Throw Away Teen (38 page)

Liz stood and came around the table to me. She pulled me into her arms and rocked me like I was a little kid. “Finish it, B.J. Get it all out. What did the bastard do to you?”

I buried my face in her shirt. “I broke one of the windows. He caught me climbing out and took my clothes. He only left me a blanket.”

She leaned down, whispered. “Did he rape you?”

“No. But he wanted to. He got all excited when he was pounding on me and kicking me. But he left when I pretended to pass out.”

“How did you get away for good?” Ted asked again.

“I waited until he went to work. His wife let me come up for a shower and a meal. I snuck out of the bathroom while she was in the kitchen and climbed out a window. I’d taken one of her shirts and a pair of jeans. Once I was on the street, I caught a ride with these kids who’d stolen a car. When we were pulled over, I told the cops it was my idea to go joy-riding. There was no way they’d let my old caseworker place me anywhere after that. The judge sent me to Evergreen and when my old caseworker retired, Carol was assigned as my social worker.”

“You’re a smart kid,” Ted said. “A survivor. You’re going to make it, B.J.”

I turned my head and watched him come toward us. When he patted my shoulder, I smiled at him. A real smile, not a forced one. “You think so, Ted?”

“I know so. And next time some guy tries to bully you, he’ll be sorry. You’ll kick his butt from here to Tacoma. Right?”

I nodded. “That’s why you signed me up for karate, isn’t it?”

“Yes and when you have your first black belt, you’ll take judo.” Ted put his hand on my arm.

I could’ve pulled away, but I didn’t. “Yeah. Like Liz says, then I’ll be able to throw out the trash after I stomp it.”

“Good girl.” Ted stepped back when Guard dashed into the room and belted for the back door. “I know you’re scared of the dark so I’ll watch you walk him.”

“Okay.” I hustled over and took out my puppy outside. This time when I saw Ted standing on the porch waiting for me, I wasn’t scared. I knew he meant to keep me safe. Me, B.J. Larson. And that was cool.

***

The next afternoon when the bus dropped me off, I saw Jocelyn’s car in the drive. For a brief moment I was worried that Liz had told her daughter about the things I’d said last night, but then I remembered her promise. I headed around the house to the back door. The dogs ran to meet me and I gave Guard his usual hug. Chance was dragging a string around the kitchen for Alfie to chase. Liz was at the counter making my usual after-school snack while Jocelyn loaded the dishwasher.

“Hi, B.J.” Chance beamed at me. “Gramma says I can have my juice with you.”

“’Okay.” I crossed to the table and put my back-pack close by. Guard came over and dropped down next to my stuff.
He sure lives up to his name
, I thought, smiling. He’ll even guard my stuff.

Jocelyn gave me one of her snotty looks. “I still don’t understand why you go by your initials, B.J.”

“And I still don’t understand why you care.”

“B.J.,” Liz said, giving me her
try to play nice
look.

I sighed. “Because I don’t have a real name,” I said, realizing it was the truth. I didn’t have a name, not one I liked. I’d just been given one by the same people who’d thrown me away like yesterday’s garbage. “And B.J. is a lot better than some things I’ve been called.”

“I can help you make up a good name.” Chance told me, climbing up in a chair at the table. “I named all my dolls. They have pretty names, not yucky ones.”

“Okay,” I smiled. “That sounds like fun. What name are you thinking?”

“I don’t know.” Chance looked sober. “I haven’t thunk yet.”

“Yeah, good point.” This kid was pure sunshine and I couldn’t hold back. I gave her a quick hug. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me, too.” Chance heaved a big sigh. “Gramma says you have to ride today so we can’t paint till next time.”

“There’s always tomorrow,” I said. “I’ll be home after cheer practice.”

“Can we, Mommy?”

Jocelyn adopted a martyred expression. “I guess so. I don’t have anything better to do than bring you here and wait while you make a mess.”

“Not a mess,” Chance said, indignant. “I’m doing pictures for Cousin Jessie and Adam.”

“And we’ll put them in the next box to go to Afghanistan.” Liz carried over a sandwich and a plate of cookies. “Next time, Jessie calls, she’ll tell us how much she likes them. And when Adam talks to Cathy, he’ll tell her.”

Jocelyn closed the dishwasher. “Instead of being a doctor, Cathy should just be a doormat. I can’t believe she still does everything for him after he broke their engagement and married her sister.”

“Some people can’t turn off love like a water faucet, honey,” Liz said. “And we all have choices. Your cousin is making hers. I don’t think she’s in love with Adam, but Warren and Sarah need some stability in their lives and Cathy gives it to them.”

Sarah was right about Stewart Falls. This place could so be one of Irene’s day-time dramas. Would I ever learn all the down and dirty facts about the people here? I hoped nobody, except Liz and Ted knew the ones about me. Well, I would keep my mouth shut.

***

The next afternoon, Chance met me at the door. As soon as I had my snack, we got ready to head upstairs to paint.

“Don’t get dirty, Chance,” Jocelyn ordered.

“There’s only one way to prevent that.” Liz opened up a
drawer and pulled out a huge apron. “Here, Chance. This
can be your artist’s smock today.”

“Awesome,” I told Chance who’d looked like she was being
picked on. “Now, you’re a real artist.”

“I sure am.” Chance beamed. “But where’s yours?” she asked as we
started for the stairs.

I shrugged. I felt like I was in charge of a parade. I had her, the dogs, Guard and Alfie bringing up the rear and I wonder where his sister was hiding. Well, Fetty would show up. “I’ll just be writing the words. My mom doesn’t make me wear a smock for that.”

It was the first time I’d ever referred to Liz as my mother and I hoped she understood that I meant it. I wasn’t playing the stupid game that the caseworker had always laid on me when she took me from house to house and said that the people who only took me in for the money were my new moms and dads.

I dropped my backpack off in my room and found Fetty asleep on my bed. Chance caught the little tabby and brought her along as we went on upstairs to the studio. Once I got the paper set up on the big table Ted found for me in the attic, I arranged the watercolors for Chance. “Okay, go for it.”

“Can I really paint here?” Chance put down Fetty and she scrambled after her brother.

“Don’t you want to? There isn’t really anywhere else. I only have one easel and it already has a painting on it.”

Chance shook her head and climbed up on the tall stool in front of the table. “I like being big. I never get to at home.” She smiled when she looked at me. “What should I paint?”

“Whatever you want. A real artist paints what they feel. What do you want to show your Aunt Jessie?”

“Guard-dog and Alfie and Fetty and you and me.” That decided, Chance began to work on her pictures.

While she did her drawings, I worked on my painting of
Ringo. I still hadn’t figured out where I’d put it when I
finished it. If I hung it in my room, Liz and Ted would
definitely know where my head was at. Not a good thing since Ringo and I still weren’t speaking after the way he played me when I had my meltdown.

When Chance finished her first page of paintings, I hung
the paper up to dry. She was working on the second page when the door opened and Jocelyn came in. It irritated me that she hadn’t even bothered to knock. I could’ve done without her. But I didn’t hate her the way I had in the
beginning. “Hi. Are you ready to go?”

“
Yes.” Jocelyn looked around the room. “I can’t believe
the way you’ve wrecked the floor in here. There’s paint everywhere
.”

I had to really look and then I noticed that Chance had
slopped a little bit. But she was having so much fun that I
was pretty sure Liz wouldn’t care. “That’s the hardship of
having a studio.”

“
Let’s go, Chance.”

“
I’m not done yet,” Chance said.

“
I can’t wait any longer. Let’s go.”

Chance slowly slid down from the stool. “You never let me have any fun.
I like B.J. but I don’t like—”

“
Chance,” I interrupted, before Jocelyn could lose it. “If you want to paint with
me again, then you’ve got to stop when your mom says stop.”

“
I don’t need you to back me up,” Jocelyn informed me.

“
I was only trying to help.” I heaved a sigh
. At least if Jocelyn was mad at me, she wouldn’t be
taking it out on Chance.

“
Then don’t come between me and my daughter,” Jocelyn
snapped.

“
Fine. Chance, we’ll finish this project next time you
come.”

“
If you’re still here,” Jocelyn purred. “From what I understand,
that’s in doubt.”

“
No!” Chance screamed. “B.J., don’t go.” She ran to
me and grabbed my legs so I about fell on her. “Don’t go!”

“
Honestly, Chance.” Jocelyn came across the room and
grabbed the girl’s hand. She pulled Chance away from me. “Stop behaving so childishly.”

“
She is a child.” I knew I shouldn’t get involved with her any more than necessary, but I was angry. “And I’m not going anywhere. This is my home. I’m staying
here whether you like it or not.”

“
I’ll
see about that.” Jocelyn lifted Chance into her
arms and the two of them were gone.

Even knowing that Chance had watercolors all over the
apron and it would ruin Jocelyn’s silk blouse didn’t make me feel
better. I hung up Chance’s other picture and cleaned up the mess. Then I headed downstairs where I found Liz talking to Ringo.

“
I came to do the lawn. Want to help me?” Ringo
asked. “You mow. And I’ll weed-eat.”

“’
You gonna pay me?” It felt like our week of silence hadn’t existed. I opened the fridge and took out a Coke. “Do you want one?”

“
Sure. So, what are you working on?” Ringo asked. “I
didn’t know you painted.” A goofy smile lit up his face. “Jocelyn says you’re doing a portrait
of me.”

That witch. And now thanks to her he probably figured I was totally gone on him. I shrugged and
slapped the ice-cold can of pop into his hand. “Dracula was
out of town. “

Ringo just laughed and walked toward the back door like
he was some kind of movie hero.

“
Jerk,” I mumbled, under my breath.

He heard me and laughed again. “Love you, too, babe.”

I watched him disappear out the back door, my face feeling like it was on fire. Then I turned and stared at Liz. “What?”

“
Can I see the painting?” Liz asked. “Or are you
going to paint over it now?”

I felt like a middle-schooler writing hers and
her boyfriend’s names all over a notebook or binder.
“If you want, you can have it.”

“
Let’s go see it. Maybe you can sell it to Ringo’s
mother.”

“
I want to keep it,” I said too quickly.

Liz put her arm around me and we started for the studio. “I think that’s okay, too.”

***

Much to my surprise, Liz said I could stay over with
Willa on Thursday night when her mom was out of town and her dad was teaching a late night class to grad students. That wasn’t the only good thing about
Thursday. When I got ready to leave
Spanish, Senora Carstairs handed me an envelope. “This is the letter your dad asked me for, B.J. Good luck in
court on Monday.”

I stared at the unsealed envelope. ’“Do you
care if I read it?” I didn’t know what Ted had been doing. He and Liz
just said they were going to fix it so I didn’t have to do any
time in detention.

“
You can read it. But all it says is that you’re a
wonderful girl who works hard and that I think you’ve had a raw deal
all around. I also said that I think you should stay in
this home.”

We’d been talking in Spanish so nobody else could understand. But the other students gave us a weird look
when I hugged our teacher.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Senora Carstairs hugged me back. “Good. I’ve enjoyed having
you in class.” Then, with a smirk on her face
, she went over and hugged Willa.

***

That night I was still thinking about the letter. I had
read it on the bus. “Senora Carstairs sure is nice. I never thought I’d like a teacher but I do. Mr. Miller is great, too
.”

Willa finished flipping through the TV guide. She
changed channels, finally landing on an old cowboy show that was just starting.
“We’ve got him for history again next fall. I think you’ll like
this movie. It’s
Stagecoach
with John Wayne.”