Then Kiss Me (24 page)

I nodded my head.  “
Some. 
You can have it, by the way.  Remember, I lost the bet.”

“The picture?”
  I nodded again.  “Why don’t
you
keep it?  That’d be
kinda
creepy, framing a picture of myself. 
Kind of…egomaniacal, right?”

I laughed.  “Don’t you like it?”

“No, I do…but I think you’d appreciate it more.”

Well, he was right there.  I
would
like it.  I’d probably hang it
up in my bedroom so I could gaze upon him whenever I felt like it.
  I nodded and then got up and scraped my plate in the trash.

“You probably have to start getting ready for work pretty soon, huh?”  Yeah, I did and still part of me wanted to jump his bones one more time.  Not a good idea, though, because with my lack of sleep, I’d probably just want to curl up and go to sleep after.

“Yeah…do you want me to give you a ride home?”

He got up and scraped his plate too.  “Would you mind?”

“No.  But did you want to shower first or anything?”

“Nah.
  I can shower at home.”

“Then let me get dressed.”  I grinned and pulled his shirt off my head, revealing my complete nakedness underneath
..
.
except for a pair of lacy pink
boyshorts
-style panties.
  “Here’s your shirt.”  I tossed it at him.

His eyes nearly jumped out of his head.  “Whoa.”  He started walking toward me as I giggled, backing up out of the kitchen.  “Casey, that’s not fair.”

I cocked an eyebrow, still walking backward. 
“Not if I wanted a quick fuck before you left.”

He grinned and walked faster, but I turned around and ran to my bedroom.

He caught me before I reached the bed and sent me to heaven one last time before I had to take him home.

Chapter
Thirteen

BEFORE I WENT
to Scott’s that night, I searched through my drawings and paintings, trying to find one to give to him to keep since he didn’t want the drawing of himself.  Then I remembered that I had two sketchbooks of musical instruments.  A long time ago, I’d been on a kick of drawing scenes from concerts I’d attended; then I found it fun to draw instruments.  Maybe I had a drum kit sketch in one of them.

While I looked through my books, my mind wandered back through the last twenty-four hours.  So I’d been stupid.  What
if
the infertile one
had
been Barry?  What if I
could
get pregnant?  I knew a guy pulling out wasn’t foolproof.  The problem was that, even though there was always a chance, it didn’t feel possible.  I’d told Scott I felt dead inside, and it was true.  I had maternal urges but I felt like my womb was a lifeless desert.

I had to decide if I’d get on the pill.

I managed to find the sketchbook and had, by that time, put my pill dilemma in the back of my mind.

I was looking forward to seeing Scott.  Yes, I was fully in love and I knew it now.  And I was okay with it.

It seemed too soon since Barry, but I
also
knew Scott was a find
, and I couldn’t bear to pass him up, even if the timing didn’t seem right
.  He was a good guy, sweet and strong, caring.  And he was fucking hot, in a metal band, and an incredible lover.  I didn’t think it could get better than that.

When I got to his place, David was home too, but he was waiting for Gerald to come pick him up when Gerald got off work around ten.  They were watching a Batman movie.  Scott and I shared the couch, and I just leaned back on
his
chest.  He was warm, strong, and smelled so masculine but so clean.  Every so often during the movie, he’d squeeze my shoulder or kiss my neck as I stroked his leg.  I was so conscious of his breath, of his presence, and I hoped David wouldn’t say anything.  He’d been trying to getting us together for a few weeks now, so I’m sure he was quite pleased that we were finally a couple.  I hardly paid attention to the movie.  Instead, I was aware of the two men in the room.

After the movie was over, David asked Scott when the next time Pain and Agony was playing.  “Oh, shit,” I said and grabbed my keys out of my purse.

“What?”

“I left something in my car. 
Just a minute.”

Both men just watched as I walked out the front door.  I had left the sketchbook in the backseat of the car and wanted to give it to Scott
, and David talking about the band had jogged my memory
.
  When I was getting in
to
my car, Gerald pulled up.  When I
shut
the car
door
, he said, “Hi, Casey.”  I asked him how he was doing.  “Great.  I think I’ll be doing even better in about five minutes.”

I smiled.  “I think you’re probably right.”

Once David and Gerald left, Scott said, “So what did you have to get out of your car?”

“
This,
but let me spread it out on your kitchen table.”  So we went in the kitchen and
I showed him
all the rock and roll sketches.

“Shit, Casey.  When did you do these?”

“A couple of years ago.
  Do you like them?”

“Yeah…they’re awesome.”

“I want you to have them.”

He lifted his eyes from off the pages. 
“You sure?”

“Well,
yeah
…since you refuse to take the sketch I made
for
you.”

He grinned.  “
Thanks.”  Then his face looked more serious.  “
Oh, fuck…I forgot.  You left the CD I made for you in my truck.  Let me go get it.”

“Just give it to me tomorrow.  We’re…uh…alone right now and uh…”

He raised his eyebrows.  “God, I love the way you think.”  He pulled me in his arms but he didn’t kiss me.  He touched his forehead to mine and asked, “Do you want to stay the night?”

Yeah…I wasn’t going to run away anymore.  And instead of answering with words, I just kissed him.  He said, “I’m taking that as a
yes
.”  He grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs.

He closed his bedroom door with his foot and took control.  I knew right then that he could have me any time he wanted.  I hated feeling so out of control, and yet I loved it.  I trust
ed
him, loved him.

He picked me up and lay me on his bed.  I hadn’t been here since leaving him alone on that fateful first night, and his room still seemed so masculine, so alive
, so much like his haven and yet so full of energy.

And that was the vibe I got when we made love again.  He was more masculine than Barry, and I’m not quite sure how to explain that.  Barry was definitely masculine, but not like Scott.  Scott felt hard and tough in the right places.  He made me thrilled that I was a woman and the way he looked at me made me melt.  And the energy…like he could go all night.  But after…he had me roll on my side and he cuddled up behind me, holding me close, making me feel safe.  I hadn’t been held like that in so long…probably not since the second year of my failed marriage.  Scott made me feel beloved,
nurtured even,
something I hadn’t felt…well…
ever
. 
Not from my parents, my friends, or my ex-husband.

And that’s why I was falling so hard for him.

I honestly don’t know that I was able to give that all back to him.  Part of me was afraid of things not working out.  After all, I’d never had a successful relationship, and by that I mean I’d never had one last past the so-called honeymoon phase.  Barry and I were happy for several years, though, more than I’d ever felt with someone else, but I had glimpses of problems early on.  He was too possessive, too bossy, too controlling.  Those things didn’t set well with me, and so we started fighting frequently.  But I still hung on.  My mom kept insisting I try to work it out.

Did I see myself with Scott in the future?  Lying there in his arms that night, I wanted to imagine it…but I was afraid.  Would imagining it jinx the possibility?  Why couldn’t I just be happy in the moment?

At some point, I fell asleep, letting myself let go of my worries, instead just enjoying having Scott’s strong arms around me, keeping me warm and safe, breathing him in.

When I woke up the next morning, Scott wasn’t in bed.  I wasn’t surprised I’d slept later.  I had no idea what time I’d finally fallen asleep the night before, but I knew that’s why I hadn’t awakened earlier
—my thoughts had kept me up late
.  I found my clothes picked up, setting on a chair near the drum set.  Aw…that was sweet.  I hadn’t bothered doing that with his clothes yesterday.  So I threw on my shirt and panties and looked around the house.  No one was there, neither Scott nor David.  Maybe Scott had had to go to work.  I didn’t see a note anywhere and wondered if guys ever bother to write notes but saw the coffee on.  I guess he’d left it for me.  I drank half a cup while I smoked a cigarette, deciding to take a shower and then go home.

I’d thought ahead yesterday and tucked an extra toothbrush and fresh pair of panties in my purse, and I took them out now.  I didn’t know if I should leave the toothbrush here or just carry it with me.  I didn’t want to freak Scott out, but I also wanted to be able to clean my teeth in the morning.  Nothing sucked worse than having horrible morning breath combined with an overwhelming desire to make out with your boyfriend.  A toothbrush on premises alleviated that problem.  Maybe I’d ask him…or just leave it and not worry about it.

So I went back upstairs and stripped.  I found a towel
and washcloth
in a cabinet over the toilet and got it out.
  I checked to make sure there were soap and shampoo.  No conditioner for my long hair, but they were guys with short hair and didn’t need it, and I cursed myself mentally.  Sure, I’d remembered a toothbrush and panties, but not the conditioner.  Oh, well.  I’d never claimed to be perfect.

I
brushed my teeth first and then
turned on the water until I had it adjusted t
o a comfortable temperature.  I noticed the tub was already wet, so I knew someone had showered
earlier
, probably Scott, again adding to my suspicion that he’d had to leave for work or something.  (I’d have to start paying closer attention to his
work
schedule.)  I got in and shut the frosted glass doors on the shower.  The warm water felt soothing against my skin and I just enjoyed the feeling for a moment or so.  But I hadn’t even been in the shower for a minute when I spied someone standing in the bathroom doorway…just standing, not saying anything.  I gasped
but
knew he couldn’t hear me over the streaming water.

But then I realized I shouldn’t panic.  It had to be Scott—David’s build was so much different from his, and I could tell that much from the shape of the person there.  Besides, David wouldn’t just stand in the bathroom doorway and watch me shower, and even if he’d brought Gerald over with him this morning, Gerald wouldn’t either.  They weren’t into girls, so there would be no reason to just stand and watch me.
  If, for some reason, they’d needed something, they would have
said
something.

And that’s what the person in the doorway was doing…just watching, not saying a word.

So
…
it
had to be Scott
, reappearing from wherever he’d been
.  He was just watching me
shower
.  Oh, shit.  That was fucking hot.  This was another foreplay moment, like when I’d been rubbing his chest with oil.  And, hell…we’d wound up in the shower
then
too.
  I decided to have fun with it.
  If watching me shower got him all hot and bothered, I was going to make quite a show of it.

I pretended not to see him.  Even if he knew I knew, I figured it would be hotter if he felt voyeuristic.  I decided to do everything I needed to in the shower but to make it as sexy as possible.  So when I shampooed my hair, I arched my back while I rubbed it in and rinsed it out.  I didn’t know how much he could see
, but there was a frosted window in the shower and so I was backlit with sunlight.  Surely, he could see a lot.  I supposed if I could make out his shape, figure out it was him, he could see a lot too, and what he couldn’t quite make out, his imagination could run with.

So when I took the bar of soap, I ran it over my arms first, just gliding a hand up and down, but I had lots of fun washing my breasts and tummy.  If watching me touch my breasts had the effect on him I thought it would, he would be getting pretty hot about now.  I know I was.  So then I extended one leg, placing my foot on the edge of the tub, gliding the bar of soap up slowly.  And then I did it with the other leg.  Okay…now it was starting to feel a little creepy.  He wasn’t even moving.  He should have stripped his clothes off by now and just jumped in with me already.  So I finished up and rinsed off.  I was feeling desirous already.
  I couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when I got out.  I shut off the water and opened the door.