Things I Can't Forget (3 page)

friday, june 1 ~ week 1 of 7

After two hours of ethics, and in a very un-camping-like move, Megan announces we’re having pizza delivered for dinner.

“Really?” Eric says, throwing his hands in the air before going back to cleaning supplies in his tackle box. He must be pissed we’re not out hunting deer with bows and arrows and grilling it up. This isn’t
Beowulf
, Eric. It’s 2012!

“Everyone give Matt your topping preference,” Megan says.

With my hands in my back pockets, I approach the picnic table where he’s hovering over a sheet of paper with a laughing Andrea. She touches his elbow and whispers in his ear while I stand there.

He clicks his pen, edging away from her. “What’ll you have, King Crab Kate?”

“Pepperoni and mushrooms, Miniature Poodle Matt.”

Grinning, he writes my order down in shaky cursive. It’s cute.

“Anything else?” Andrea asks me. She moves so close to him she might as well sit on his lap.

“Nope.”

“We’ll tell you when the food gets here,” she replies, and goes back to acting like I don’t exist.

“Thanks,” Matt says to me, fumbling with his pen. He glances up at my face. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you with that whole riding in your pouch thing.”

“It’s fine,” I say. “I have no idea what you meant, but it’s okay.”

“I have no idea what I meant either.” He smiles, pushing the pen behind his ear. He places his palms on the picnic table and leans toward me. “So you’re going to Belmont this fall—”

“Let’s start unpacking supplies,” Megan interrupts, so I smile at him before moving away. We all start sorting through big white boxes of camp T-shirts, games, spatulas, frying pans. I dig right into the new paints and crayons, and start surveying the arts and crafts closet in the open-air pavilion. I have to admit, I love being surrounded by fresh air and listening to crickets and other bugs making their noises. It’s relaxing and I can let my brain float away into a world of colors.

I love painting and sketching. My Uncle Steve is a cartoonist and has been drawing political comics for
The
Tennessean
for the past twenty years, but it doesn’t pay much—Uncle Steve has borrowed money from Daddy on occasion. Grandpa Kelly always says that drawings don’t get you anywhere in life, really, and while I spend lots of rainy Saturday afternoons doing watercolors and sketching, it’s something I do to de-stress. My parents think I have the ability to become a lawyer, like Daddy and Aunt Missy and Grandpa Kelly.

The truth is, I have no idea what I want to major in. Architecture, a career that requires a lot of math, aka something I am truly terrible at? Art, a career where I’d make no money? Interior design, like Mom? Pre-law track, like Daddy? I should decide soon: college starts in three months, after all, and if I could figure out what to do with my life, I wouldn’t waste time taking classes that won’t count toward my major.

I unload a bag of my own supplies into the closet. I brought a painting I did when I was a camper: a watercolor painting of White Oak cabin. I tack it on the inside of the door, to remind myself of how much I loved Cumberland Creek as a kid.

“That’s beautiful,” I hear a voice say, and turn around to find Parker standing there with Will.

“Thanks. I did it a long time ago.”

Her eyes widen. “I didn’t know you’re into art.”

“My one true love.” I give her a smile.

“Really?” Brad says, striding up with hands in his pockets.

“I also love soccer. And coffee.”

Brad chuckles. “Do you need caffeine to survive? Because they don’t serve Coke at the cafeteria here.” He shudders, as Carlie walks over.

“I totally forgot about that,” Will whines. “I remember when I was little, how at the end of a week of camp, I always begged Mom to take me straight to McDonald’s for a Coke.”

“I did the same thing,” I say with a smile. “We’ll have to get a secret stash.”

“Don’t say that too loud,” Brad says quietly. “Megan’s a real stickler for us following the same rules campers do.”

“I’m surprised our lights-out time isn’t nine p.m. like the campers,” Ian says.

“I’ll have to get some of those Five-Hour Energy things,” Parker jokes.

“I don’t know what I’m gonna do without cigarettes,” Carlie groans. “Last summer I died without them. But some nights I was able to sneak away and smoke down by the lake.”

The Middle Tennessee regional conference is made up of six churches, and each nominates members to be counselors here every summer. I’ve never been to any of the other churches, but based on how Carlie and Andrea act, I can’t imagine those churches are anything like Forrest Sanctuary.

“People smoke here?” I whisper to Parker. She goes to my church, so she should understand what I’m thinking.

“So what?” she says quietly.

“So I didn’t think people would do that sort of thing here.”

“I don’t care one way or the other,” Parker replies, rolling her eyes. “It’s not my business.”

After hearing that, I edge away from the conversation and finish unpacking my art supplies. This is church camp. I don’t think it’s right for counselors to sneak away at night to go smoke. And since I sinned majorly, I need to show God that I’m still a good person.

The pizza comes, and after we say grace, we divvy it up. Andrea grabs a seat right next to Matt. I had been planning on trying to sit with him. He looks over at me and raises his shoulders, as if to say he’s sorry.

I sit down beside Brad and sip my water. “Is your arm okay?” I ask, checking out those bruises again.

He shoves his sleeve down, trying to cover them. “It’s fine.”

“Looks painful.”

Brad nods. “It was. A game of pick-up basketball got nasty.”

“Did you get into a fight or something?”

“Nah, I fell onto the asphalt,” he says, but I don’t believe him one bit. The bruises look like finger marks. He pulls down on his T-shirt again. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” he asks.

“It’s just me,” I reply. I nibble at a pepperoni, then focus on Matt across the pavilion. He laughs at something Parker just said and scratches his cheek before folding a slice in half and taking a huge bite. He and I keep glancing at each other so much I guess it finally gets to Andrea.

She stands up and says, “We should play another introduction game. To get to know the new hires better.”

“Who’s up for a game of Never Have I Ever?” Carlie asks.

Ian says, “Yeah! I’ll get the pennies.”

“Let’s move it over here,” Matt says, coming to sit beside me on the bench. I’m sandwiched between him and Bumblebee Brad.

Everyone squeezes around my picnic table except for Megan and Eric, who’s going on and on about how his girlfriend dumped him.

“I’m sorry,” Megan says, not sounding sorry at all.

“Two years gone. That’s all,” Eric replies. He wipes his mouth with a napkin and taps his big brown combat boot on the concrete floor.

Matt leans over to my ear. “Megan wants Eric bad. And Eric wants Megan’s job bad. And Megan is trying to protect her job while trying to win Eric’s love.”

I cringe.

“Exactly the response I was looking for,” Matt says with a laugh. “Last summer I about put my name up for the director position just so I wouldn’t have to deal with them anymore.”

I shake my head at him, smiling. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because that would require me to be responsible. Now, are we ready to play?”

Everyone has a pile of pennies in front of them. The rules are this:

Someone says something they have never done. For instance, I have never gone deep sea fishing. If a player has gone deep sea fishing, he or she has to throw a penny in a bucket in the center of the table. The pennies don’t really mean anything except to show who’s done what. It’s like a game of Truth or Dare with cash but without the dare. I would rather have the dare than deal with truth after truth after truth.

Carlie goes first. She taps a penny on the picnic table. “Never have I ever gone skydiving.”

Ian is the only person who throws a penny in the bucket.

“That’s hot,” Carlie says to him. “You must be fearless.”

“Totally fearless,” Ian growls, and I get the sense that if no one else was here, they’d totally sweep the bucket of pennies to the floor and start going at it on the picnic table.

Matt whispers in my ear again. “They hook up every summer. She gets away with anything ’cause her mom is vice president of the regional conference.”

Ian says, “Never have I ever worn ladies’ underwear.”

All the girls throw a penny in the bucket, and Will pretends like he’s about to, then he changes his mind. Parker smacks his arm playfully.

Will goes next. “Never have I ever scored a B in a class.”

Everyone throws a penny in except for me and Parker.

“You’re a braniac, eh?” Matt says quietly to me. I like the way his breath feels warm on my ear. Our shoulders touch.

“I’m going to bed, y’all,” Megan says, leaving the pavilion. “Don’t stay up too late.”

Eric then announces he’s going to ensure the camp’s main gate is locked so that intruders can’t get in.

“Now we can play for real,” Andrea whispers, twirling her blond hair.

“That guy is such a douche,” I hear Ian muttering to Brad, who nods.

“Never have I ever gone skinny dipping,” Andrea says.

“No one believes that,” Brad says, as Ian and Carlie throw pennies into the bucket. Yay, Matt doesn’t toss a penny! Will drops a penny in the bucket, then shrugs sheepishly at a gaping Parker. She rolls her eyes and throws a penny in too.

“Never have I ever been in love,” Brad says.

Andrea and Ian throw pennies into the bucket. Parker’s face grows pink and Will lowers his chin. They aren’t in love yet? Matt raps his penny on the table for a second, then tosses his in.

I clutch my penny, wishing I could say I’ve been in love. I glance sideways at Matt, to find he’s looking out of the pavilion into the woods. Who has he been in love with?

“Your turn, Parker,” Carlie says.

Parker gets this really coy look on her face. “Never have I ever kissed a girl.”

All of the guys toss a penny into the bucket. And then Carlie and Andrea do too.

My mouth falls open.

Matt leans over to my ear again. “I bet they kissed each other. For practice.”

I can’t help but laugh. Andrea shoots me a look.

“Who’s next?” Brad asks. “You go, Kate.”

I chew on my thumb. “Never have I ever eaten coconut ice cream.”

Everyone glances around at each other. Andrea snorts. Matt, Carlie, Brad, and Parker throw pennies in.

Matt grins at me sideways. “I’m a vanilla guy, myself.”

“I like strawberry,” I reply.

“Coconut tastes like ass,” Ian announces, tossing a penny in.

“Your turn, Matt!” Andrea says loudly.

He leans his head back, thinking. “Never have I ever driven heavy construction equipment.”

Nobody throws a penny in.

“Boring,” Carlie says. Her mouth lifts into a smirk, and she glances between me and Matt. “Never have I ever gone streaking across the MTSU campus.”

Matt sneaks a glimpse of me, then raps a penny on the table before tossing it in the bucket.

“I still can’t believe I missed seeing that!” Andrea exclaims.

“That takes balls,” Will says, shaking his head.

“I heard what they made you do with that banana in the dining hall,” Ian says to Matt, laughing.

I sit up straight.

“My frat made me do it,” Matt whispers to me, avoiding my eyes. “To get in.”

He’s been in love. He might still be in love. His body has transformed from that of Bill Nye Science Guy to that of Adonis. Girls talk about him in the bathroom, and it’s not to make fun of him. He streaks across campus to impress other guys.

And my pile of pennies is mostly untouched.

•••

I roll my suitcase over the bumpy, dusty trail toward Birdland. Megan said we should go ahead and get our cabins set up for this week. Brad and I have been assigned to the Cardinal cabins.

Andrea and Carlie pass by me, carrying sleeping bags and pillows, chatting about some shirt they like at Abercrombie.

Ian sprints by me, slaps my arm, and yells, “You’re it!”

Brad and Matt chase behind him, whooping.

Their noise echoes in the wind. The wind rustles the fragrant pine trees. I try to find the moon over the tops of the trees, but they’re too tall. These woods must be several hundred years old—they’re large and in charge.

That’s when Parker and Will come walking up. He’s carrying two sleeping bags over his shoulders and she’s hugging his waist and laughing. They pause to kiss.

I clear my throat to let them know I’m here.

They break apart and she wipes her mouth with two fingers. “Hey, Kate,” she says.

“Where’s everybody going?” I ask.

She looks at him. He looks at her. Will says, “We’re all sleeping over in Dogwood. You can grab a bed in there if you want.”

“Girls are sleeping in the same cabin as boys?” I ask. I thought it was just Carlie and Ian.

“It’s not a big deal,” Parker says with a shrug.

“It’s a big deal to me.” Emily and Jacob always snuck off together and look what happened. And now a bunch of counselors are basically going to share a bedroom?

I bite down on my lips, trying not to remember how Emily’s face looked after the abortion. Splotchy red marks dotted her cheeks and pain filled her glossy eyes. She kept asking me what the doctor was going to do with the baby and I didn’t have the heart to tell her. I just kept squeezing her hand.

“Guys and girls shouldn’t share a cabin,” I say. “It’s probably a sin. What if someone gets pregnant? I’m not helping you if that happens.”

“What did you say?” Parker’s eyes pop open. She grabs Will’s elbow. “I told you I’d try to be nice, but if she acts nasty, it’s really hard for me to care.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Will says in a soothing voice to Parker. “You’re right.”

“Nasty?” I whisper.

“Maybe ‘nasty’ was the wrong word,” Will says carefully, shifting the sleeping bags in his arms.

“What’s the right word?” I ask, almost scared to know.