Authors: Pamela Labud
Caro took a shaky breath. “Why not?”
Her husband drew a breath. “Did you love him, Caroline?”
She sniffled. “I told myself I would one day. And I was the oldest daughter. I had an obligationâ”
He put his finger on her lips. “But did you love him?”
It was a raw question and Caro knew the answer, though she was loath to speak it out loud.
The expression of concern that colored his eyes made it impossible for her to refuse to answer. And in doing so, she could tell him no less than the truth.
“No.”
“You were making a sacrifice for the ones you loved. That makes you a good soldier, Caroline. And like many good soldiers, you carry a scar. It's a testament to who you are and what you have suffered. Not a badge of shame, but rather proof of your honor. Believe me when I tell you it's a beautiful marking and not something you should ever be ashamed of.”
Then, without saying another word, he leaned down and placed another gentle kiss upon the scar.
Caro gasped. Suddenly, the memory of the stinging pain she'd felt since that terrible night was completely gone, now replaced by a tenderness she could never have imagined.
It was just before sunset and Ash lay awake waiting for the carriage's return. It was one of those rare moments when he could study his wife while she was unaware of his scrutiny. At the moment she was sleeping, wrapped in the blanket, lying curled on her left side facing him.
My wife.
Ash repeated the words in his mind over and over. She'd not only lain with him, she'd made love to him. He'd felt it to his very core. She'd wanted him and when he'd offered her all of himself, she had taken him body and soul.
And now, watching her, he was torn between awakening her and trying to persuade her into one last tumble before the carriage arrived, or remaining beside her, just watching her sleep. No doubt about it: He was fascinated by her. Like a butterfly feasting on a rose, he could have stayed like that for hours on end, enjoying her company.
In those hours of the waning afternoon, he'd also given serious thought to going back to the lodge, saddling his best stallion, and riding all out to London. More than anything, he wanted to meet with the bastard who had hurt her so badly and give him a sound thrashing.
Once the carriage pulled into the clearing, however, all he could think of was bundling her into his arms and making sure she made it back to the lodge safely. When he lifted her from the ground, she moaned and cuddled into his embrace. He let her settle for a moment before moving her to the carriage. With the driver's help, he settled inside the cab and she didn't once wake up.
The groom, Horace, smiled at them both. “A woman sound sleepin' is a woman well loved.”
“So it would seem,” Ash said.
Of course, given their rumpled appearance and the fleeting tongues of the locals, it would be spread throughout the forest by morning that the Duke and Duchess of Summerton were well on their way to producing an heir.
This newly married state, and the fact that he might one day be a father, amazed him beyond measure. Until his wedding to Caroline, he'd thought that he'd already experienced all in life that was important. But now, gazing at his bride and thinking of the endless possibilities that lay ahead, Ash was filled with quiet reverence.
He looked up to see the last of the sun sinking below the horizon. A sudden rush of urgency swept through him when he considered all that needed to be done once she became pregnant.
Closing his eyes, he imagined the day when Caro would come to tell him she was carrying his child. Whom should he tell first? Certainly, his aunt and Caroline's sister should be notified as swiftly as the news could be carried to London.
Not only that, he'd have to make arrangements to care for an infant at the lodge.
He shook his head. Of course, he knew his wife would want to go back to the city. It would only be natural that she would want to be close to her sister and mother. In addition, considering how difficult childbearing could be, it would likely be better for her to be near a physician.
Childbearing. Ash ground his jaw. Damn. He hadn't thought about the risk she would be taking by bearing his child.
“Is something the matter?” Caroline asked, suddenly awake and staring at him wide eyed.
“Hm? Uh, no. It's nothing.”
He was surprised when she sat up and gently caressed his face, her fingertips brushing against his evening whiskers. It was a pleasant feeling, and all he wanted to do was close his eyes and get lost in her touch.
“Something is wrong,” she said.
How could she know? Gazing into her eyes, Ash quickly realized two things. First, from their earliest moments together he'd been unable to deny her anything.
And second, he could not lie to her.
Ever.
“I've been considering things. You know, like notifying our families, preparing our home for a child, and⦔ He paused for a moment, glanced out the window to regain his composure.
“And?”
“And how dangerous it will be for you to give birth.”
She sank into his arms again, nuzzling her face into his chest.
“Not to worry, my husband. I'm sure your aunt will engage the best physician and midwife to help with the delivery.”
“Of course she will. She is my aunt Amelia, after all.”
Still, the worry hung between them. It was a terrible shadow that would plague them, staying always in the distance, a demon ready to threaten them at any minute, until the day the baby was born.
When they arrived back at the lodge, Ash refused to let Caroline walk and insisted on carrying her to his room. Along the way he shouted orders to the staff to have a late dinner brought up to them.
Meggie gasped when she saw the state of her mistress. “My lady!”
“It's all right. I've just had a fall into the lake. His Grace insisted on carrying me upstairs. Would you be so kind at to move my things into his room?”
A broad grin broke out on her face and she nodded. “Of course, Your Grace. I will, immediately.”
When they entered Ash's room, Weatherby was there waiting for them. Fortunately, the valet, an expert at being tactful, said nothing upon seeing Caro's disheveled appearance.
After settling her on the bed, Ash excused himself. He knew his wife would need the attentions of her maid, and he wanted to change his clothes and see to the hounds. The blasted beasts had run off the instant he'd let go of their lead ropes.
“I'll be back in a few minutes,” he told her, when Meggie appeared at the door, arms laden with fresh clothing and a steaming pitcher of water.
“Of course.” Caro scooted to the edge of the bed and leaned forward wearing an expectant expression.
Ash realized that she was waiting for something. He paused for a moment.
“Is something the matter?”
Her face reddened instantly. “Perhaps I'm being fanciful, but I remember whenever my father would leave the room, he gave my mother a light kiss on the cheek. I thought it was something all married couples do. Please forgive me.”
Ash smiled. “There's nothing to forgive.” Taking his seat on the bed beside her, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply.
“Oh, Ash,” she breathed, once he'd pulled away.
Before he left, he took her hands and placed a kiss on each of them. “Until I return,” he said, bowing. “Now, I'm off to see about those devils, Nelson and Wellington.”
Caro watched him go. She was truly amazed that in a matter of hours he'd changed. Perhaps they both had.
“Oh, Your Grace,” Meggie said at the door. “Are you truly all right?”
“What?” Caro slipped off the bed and was immediately surprised to find that not only was she sore from the wondrous bout of lovemakingâshe'd expected thatâbut her arms and legs ached. No doubt a result of her fall into the lake.
“I suppose I must look a sight⦔ she said. She gingerly walked to the cheval glass. When she saw her reflection she was shocked at her appearance. No wonder the staff had looked so upset when she and Ash had arrived at the lodge.
“My lady, what happened?”
“I took a tumble down a hillâ” she started.
“Did His Grace push you?”
The thought of her gallant husband doing such a nonsensical thing caused her to giggle. “Oh, heavens, no. It was Lord Wellington, I think. Uh, one of His Grace's hounds. The leash accidentally wrapped around my legs, knocking me over, and then I rolled down the hill and into the lake.”
“It's a wonder you didn't drown,” Meggie said, helping her out of her ruined dress.
“I almost did. First of all I can't swim, and then with all the fabric of my gown, my corset, and my shift, I barely escaped with my life. I tell you, it's impossible not to get tangled up in all sorts of ways.”
Meggie guided her to the chair in front of the dressing table. “You must have been scared out of your wits.”
“Actually, it all seemed like a dream. One moment I was standing on the hillside, arguing with the duke, and then I was at the bottom of the lake. When I opened my eyes again, he was there, taking hold of me. The next thing I knew, we were floating to the surface like a feather floating up to Heaven. It's strange, but when I saw His Grace, I knew everything would be all right.”
“How heroic!”
“Indeed. When we reached the camp, he wrapped me in a blanket and warmed me himself.”
“That's so romantic! He saved your life, my lady.” Meggie had clasped her hands in front of her, grinning from ear to ear.
“Yes, well, he is always saving my life, and then he always is so kind afterward. I think that's what I like about him the most.”
Closing her eyes, Caro remembered how gentle he'd been. The way he'd carried her, as though she were fine china wrapped in linen. Even when they'd made love, he'd been most careful with her.
Caro cringed. She'd been such a fool, blaming herself for all these years.
Suddenly, seeing herself in the mirror, she realized that she wasn't some hideous creature after all, but a vibrant and attractive woman. She couldn't believe that she'd almost missed true happiness because of another person's cruelty.
And now, all of a sudden, her life had drastically changed. Wrapping her arms around her belly, she couldn't help thinking of the child who might be forming there soon.
She had a future.
Together, she and Ash had a future.
Turning to Meggie, she grinned. “I can't wait to get back to London. If we're blessed to have a child, there's so much to do there, I can't wait to go home.” Caro sighed. “I swear, London is the perfect place to raise a child.”
To Ash's good fortune, the hounds had returned straightaway to the lodge after their dalliance with their ladylove. He should have beaten them to within an inch of their canine lives, but since it had been they who had set the events in motion that had led to his wondrous afternoon with Caroline, he decided to be lenient. That, and seeing them romp around the yard playfully, made him decide to let them off with a stern talking-to.
“You're very lucky they came back,” Horace remarked. The older man knew every nuance of every manner of farm lifeâdogs, goats, cattle, and women seemed to be his specialties. The fact that he'd been married for thirty years and had eight children had gone a long way toward making him the wisest man in the county.
Both the dogs came to Ash then, tails wagging, tongues out and lapping at him happily. “I'd scold them, but somehow, I doubt it'd make any difference.”
“Not with the likes of these rounders, Your Grace. Ah, well, you can't fault these poor blokes for doing what nature calls them to do.”
After his time with Caroline that afternoon, Ash was thinking that, like his hounds following their female, he would likely be chasing after Caroline's skirts for some time.
“I'll tell you what keeps them coming back, if you'd like,” Horace offered.
Ash looked up at the older man. “Their warm blankets and the heaping bowls of stew that Cook sets out for them every night, no doubt.”
“Well, that and one other thing. They love you, Your Grace. You are their morning and their night. When you're gone from the place, these two lads mope about the place something terrible.”
Ash sat back on his heels. “Do they? Well, I miss them, too. I miss everyone and everything at Slyddon.”
“It's glad I am to hear that, Your Grace. Things here aren't nearly as enjoyable when you're in town.”
“That's good to hear.” Ash laughed. “Unfortunately, I have family duties to attend to, so I won't be staying on as long as I'd like.”
“No doubt Her Grace will be wanting to return to the city, eh?”
“If we are blessed with a child, Her Grace will require a skilled physician nearby. I know Mrs. Weldon is a well-known and highly regarded midwife, but I'm sure my aunt will want a physician on hand.”
“Ah, 'tis too bad, Your Grace. People may say as they will about the lodge, but 'tis a great place to raise children. Lots of fresh air, clear skies, and clean living.”
Ash sighed. “I would love nothing more than to return here after the child is born, but my aunt and my wife are of another mind on the matter.”
“Then you must make them see the truth of it.” The old groom turned to the hounds. “Come on, laddies, let's get your dinner.”
The dogs responded in kind, jumping around excitedly, only sparing an occasional glance toward Ash.
Watching as they headed for the stables, Ash pondered just how he was going to convince two women, who'd hardly stepped a toe outside of London, that living in the country was far more desirable than remaining in the crowded city.
Amelia, he thought, would likely be the most understanding. After all, didn't she have her own house in the country? She knew the value of unsullied air and sunshine. And, as long as they were back in town by the beginning of the season, there should be no problem with her agreeing.
No, the difficult one to convince would be Caroline. She'd already experienced a terrible fright when his friends had invaded their bedroom. And then there was the incident with the hounds earlier that day. It would likely scare her out of her wits to try to raise a child in the midst of such chaos.
Walking back to the lodge, Ash considered his options. He could demand that the child stay with him for most of the year, but even to his mind, taking a new baby away from its mother would make him nine kinds of a bastard.
No, the only rational thing to do was show it to her through his eyes. Hopefully, once he explained it all to her, Caroline would agree to raise their child at Slyddon for at least part of the year.
“That would be a perfect plan,” Duncan said after Ash found him in the library, “if she were a manâwhich she isn't. She's a woman, my friend. I've heard it said that women aren't capable of appreciating the same things that men do.”
“You don't know that,” Ash said. “When you come down to it, Caroline is a most reasonable woman.”
“I don't doubt it. But in this world there are few constants, you know. One is the universal law that men and women are different. Opposite sides of the equation, if you will.”
“Well, what do women like?”
“Cooking, perhaps. Raising children. Sewing.”
“Those sound like terrible chores.”
“Well, I'm not one hundred percent sure, old man. My guess is that since women come in all shapes and sizes, their likes and dislikes are just as varied as their hair color or the size of their feet.”
Ash sighed. “You're no help at all.”
“Sorry, Ash.” Duncan paused. “Take heart, old man. You did well today, didn't you? Well, uh, until you let your hounds knock her into the lake and nearly kill her, that is.”
“What else can I do? How can I possibly make her understand?”
“I don't know. Take her quail hunting, or better yet, bird watching. I would imagine women like that. Or perhaps spend a pleasant evening stargazing with her.”
Ash left the foyer, his mind filled with possibilities. Caroline hunting quail with him, or fishing at the lakeâalthough he would certainly make sure the dogs were put away, of course. Or perhaps she would enjoy spending a late night beside a campfire. Or better yet, lying naked with him under the stars and making love in the moonlight. The possibilities were endless.
That was it then. Surely she would come to love Slyddon as much as he did.
And more than that, she would agree that Slyddon was the perfect place to raise a child.
Once her hair and undressing had been seen to, Caro sent a very tired Meggie on her way. A single candle burned low on the bedside table and for the moment, she lay stretched out on her husband's bed watching the flickering light cast dancing shadows around the room.
Closing her eyes, she imagined what it would be like to have Ash's child. Would the child be a boy or a girl? Would the baby have her husband's temperament or hers? Would it prefer the wild outdoors or the lavish surroundings of a London estate?
Caro sighed. This was all so new to her, but she would have to be vigilant. She had the well-being of her new family to protect, especially if they were to have any future at all.
And, would Ash be satisfied with just one child? Somehow, Caro couldn't imagine their home without half a dozen little ones dashing about, getting into all sorts of mischief.
In a few short days Caro's life had turned inside out and upside down. She couldn't wait to get home and tell her mother and sister all about her new life. It was so thrilling, just thinking of the time she and Ash would have together. It took no effort at all to imagine them strolling through Piccadilly, shopping on Bond Street, spending their afternoons visiting friends in Mayfair, or going on long afternoon carriage rides through Hyde Park.
No doubt he would take her to the theater and the opera, or one of the many gala balls during the illustrious London season. Such things, which she'd only dreamed of, would now become reality.
“Hello, my darling,” Ash said. He'd entered the room, smiling and carrying a food-laden tray. “Cook has sent us a fine meal of roasted pheasant, fresh bread, and cheese.”
“Thank you.” Caro sat up, realizing that she was famished. “I feel as if I haven't eaten in a week.”
“I thought you might be hungry after the day you've had.”
Caro smiled and took the plate he offered her. Quickly sampling the fare, she found that the thick broth and tender meat tasted incredible. Savoring each bite, she made fast work of her portion.
“I must say, I never expected things to happen as they did.”
Ash grinned back at her. “Neither did I. And yet here we are.”
Just then a knock sounded at the door. It was the butler, Mr. Chadwick, and he'd brought them a bottle of wine and two glasses. After Ash sampled a small portion, he nodded to the servant.
“That will be fine,” he said.
The butler bowed. “Thank you, Your Grace.” With that he bowed and then left them alone once again.
Ash poured wine for himself and Caroline, and then, handing hers over, he raised his glass to her. “To us, dear Caroline. May we have a long and happy union.”
Raising her glass, Caro smiled and then took only a sip. As near to exhaustion as she was, too much wine and she'd be fast asleep.
It had been such a strange and wonderful day. Caro was sure that nothing could dispel the feeling of contentment that now filled her.
“I was wondering,” Ash began, “if you would do me the pleasure of joining me on a jaunt about the place when you're feeling up to it. I'd like to show you the true beauty of Slyddon and her forest.”
Suddenly, Caro's optimism faded. “I do think it's beautiful,” she said, hoping to avoid further exposure to the wilds. Considering her near demise at the bottom of the lake, Caro firmly believed she'd quite enough of the wilds already.
Ash held up his hand. “I promise that there are wonders here you can't even imagine. Come with me, Caroline, and see this amazing place as I do.”
Caro hesitated. The way he was looking at her, his eyes wide and his expression pleading, she suspected she'd been doomed from the start. This was her husband, after all, and also, at last count, he'd saved her reputation and her life. She couldn't help feeling that she owed him so much already.
What harm could another day outdoors do her?
Remembering the two of them lying together on the blanket, her husband making love to her earlier that afternoon, warmed her straight through to the marrow.
“I'd love to go with you.” Caro forced a smile to her face, and Ash let out a slow breath.
“Good,” he said, taking her hands in his. “I think you should stay in bed tomorrow. You took quite a tumble today.”
“It's not as bad as all that.”
He leaned forward and kissed her gently. “Perhaps not, but we should be careful just the same. Don't worry, I'll be here to make sure all of your âneeds' are taken care of during your recovery.”
He waggled his eyebrows, and Caro had the sudden vision of what exactly he'd meant by “needs.” Her face heated and she knew full well that he'd set her to blushing once again.
“Well, as long as I'm not spending the entire day alone in bed,” she said with a laugh.