Time After Time (13 page)

Hayley settled effortlessly back into her routine of office – home – office, and Friday or Saturday nights with Ellen and Mark. Just the way she liked it – easy and uncomplicated.

It had been five weeks since Hayley’s encounter at the hotel with Ian and she hadn’t heard from him again. She had nothing to say to him anyway. Occasionally, when the feelings of being cheap and slutty crept up on her she flicked them away. After all, the look on his face had been worth it.

‘I’m still shocked at what you did but I’m a bit in awe too,’ Ellen said one night as they watched a new episode of
Men Behaving Badly
at Hayley’s. ‘It was like you were addicted to drugs and you’re finally weaned off him.’

‘I know, god, I’m so relieved,’ Hayley said. ‘I’m finally rid of him.’ She took another handful of popcorn. ‘So … how are the plans going? Have you decided on flowers yet?’

Strangely, only Hayley seemed to exude any form of anxiety about the wedding Ellen and Mark were supposed to be organising for May the next year. Hayley thought they were so relaxed about the whole thing, she wondered if they’d show up in jeans and T-shirts. Or even remember to show up at all.

‘Oh, it’s got to be dahlias, definitely,’ Ellen said. ‘Or tulips. Probably. Something white. Or orange or purple.’

Hayley smiled. ‘Not long to go now and –’ She stopped when she saw Ellen’s face. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I got my period again,’ Ellen said softly.

‘Oh no. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s so unfair.’ Ellen slammed the remote on the sofa. ‘Shelley at work got pregnant the first month they tried and Jules did on her honeymoon.’

‘It’s only been a few months,’ Hayley said as she rubbed Ellen’s arm. ‘This time next year you’ll have a baby so let’s make sure you get a stretchy wedding dress, okay?’

As Ellen put her head on Hayley’s shoulder, Hayley wondered if she’d ever understand Ellen’s unshakable desire to have kids. In fact, she wasn’t sure she had a maternal instinct herself. While she enjoyed looking after her little nephew Lucas, and had squealed when Jackie had recently announced another baby boy would make an appearance next year, she didn’t feel the urge to have kids of her own. On occasion, she wondered if she ever would.

‘So what about you?’ Ellen said. ‘Met anyone yet?’

‘Forget it,’ Hayley said. ‘I’m too busy. Work’s nuts. Ronald gave me this contract to work on, a client in London’s buying a French company. It’s flipping complicated.’

‘You’re working long hours though, aren’t you?’ Ellen said.

‘Yeah, but I don’t care. I love it.’

‘You sure you’re okay? You look a bit tired.’

‘I am.’ Hayley laughed. ‘But don’t worry about me. Anyway, my bank account’s very grateful.’

Ellen sighed. ‘Lucky you. Mark and me were a bit strapped for cash this month but we managed in the end. And we have each other, that’s all that matters.’

Hayley didn’t say it, but she disagreed. She didn’t want to scrimp and save and ‘manage’ for the rest of her life.

‘Let me know if you ever need help, okay?’

‘God no,’ Ellen said, looking shocked. ‘Thanks, but I could never.’

On the weekend Hayley decided to go shopping for a present for her unborn nephew. Unsure what to buy, she walked around Mothercare picking up a stuffed toy here and a rattle there, before putting them down again. She was inspecting a bright yellow baby grow when she noticed a guy a few feet away from her. His skin looked like a smooth, silky latte from the Seattle Coffee Company and his dark hair coiled in tight curls. He held up a curious-looking plastic cup and turned it around, examining it from all angles, his brow deeply furrowed.

‘I think that’s part of a breast pump,’ she ventured, nodding her head towards the object in his hand.

‘Oh crap.’ He almost dropped it. ‘Whoops. I thought it was a baby cup or something but I couldn’t figure out how it would work.’ He put it on the shelf and turned towards her with a desperate look on his face. Hayley noticed his almond eyes were a beautiful shade of peridot.

‘Actually, maybe you can help me?’ he said. ‘My friends had a baby last week and I haven’t a clue what to get. Care to share your motherly wisdom?’

Hayley burst into a laugh and shook her head. ‘Me? I’m not a mum.’

‘Oh?’

‘I’m shopping for my nephew. My sister’s due in March but I need to get a head start. Last time I grabbed clothes for a nine-month old instead of a new-born.’ She grimaced. ‘If I do that again I’ll never live it down.’

Breast-pump guy laughed and Hayley admired the little dimples that appeared in his cheeks.

‘So it’s like the blind leading the blind, eh?’ he said. ‘Let’s help each other out and escape as quickly as possible, what do you think?’

Hayley smiled. ‘That sounds great. I’m Hayley, by the way.’

‘Matthew.’ They shook hands. ‘Right, where shall we start?’

They spent the next few minutes looking for suitable presents, picking up bibs and hats, bath toys and bottles.

An eager looking shop assistant bounded over. ‘Can I help you?’ she said, her broad smile revealing a large gap between her front teeth. ‘Is this your first baby?’

Matthew nudged Hayley. ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘We just found out she’s pregnant.’

The assistant clapped her hands together. ‘How wonderful. When are you due?’

‘Next week,’ Hayley said solemnly. ‘It’s all been a bit of a shock.’

‘Next week? Goodness, that doesn’t leave you much time to …’ She stopped talking as Matthew and Hayley started laughing. ‘Oh you had me there for a second,’ she said with mock sternness and waved a finger at them. ‘So you’re here for presents. We have some excellent gift-sets over there. Follow me.’

‘She asked if I’m pregnant,’ Hayley whispered as the shop assistant left them alone to look through the selections. ‘I’m going on a diet. And I’m joining a gym. Today.’

‘What do you mean?’ Matthew whispered back. ‘You look great.’ He winked.

Hayley felt her cheeks go as red as a traffic light and took a sudden interest in a pack of towels, letting her hair fall in front of her face.

They both decided on a plastic chewable giraffe and Matthew chose a red and green outfit that said ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ on the front. Hayley found a blue and red velvet cot bumper with big smiling teddy bears.

As they walked out of the shop Matthew stopped and turned towards her. ‘This might be a bit forward, although we
were
shopping for our first child, so it should be okay.’

Hayley looked at him and raised her eyebrows. ‘What?’

‘Well, would you like to have coffee with me? You know,’ he shrugged, ‘to get over the trauma.’

She had no other plans for that afternoon so what harm could it do? It was only a coffee and he seemed nice. Actually, he seemed
very
nice.

‘Sure,’ she answered, nodding. ‘Why not?’

An hour and a half later, after two cups of coffee and a sticky cinnamon bun each, Matthew and Hayley exchanged phone numbers.

‘I’m looking forward to seeing you again,’ he said as he kissed her lightly on the cheek. ‘I’ll call you soon.’

On her way home Hayley stopped in to see Ellen and Mark and she told them about her encounter.

‘So what’s he like then?’ asked Mark as he folded up his paper at the kitchen table.

‘Well, he’s almost thirty, a bit taller than me and he kind of reminds me of Terence Trent D’Arby. And he’s fit.’

‘Now there’s a surprise.’ Mark rolled his eyes. ‘All your blokes have been fit.’

Hayley gave him a playful punch. ‘What do you mean,
all
my blokes? And I mean fit as in sporty. He used to do athletics, you know, hurdles and long-jump and stuff, until he buggered up his knee. If that hadn’t happened he may have competed for England. Now he does a lot of rowing and swimming instead.’

‘Sounds promising,’ Ellen said. ‘Hang on a sec, I’ll get some biscuits.’ She turned to Mark. ‘Do you like the tea? It’s red raspberry leaf. Helps boost fertility.’

‘Mmmm,’ Mark said, nodding enthusiastically. ‘It’s delicious, my love.’

Ellen smiled at him and went to the kitchen.

‘Oh my god,’ Mark whispered to Hayley. ‘Don’t let her convert you. Promise me you’ll stay a devout follower of the Church of English Breakfast.’

Hayley stifled a laugh as Ellen returned with a plate of chocolate digestives.

‘So, what does Matthew do for a living?’ Ellen said as she sat down again.

‘Well if you must know,
Mummy
,’ Hayley said, ‘he teaches science at secondary school.’ She thought for a second. ‘Actually, he’s a really nice guy.’

‘How nice?’ Ellen said with her eyebrows raised.

Hayley clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes. Ellen often tried to set her up on blind dates and was always looking out for The One for Hayley. One time Hayley had obliged and gone on a date but it had been such a let-down that she’d refused to go on another. The guy in question had warts on his hands and halitosis, and she hadn’t let Ellen forget it.

‘Single?’ Mark said, crossing his arms.

‘Yeah,’ Hayley said. ‘Found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. Said he can’t understand why people do it, what with the amount of heartache it causes.’

‘He sounds too good to be true,’ Ellen said. ‘You sure he’s genuine?’

‘Believe me, if he isn’t I’ll leg it faster than Donovan Bailey.’

‘I can come with you if you see him again,’ Mark said. ‘Check him out for bad vibes only other blokes can detect.’ He put his index fingers next to his temples, mimicking antennae.

Hayley laughed. ‘Well if he calls me, I’ll let you know. But don’t hold your breath.’

Hayley dreamt that she was falling, not at breakneck speed, but gently gliding through the air, almost birdlike, smooth and graceful. She stretched her arms out, enjoying the pleasant feeling. But then her brain registered the noise. A lot of noise. Too much for a dream. She opened her eyes.

‘AAAAAAAAAA‌AARRRRRGGGHHH!’ The sound barely left her throat. She
was
falling, racing towards the ground beneath her, faster and faster. Strands of her hair blew around in the wind and in front of her eyes. Instinctively she held her out her hands, trying to slow herself down. The wind rushed past her, drowning every other sound out entirely.

I’m going to die! I’m going to die!

Just as she thought she would either wet herself, pass out or croak, a gloved hand tapped her shoulder and, seconds later, they slowed down. Hayley whipped her head around from side to side and saw strings. Her gaze followed them upwards to a bright red-and-blue striped parachute billowing above her head.

‘I thought I’d lost you for a minute there,’ a voice shouted from behind her. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Am I okay? Am I
okay
?’ Hayley shouted, waving her arms around, barely registering that they were covered in what looked like a blue boiler suit. ‘What the … where the … gaaaaah!’

‘Relax, take it easy. The first jump is always the scariest but enjoy the ride and remember to lift up your legs when we land. Look around you, it’s a beautiful day.’

Hayley breathed heavily as her stomach twisted itself into knots. As she touched her face she felt goggles in front of her eyes. She exhaled slowly, letting the air escape through her puffed out cheeks. However hard she tried, it was impossible for her to see the person behind her – she’d have to morph into an owl to turn her head that far. But one thing was certain. It wasn’t Matthew. It was a woman.

Hayley looked around at the fields that stretched for miles and miles. Peering between her feet, she spotted two white buildings with six small planes in front of them, and realised where they were headed. As the ground approached, Hayley squealed and closed her eyes.

‘Lift up your legs,’ the woman shouted.

They landed seconds later and the woman behind her undid the harness attaching them together. Grateful to be free and back on the ground, Hayley rolled onto her stomach, arms and legs outstretched like an upside-down snow angel, her goggles askew on her face. She buried her nose in the damp grass, breathing in the scent of freshly cut blades, almost giggling as they tickled her nose.

‘You did it, you actually did it!’

The familiar male voice registered somewhere in Hayley’s mushy brain.

‘Woohoo, what a ride,’ he said. ‘What did you think? Did you like it? I told you Neha’s a great instructor. The best.’

Hayley rolled onto her back, held her hand up to block out the sun and stared up at the man bending over her, grinning madly. He pulled off his hat and goggles.

Matthew!

A woman with deep brown eyes and pixie-cropped black hair knelt beside her. ‘I think you passed out for a few seconds after we jumped. Are you feeling alright?’

Hayley gulped. ‘I … I think so. Where am I? What day is it?’

Matthew frowned. ‘Ipsden. Saturday. Here, let me help you up. We’ll get you some water or maybe a coffee at the hangar.’

As Matthew helped her get to her feet, panic exploding in Hayley’s mind like a box of Catherine wheels on New Year’s Eve. She realised she couldn’t make a run for it even if she wanted to – the hangar was in the middle of nowhere. Besides, sticking with Ian yesterday, at least for the first little while, had been beneficial. She’d moved on, got away from him. That meant she was one step closer to getting home. Didn’t it?

There’s no sense sprinting off like Road Runner.

Hayley took a deep breath, realising she was actually curious to find out more. The parachute jump had scared the shit out of her but, in reality, she hadn’t had a rush of adrenaline like that since … since … She gave up and then leaned on Matthew as they walked to the hanger. He helped her out of her gear and sat her down at a large table, then disappeared into a room. Hayley looked around and noticed the big, black and white clock hanging on the wall. It showed a few minutes after nine.

He said it’s Saturday. Dear god, it’s like Groundhog Day meets Sliding Doors!

Matthew came back carrying two steaming coffees and Hayley’s eyes followed his every move. His hair had become quite grey at the temples and his loose T-shirt indicated a trim midriff. His arms were thick and deliciously toned, and his back still looked as broad. Hayley had often thought his upper body resembled a sexy upside-down piece of Toblerone, minus the nougat bits. She swallowed hard.

‘Here,’ he said, handing her a mug. It had a picture of a skydiver and ‘If at first you don’t succeed – skydiving’s not for you’ written underneath. ‘Better? Still confused?’

She thought for a second. ‘No. Not as confused anyway.’

He smiled. ‘Put your feet up and we’ll leave when you’re ready. We’ll be home by lunchtime.’ He leaned over and nuzzled her neck, his coffee-breath warming her. ‘I’m so glad I finally convinced you to jump. It only took me seven years!’

Hayley’s voice went AWOL and without thinking she closed her eyes and leaned in towards Matthew, giving him full access to her neck.

‘Wotcha!’

Hayley jumped and opened her eyes. ‘Mark!’ She leapt up and gave him a hug.

He hoisted a backpack over his shoulders when she let go. Behind him the hangar was slowly filling up with other people kitted out in jumpsuits, looking at Neha with worried smiles. Neha gave Hayley the thumbs up with an inquisitive look. Hayley returned the gesture and nodded.

‘That was fantastic!’ Mark said, nudging Hayley’s shoulder. ‘Eh? What a day to jump.’ He flopped down on the chair next to them and Hayley sat too. ‘You ready to go?’ Mark asked.

‘Sure.’ Matthew got up and patted Hayley’s knee. ‘I’ll fetch our stuff,’

‘It’s good to see you,’ Hayley said to Mark.

Mark laughed. ‘See? I said you wouldn’t die.’

She grinned. ‘Is Ellen here too?’

Mark frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Couldn’t you get a babysitter?’

‘What?’

Shit. They don’t have Morgan?

‘Oh. Or someone to look after the dog?’

‘Eh? When did Ellen get a dog?’

Hayley stopped talking.

‘Everything okay?’ Mark asked, leaning forward. ‘You alright?’

‘I thought I was.’ Scratching her forehead she added, almost under her breath, ‘I
am
married to Matthew, right?’

Mark raised his eyebrows. ‘Eh? Well as good as.’

Before she could ask him what he meant, Matthew reappeared carrying a holdall bag. ‘Ready guys? Meet you out front?’

‘Just a sec,’ Mark said.

He walked over to Neha and slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him. Hayley’s mouth dropped open as she watched them kiss. Mark tucked a stray strand of hair behind Neha’s ear. A small and insignificant gesture, but undeniably intimate. Mark said something to Neha, who put her head back and laughed. They kissed again before Mark walked back to Matthew and Hayley.

‘See you later, love,’ Matthew called over to Neha.

She blew him a kiss and waved to them. ‘Bye guys. Thanks for letting me jump with you, Hayley.’

‘Wh-what the hell was that?’ Hayley stuttered at Mark as they left the hangar.

‘What?’

‘You and … and … that
girl
?’

‘What’s up with you? It’s been three years.’

‘But … but … what about Ellen?’ Hayley said, her voice shriller than she wanted it to be.

Mark shrugged. ‘What about her?’

‘Is she okay?’

‘Dunno. Don’t care. Ask her when you see her next.’ He pulled his backpack up and strode ahead of her, clearly indicating the end of the conversation.

Out in the car park, Matthew opened the door on a blue Toyota.

‘I’ll sit in the back,’ Hayley offered as she climbed into the seat. ‘That way you boys can talk.’

She didn’t learn much on the way home. Mark and Matthew gassed about the footie and upcoming matches, work and skydiving – but nothing overly personal. Hayley stared out of the window and watched the scenery go by. They’d got onto the M40, driven past High Wycombe and made it all the way to Uxbridge before she made a sound.

‘Where are we going?’ she said.

‘I’ll get petrol and we’ll drop Mark off at Boston Manor, right mate?’

‘Yep, that’s fine.’

Boston Manor? The tube station close to where Matthew lived?

Long forgotten images of the place burst into her mind. He’d had an open-concept apartment with a distinct but not unpleasant industrial feel with its floor-to-ceiling windows and exposed brickwork. Over dinner one night Matthew had said, ‘When my grandma died she left me a bit of money so I bought the apartment. It needed tons of work so it was cheap. I planned on selling it once it was finished but I love it, even if it’s a bit flashy for a maths teacher.’

They pulled into a BP station and Matthew got out to fill up the car.

Hayley cleared her throat. ‘Mark, about you and Ellen –’

‘Please don’t,’ Mark said. ‘I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Everything’s been said already.’

‘But Mark, I –’

‘I said leave it.’

They fell silent until Matthew got back in the car and, after dropping Mark off at the tube station, Matthew drove back to his apartment. As they walked up the stairs to the flat, Matthew held her hand and she couldn’t help noticing the softness of his skin. She shooed the memories of him on top of her out of her mind.

He unlocked the door and opened it for her, then followed and put the holdall down. When he took off his shirt Hayley gulped as she assessed his flat stomach. She wanted to reach out and touch the hair that formed a thin line down his chest and disappeared into his jeans.

It’s just a glimpse … Would it count if we …? None of this is real … No, stop it!

‘I’m going to have a quick shower,’ he said, looking at Hayley as he pulled off his jeans and boxer shorts. ‘Why have you gone all red?’ He laughed. ‘Nothing here you haven’t seen before.’ He walked to the bathroom leaving Hayley to stare at his perfectly round, chocolate
derrière
.

She tried to snap out of fantasyland by looking around for a phone. Once located, she grabbed it and punched in Ellen’s mobile.

‘Hey,’ Ellen answered lazily. ‘How was your jump?’

‘Surprising,’ said Hayley. ‘Where are you?’

‘I’m taking Mum to her watercolour class. So, was
she
there?’

‘Who?’

‘Neha, dummy. Was she there?’

‘Yes.’

‘Those two still loved up then? No, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know but –’

‘Ellen,’ Hayley said. ‘What on earth happened to you two?’