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Authors: Thornton Wilder

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Theophilus North (48 page)

BOOK: Theophilus North
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The man said, “That's right, Toinette. Tell the whole boat your cabin number.”

“Tomorrow, Edgar, I shall ask you to apologize to Toinette. You forget that you were brought up to be a gentleman—and the son of Senator Montgomery!”

“Women's voices! Women's voices! Insinuations, innuendoes! Nagging! I can't stand any more. You can sit here quietly until the boat sinks. I'm going to bed and I'm going to lock the door. I'll put your dressing-case in the corridor. You can bunk with Toinette.”

“Toinette, here's my key to the cabin. Will you kindly pack my necessaries in my dressing-case.—Edgar, please remain at this table until Toinette has collected my things. I shall not say a word.”

“Where's that waiter? I want to pay the bill. Waiter! Waiter!—What are you doing with my purse?”

“If I'm to arrange for another cabin I shall need some money. I'm your wife. I shall pay your bill here too.”

“Stop! How much are you taking?”

“I may have to bribe the purser for a cabin.”

Edgar Montgomery rose and strolled moodily the length of the saloon. I caught a glimpse of his dark tormented face. He had what we used to call a “weeping willow” mustache. He peered into the card room and the coffee rooms (scarlet damask and gilt mirrors).

Toinette returned with the dressing-case. I turned and saw her descending the great staircase. She was dressed in what I assumed to be a French maid's uniform for street-wear in winter. It was a jacket and skirt in the severest dark-blue wool, probably to be worn under a long swinging cape. It was close-fitting and the edges were “piped” (is that right?) in black braid. If you have an eye for simplicity, it was exceedingly elegant. But what smote me was her carriage. At the age of twenty-one I had no wide experience in such matters, but I had seen “La Argentina” and her company dance in San Francisco when I was sixteen and had saved up my money in the New Haven years to see Spanish dancing—what I called to myself the “spine of steel” of Spanish women, the “walk of the tigress,” the “touch-me-not” arrogance of the dancer relative to her partner. Toinette came down those stairs not only without lowering her eyes to her feet, without lowering her eyes below the level of the horizontal regard. Zowie! Olé!! What deportment! She soon passed out of my line of vision.

“Madam,” she said in a low voice, “I'd be very happy if you used my cabin. It's not for long and I've often sat up the night.”

“I wouldn't think of it, Toinette. Will you sit here by the dressing-case while I go down to the purser's office? The trip was a mistake. Both the doctor and I thought he was so much better. Toinette, don't give a thought to me. You go to bed when you're ready.”

Mr. Montgomery made as though to approach them, then changed his mind and ascended the great staircase. Apparently a number of the cabins had doors that opened on the gallery as well as on the deck. He entered his and shut the door resolutely.

Toinette whispered something into his wife's ear.

“That's all right, Toinette. I did as the doctor told me. I emptied the
things
and put some blank cartridges in the chambers.”

Mrs. Montgomery sat in silence for a moment. She then turned and looked briefly at me as I did at her. A very handsome woman. After a pause she turned again and said, “Sergeant, have you a cabin to yourself?”

“Yes, madam,” I said, rising to military attention.

“I'll give you thirty dollars for it.”

“Madam, I'll clear out at once and give you the key, but I'll take no money for it. I'll get my gear and be back in a moment.”

“Stop! I won't accept it.”

She left the hall, descending the steps to the purser's office. I turned and saw Toinette's full face for the first time—a fascinating triangular face of what I took to be some Mediterranean origin, dark eyes, dark lashes, and an air of mock gravity over the distressing situation that had brought us together.

“Madam,” I said. “If I give you the key to my cabin, I think she'd accept yours. I have some friends on the boat. They're sitting up all night and have asked me to play cards with them. I've often sat up all night playing cards.”

“Corporal, we must let these people work things out in their own way.”

“It's hard to believe that Mr. Montgomery is a grown-up man.”

“Rich boys never really grow up—or seldom.”

I started. I'd been warned strongly for years against making generalizations. I was ready to weigh Toinette's.

“Madam, what was that I heard about guns?”

“May I ask your name, sir?”

“North, Theodore North.”

“My name is Mrs. Wills. May I take you into my confidence, Mr. North?”

“Yes, madam.”

“Mr. Montgomery has always played with guns. Though I have never heard of his firing one except at cardboard targets. He thinks he has enemies. He keeps a revolver always in the drawer by his bedside table. All rich boys do. Mr. Montgomery has little nervous breakdowns from time to time. Mrs. Montgomery was advised by his doctor last week to substitute blank cartridges for real bullets. They're almost noiseless—just cork and feathers, I think. He's a little disturbed tonight—that's the way we put it. If Mrs. Montgomery insists on sitting up all night, I shall sit up too.”

I said firmly, “I'll sit up too. Excuse me, Mrs. Wills—what do you think will happen?”

“Well, I know he's not going to sleep. Maybe in half an hour he's going to come to his senses and be ashamed of himself for throwing his wife out of his cabin. Anyway, he'll come out to see the effect of his big noise. Sooner or later he'll break down—tears, apologies.—They're dependent, men like that. He'll consent to take a
piqûre
. Do you know what a
piqûre
is?”

“A puncture—I mean, an injection.”

“All those words have soothing names around here. We call it a little sleeping-aid.”

“Who gives it to him?”

“Mrs. Montgomery, mostly.”

“It must be an exciting life for you, madam.”

“Not any more. I've given Mr. Montgomery notice that I'm leaving in two weeks. While we were in New York I arranged for some new work.”

“I'm going to sit here where I can see him come out of that door on the balcony. If he's as what you call disturbed as that, we may see some action. I wish you'd sit where you could see it too and where I could catch your eye.”

“I will. You're a planner, aren't you, Corporal?”

“I never thought of it that way, ma'am. Perhaps I am.
Now
I am when I see you mixed up in a thing like this. Even dummy bullets can cause a bit of trouble.”

I couldn't take my eyes off her and our eyes were constantly meeting with little sparks of recognition. I sent up a trial kite. “Mr. Wills must be glad that you're resigning from an unpleasant situation like this.”

“Mr. Wills? That's another piece of business I did in New York this last week. I put my husband on a ship for England. He was homesick for London. He didn't like America and took to drinking. The mistakes we make don't really hurt us, Corporal, when we understand every inch of the ground.”

I was losing my distrust of generalizations.

Mrs. Montgomery reappeared. It was apparent that her inquiries had been fruitless. I again offered her my key. “There are all-night card games at Fort Adams every Saturday night. I've often joined them.”

She looked at me directly. “Would you like to play cards?”

“Very much. There are some friends of mine in the next room. If Mrs. Wills would play with us we'd only need one of them.”

“I don't play cards, Corporal North,” said Toinette.

“There are two soldiers there that play well and would appreciate playing with a lady.”

“Corporal, my name is Mrs. Montgomery. My husband has had many things to worry him lately. When I find that he's moody I often leave him alone to rest.”

“I'll get the cards and the men, Mrs. Montgomery. We'd better play bridge for low stakes. When men return from leave they generally have very little money in their pockets.”

What was in my mind was that they might take her over the barrel.

“You're very kind, Corporal.”

The men I selected were eager to play with a lady. I dug into my uniform and pulled out two ten-dollar bills. “Low stakes, fellas—just to pass the time. Lady's husband's a little off his head but not dangerous.—Mrs. Montgomery, this is Sergeant Major Norman Sykes. He was wounded overseas and has been sent back to build up cadres over here. This is Corporal Wilkins. He's a librarian in Terre Haute, Indiana.”

With no apparent effort on my part I seated myself in direct view of the Montgomery cabin. I placed Mrs. Montgomery at my left. By turning her head Mrs. Montgomery could see her cabin door; as far as I was aware she did not glance at it once. She was charming; so was the sergeant. Wilkins ran off to find a cleaner pack of cards.

“From what state do you come, Sergeant Major Sykes?”

“I'm a Tennessee wildcat, ma'am. I had only a short lick of schooling, but I was reading the Bible at six. I'm in the Army for life. I got a bit of steel in my shoulder, but the Army's found work for me to do. I've got three little wildcats of my own. Young children take a lot of feeding, as you may know, ma'am. . . . I had the good fortune to marry the brightest, prettiest schoolteacher in Tennessee.”

“I think the good fortune was equally divided, Sergeant.”

“That was very pleasant-spoken, ma'am. We have a good number of Montgomerys in Tennessee and I've noticed they're all pleasant-spoken.”

“That is not always true of the Montgomerys of Newport, I'm sorry to say.”

“Well,” said the sergeant soothingly, “civil manners come hard to some folks.”

“How true!”

Wilkins returned with fresh cards and we were soon engrossed in tense play. From time to time I exchanged glances with Toinette. She was engaged—or perhaps pretended to be—in mending or altering a skirt.

Neither of us missed the moment at which Mr. Montgomery stepped out of his cabin onto the gallery. He had changed into a burgundy-colored velveteen smoking jacket. He gazed down for a few moments on the congenial foursome. Nothing irritates a bully like seeing others having a good time without him. There's a generalization for you. I could swear that Mrs. Montgomery was aware of his presence also. She raised her voice and said, “Three no trumps! Sergeant, we must pull ourselves together.”

“Ma'am,” he said, “I'm a slow warmer-upper. We'll take their shirts yet. Pardon the expression.”

Mr. Montgomery slowly passed along the balcony and as slowly descended the great staircase. He crossed to the bar and ordered a set-up, reached into one pocket, then the other, and brought out a flask. He poured from its contents into his glass which he carried to a table. He sat down, facing us directly, and gazed at us somberly.

To myself I said, “He's going to goof.”

The majority of the passengers had dispersed to their cabins, but there was a large group of intermittently noisy drinkers at the bar. Eight strokes of the ship's bell were clearly audible.

“Midnight,” said the sergeant.

“Midnight,” said I.

I glanced at Toinette. Still smiling she performed an odd bit of pantomime. She leaned toward the right as though she were about to fall out of her chair and then dropped her piece of sewing from her right hand to the floor. I got the idea at once.

“It's your play, Corporal North,” said Mrs. Montgomery.

The game continued for a few moments. Then slowly Mr. Montgomery's hand went to his right pocket. His wife rose. “Excuse me, gentlemen, I must speak to my husband.”

At that moment he fired. A wad of cork struck my right shoulder and fell on the table before me.

I fell off my chair and lay dead on the floor.

“Edgar!” cried Mrs. Montgomery.

“Corporal!” cried Toinette and rushed to my side. “He's wounded! Corporal! Corporal! Can you hear me?”

Mr. Montgomery was panting. He doubled up, retching. The sergeant strode over to him and tore the gun out of his hand; he cocked it and dropped the cartridges on the table.

“Duds!” he said, “goddamned
DUDS
!”

Toinette was slapping my cheeks. “Corporal, can you hear me?”

I sat up. “I guess it was just the shock, ma'am,” I said, blissfully.

The barman's chin hung like a swinging satchel. The noisy revelers had observed nothing.

Mrs. Montgomery leaned over her husband. “Edgar, you're tired. We're both tired. It's been a very pleasant trip, hasn't it?—but
wearing
. You've been simply splendid. Now I think you might have a very small sleeping-aid. We'll have forgotten all about it by tomorrow. Say good night to all these friends. Barman, will five dollars cover my husband's bill? Here, Sergeant, take this for my share in our losses; if it's too big, give the rest to your church.”

Mr. Montgomery had raised his head and was peering about him. “What happened, Martha? Was anybody hurt?”

“Corporal North, will you take Mr. Montgomery's other arm? I can carry the dressing-case, Toinette. I won't need you. Edgar, don't stop for the flask now. Let's leave it for these gentlemen who kindly asked me to join their game.”

Mr. Montgomery didn't want the help of my arm. “Please go away from me, sir. . . . Martha,
what happened?

“You and your schoolboy jokes! You made us laugh. . . . Turn right, Edgar. . . . No, the next door. Good night, gentlemen. Thank you all.”

“I don't want his gun,” said the sergeant, “or his liquor neither. I took the Pledge.”

“So did I,” said the corporal.

“I'll give them to him in the morning,” said Toinette, dropping them into her sewing bag.

BOOK: Theophilus North
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