Time to Get Tough (19 page)

How can we feel good about handing over this mess to our children and grandchildren? How can we think about the hundreds of thousands of soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines who have died for our freedom and way of life and not be ashamed at how we've allowed their gift to be trashed and abused? It's a total disgrace. If we're going to turn this thing around, we have to do it fast.

It's time to get tough. The time is now.

I
n the spring of 2011, Lally Weymouth, daughter of the late, great Katherine Graham, publisher of the
Washington Post
, invited me to go to the White House Correspondents' Dinner. I had turned down so many of Lally's invitations in the past, I thought accepting her invite would be the right thing to do. I knew I was probably being set up by the media, but that's okay as long as you're prepared for it.

When I arrived at the event in Washington, thousands of people were packed into DC's biggest ballroom. The White House Correspondents' Dinner is the Academy Awards of politics. News reporters, political operatives, celebrities—you name it they're all there. As I walked in, the paparazzi
and press were going crazy. “Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump,” they shouted, “do you think the president will mention you in his speech?” I said, “I have absolutely no idea. I never thought about it, I sincerely doubt it, and why would he mention me?” I said this honestly despite the fact that I was at the top of the polls without even campaigning. The truth is, if I was in Obama's position, I probably wouldn't have mentioned the name Donald Trump, especially since I was hitting him hard on his birth certificate and asking why he wouldn't just show it and get on with dealing with the serious issues our country faces today on debt, unemployment, and China, among others.

In any event, the festivities started, people went to the dais and made speeches, and eventually a third-rate comedian named Seth Meyers (somebody who in my opinion has absolutely no talent) got up and spoke. He was nervous, shaking, and sounded like he had marbles in his mouth. He made a crack that Donald Trump's candidacy was a joke or something to that effect. It was quite nasty but I've had a lot worse things said about me.

Then the president got up. As part of his routine they had a picture of the so-called birth certificate blown up on a large screen. And while the president was smiling, I knew inside he wasn't. Then, they showed a picture of the White House with “Trump White House” written on top of it like a hotel sign, which was cute. The president spent a lot of time telling jokes about me. I didn't quite know how to react. Should I be laughing? Smiling? Frowning? I wasn't sure so I decided to keep a straight face, with a few little smiles every once in a while because I knew the cameras were on me. The fact is, I loved the evening and I loved what the president was saying because even though they were jokes, he was telling them in a nice and respectful way and he did a good job telling them. And while I shouldn't admit this, I don't mind being the center of attention, especially on such an evening.

Sitting at another table was a beautiful blonde woman who turned out to be supermodel Brooklyn Decker, wife of Andy Roddick (a wonderful guy and a terrific tennis player who has never received his fair due). Brooklyn was not happy. Lally Weymouth was laughing her head off and other people were laughing like crazy. They thought it was hilarious that I was being roasted, but Brooklyn Decker actually looked angry. Months later, Brooklyn and I met at Anna Wintour's fabulous dinner at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I thanked Brooklyn for her classy attitude and she knew exactly what I was saying. She is a terrific person and will continue to go far.

In any event, as the president was telling joke after joke, I tapped my wonderful wife, Melania, on the knee and said under my breath, “Baby, do you believe this? This is amazing. The president of the United States is doing nothing but talking about me.” I loved it! I was having a great time! In fact, walking out of the ballroom, people were high-fiving me. They couldn't believe what they had just witnessed. It was a stellar night.

The next morning, I picked up the newspapers. The press was brutal. They said I was ridiculed, refused to smile, and was deeply embarrassed. I realized then and there that political life is not real life. The media can distort the truth, and everyone thinks that's what really happened. I had a great time, but the press made it seem just the opposite. So for the record, the White House Correspondents' Dinner was a real highlight for me, and I loved it immensely.

What I don't love are wannabe “journalists” who are obsessed with protecting Obama, and “reporters” who try to ride my coattails to make a name for themselves and compensate for their lack of talent. Take, for example, MSNBC. They have this guy called Lawrence O'Donnell whom
I seldom watch (and neither does anybody else). His ratings are terrible. So bad, in fact, that they just moved him from the 8:00 p.m. time slot because Bill O'Reilly was absolutely killing him.

This O'Donnell guy's hatred of me was absolutely laughable. He would rant and rave about me like a total lunatic. I don't think he has a huge career in television—at least I would be very surprised. A year ago, he had strongly picked Tim Pawlenty to win the Republican nomination. Obviously, that turned out wrong. His media bookers, who are very nice, keep calling my office begging me to do his show. Our response is simple: I only do shows that get good ratings. I don't want to waste my time.

One bright spot on MSNBC is Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski on a show called
Morning Joe
. I don't always agree with what they say, but it's a vibrant, entertaining show. They have a great future in television or anything they want to do. My only suggestion for Joe and Mika is that they be more forthcoming, because often last year Mika and Joe would call me to say they were making a speech to a big audience and wanted to know if it would be okay if they could call me on my cell phone so I could say a few words during their speech. Whenever possible, I would agree to it. Mika usually would be the one to call and I would be speaking by cell phone to hundreds or thousands of people. Mika said to me, and I am sure she won't deny it, that every time they make a speech all the people ask about is Donald Trump. They want to hear about Donald Trump, they want to know what it is Donald Trump thinks. The only problem is they don't say that on the air. In fact, recently, there was a beautiful picture of Mika making a speech holding up her cell phone and Joe alluded, “Oh, look at the cell phone . . . I wonder what is going on
there.” Mika, knowing exactly what Joe was alluding to, said, “Uh, well something . . . ” and that was the end of it and they went on to the next topic. That doesn't change my love for Joe and Mika. They are great people and they are very talented, but they should be a little bit more open about how I help them.

One guy I find somewhat irritating, but have actually come to like in terms of viewing, is Bob Beckel, the resident liberal on Fox News. I don't know the guy, but every time in the past when my name was mentioned, Beckel would say, “Well, what does he know? He went bankrupt.”

When I heard this, I asked one of my people to call Fox and explain that I never went bankrupt. Over the years, I, Carl Icahn, Henry Kravis, Cerberus, Apollo, and many of the biggest names in business have used the nation's laws to do and turn great deals. I have used the laws for certain companies to reduce debt and turn them around. I have also bought companies and immediately thrown them into Chapter 11 in order to renegotiate with banks, and made great deals because of it—I followed the law, and what's wrong with that? Now, if they change the laws, I will find another way to gain maximum advantage. But the bottom line is I never went bankrupt. Anyway, I have to give credit to Beckel, because after we set him straight, he has stopped making his mistake and now I enjoy him much more.

Someone I don't enjoy is the clown called Bryant Gumbel. He has failed on so many shows I've lost count. At any rate, Gumbel goes on HBO to cover the amazing story of a golf course I am building in Scotland. Trump International Golf Links is being built on the largest dunes in the world. When completed, there won't be anything like it. In fact, I and others predict it will be the greatest golf course anywhere in the world. It's a
spectacular project, but it's been controversial because some environmental groups are opposed to developing the Great Dunes of Scotland, which I happen to own. So Bryant gets on HBO to do a story on the amazing golf course and goes off on a rant about me and Obama and tries to paint me as some kind of racist, which I am the furthest thing from being. Here he gets this big story on almost 2,000 acres along the North Sea in Scotland being transformed into the world's greatest golf course, and what does he do? He launches into a temper tantrum about Donald Trump. What a jerk! About the only thing I admire about the guy is his taste in real estate—he bought a couple of apartments in one of my many buildings.

Far better than Bryant Gumbel is Piers Morgan. After winning
Celebrity Apprentice
, Piers Morgan became a star and took over for Larry King on CNN. His show is terrific. One day Piers called me and asked me whether I would call in to his show, a privilege I receive that few others get because they'd rather have me on the show by phone than not at all. So I told him I would.

It turned out that he had a guest that night who was, of all people, then-Congressman Anthony Weiner. Interestingly, this was shortly before he imploded with his death-wish antics of sending nude photos of himself to women he had never met. Think of this: a celebrity politician, well known, doing such a thing. What a loser!

About a month prior to doing the show, Anthony called me. I knew him somewhat. He asked me to support his bid for New York City mayor. I told him strongly that I liked Mike Bloomberg, who would not be running again, and that it was a little early to start thinking about it, but sure, he could come see me if he wanted to. We had a very pleasant conversation. In fact, it could not have been nicer.

So when I called in to Piers at about 9:10 p.m., I learned that Anthony was in studio and would participate in our conversation. They asked me if that was okay and I said it was fine.

Piers started off by asking me a question and then all of the sudden out of nowhere I heard this maniac Weiner ranting and raving, with great anger, about all sorts of things. He said I would never be president. I said to myself,
Wow, is this the same guy that just called me about campaign contributions
? Then I attacked him, because I always believe when attacked, hit your opponent back harder and meaner and ideally right between the eyes. Weiner said in a snide voice that he was on pace to be New York City's next mayor, whether I liked it or not. I told him that wasn't happening, at least not according to the polls and what people in the city were saying about him. He rambled for a bit and then I said, “A lot of people are leaving the city if you end up winning.”

Little did I realize that a few weeks later this moron would explode, and my prediction that Anthony Weiner would not be mayor of New York City would be so prophetic and be proven correct so quickly.

As you probably know, my show
Celebrity Apprentice
has been one of NBC's biggest hit shows and a huge money maker for eleven seasons. I have a lot of rich friends who tell me they would kill to have their own hot reality show. Not for the money, mind you, but because it creates such a powerful brand presence and is a lot of fun to do. I tell them to go for it, but for whatever reason—personality, looks, stage fright, lots of reasons—they say they could never do it. But they give me a lot of credit for being able to pull it off.

Last season,
The Apprentice
was usually the #1 show in the 10:00 p.m. time slot, which is the most important time slot because it leads into the
local news. It's been a winner right from the beginning. Here, for instance, is a
Variety
ratings chart on its first season.

Right now we're shooting the twelfth season, which will debut right after the Super Bowl. And let me tell you, NBC is going to be happy, because we have the best cast I think we've ever had.

Nevertheless, when I announced I was thinking of running for president, some of NBC's news people absolutely smashed me. One of them was Chuck Todd. I call him “Sleepy Eyes” because he looks like he is falling asleep when he speaks. No matter what I did or how hot I was in the polls, Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd refused to say it. I would call him and say, “Chuck, it's not fair what you're doing.” He would say, “Okay, I'll change it,” but he wouldn't change. The thing I find most offensive about Chuck Todd is the fact that he pretends to be an objective journalist, when in reality the guy is a partisan hack. I was very disappointed in Chuck Todd. Needless to say, he's no Tim Russert.