Then Came Indecision (Southern Love #2) (9 page)

“That’s not true, Blaise,” she said gently. “This is out of your hands.”

Blaise lost his voice.

“Blaise?”

“Hmm?”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is,” he said.

“You’ll figure it out. I know you will.”

He sighed. “I wish you were here.”

Alexandra was silent on the other end.

Blaise needed to hear the words that would make him feel better, the words that made his spine shiver and his palms grow damp. “Alexandra, I should go.”

“Me too.”

He waited for her to say it. The last time he spoke it, she hung up without saying it back.

“I love you,” she whispered. Her voice cracked like it was difficult for her to say. All her emotion was within her words, showing him how much she was still hurting.

“I love you too.”

She breathed into the phone.

“Everything will be better soon. I promise.”

Chapter Twelve

When Alexandra went to work the next day, it was hectic. The ER was saturated with patients. All of them seemed to have a cold or something minor, nothing an outpatient exam couldn’t take care of. Despite her annoyance, she kept a smile on her face and did her job.

Betty, the charge nurse, came over to her. “Alex, I didn’t know you were a nurse.”

She turned in her seat, feeling her heart race. “Uh…”

“It says it right on your application.” She looked at her with a smile on her face. “We have an opening on this floor.”

“Um…”

“You’re a nurse?” Suzie’s eyes were wide. “Why are you working here, then?”

“I’d like to know the same thing,” Betty said.

Alexandra felt cornered. “It’s just too hectic to work full time while I’m in school.”

“Oh,” Betty said. “Are you getting your master’s in nursing?”

“Actually, no. English.”

They both looked confused.

“Do you not like nursing?” Betty asked.

“No, of course I do.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Suzie asked.

Alexandra glanced between them, unsure how to respond.

“The patient in room 8 is out of bed again,” the nurse said with a sigh. She looked at Betty, asking her what to do.

Betty rubbed her chin. “We’ll have to get a restraint.”

Alexandra didn’t believe in the use of restraints. She thought it was inhumane and should only be used in life-threatening situations.
“But the patient isn’t hurting anyone.”

“Do you know how many times I’ve put that catheter in her?” The nurse stared Alexandra down.

“I’ll have Dr. Kenley sign off on it,” Betty said.

Alexandra didn’t like that. “Let me try something.”

The nurse glared at her. “Super tech to the rescue.”

Alexandra realized she was quickly earning a reputation she didn’t want. She ignored the insult and went into the room.

The patient was standing in her gown, moving the garbage to the other side of the room. She had schizophrenia and a muscular disorder, making it hazardous when she walked around.

“Ms. Tanner, do you need help?”

“I got it,” she said as she moved the bin.

Alexandra watched her for a moment. “Why don’t you take a seat?”

The woman ignored her.

She sighed as she watched the woman walk around, the IV pole trailing behind her. “You need to lay down, Ms. Tanner.”

She stopped and stared at the cabinet, her eyes looking at the different drawers.

Alexandra realized there was nothing she could do. The patient was clearly intent on doing what she pleased. She eyed the bed and noticed how well it was made. The dirty
towels from the linen were folded and placed on the table. It gave her an idea. “I’ll be right back, Ms. Tanner.”

The woman opened the drawer and looked inside.

Alexandra left the room and walked to the cart. She grabbed a stack of clean towels and shoved them into a bag, ruining the folds.

“What are you doing?” Betty asked.

“I have an idea,” Alexandra said. She placed the pile of towels beside her desk along with a chair then returned to the room. “Mr. Tanner, can you help me with something?”

She stopped and looked at her. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What?”

“Come with me,” she said with a smile. She pulled out a wheelchair and nodded to it. “Sit down.”

The woman slowly walked to the chair and sat down. Alexandra arranged the IV pole and the catheter before she wheeled her out and put her next to her desk.

Alexandra nodded to the towels. “Could you fold these for me?”

The woman stared at them before she started going through them, arranging them in a perfect pile. When s
he was finished, Alexandra mixed them up and put them back on the desk. The woman folded them again.

Betty watched her. “Interesting…”

“She just needs something to do,” Alexandra whispered. “I’ll watch her.”

“We’re just waiting for her x-rays to come back,” Betty said. “She should be discharged in an hour or so.”

“Okay,” Alexandra said. “I’ll be here the whole time.”

Betty nodded. “Good thinking.” She walked away and returned to her desk.

Alexandra picked up a chart and placed the orders in the computer. The woman sat beside her and kept folding the towels.

“Ms. Tanner, do you have any kids?”

“Huh?” She dropped the towel she was holding because she was startled.

Alexandra picked it up and handed it back to her. “Do you have any children?”

“Oh.” She started to fold it. “I have two boys. They are both married now.”

“That’s wonderful,” Alexandra said with a smile. “What do you do for a living?”

“Well, I used to be a house maid until I was told to stay home.”

That made perfect sense to Alexandra. It explained her constant need to clean and fold things. “Did you do that for long?”

“My whole life,” she said with a sigh.

“That’s cool.”

“How long have you been a nurse?” she asked. “You look so young.”

“Oh, I’m not a nurse.”

“My mistake.”

“But I get that comment a lot. Whenever I’m on a high school campus, the teachers assume I’m a student.”

Ms. Tanner smiled. “Enjoy it while you can. At least when you’re forty you’ll look twenty.”

“I hope so.”

“So what do you do here?” she asked.

“I’m a tech.”

“And what do they do?”

“I put in orders and do a few procedures.”

“Do you like it?” Ms. Tanner asked. She folded all the towels then stared at the pile.

Alexandra demolished it so she had to start over. “Yeah. I don’t have any complaints.”

“Do you want to be anything else?”

Alexandra looked around and realized no one was listening. “Well, I already went to nursing school.”

“Then why are you a tech?” She folded a towel but refolded it when it wasn’t perfect.

“I guess I’m just scared I might hurt someone.”

“You don’t seem like you would ever hurt anyone.”

“Of course not,” Alexandra said. “At least not on purpose.”

“Maybe you should rethink it. I like you.”

Alexandra smiled. “I like you too.”

“My nurse is mean. She keeps calling me Ms. Tannet. I keep correcting her but she doesn’t listen. And the needle in my arm really hurt. Don’t get me started on the tube between my legs.”

Alexandra looked at the computer.
Unsure how to respond, she remained silent.

“I’ve been in the hospital a lot for the past few years. I’ve had a lot falls and a lot of infections. And the nurses I liked the most were the ones who cared. It made me trust them. The nurse I have now…I don’t trust her at all. I wish you were my nurse.”

Alexandra felt her cheeks blush. “Amy is a great nurse. I think she’s just having a bad day.”

“We all have bad days,” she said simply.

“I suppose.”

Ms. Tanner folded her towels at least
a hundred times before her exams came back. After she was cleared to go, her son picked her up and took her home. Alexandra thought about their conversation long after it was over. She considered going back to nursing but she was still scared. She would never forgive herself if she hurt another person.

“On my very first day of nursing, one of my patients died.”

Alexandra flinched when she realized Betty was standing beside her.

“It really shook me up. I knew some of my patients would die no matter how well I did my job, but you’re never prepared for it. And even now, it’s still hard to accept.”

She wasn’t sure why Betty was telling her this.

“I overheard your conversation with Ms. Tanner,” she explained. “I’m assuming something similar happened to you.”

Alexandra nodded.

Betty placed her hand on her shoulder. “We can’t save them all, dear. Don’t let it stop you. You’
re a wonderful nurse. I can tell.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“And you would be much better suited as a nurse than a tech. You’re just wasting your potential.”

Alexandra nodded, unsure what to say.

“The job is yours if you want it.” She walked away and returned to her seat, leaving Alexandra confused.

When she finished her shift, she drove home in the dark. It was late, almost midnight, and she was tired. After she parked her car in front of the house, she walked to the porch.

There were candles on the banisters and a bottle of wine on the table. Paul was sitting in a chair, staring at her. “Would you care for a drink?” He held up a wine glass.

Alexandra stared at the candles, moved by the gesture. But then guilt rose up her throat. “I should get to bed.”

He stood up and approached her. He wore jeans and a green t-shirt. The color looked good on his skin, making it appear pale. When he reached her, he placed his hand on her waist. “Just one drink. It’ll calm your nerves.”

“I’m not pleasant company right now.”

“You’re always pleasant company to me.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her to a chair. After she sat down, he poured her a glass of wine.

She sipped it while she looked at him. His eyes were staring into hers, intense but calm at the same time.

“How was work?”

She shrugged.

“Not very talkative, huh?” he asked with a smile.

“It’s just…the same thing every day.”

“I find that hard to believe.” He drank from his glass.

“Everyone keeps telling me to be a nurse.”

“Numbers don’t lie, baby. You should be one.”

“Then why am I so scared?”

He stared at her for a long moment. “You’re so fearless when it comes to everything else. But when your decisions affect other people, you change. You’re so scared to hurt other people that you avoid it. But you can’t be that way. No matter what you do, no matter how good you are, bad things will happen. Just accept that and do your best.”

“I—I just can’t have another patient die.”

“Then chose the wrong profession,” he said simply.

She stared at the glass in her hands.

“You’ll realize it eventually, baby. I can only convince you so many times.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she whispered.

He sighed then moved to the seat beside her. It was a tight fit but he squeezed into the space. He grabbed her legs and put them on top of his.

“I’m so dirty,” she said.

“I like dirty,” he said with a wink.

She drank from her glass.

His hand moved to the back of her neck and his fingers moved through her hair. She was too tired to object. It felt good after the long day she had.

“I hate to ask this but I must.”

She flinched at his serious tone.

“Will I be running into this guy while I’m here?”

“Blaise?”

“Whatever the hell his name is.”

“I—I don’t know.” Alexandra thought it was a real possibility when Blaise came back to Georgia. She wouldn’t be able to hide them from each other. “You might.”

“And I’ll kill him if I do.”

“Paul,” she said firmly. “Touch him and I’ll never forgive you.”

His hand stilled. “Why are you defending him?”

“I just don’t want there to be more drama in my life. If you see him, don’t speak to him or touch him. I’ll ask him to do the same to you.”

“Don’t speak to him?” he asked incredulously. “I find that impossible.”

“Just don’t hurt him.”

He stared at her.

“Promise me.”