The Wilful Daughter (37 page)

To be alone with her without another man inside of her.

So she was staying. He wiggled his toes in the pond and brought up enough water to dampen Millie and stop her from talking but start her to screaming: “Stop it, Michael, I’m gonna tell! I’m gonna tell!”

He teased her with wet hands and feet until she grabbed her old shoes and ran home to Cora, leaving him happily alone at the pond.

He thought about going to see June. See her now, surprise her and not have to answer to his mother who believed him daydreaming at the pond.

There was little left of his reflection in the water with the sun setting, except the silhouette of his head and shoulders against the calm murky waters. He lifted his arm and tugged at the shirt, bending his head down to smell his armpit. It wasn’t too bad. Wasn’t like that dapper Dan that had tried to call on his mother last summer when he had been passing through - what was his name? Madman something or other. Wasn’t real handsome but had those blue green eyes that all the women fawned over. Played the piano pretty good but not like Minnelsa’s husband. Madman played that lowdown stuff, played the blues. At least that’s why Cora said she didn’t want nothing to do with him. “Smelled prettier than a woman and played the blues.” After a while that didn’t turn his mother’s head.

He wanted to beat up that guy that was trying to make time with his mother. But other men, older men, told him it was all right for his mother to be with Madman, or with any man she wanted. So he left it alone. Pretended he understood. But really he understood nothing.

Then he heard that Madman Jeffries band was moving on. Only been here three weeks and moving on. He was glad to know that his mother hadn’t taken up with the man, especially since she was older than him and had children.

Well, a child. Millie. Michael had not considered himself a child since his father had died. He got up and put on his shoes. He didn’t have a sweet smell to him. He didn’t have fancy clothes and gook on his hair. But he knew that June liked him. She had kissed him more than once.

And she was not going away.

He watched the red ball quickly descend into the hills and trees as he walked toward the big house. Supper was just over, cleaning was going on in the kitchen. The men folks who ate and worked around the house were grabbing all the attention. The children were gone home to be washed and scrubbed by their mothers.

June would be in her room with her baby.

He didn’t really sneak into the house; he just didn’t want anybody seeing him. He wasn’t sure why. They all knew he came and visited June from time to time. Got things for her, fixed the broken rocker on her chair, re-arranged the room for her. Those things had been friendly things, things he would have done for his mama, Miss Fannie or Miss Ella. But this wasn’t just a friendly visit. This was more a visit between a man and a woman. And since he didn’t have flowers, or his good shirt on, since he hadn’t slicked his hair back or bathed himself in vanilla to take away the stench of the workday, since he had called on only one woman in his life and she had been pregnant and since he had known only one girl and that was a giggly hit or miss kind of thing that had happened behind a tree and was never finished, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say or do.

He just knew June wasn’t leaving and he wanted to let her know he was glad.

The door to her room was ajar and he heard sweet humming. A tune to get the baby to sleep, he thought. He peeked in the door before he knocked. There June sat in her rocker, the baby in her arms sucking at her breast. Michael started to back away, he wasn’t supposed to be watching this and yet it seemed so natural to look.

He supposed he had done that as a baby, suckled at his mother’s breast. All babies did. It was just that he wasn’t really watching the baby feed anymore. He was watching June.

Her breasts were so beautiful. Round, bigger than he remembered when she first got there. Babies changed women his mother had told him. June’s breasts were a good change.

The baby was asleep and no longer sucking. June lifted her gently and put her in the cradle. But she didn’t cover her breast. It just sat out there-naked. June tucked the child in and said a soft: “Good night, my little Ophelia.” But didn’t put her breast back in.

He had never seen a woman’s breast before. The girl behind the tree had been soft and let him touch her. But he had seen nothing. Not even when they were joined, ever so briefly, as men and women are joined, he saw nothing.

He watched June even though he wanted to turn away. Maybe he should just knock lightly, not loud enough to wake the baby, and she’d cover herself and say “Just a minute” and he would wait until he was allowed in.

But he watched her breast. The one full and outside of her dress. He wished he could see more of her, maybe see both breasts.

And just as he wished it, she began to unbutton the dress and let it fall on to the floor

This was not something he had anticipated. Perhaps he had dreamed of this moment, but never did he believe that he would actually be standing there looking at her without her dress.

She was at the basin on the dresser, a cloth in her hands and she was washing. First her face, then her neck and then, after wringing out the cloth, she gently hand bathed her breasts, touching them as if they were rare jewels. She was bound from below her breasts to her hips in thick white cloth that was becoming dingy from wear. He had heard the women talking before about “binding” right after the baby is born. June had been in this rag for almost six weeks. He heard the women talking that it would come off soon.

It was fear of being caught staring at things he shouldn’t see that alerted him to the slam of the screen door downstairs and the entrance of another person into the main part of the house. Quickly he hid in another doorway as Ella slowly came up the steps.

“
June,” she said softly outside the girls door. “She sleep yet?”

“
Just got her off, Aunt Ella.” The old lady went in the room and Michael tiptoed past to go out down the stairs. “How much longer I got to wear this thing? It’s so filthy. I would love to take a nice long bath.”

Michael stopped at the top of the stairs and listened. “You stop your bleeding yet?”

“
Last week. And it didn’t come back.” June sounded impatient.

“
And you’s back down to size. I don’t see the harm in taking it off right now.”

June clapped happily. The sound of her hands clapping in delight like a child’s put a smile on Michaels face. “And I can take a bath. A nice hot one?”

Ella laughed. “Young people is always so impatient. Yes, right now. I’ll get it ready for you.”

As Michael hurried down the steps he stopped again as June asked Ella: “What about Ophelia? I’ll be all the way in the kitchen.”

“
I’ll come back and watch her once everything is ready.” Outside the door she called back. “Gonna take a while to heat up the water.”

“
It’ll be worth the wait. Thanks, Aunt Ella.” June called back.

Michael stood in the dark at the bottom of the stairs until Ella had passed. Then he went up again, as if he had just come into the house. He had always had free reign here. Everybody knew Michael belonged here as much as anyone else.

He knocked on June’s door. She tiptoed across the room to it and smiled when she saw him. “Michael, why I haven’t seen you all day. Where’ve you been hiding?” She was dressed in the same dress again, but this time he was aware that nothing was underneath. Her bare breasts moved against the thin cotton. On the bed was the folded cloth that had bound her back into shape.

“
Been working,” he said casually even though he started sweating as soon as he came in.

She looked at him as she gathered her clothes from her bureau. “Been working hard I gather. Did Millie know you were coming? She spends every waking moment she can . . .”

“
I didn’t even know I was coming to see you. I just came.” She looked at him as he looked at her. It was a strange thing to say. It just slipped out.

“
I guess I was trying to say that I used to come by before the baby, but since you don’t have no time . . .” He swallowed.

She smiled, walked over to him and touched his face. Her breasts moved with each step. “I always have time for you, Michael.”

She turned to go back to picking out her clothes for her bath. Without thinking about what he was doing anymore than what he had been saying, he stood quickly grabbed her from behind, turned her to him and kissed her. Hard, on the lips. He felt her against him, like a soft petal of a flower.

“
Michael,” she said pulling away and stepping back to measure him for a moment. She could barely catch her breath.

“
Michael, I have a baby,” she said softly.

“
I know.”

“
I’m not a widow. Your mother said she was going to tell you. . .”

“
She told me everything she knows about you. She even called you names. I told her to stop.” He was embarrassed and wanted to go. In her cradle Ophelia moved and they both looked towards it. “I heard you ain’t leaving. You’re not going back.”

“
I’m never going back to Atlanta or my father.”

“
I’m glad,” he said with a smile. “I just want to know if we can still be friends. Like before the baby. If it’s all right for me to come here and sit and talk and. . .”

“
Michael, your mother doesn’t really like me.” Even her frown was beautiful.

He pointed to his chest as he spoke. “I’m a grown man, June. I got a job and I take care of my mother and my sister most of the time. You told me I was something. Well that something is a man. And men do what they need to do. They don’t listen to they mothers.” His voice although soft spoken was powerful. June was impressed. “So is it all right for me to come around, tomorrow and just sit and talk?”

June nodded then said: “Yes.” He walked towards her and kissed her again, but this kiss was neither clumsy or a cumbersome maneuver. It was manly and very sure.

As he walked to the door he turned to her: “Ophelia is beautiful but not as beautiful as you.” Then proud of himself his chest puffed out before him, he left.

He was down the stairs and out the door before anyone knew he had been there. He was going to see June whenever he wanted to. She was staying and there was nothing his mother could do about it.

But, of course, there was a lot Cora planned to do. She knew June’s desire to live in a small town would disappear with the newness of the baby. She knew June’s desire to be tied down to a boy that wanted to be called a man would change the moment the baby was with Minnelsa and Peter and in no need of a second protector.

Unfortunately, she knew her son was going to be hurt.

She wasted no time in telling her fears to Fannie and Ella who thought it was nice that Michael and June got along.

“
What’s wrong with them being happy and falling in love? Wouldn’t that be nice?”

“
June and Michael, having their own farm, their own babies. Course the Blacksmith would give the boy some land, couldn’t have his baby daughter living like a slave.”

“
Obviously you don’t understand,” was all Cora could say to them. After all, June’s father was paying them to take care of the girl.

Cora was adamant. She sent Millie with them everywhere. And when Millie couldn’t go she’d follow, or watch herself, giving them very little freedom.

Michael asked her to stop. Fannie and Ella said let the children alone. June stared at her as if she were a fool.

They didn’t understand. Girls like that had ways. Get a man’s hopes all up and then drop him without looking to see where he fell.

She waited for things to change when Minnelsa came to get the baby two weeks later. She saw the girl go to pieces and run to her room with the baby the day the letter came that said Peter and Minnelsa were on their way back to get Ophelia. She watched as the girl cried through the transition of handing over her baby. She watched as June stood between Fannie and Ella as they whispered: “It’s for the best” as Minnelsa and Peter drove away in his new car.

She watched as June ran into the woods crying.

She watched all she could and waited for the tide to turn. Cora figured the girl would be ready to carouse and drink as soon as the baby was out of her hands. Back in the big house she was busy preparing lunch with a big grin on her face. That girl would be gone soon. Back to Atlanta, or back to some place where she would have to dress like a lady and appeal to a different kind of man.

Not a boy like Michael.

But Cora did not see Michael waiting in the quiet cool of the woods for June. He was supposed to be in the fields when Peter and Minnelsa arrived. He has seen that big black car speed pass on the way to Fannies and Ella’s and he took sick right then.

Nobody would have accused Michael of pretending to be ill. He was the best worker out in the fields. A few of the men tossed his illness up to being young and foolish and hanging around some juke joint too much.

Michael let them talk as he walked away holding his stomach. Truth was he had never been to a juke joint, although he knew where one was. Helped to build it last year way back in the woods where the white men couldn’t find it. He had never been to visit it and he wasn’t sick.

He just wanted to be there for June.