The Widower's Wife (13 page)

“Why, it is kind of you to notice, Mr. Nathan Shaw.” Jillian pulled her hand back out of his and began fiddling with her dance card.

“Notice?” he said surprised. “Well, I’m afraid no man within miles of you could help but notice the great beauty you’ve become.” She was flustered, but thankfully, she managed to keep her wits about her.

“Why, Nathan Shaw, don’t you waste your practiced charms on me. I’ve known you too long to be taken in by your fickle and flirtatious ways. You might be able to fool some of the other women here tonight, but you can bet I won’t be one of them.” Unconsciously, she had stomped one of her feet to make her point. It was a habit she needed to break. When she realized what she had done, she was grateful he hadn’t noticed.

“Waste?” he asked as he leaned in a little closer. “Nothing, my dear Miss Jillian, would ever be a waste on you.” As he leaned back, he snatched her dance card from her hand and proceeded to write his name on every line. Shocked, Jillian snatched it back from him and looked at it.

“Why, Nathan Shaw! Now I won’t get to dance with anyone but you the entire night!” She pretended to be angry, but secretly she was overjoyed.

Nathan just gave her his wide, handsome grin and turned to walk away, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll see you when the music begins.”

They danced the whole night, and Jillian found herself literally swept off her feet. The next morning, it was evident that the
Providence Gazette
had taken notice of her whirlwind evening. A week later, Nathan asked Jillian’s father for permission to court her. Her parents were thrilled and so was Marcus. Thus began their romance.

Jillian had known Nathan for so long that after the initial shock of finding out that he had feelings for her as well, they fell into a comfortable courtship. Bethany was thrilled for her, and the two girls spent many happy hours discussing in length what it would be like to be the wife of Mr. Nathan Shaw. Jillian loved children so much, she was certain they would marry and begin a family right away. Nathan, however, thought it better that they have a long courtship. He respected her and never took liberties with her, so she was comfortable waiting for a while. She felt somewhat frustrated though that he would never do more than give her a quick peck on the cheek when he said good night. She wished he would at least once sweep her into his arms and kiss her on the lips, but if he wanted to wait, she would respect his wishes. After they were married, they would have plenty of time for romantic kisses.

The thought of kissing Nathan made Jillian shudder and broke her from her thoughts. She was ever so glad that his lips had never touched hers.

An image of Dalton came into her mind. What a contrast! She felt her body simultaneously warm and shiver slightly with delight as she thought of the kiss they had shared the day before. Never had she imagined a kiss could be like that. Her heart sped up again just thinking about it. He didn’t even have to be near her to make her feel this way.

Jillian laid the brush down, changed quickly into her nightclothes, and slipped into bed. She would allow herself to dream of Dalton tonight. Surely it couldn’t hurt to just dream of him. Tomorrow she would try harder to control her feelings and be more firm in her commitment to keep romance out of their relationship.

Dalton poked fervently at the log on the hearth. He was finding it difficult to stick to his new resolve. When he had kissed Jillian yesterday, it had taken all his strength to break away and leave. He’d spent the rest of the day chastising himself for giving in to his desire and telling himself that it hadn’t been fair to her. He was fully aware that she had agreed to the loveless marriage he’d offered; it wasn’t right for him to suddenly expect more. But still, when she stood in the hallway just then, looking at him, the desire to kiss her, to take her into his arms and hold her, had returned with fervor.

Finished with the fire, he stood up and headed back toward his room. He stopped briefly and looked at the door across the hall where she slept. Torturing himself, he recalled their kiss one last time. Then, shaking his head to dispel the image, he opened the door to his own room and went inside.

It was a perfect day for a picnic. Lisa was so excited that she had been bouncing around all morning. Brenn was delightedly following her and hungrily examining the pies and goodies Jillian had made to take with them. Even Jenny seemed to be in high spirits. By ten o’clock, the wagon was packed, and they were ready to go.

The picnic was held at the lake a few miles away from Willow Springs. Jillian was excited to see water again. She always loved her family’s trips to the ocean, and since she knew she might never see it again, she was determined to love the lake just as well.

Jillian was a bit anxious and was trying to concentrate on the children to help quell her nerves. Other than seeing some of the townsfolk at church the last few Sundays, she hadn’t done any real socializing. She had met one young woman that she liked, Olivia Jenkins, the pastor’s daughter. She and her father had come calling the Sunday after Jillian had arrived, and Olivia and Jillian had talked quite a bit. She was grateful that Aunt Betty had promised to stay close today and give her fair warning if anyone headed her way that she should avoid. She’d heard there were those in town not happy that Dalton was no longer an eligible bachelor.

Earlier that morning, she’d a difficult time deciding what to wear. Other than her party gowns, she’d only packed her more practical dresses. Since a picnic was no place to wear a party dress, she had finally decided on a peach colored dress she hadn’t worn yet. It was just a little fancier than the other dresses she had brought. Lisa had been beside herself when Jillian had come out of the house wearing it. Jillian was pleased and looked forward to having the extra time this winter to make the girls a few new dresses of their own.

Dalton’s gaze swept over her appraisingly, and she felt her pulse quicken. She pretended not to notice him looking at her. She did, however, sneak a few appraising looks of her own. He looked so handsome in his newer looking pair of denim jeans and clean white shirt, which was rolled up at the sleeves, accentuating his sun bronzed skin.

After a short wagon ride, they were unloading their things. Dalton quickly grabbed their bundles and ushered the children toward Uncle Ned, who was lying down on a blanket in the soft grass close to the lake. Aunt Betty came hurrying over.

Giving Jillian a hug, she exclaimed, “My, you look lovely today, dear. May I help you carry some of your things?”

“Oh yes, please,” Jillian gratefully answered as she looked over at the tables that were bustling with women. She would be glad for the company, if not for the help.

“These pies look wonderful, Jillian!” Aunt Betty said with genuine enthusiasm. “That peach raspberry you sent over the other night was heavenly. I may have indeed met my match—in the kitchen anyway,” she teased.

“You’re too kind to me, Aunt Betty,” Jillian replied, “It’s taken me a little time to get used to baking in an unfamiliar oven, but I think I’ve finally mastered it.”

“Well, no one can argue that by the looks of these.” She gave Jillian an encouraging smile. “Are you ready to enter the hen house over there?” She nodded toward the crowd of women.

“I suppose I might as well get it over with,” Jillian replied. They made their way over to the tables with their hands full. Before they reached the group, however, Aunt Betty leaned over to Jillian.

“Watch out,” she whispered. “Here comes Mavis Bingham. She’s a nosy gossip. You have to watch what you say around her.” She quickly stopped her explanation as Mavis stopped in front of them.

“Well, hello, Betty. It’s so good to see you! I missed you and Ned at church last Sunday.

“Yes, well, Ned was worried he had a cold comin’ on and we thought it best to stay home. It didn’t turn out to be much to worry over, thank goodness.” Betty took a step to the side to go around her to the tables, but Mavis ever so slightly maneuvered her body to block her way, compelling Betty to pause again. Mavis then turned her attention to Jillian.

“And who might this be, Betty? Could this be Dalton’s new wife, come all the way over from Massachusetts?” She conducted a thorough examination of Jillian, with a slightly pinched look on her face. “She is a pretty little thing, I suppose.” Jillian couldn’t believe the woman was talking about her as if she wasn’t standing right in front of her. “You know, my Sarah cried for two weeks when she found out Dalton up and got married. Had her heart set on being his new bride herself.” She finally turned from Jillian back to Aunt Betty. “Well, to each his own, I must say.” Jillian risked a quick look at Aunt Betty, who looked as if she was about to explode. Jillian was also trying very hard to bite her tongue as Mavis went on.

“Was kind of a funny thing though, him pining for his dead wife one day and then showin’ up with a new one the next.” Jillian was worried about Aunt Betty now. She had turned a new shade of red, but all of a sudden, she seemed to gain total control over her emotions. By the time she answered Mavis, Jillian would have thought they were having an everyday friendly conversation.

“Well, Mavis, you know Dalton, always wantin’ the best of everything. Suppose that’s why he chose my Laurellyn in the first place, and I suppose that’s why he’s chosen Jillian here now. You just can’t blame a man if his search had to reach all the way to the East Coast to find him the best this time.” She then turned to Jillian with a triumphant smile on her face. “Come on, Jillian, we’d best be gettin’ these pies you made to the table before the judgin’ begins. One of these scrumptious things is sure take the blue ribbon this year!”

They both walked around a dumbfounded Mavis Bingham to the tables and set the pies down. Aunt Betty took Jillian’s arm in hers and said, “We best hurry back to the wagon to get the others things you brought.” She nodded quickly toward Mrs. Bingham. “She won’t bother us again today.” She smiled mischievously. “Mavis has won the first prize for the past four years with her apple-cinnamon pie, but I’ve given her a bit to chew on.” They both laughed together, and Jillian said another prayer of thanks for Aunt Betty.

By the time everyone arrived and it was time to eat lunch, the tables groaned with the weight of all the delicious food. Everyone filled their plates and sat on blankets down by the water’s edge to eat.

Later, full from their ample meal, folks visited and relaxed while the children played in the water. Dalton had taken off his boots, rolled up his pant legs, and was playing with Jenny and Lisa. Brenn lay napping on the blanket next to Jillian. Aunt Betty and Uncle Ned were resting beside her as well.

The lake was beautiful with the sun reflecting off of it. There was a small island out in the middle. All afternoon, Jillian watched as boatloads of adults and children rowed back and forth from one shore to the other. The island must be a lovely place.

“Jillian.” Aunt Betty broke through her revelry. “Why don’t you take a walk around and enjoy the lake? It is a beautiful sight this time of year. I’ll keep an eye on Brenn.” Jillian didn’t notice her turn and wink at Uncle Ned.

“That would be wonderful. Thank you, Aunt Betty. I won’t be gone long.” She stood up, brushed the grass from her dress, and started off.

“Take your time, dear,” Aunt Betty called after her. “Uncle Ned and I will enjoy having the children to ourselves for a while.” Jillian smiled to herself. She did love them—they were such good people. As she walked off, she turned to wave good-bye.

Dalton noticed when Jillian stood up and walked away. He’d managed to keep a safe distance away from her all day. He had dreamed of her last night.

In his dream, Jillian was running in a meadow with her hair down in all its glory, and she was calling out to him to follow her. He couldn’t decide what to do and had reached into his pocket to grasp Laurellyn’s cameo, but it wasn’t there. He desperately felt around for it, only to realize there was a gaping a hole in the bottom of his pocket. Quickly, he looked about him on the ground to see if he could find it, but it was nowhere in sight. As he turned to head back to continue looking, he heard Jillian call his name again. When he looked over to see where she was, Jenny, Lisa, and Brenn were running with her.

“Come on, Pa,” Jenny called, “come with us.” Frantically, he tried to decide what to do.

“Wait for me, I’ll be back in a minute,” he called out to them. “I’ve lost something and I need to find it.” Just then he heard Lisa call out to him.

“No, Pa, you’ll miss it. Come see.” He looked around behind him once again, but when he turned back to his family, they were gone. He woke up with a start, and his heart was beating furiously.

He’d glanced over at the table where Laurellyn’s cameo lay undisturbed, just where he had left it the night before. Tears had begun to spill down his cheek as he got out of bed and knelt down to pray, the cameo in his hand. He was suddenly frightened he would lose his family if he couldn’t find a way to release his hold on the past. He needed to make some decisions, and there was only one power he knew of that wouldn’t lead him astray.

After praying awhile, he’d gotten up, walked to his bureau, and removed a small box. Lifting the lid, he’d placed the cameo inside. He brushed his fingers across it one last time before replacing the lid. Reverently, he put the box back in his drawer and pushed it closed. He would save it for Jenny and give it to her one day when she was older. He had received his answer.

Now, as he saw Jillian walking away along the lakeshore, he felt momentarily panicked as he remembered the dream. He was still confused about how exactly he was to go about remedying their situation. There were so many things to consider. The only thing he knew for certain was that he wanted to be a part of his children’s future, and he wanted that future to include Jillian . . . completely.

After awhile, he saw Aunt Betty wave him over. While keeping a watchful eye on Jenny and Lisa, he walked the few yards over to the blanket. Aunt Betty smiled up at him endearingly.