the door and the door hinges squeaked even louder as it swung open. The newlyweds walked inside and shut the door. The décor of the room was not as terrible as Andrew had expected. It certainly was not the worst he had seen in his day but it was not the best either. As eager as he was to make this marriage official and as excited as he was by Angela’s hint that she actually
did
have some idea of what was supposed to happen tonight, he was now second guessing himself. He wanted her. He wanted her bad. But she deserved better than this.
He wanted to give her better than this…
That last thought set him scared again.

But it was Angela who made the decision. No sooner had he shut the door than she was on him and all around him. He was somewhat shocked but he accepted her invitation and soon he was wrapped around her as well. She pressed her lips firmly to his and began to move them in a fierce rhythm, biting lightly on his bottom lip and flicking her tongue softly at its corners. His insides turned to warm butter and he gasped in confusion. He was the one who melted women with his touch, not the other way around! This was such a strange change of pace that he began to wonder exactly what was going on inside of him and exactly what his feelings were for his wife. He was beginning to have an inkling that his feelings for Angela were a bit more complicated than he thought. And that made him wonder exactly what was going on inside
her
mind right now. Was she feeling this same surge of pleasure that went much deeper than physical intimacy?

And then she bit his lip again and he stopped thinking all together. His hands roamed her body, caressing the gentle curves of her breasts, her narrow waist and supple flared hips, and then at last the round firmness of her bottom. Her hands were roaming too, leaving a trail of fire on every place they touched. He clutched her body closer and then closer still. He brushed his lips against hers and then began to explore the other beautiful and delicate places of her body. First he kissed her chin and her neck and then he slowly trailed his tongue along her jaw line. He moved his mouth up to her cheek and placed his lips delicately upon it but what he found surprised him. Her cheek was wet and salty. She tasted of tears.

She was crying.

Andrew was suddenly drawn out of the moment and overwhelmed by a desire to comfort her. In all his thoughts about fears he had forgotten to think about hers!

“Angela, what’s wrong?”

“Oh it’s—it’s nothing…”

The tears were now flowing down her beautiful face and his heart began to break.

“But you’re crying! Something must be wrong… Is it this? Is it what we’re doing? If you’re scared that’s fine. If I must admit it I’m scared as well!”

She looked up at him and though still crying, she managed to laugh once. “No, no, of course not. Was it not just a day ago when I offered myself to you? It’s not this. I give you my word.”

Andrew was not convinced. “You can be honest with me Angela. I have the feeling that mothers do not always tell their daughters everything that they should know before they get married and…”

Angela looked confused. “Of course my mother didn’t talk to me about wedding nights! She didn’t know I was getting married.
I
didn’t know I was getting married!”

“Then how…” Andrew was now the confused one.

Angela shrugged. “Mary.”

Andrew just said, “Oh.” For some reason he was not surprised. “So then, what is it?”

“Oh it’s nothing really. I don’t want to bother you with my troubles and worries.”

Andrew gently took hold of her shoulders and look directly into her sad eyes. “Your troubles and worries are my troubles and worries now. We are married.”

“Oh. Well Yes. I suppose you are correct,” Angela responded as the hint of a smile flickered in her eyes. “If you must know, I am feeling homesick and I miss my family, the wretched beings. Even so I’ve never been away from them before and now I shall never see them again.” The last line was no more than a whisper and Andrew could tell that she was struggling to not absolutely break down.

He pulled her close to him and wrapped her up within himself. “Now listen to me.
We
are family now, you and I, and I will never leave you.”

And with this the tears flowed.

Andrew gently lifted his wife and carried her to their bed. He laid her down carefully and then lay down next to her. He held her safe within his arms until at last her sobs ceased and they both fell asleep.

***

Angela woke up in the middle of the night and she was scared, but then she realized that she was not alone. Of course she was not alone. She had just been married and she was in bed with her husband. It was a comforting feeling to know that even in the midst of her sadness and her separation from her biological family she would not be alone. She would never be alone again. Andrew had promised her that much.

There was a small pang of fear in her mind and she thought about how Andrew had acted with her when they arrived at the inn. He had treated her with kindness and warmth and understanding; almost as if his feelings for her were much deeper than he let on… much deeper than she wanted. She knew that he was different than the men she had grown up surrounded by. He had not married her because of whom society thought she was, as any other man would have done. She had no reason to distrust him or to be cold towards him, but it was something she could not help. The years of being ignored, at least in any way that mattered, had created hardness inside of her. She had built a wall to her emotions and the night of her birthday party, the final stone had been laid. She could not love anyone and she could not let anyone love her. No, she could not let that happen. She could not let his feelings for her be more than respect and understanding. It would only turn out bad for him because she could not, and would not, return the feeling. She respected him for what he had done for her and so she never wanted to see him hurt.

But most important in all of this, she now had a say,
the say
, in her life. She refused to give it up. Ever. Husband or not, she would never relinquish this freedom.

She would have to be careful how she acted around him. She could not deny that she was attracted to him physically. At times she had a hard time keeping her hands off of his body, but physical attraction was not the same thing as love. Even an inexperienced woman such as herself knew that. And she was sure that Andrew knew this as well but there was no reason to tempt fate. She would interact with him as much as necessary for a husband and wife but no more.

Angela took a deep breath and the scent of his skin put butterflies into her stomach. She would have to learn how to fend of that feeling. But not right now. He was sleeping, so she snuggled in closer to him and a sense of calm flooded through her body and brought a warmth to her skin.

She was safe.

She was happy.

“So how exactly did you end up with my horse?” After days of riding, the question had only just dawned on Angela. “That is, without the law trailing you!”

Andrew lowered his head. “Your father gave him to me.”

“You lie!” Angela was in absolute shock. Her father would never do such a thing, especially not for Andrew.

Andrew shook his head. “No. I tell the truth.” He paused. “I’ve just left out some of the details.”

Angela playfully hit her husband. “Well get on with it then! You have sparked my interest!

Andrew cleared his throat. “Well you see as soon as you left I packed all my things together to leave, but before I could get out the door your father caught me and dragged me down to the stables. I told him that I was perfectly capable of walking and that I preferred to do so but when I turned to leave he grabbed me tightly by the arm.”

At this point Andrew’s voice slightly cracked and Angela looked at him with concern. “You see at this point we were alone and I really thought that he might have changed his mind and he was actually just going to kill me right here. But instead he just said, ‘Walking is too slow.’ and pulled a horse out of the stable. He told me I had to ride it and get off of his property before he changed his mind.”

Angela was getting impatient. “And?”

“Well he told me to drop it off in the first town I came to and send a messenger to tell him where to pick it up.”

“But,” Angela began, “here we are, still in possession of the horse.”

“Yes,” Andrew repeated, “here we are.”

Angela didn’t say anything but Andrew could tell that she was not satisfied with his answer. “It’s really not important.”

“If you don’t want to tell me then it is important. I’m strong. I can handle it.”

And Andrew knew she was right. It was important and she could take it. “I was just about to ride off when your father realized which horse it was…”

It suddenly dawned on Angela and she just simply said, “Oh.”

“So he told me to keep it.”