These Foolish Things (5 page)

“Not me,” said Liz. “I’ll stick to my nice, quiet
transactional stuff that doesn’t require litigation.”

Ty looked at her, puzzled. “But you’re good.” Liz started to
protest, but he overrode her, “No, you have talent for litigation, why don’t
you want to do it?”

“Just because you’re skilled at something doesn’t
necessarily mean you enjoy it. I was very good at the job I held before I went
to law school and I hated every minute of it,” Liz replied. “Anyway, I was
talking about McCafferty when I asked what happens next. Is this sort of
behavior normal?”

Ty actually laughed. “I don’t think ‘normal’ really applies
to Judge McCafferty. He has his own way of doing things. Usually, it’s ‘Thank
you. Next case’ and that’s that. I wonder what he’s up to.” This last on a
musing note.

Liz looked towards the door to the judge’s chambers. “Maybe
he’s rummaging for a toothbrush for you.” She heard Ty laugh as the door opened
again and McCafferty re-emerged.

“All rise.” They stood behind their desks.

Judge McCafferty looked extraordinarily pleased with
himself. Smug, even. “Counsel, approach the bench.” Ty and Liz approached the
bench as instructed.

McCafferty spoke, “There’s still the matter of Counselor
Hadley’s contempt of court. It is the decision of this court that Attorney
Tyrone Hadley will serve a sentence of one night…”

“Your Honor!” Liz protested.

“Silence,” McCafferty continued unperturbed. “Either in the
Suffolk County facility or in Attorney Gardner’s company.” He looked at the two
attorneys.

“What?” It was said in unison.

F.L. McCafferty beamed in a fatherly fashion at the two
astonished people standing before him. “You will, Brother Hadley, escort this
young woman to dinner and any other amusements she may desire this upcoming
Saturday or you can spend that night in jail. Your choice.”

“Your Honor, I protest,” Liz said forcefully, “This is a
clear case of abuse of judicial power and a violation of First Amendment rights.”

McCafferty blinked. “First Amendment?”

“Freedom of association, which is also freedom from
association. You cannot use the power vested in you by the Commonwealth of
Massachusetts to force people together in a social setting.”

Liz heard Ty mutter behind her. “Good argument.”

McCafferty didn’t care. “Fine. Sue me. By the time it gets
to the Supreme Court, I’ll be dead and your,” he gestured at the two of them,
“grandchildren can argue it.” He addressed Ty, “What’s it to be, Counselor? An
evening out with the lady or a night in the slammer?”

Ty looked at Liz. “Pick you up at 7?”

“Address yourself to the court, Counselor,” McCafferty
snapped.

Ty looked up at the judge. “Sorry, Your Honor. May it please
the court, I’ll serve my sentence with Attorney Gardner.” McCafferty nodded.
“Well done. Let the record show Attorney Hadley has received a suspended
sentence. Here,” he handed a disposable camera to Ty. “You will furnish proof
satisfactory to this court that you provided Attorney Gardner with a fine
evening of entertainment. Have someone take a picture of the two of you
together. And here,” he handed a piece of paper to Ty. “You will take her to
one of these restaurants. They’ll be expecting your call for reservations.” Ty
accepted the items without comment.

Liz was aghast. Before she could say anything, McCafferty
rapped his gavel. “Court adjourned.”

Liz found her voice. “Your Honor, permission to speak freely
and off the record?”

McCafferty was rising from his seat, looked at her. “My
chambers. Let’s go.”

Liz followed him into his chambers. She was fuming and
allowed McCafferty to remove his robe and seat himself before she spoke.

“Go ahead, Counselor.”

“Where do you get off? Ty didn’t deserve a contempt citation
and he sure as hell didn’t deserve to be forced into dating someone against his
wishes. What the hell were you thinking?” Liz snapped. She pointed to her eye.
“This was an accident that happened because he wasn’t going to ease up in
trying to score a run and I wasn’t going to let him do it.”

“I know. Brad Rogers lost $100 to me on the game. I saw you
play. You’re tough.” McCafferty was smiling. “It was a close call. I was
surprised when you came up with the ball. So was Hadley.” He said, almost to
himself. “Rogers is due for a contempt citation next time he’s in here for
calling you a ‘big mama’.”

“So, this whole contempt thing was a farce,” Liz was still
angry, “That was a rotten thing to do and humiliating besides. Undo it.”

McCafferty smilingly shook his head. “Can’t undo it, Lass.
It’s on the record and I can’t have word get around that I’ve gone soft. Being
considered a lunatic has its benefits.” He leaned forward. “I thought I saw
something between the two of you on the field. You should have seen his face
after they untangled you. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you.”

“Your Honor, it’s a good thing you weren’t umping the game,
because you’re seeing things. He was surprised that he didn’t get past me.”

“I think he was even more surprised when you kissed him.” McCafferty
retorted calmly. “Yes, I saw that. I also saw a woman zealously defending a man
who wasn’t her client in my courtroom today.”

“That’s because of the injustice of the contempt charge,
Your Honor,” Liz snapped. “I hate bullies.”

McCafferty raised his eyebrows. “So I’m a bully?” he asked
softly.

“If you abuse your power in that fashion, you sure as hell
are.” Liz couldn’t believe she’d said that.Surprisingly, he chuckled. Liz
braced herself for whatever came next.

“May I call you Elizabeth? We’re not in session right now.” Liz
nodded. “You know, Elizabeth, you remind me of my wife.” A wistful smile
crossed McCafferty’s face. “She’d have stood here and read me the riot act just
like you did and for the same reasons. And, you know, in the end we were both
right. She just didn’t like my methodology.”

Liz calmed somewhat. “I’m sorry, Sir. Did she pass away?” Here,
McCafferty shook his head sadly. “No. Worse. She’s in a nursing home with
Alzheimer’s. It’s been over two years since she’s recognized me.” He fell
silent for a couple of minutes, head bowed. Eventually, he looked up again. “Anyway,
go make your arrangements with Hadley for Saturday night. Stop,” he held up a
hand to stop Liz from arguing further. “The court has rendered judgment and it
shall be carried out or the two of you WILL have cells next to each other. Go.”

Liz turned and left, quietly closing the door behind her. Ty
was still sitting on the plaintiff’s desk in the courtroom, curiosity all over
his face.

“What happened?” he asked.

Liz sighed. “The man wouldn’t listen to reason. I tried, but
you’re still on the hook. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

Ty shrugged. “It could have been worse. Did you have plans
for Saturday?” He was watching her face closely.

“I was just going to a jazz club for the second set. Diana
Krall’s playing. I have a ticket.”

“Just one ticket?” Ty sounded surprised.

Liz looked at him. “Well, yeah, since I’m the only one who
was going. I’d have gotten another, but my imaginary friend doesn’t like jazz.”
Keep it light, keep it light.

Ty laughed. “You’ve got a comeback for everything, don’t you?”

Liz smiled. “Just about. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he was smiling. “I like wit.” Ty held out
a pad and pen. “Why don’t you jot down your address for me and directions. I
have to return a couple of phone calls. How’s the head?”

It had stopped pounding, amazingly. Liz said, “It’s better.
Look, are you sure you wouldn’t rather have me meet you somewhere?”

Ty stopped in the act of dialing a number, “Not if I want to
stay out of jail.” He continued what he was doing.

As Liz wrote, she thought that maybe McCafferty was right
and there was some kind of spark there. There had been a warm, happy light in
his eyes as Ty talked with her. Just as Liz was beginning to think it was
possible that McCafferty was not a lunatic, she heard Ty saying, “Hey,” in a
soft, warm lover’s voice. She couldn’t see his end of the conversation because
he was on her blind side, so she focused on her task. McCafferty was a lunatic.

Liz finished writing. She screwed the cap back onto the
expensive fountain pen, thankful she hadn’t gotten ink on herself. She waited
until Ty ended his conversation to hand him the pad and pen with a smile.

“All set.” Ty looked quickly at the pad. “Salem? Isn’t that
a little far out?” He looked at Liz’s face.

“Are we talking distance or attitude?” Liz asked.

Ty smiled again.

“Little of both, maybe. I was thinking distance, but,” a
look of mock suspicion crossed his face, “you’re not a witch, are you?”

Liz chuckled. “Hardly, although I’ve been called that a few
times by people who didn’t want to use the ‘B’ word that rhymes with it. I just
like the city.” She began to gather up her briefcase to depart.

“So, you’re not going to turn me into a toad if I’m late,” Ty
said teasingly.

“No, just a jailbird.” She heard him laughing as she started
to leave.

His voice stopped her.

“You know, Counselor, after your first courtroom win, it’s
customary to buy the losing attorney a drink.”

Liz turned around, looking at him curiously. “I’ve never
heard that,” she said. Was he asking her out? “Besides, it’s kind of early in
the day, isn’t it?”

Ty shrugged. “The sun’s over the yardarm somewhere. And when
I lose, a drink is in order. Like that softball game,” he added with a smile.

Liz smiled back at him. “With your win record, you must be
pretty dry by now. After that session, I could do with a double shot of
something to calm my nerves, but I’ll have to give you a rain check. Dan left
me with a pile of work and I’ll be staying late as it is.”

“Wait.”

Ty was coming after her with an envelope in his hand. “Here,
you forgot something.” He smiled as he handed her the envelope, his fingers
touching hers. “I’ll see you Saturday” and Liz felt that crazy zinging
sensation down her spine again.

“Saturday it is.” And she left.

Later, when Liz got back to her office, after giving the
play by play of the morning’s adventure to Millie (“I’m telling you, Elizabeth,
the psychic was right”), she opened the envelope. Inside was a check payable
for $1,500 to Elizabeth Gardner. The memo line read, “Screw Dan. You earned it.”

Liz thought she heard someone knocking on the front door,
but couldn’t be sure, since the sound was muffled by her distance from the
door. Of course, since her dress wasn’t zipped and she was still barefoot and
without makeup, then, naturally, someone was most likely at the door.

“Just a minute!” she yelled as she raced down the stairs. A
quick look around. No Beanie in sight, but that meant nothing. Liz opened the
front door, praying she’d heard things.

Tyrone Hadley stood on the front step with the screen door
opened.

“Hi. By order of the Honorable Francis L. McCafferty, I’m
here to escort you to dinner and…” He didn’t finish because a cat darted past
him to the great outdoors.

“Aw, dammit! Beanie, get back here!” called Liz. “Excuse me,
but he’s an escape artist.” She pushed past Ty, who suddenly found himself
holding the door open to an empty house.

Beanie was trotting down the sidewalk, very pleased with
himself. Liz could tell by the way he was switching his tail. God, the sidewalk
was hot. Luckily, she knew how to win this game. “Who’s the smart kitty? Who’s
the clever boy? Is it that Beanie?” She saw him stop and turn towards her
voice, tail wagging.

“Who’s a black and white menace to society?” This was in a
sweet, light voice, but it made Beanie roll on the ground. Liz scooped him up.

“Gotcha, you sneaky little bugger.”

Beanie didn’t care. He kneaded Liz’s shoulder and purred as
she carried him back to the house. Ty held the door open and followed Liz into
the house.

“Sorry about that! Oops! Hold still,” Liz felt him zip up
her dress, his fingers lightly brushing her skin. Even when he’d finished, Liz
could still feel his touch.

She turned around, Beanie still in her arms. “Thanks. This
is Beanie, by the way,” she said for lack of anything better.

Ty smiled, “Hi, Beanie.” He put a hand out to pat Beanie’s
head. Beanie took hold of Ty’s hand, licking his fingers and purring. Ty
laughed. “Vicious animal.”

Liz smiled. “Oh yeah. He’s a killer.” She put Beanie on the
floor. Beanie lined his rear end up with Ty’s leg and vigorously wagged his
tail, looking up at Ty through big green eyes and purring loudly. Ty bent over
and Beanie rolled to get a tummy scratch.

“Let me guess: He has some stupid name like Beanie
Pawsworthy Ruffington the Third,” Ty said as he scratched.Liz smiled tightly
over Ty’s head. Here come the cat lady comments.

“You’re right, Beanie Pawsworthy Ruffington the Third is a
very stupid name. However, Beanie Pawsworthy Ruffington the Fourth is not.” She
managed not to snap at him.

Ty looked up at her. “I’m sorry, I was just joking. I didn’t
mean to offend.” He stood up, studying her face.

“I’m sorry, too. I just get defensive very easily. His name
is B and E, but if you say it fast…”

“It sounds like Beanie,’ Ty finished. “Why B and E?”

The scratching having ended, Beanie got up, trotted into the
kitchen and pawed open a cabinet door. In a minute, all that could be seen was
a furry white rump and fluffy black wagging tail.

Liz laughed. Beanie could break her bad moods without
trying. “His specialty is breaking and entering and he refused to answer to
Burglar.” To Beanie, she said, “Get your furry ass out of that cabinet.” He
obeyed.

“See, Beanie understands that the phrase ‘furry ass’ means
‘Cease and desist all unlawful activity or prepare to get sprayed.’” Liz
explained.