Time After Time (24 page)

Hayley stuck with her decision and didn’t tell Sean about the miscarriage. Days turned into weeks and he didn’t write or call, not that Hayley really expected him to – why would he?

‘As far as we know he’s still in London,’ Ellen said during one of their hour-long phone calls that were putting a grizzly bear-sized dent in Hayley’s budget. ‘But he stopped playing squash with Mark and we haven’t seen him at Mulligan’s. It’s like he dropped off the face of the earth.’ She lowered her voice. ‘Mark’s still pissed off with you for what happened, but he’ll get over it. So how are you? And I mean really, no bullshit.’

‘I’m okay, Ellen, honest,’ Hayley said, plastering on a smile as fake as a three pound coin, and equally clumsy. ‘I’m fine.’ She didn’t want to talk about the sadness that crept up her spine and lingered whenever she was alone.

‘I’m not sure I believe you, hon,’ Ellen said quietly. ‘Physically, maybe, but mentally?’

Hayley sighed. ‘I miss him. Maybe I … I … should have told him about the baby. We might be together, you know?’

‘I know, sweetheart. You still could.’

‘No,’ Hayley answered with renewed determination in her voice. ‘He’s been crystal clear about what he wants. It’s time to move on.’

‘I get it,’ Ellen said. ‘Okay, so … tell me about your weekend.’

Hayley smiled as she remembered. ‘Fiona took me to the Chicago Jazz Festival at Grant Park. It was the twentieth one, apparently, and bloody brilliant.’

‘Sounds exotic,’ Ellen said. ‘Who did you see?’

‘Andy Bey and Geraldine De Haas, and that was only Saturday. On Sunday we saw Lou Donaldson.’

Ellen laughed. ‘Never heard of ‘em, but it sounds brilliant. I’m so glad Mark put you in touch.’

‘Me too.’ Hayley sank back into her pillow and cradled the phone with her shoulder. ‘She wants to show me Navy Pier and more of the lakefront tomorrow. Friday I’m going to The Red Lion with some of my colleagues. It’s an English pub. Hurrah!’

‘Well done, old bean,’ said Ellen with a laugh. ‘I’m glad you’re going out again. Listen, I’d better go, it’s almost midnight.’

‘Yeah, this six-hour time difference is rubbish.’ Hayley looked around her unfamiliar flat, wishing she was back in her little, comfortable Hammersmith nest. ‘I miss you.’

‘I miss you too.’

*

As the months passed, Hayley discovered that she loved living in Chicago. The city, smaller and more manageable than London, seemed easy to explore. The lack of old stuff surprised her the most – anything over a century was considered ancient. Even Givins’ Irish Castle, Chicago’s
only
castle, was tiny but at least it was over a hundred years old.

She lived in a small flat in Wicker Park, close to the subway and a twenty-five minute commute to the office. Her apartment only had a bedroom and a den, but she didn’t need much space. It came fully furnished, so Hayley had added a couple of photographs of her parents, Jackie, Ray and the kids, and Ellen and Mark. It seemed futile to buy stuff she wouldn’t take back home to England.

On her way to the office one morning she stopped at the local Dunkin’ Donuts which, much to her waistline’s chagrin, had the most
awesome
treats. Her favourite was the Double Chocolate Cake donut (why have single when you can have twice the chocolatey goodness?) and she bought some for the office along with a medium coffee. She’d come to learn that size mattered in America, and Hayley was still getting used to cups and helpings fit for giants.

‘Hi, Philip,’ she waved to her boss as she pushed open the heavy glass office doors. ‘Fancy a donut?’

He touched his stomach and wagged his finger. ‘No Ma’am, not if I’m doing Iron Man next month.’

Hayley grinned. He reminded her of Matthew; fit and sporty. Not bad looking either.

Down, girl!

‘Did you look through the contracts last night?’ she asked. ‘I left them on your desk like you said.’

‘They were perfect, thanks. Although we need to look at a couple of points in more detail. Over coffee? Well, green tea for me, anyway.’ He hesitated. ‘Or dinner?’

‘Coffee,’ Hayley said and grinned again. ‘Coffee’s fine.’

‘Ah, can’t blame a man for trying,’ Philip said. ‘I’ll catch you later.’

Hayley went to her desk and rang Fiona.

‘Paintballing Saturday, you’re coming, yeah?’ Fiona shouted into the phone. ‘Sorry, we’re doing a sound-check before we all sod off to our day jobs and … hang on … Shut the fuck up you noisy fucking lot,’ she shouted, ‘I’m on the fucking phone.’

‘Definitely,’ Hayley said, thinking that Fiona wasn’t the lead singer of Brazen Maiden by accident. ‘Can’t wait. I’ll see you then.’

‘You can help me shoot this fucking useless lot,’ Fiona said, then she laughed and hung up.

*

Hayley made the trip back to London for the holidays, grateful she didn’t have to spend her first Christmas away from her family. She couldn’t stay at her flat because she’d sublet it, so she camped out in her old bedroom at her parents’ house instead.

‘Tell me about Chicago,’ Stan said as they settled down with cups of tea on her first night back. ‘I hope we can come next summer. I’m really looking forward to seeing it. What’s it like?’

‘It’s fun,’ Hayley said. ‘I went to the planetarium last month. Brilliant.’

‘It wasn’t in that seedy place you told us about?’ Karen said, looking up from the table where she sat writing her latest set of dirty birthday cards. Hayley still couldn’t believe how filthy her mother’s sense of humour could be. ‘What did you say it was called, the blip, bloop?’

‘Loop.’ Hayley laughed. ‘Nu-uh. Don’t worry. I’ve got that bit figured out, I know my way around now. Good job too, you don’t want to get lost outside in the winter, that’s for sure.’

‘Is it really that cold, love?’ Stan said.

‘Pah! I tell you what,’ Hayley said, ‘I reckon they’re all half bear. It was freezing at the Christmas tree lighting a few weeks ago but some of them were in bloody T-shirts.’

‘Language, young lady,’ Karen said.

Hayley snorted. ‘Really, Mum?’ She walked over and looked down at the card in front of her mother. ‘You’re writing the caption for a saggy pair of boobs stuck in a birthday cake.’

The next day Hayley stayed with Ellen and Mark. They got a Chinese takeaway and sat on the sofas, stuffing their faces with
dim sum
and
chow mein
.

‘God it’s good to see you,’ Ellen said, and squeezed Hayley so hard, she almost cut off her air supply. ‘I’ve missed you so much. I wish I could come and stay, but, well …’

‘Don’t worry about it,’ Hayley said. ‘I know the IVF is expensive.’

‘We may not have to pay for it,’ Ellen said. ‘Our next NHS round starts in a few months.’ She tousled Mark’s hair. ‘Right, babe?’

‘Can’t wait,’ Mark said and rolled his eyes. ‘I’ll be living with Doctor Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde again.’

Ellen slapped him on the shoulder.

‘Is it really that bad?’ Hayley asked as she rumpled her nose. She’d heard the mood swing stories but wasn’t sure whether to believe them.

‘Worse,’ Ellen said. ‘One minute I’m biting his head off, the next I want to kiss his feet. But it’ll be worth it. We’ll get there in the end, I know we will.’ She put her arms around Mark and he kissed the top of her head.

‘So what about that guy you met when you went paintballing with Fiona? What was his name again? Bonnie …’ Ellen snapped her fingers.

‘Tyler.’ Hayley laughed. ‘His name was Tyler.’

‘That’s it,’ Ellen said.

‘A very enjoyable one night stand.’ Hayley waved a hand. ‘Not worth talking about.’

‘Didn’t you want to see him again?’ Ellen said, apparently unable to let it go.

Hayley shook her head. ‘Nah. He phoned a few times but I put him off.’

Mark grinned. ‘You ended up on his too complicated to bother with list.’

‘Complicated?’ Hayley asked. ‘Who, me?’ Ellen stifled a laugh.

Later in the evening, when Hayley and Ellen were cleaning up in the kitchen, Hayley heard Mark playing his guitar.

Ellen looked at her. ‘He keeps saying it’s fine if we can’t have kids, but he’s lying.’

‘You don’t know that,’ Hayley said as she dried a plate.

‘Listen to what he’s singing.’

It took Hayley a second to realise he was humming ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ so softly, it made her heart ache too.

*

Before Hayley knew it, another year had passed and she’d returned to London for the holidays, this time for the millennium celebrations.

‘Shit, I’m homesick,’ she said to Ellen as they stood by the Thames and watched the fireworks light up the sky. After eighteen months in Chicago, she’d had enough of baseball and donuts. Well, maybe not the double chocolate ones.

‘Do you think you’ll be coming back soon?’

‘I hope so. The team is up and running. Ronald’s coming over in February. He said he wants to talk about things.’

Ellen hugged her. ‘Oh, that sounds promising. I can’t wait for you to come home.’

‘Me neither.’

Another batch of fireworks went off with a bang, the smell of sulphur filling the air and mixing with the hopes and dreams a new millennium promised.

On the flight back to Chicago she decided she’d better get out and do all the touristy stuff she hadn’t had the time for, and asked Fiona for help. A week later they made a list while scoffing a plate of bangers and mash at The Red Lion.

‘Museums?’ Fiona said before wiping her chin with a napkin. ‘Fancy any of those?’

‘Well, I’ve been to the Field Museum but I haven’t made it to the aquarium yet.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Nope. Or the art one.’

Fiona scribbled them both down. ‘Check. Been up the Sears Tower yet?’

‘Nope again. Told you, I’ve done bugger all.’

‘You’re all work and no play, you are.’ She wrote ‘Sears Tower is a must!’ on the list. ‘You should go to the history museum too, it’s well worth it.’

‘You’ve been?’ Hayley couldn’t imagine Fiona being interested in history. It didn’t suit her piercings and skull tattoos somehow.

‘Yeah, a couple of times.’ She shrugged. ‘I majored in history and I miss old stuff. Anyway, we’re playing in Kenosha in a few weeks. It’s a bit cold this time of year but the city and the beach are still worth the trip.’ She waved her fork at Hayley. ‘You could go to Woodstock.’

‘Woodstock? What, where they had the concert?’

‘No, silly. That’s hours away. I mean Woodstock where they filmed
Groundhog Day
. You know, with Bill Murray.’

‘I loved that film,’ Hayley said. ‘Imagine reliving the same day over and over until it’s perfect.’

Fiona grinned. ‘I know, especially if you’re with some fit bloke.’ She wrote ‘Woodstock’ on the list. ‘And what about Indiana Dunes?’

Hayley frowned. ‘Indiana Jones? As in Harrison Ford?’

‘Fucking hell.’ Fiona laughed. ‘You really don’t get out much. Indiana
Dunes
. About an hour east. It’s a park with huge sand dunes, loads of hiking. Really pretty. I’ll go with you if you like. It’s fucking gorgeous.’

‘Sure,’ Hayley laughed, then shook her head as she looked at Fiona. ‘History and hiking. You really are full of surprises.’

Fiona took a swig of her beer and grinned. ‘I’m an onion, me. Full of fucking layers.’

*

When Ronald flew to Chicago for his quarterly meeting with the branch’s management team, he took Hayley out for sushi.

‘We miss you,’ he said and smiled as he picked up another edamame pod. ‘Tony asks me every week when I’m bringing the best solicitor back to London.’

Hayley smiled. ‘I miss you all and London too, very much. Don’t get me wrong, living and working here has been great, but …’

Ronald set down his fork. ‘Then perhaps it’s time for you to come home?’

‘Really?’ She grinned.

He nodded. ‘The look on your face tells me you’re ready.’

Hayley laughed. ‘Is it that obvious?’

Ronald smiled and continued. ‘The team here is thriving, more than thanks to you. So, unless you have the specific desire to stay here for personal reasons, maybe?’ Hayley shook her head and he continued, ‘Then we would be ecstatic if you would move back to London. I’ll speak to Philip later today.’

She wanted to kiss him. ‘What time-frame were you thinking of?’

‘Three months or so? Would that work?’

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘That would be fantastic.’

Hayley spent the rest of the afternoon with a gigantic smile plastered on her face as she phoned her parents and then Ellen with the news. She was going home.

On one of her last weekends in Chicago, five months after celebrating the Millennium, Hayley and Fiona had finally decided to make the hour-long drive to Indiana Dunes. It was one of the last things on the to-do list.

Hayley had been up for a couple of hours already when the phone rang.

‘I think I’ve got the fucking flu,’ Fiona said in a raspy voice. ‘Sorry Hayley, but forget about me coming with you today or Neo tonight. You know what that club’s like, it’ll do my head in.’

‘Oh no,’ Hayley said, putting down her mascara. ‘You concentrate on getting better. I can go to the beach on my own and actually, a quiet night in might do me some good.’

‘Make sure you park at Porter Beach, okay? You can walk from there.’

‘Porter Beach, check.’

‘Come and pick up the car whenever you’re ready, okay?’ She started to cough. ‘I won’t need it.’ Cough, cough. ‘I’m planning on dying in my fucking bed today.’

An hour later Hayley drove along Interstate 90 humming to her favourite Robbie Williams album,
I’ve Been Expecting You
. The traffic was light and the sun shone, making Lake Michigan sparkle – a perfect day for a road trip. If Fiona had been with her it would have felt like
Thelma and Louise
– but without the guns and the dying at the end. She smiled.

I’m going home in three weeks. Three weeks!

When she arrived at Porter Beach shortly before midday, she parked Fiona’s old, beaten up but faithful Mustang and pulled her rucksack off the back seat. She planned to eat her cheese and tomato sandwiches on the beach while enjoying the adventures of Jack and Amy in
Come Together
, the funniest book she’d read in a long time. Her suppressed fits of giggles had earned her the bemused and curious stares of fellow commuters more than once that week alone.

Hayley walked along the beach, her shoes scrunching on the sand as she went. The weather had been unusually warm that week, and the beach was already busy with people making sandcastles, playing badminton and chasing footballs. Some brave souls had even ventured into the sapphire-blue lake, which seemed rather keen to Hayley.

Twenty minutes into her stroll, Hayley’s stomach rumbled loudly. She pulled a towel out of her bag, spread it on the sand and flopped down. She sighed deeply as she ate her sandwich and stuck her nose into her book, thinking that it was the perfect day to –

‘Watch out!’

The warning came too late.

Clunk
. Something hard and fluorescent orange smacked her right in the middle of the forehead.

‘Ouch!’ Hayley’s hand shot up to her face as she looked at the offending object – a Frisbee – that had bounced off her skull and skidded into the sand a few feet away.

‘Oh geez.’ The guy who had attempted to warn her now stood at her feet. ‘I’m sorry! Are you okay? Let me take a look.’ He knelt down.

Hayley looked at him, taking in his Hard Rock Café Calgary T-shirt, designer stubble and bright blue eyes.

‘No blood,’ he said and smiled. ‘Good. So sorry again.’ He picked up the Frisbee and chucked it back to a group of people who waved and resumed the game. ‘But you’re okay?’

‘I’m fine,’ Hayley mumbled.

‘You’re sure?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good book?’ He gestured to the novel in her hand.

‘Very. One of my favourites.’

‘You here alone?’ He pulled a face. ‘Whoops. None of my business.’

‘That’s right.’

He raised an eyebrow and Hayley laughed, then said, ‘I mean, that’s right, I’m here alone. I was supposed to come with a friend, but she’s ill.’

‘Sorry to hear that.’

‘Thanks.’ She looked at him. ‘I’m glad I came anyway. It’s stunning.’

He turned to look at the water. ‘Isn’t it? Can you believe it’s a lake, not the ocean? I’ve only just discovered the place.’ He smiled at her. ‘You’re from England, right?’

‘Yes, London. I’ve been working in Chicago for almost two years. You’re not from here either?’

‘No.’ He shook his head and pointed to his T-shirt. ‘Born and raised in Calgary. Moved to Chicago last year. I’ve only just started exploring for real. I made a list of things to do.’ He dug around in his back pocket and held out a piece of paper. ‘Like a real tourist. Wanna see?’

As Hayley started reading the note she chuckled.

‘It’s that bad?’

‘No, no,’ Hayley said. ‘I’ve got one that’s almost the same.’

He smiled again. ‘I’m Rick, by the way.’ He held out his hand.

‘Hayley.’ She shook it and smiled back.

‘So …’ Rick said and scratched his head. ‘I’m here with some people from work. Those crazy Frisbee dudes.’ He pointed behind him. ‘Do you … do you want to join us? To be honest,’ he whispered, ‘I need backup.’

Hayley blinked. For all she knew he and his friends could be crazy axe murderers.

Yeah, and he’s a very handsome crazy axe murderer.

He stood a bit taller than her, slim and broad-shouldered. His hair, which looked as if it had been very dark at one time, was quite grey on the sides, but Hayley thought it made him look distinguished rather than older. She guessed they were around the same age, give or take a year.

‘It’s okay if you don’t want to,’ he said quickly. ‘It’s just an idea.’

Something about him made her feel safe, and the tingling she felt in her stomach felt right.

‘Okay,’ she answered with a grin. ‘That sounds like fun.’

Rick quickly introduced Hayley to his friends, three guys, three girls, and Hayley tried to remember their names. Jagdish, Marjorie, Laetitia and … she found it impossible to remember the rest. They played Frisbee and soccer until Hayley’s lungs hurt so much she begged for mercy.

‘You said you’ve lived in Chicago for a year. What do you think?’ Hayley asked Rick as they sat on her towel, breathing in the fresh air and watching the waves on the lake.

‘I like it,’ Rick answered. ‘It’s been fun.’

‘Do you have family here?’

He shook his head. ‘No. My mom, dad and brother are all still out West. They run a cattle ranch.’

‘That sounds amazing. Are you the youngest?’

‘Oldest by twelve years. Josh is eighteen. Apparently he was a bit of a surprise.’ He laughed. ‘So you’re here alone? No hot boyfriend or husband?’ He looked at her.

Hayley felt a blush rising and shook her head. ‘No. I’ve been, uh, too busy. What about you?’

He wrinkled up his nose. ‘Split up with my girlfriend before I came here.’

‘She didn’t want to come with you?’

‘The opposite, really,’ Rick said. ‘Things weren’t terrible but there was something … missing. You know?’

She thought about Matthew and said, ‘Yes, I do know.’

Marjorie ran over to them both. Hayley couldn’t help but notice her long blonde hair, full lips, and legs that went up to her armpits. She’d taken off her shirt and the tiny red bikini top struggled to contain her ample breasts. Her running across the sand looked like a scene from
Baywatch
.

‘Hey,’ she said to Rick, bending over to reveal even more cleavage. ‘Want to play another game?’

Rick smiled and shook his head. ‘No, we’re good thanks, just taking a break.’

‘Oh,’ Marjorie looked at him with a slight pout. ‘Okay then.’ She turned and walked back to the others, her shoulders slightly hunched.

‘Go if you like,’ Hayley said, preparing for him to jump off and dash after the perfect American Girl.

Rick looked at her. ‘I don’t like. I’m perfectly happy right here. With you.’

Hayley smiled and stopped herself from punching the air with her fist. Instead she tilted her head up towards the sun, letting it warm her face.

‘So what do you do in Chicago then?’ she said, trying to play it cool. ‘You said you work in I.T.?’

‘Yep. For Chase Bank. Worked for the Royal Bank in Calgary but there was an opportunity for me here I couldn’t turn down.’

‘Do you get homesick?’

‘Sometimes. You?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I miss my folks and my brother most,’ Rick said. ‘But it was a good career move.’

‘Is
it
your calling then? Get it? I.T.?’ Hayley groaned at herself.

‘Uhhh! It’s okay, I guess.
It’s
what I do. Stop, we could go on for days. Anyway, eventually I’d like to open my own web-design company.’ He lay back in the sand with his arms crossed behind his head. Hayley followed suit, surprised at how intimate and yet comfortable it felt. Their elbows touched but neither of them moved away.

‘So how about you?’ he asked, his eyes closed. ‘Don’t tell me – you’re a stand-up comedian as well as a solicitor?’ He turned towards her. ‘That’s a lawyer, right?’

Hayley smiled. ‘Yes, right. And there’s no stand-up, don’t worry. My boss in London transferred me here to help build up the office. But I’m going back at the end of the month.’

‘To London?’ He held up a hand to block out the sun and squinted at her.

‘Uh-huh.’

‘For good?’

‘Yes.’ Nothing but the truth. She’d learned her lesson.

‘End of the month, huh?’ He sat up. ‘Well … then I guess we’d better make these next few weeks memorable ones.’

*

‘Hi, gorgeous,’ Rick said when he called her the next morning. ‘Want to spend the day with me?’

Hayley grinned. She couldn’t wait to see him again. As they’d walked back to their cars at Porter Beach the evening before, his friends – even Marjorie – discreetly stayed back to give them some space. Rick and Hayley exchanged phone numbers.

‘Thank you for a perfect day,’ he’d said and then kissed her, ever so softly, on the lips.

As Hayley drove back to Chicago, her mouth had tingled and she’d let her mind wander.

He’s amazing. And Hayley Cooper sounds nice … Stop it. You’re being ridiculous.

‘Hayley?’ Rick’s voice pulled her back to reality.

‘Spend the day with you?’ Hayley said into the phone. ‘Absolutely. Where to, Captain?’

Rick laughed. ‘Captain? Okay. Well, how about going on the Hop On-Hop Off bus around the city? What do you think?’

‘Brilliant idea,’ she said. ‘Where shall we start?’

‘Navy Pier. I’ll get the tickets. Meet you there in an hour.’

The bus took them all around the city and Rick grabbed her hand as they got off again at the lakefront. ‘Let’s go on a boat,’ he said. ‘There aren’t any lakes this size in Calgary.’

They had dinner at the Hard Rock Café where Rick bought another T-shirt.

‘To add to my collection,’ he said.

Afterwards, Hayley invited him back to her flat.

‘Are you sure?’ Rick said when they were in front of her door.

She kissed him softly. ‘I’m leaving soon. I don’t want to wait.’

Inside, they lay on her bed and he slowly unbuttoned her blouse. ‘You’re beautiful,’ he whispered and pulled her close for a kiss. ‘I couldn’t take my eyes off you when I first saw you on the beach yesterday. I still can’t.’

She shivered deliciously as he unhooked her bra, then she reached for the switch to turn her bedside table lamp back on. ‘You don’t have to.’

‘You’re killing me,’ he said and kissed her again, more deeply and urgently this time.

As his mouth made its way down her stomach, she closed her eyes, immersed in the pleasurable sensation between her legs. It didn’t take her long to climax hard and in multiple waves. When he slid inside her, she gasped and pulled him towards her, thinking that she never wanted to let him go.

*

Hayley tried really,
really
hard not to fall in love with him. She kept telling herself that nothing could ever come from it, that it was doomed, that long-distance relationships always fail. But she couldn’t help it. There was the passion she’d had for Chris, the infatuation she’d felt for Ian, the companionship she’d had with Matthew and the endless conversations she’d enjoyed with Sean – all combined and rolled into one perfect person – Rick.

They spent evenings at The Red Lion with Fiona – who told Hayley that Rick was ‘fucking brilliant’ – or walked through the city, discovering the different neighbourhoods. During their final weekends they went to the aquarium, which Rick hadn’t yet been to, and Lincoln Park Zoo.

The last three weeks in Chicago went by in a blur, despite Hayley desperately wishing for time to slow down. And now her bags were packed, she’d said goodbye to Fiona, Philip and her colleagues, and stood at O’Hare International Airport with tears streaming down her face.

‘Don’t cry. Please don’t cry,’ Rick said as he wiped her cheeks with his fingers. ‘Promise you’ll call when you get there?’

She noticed the tremble in his voice and she nodded. ‘I don’t want to leave.’

He pulled her back against his chest. ‘I’m going to miss you so much.’

‘We’ll talk on the phone,’ Hayley said as she swallowed the lump in her throat and wrapped her arms around him. ‘And chat on ICQ. And we’ll make plans for Christmas? Okay?’

He hugged her more tightly and she heard him sigh.

‘I’m sorry, Miss,’ the United Airlines rep called over. ‘We need you to board now.’

As Hayley walked through the gate and waved at Rick, she felt her heart tear clean down the middle, and only one half of it was England bound.