To Catch a Lady (28 page)

“That's provided they intend to stay on. I haven't spoken to any of them about it yet.”

“Be assured, neither have I. But the staff is excellent, and I believe that with additional support, this will be the premier hunting lodge of the area.”

“I can only tell you that I've enjoyed it every day that I've been here.”

“So you're selling the place, crate and barrel. Are you certain that's what you want to do?”

Ash bit down on the ache that stirred in his gut. “Positive. It takes a great deal of effort to maintain, and as I'll be out of the country for a long time, I won't be able to oversee it properly. I think you'll find that, in the long run, Slyddon will prove quite profitable.”

The ride out to the lake went smoothly enough. Husband and wife enjoyed light conversation, and Caro couldn't help but remember the last time they'd been there.

“Ah, here we are, at last,” Ash said.

He helped Caro out of the carriage and then set up their camp. A large quilt thrown down on the ground and a basket full of meats, ale, fresh fruit, and bread made for a lovely outing. And yet, Caro had the feeling that something was wrong.

Ash smiled up at her. “Won't you join me?” He sat cross-legged, holding his hand up to her. In spite of their argument earlier, Caro found she couldn't resist his charms. This Ash was the one she remembered from their first outing together. How kind he'd been, how gentle when he'd made love to her.

“Of course,” she said. After all, he was her husband. Forget that their first time together had nearly resulted in her drowning.

“It was an exciting time,” he said.

His expression remained calm, his voice quiet. It didn't matter. Caro sensed a roar of emotion beneath his words. “For me, as well.”

“I want you to know one thing,” he continued. “I have no regrets. And it is my hope that you don't have any, either.”

“I have no regrets, husband, I assure you. Only concerns.”

He laughed then. “I'm sure you do. You wouldn't be Caroline Hawkins if you didn't.”

“Caroline Blakely,” she said quietly. “Or are you planning to put me through the disgrace of a divorce?”

He shook his head, “Never that, Caroline. Not to worry. I suppose it's just easier to think of you as that unwieldy woman who stormed into my office. You certainly got my attention.”

“I remember you as well,” she told him. “You were as stiff as a piece of driftwood left in the sun too long. I thought you woodenheaded and far too serious.” Caro couldn't help smiling. “I didn't like you at all, you know.”

“Nor I you.” He looked toward the lake. “I've been here, on this very spot, so many times. Stephen and I would sleep over there, beneath that tree. Of course, with him being an heir, there was an armed guard nearby.”

“That must have been unsettling for you.”

Ash shrugged. “I was used to it. I will say that about Amelia, she was vigilant. No harm will come to either you or our son in her care.”

Caro shook her head. “Ash, I want you to reconsider leaving.”

“I'm sorry, but my mind is made up. I've already made arrangements to get you back to London tomorrow night. And I'll be leaving the day after.”

“What if I don't wish to leave? It's become my home, too, you know.”

“Caroline, be reasonable. You don't like Slyddon. I don't blame you for that. It's not your home. You don't have the ties here that I do.”

She shook her head. “You're wrong. I'm as much a part of this forest as you. I fell in love here. Your son was conceived here. There are no stronger ties than those.”

“And what will you do when I'm gone?”

Caro bit her lip. “I shall wait for you.”

“Really? And what of our son? Will you take him away from Amelia and bring him here as well?”

Caro did her best to keep the tears from falling, but she could no more stem their flow than hold back a flowing river. “Perhaps they'll both come. And I'll send for Mother and Bea, too. I just know they'll come to love it as I do.”

Ash shook his head. “No, they won't. You know your mother would not make the trip so easily, and in fact might even fall ill again. And your sister? So far away from her ladies' meetings? She'd go mad with no one to conspire with but the goats.”

Caro smiled. “I suppose you're right. Oh, Ash, I just want you to forget all this nonsense and come back to me, to us. I need you, your son needs you.”

He looked away, pain cutting across his face. “Caro, we've already discussed this. Please, I beg you, don't make it any more difficult than it already is.”

Caro bit her lip. She cast her eyes downward. How could she convince him to stay? How could she remove the blight that had darkened his soul?

“Very well,” she said at last. “Do what you must. I can't stop you.”

Ash sighed. He looked as if a ten-stone weight had been removed from his shoulders. “Thank you.”

“Oh, don't thank me. The moment you are gone, I shall feed all of your stockings to Prince Hamlet. And I shall most certainly give your best cravats to Sir Pig, and then I'll allow the ducks to all roost in your—”

He laughed then. “Oh, Caroline, you do vex me.” He leaned closer and pulled her into his arms. “Thank you for understanding. I promise you won't regret it.” Then he kissed her. Deep and complete, caressing her the way he'd done so many months before.

And Heaven help her, Caro drank it in. She relaxed back, half expecting his hunting friends or even the hounds to come bounding into the area, but none came. Instead, it was just the two of them, together.

“I've missed you so much,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

“And I've missed you as well,” she said, rasping as she drew in a deep breath, gasping from the feel of his hands on her again. He felt warm and wonderful, his body still taut, intense strength still contained in muscle and bone. And when he folded her in his arms, she relaxed into his embrace. It was Heaven, and knowing that this might be their last time together, it was also a bittersweet Hell in the making.

But God help her, Caro didn't care about the future; she only reveled in the moment, awash in the memories of the past.

“You smell so good, and taste,” he ground out, “you taste even better.”

Nibbling along her chin, down her neck, he pulled open her bodice and gave equal attention to her breasts. Caro flexed her back, allowing him greater access to her body, and before she knew it, he was lifting the hem of her gown, pushing against her shift, and sliding his hands along the inside of her thighs.

Somewhere in their sensual storm, she had the thought that if she made love to him, if she could entice him with her body where words had failed, he might change his mind. So, in a very unladylike maneuver, she pushed him away.

“Stop!” she commanded.

Breathing hard, his face a mixture of confusion and desire, he pulled away. “What? What did you say?”

“I said stop.” She gave him a shove.

“Oh, now you're just being a bad sport.”

“I'm not. I'm being practical.” She placed her hands on his shoulders. “I'm going to teach you a lesson, husband.”

He leaned closer. “Goose. We were making love.”

She shook her head. “Oh, no. That was you, trying to get me to forget my arguments. Well, not this time.”

“So we're done, then?”

She shook her head. “Not at all. This time, I'm going to make love to you.”

Ash drew in a deep breath at her declaration. “Really.”

“Before you go off gallivanting to Heaven knows where, I want you to know what it is that you'll be leaving behind.”

With that, she launched herself upon him. He barely caught her, and fell onto his back with her landing on top of him.

Before Ash knew what was happening, her mouth was devouring his, her body pinning his to the ground. When he tried to move her, by the heavens, she growled.

“Not this time, Ash. So long as I've waited for you, I've been angry and hurt by you. But this time, I shall make love to you and you had better damn well accept it!”

“What in blue blazes?” He barely had time to draw a breath before she tore open his shirt and began biting him. By the gods—was she biting him?

“Caro,” he said, but words failed him as she slid her mouth down his abdomen. When she slid her hands beneath his bottom and pressed her fingers into his flesh, all breath left him. He was taken to a level of desire he hadn't even known had existed.

Not wanting her to stop, he quickly pulled loose his drawers, undid his shirt the rest of the way, and let her have access to his body. And she feasted upon him as though she was starving and he was a meal long denied.

So close to letting go, he drew in a sharp breath. “Caroline, please, I beg of you…”

But what was he begging for? For her to cease so that all reason and control could come back to him? Or did he want something else? Release, his mind screamed at him. He wanted release. He wanted to forget who he was and just let go.

And then, in the miasma of his thoughts, she did something he'd never even considered a woman would do for him. She placed her mouth around him and, gently suckling, drove him to complete madness.

Being the fool that he was, he gave in to it.

Without another thought, he pushed her off of him and, rolling them both over, took her in one swift thrust.

Caro moaned in pleasure, and suddenly he was a randy young man, hiking her skirts above her waist and making love to her until they both reached climax together. Then, at the precise moment when their bodies and souls were joined, he knew he took them both over the precipice and into sweet bliss.

This time, riding back to the lodge, it was Ash who slept. Caro smiled, brushing the hair out of his eyes. He was lying on the seat, his head in her lap, his legs propped against the side of the cab. His breath was warm against her skirt, and she couldn't wait to return to home so that they could spend the night again in each other's arms.

Surely he would change his mind, she thought. Their lovemaking had been exquisite. She knew she'd taken down his last defenses, and he'd already stolen hers. Now, she was certain, their lives could go on. They would spend part of their time at the lodge, and then in London. He would take his son to the lake, and she would join them there. In her mind's eye, she could see the three of them together, and maybe another, she thought. A daughter, perhaps?

Contentment filled her, and she was sure nothing could ruin it. It was as if they were newlyweds once again, with only the joyous days ahead to look forward to.

As they rode the long miles back to Slyddon, she closed her eyes and dreamed of holiday dinners, friends joining them, all of the parties they would attend. In her mind's eye, she could see Ash and her together with the children, riding through Hyde Park on long Sunday afternoons. It was an idyllic life, and she wanted it more than anything.

Before long the carriage rolled to a stop, and Ash awoke with the end of their journey. Unfolding from the seat, he climbed out of the cab. As Caro followed him, she saw a strange carriage parked in the drive.

“It appears we have company,” she said as he helped her out of the carriage.

Ash stiffened. “Yes. I forgot to mention it to you.”

She looked at him. “You did? Who is it?”

He cleared his throat. “No one important.”

She meant to press him for more, but just then the front door burst open and a large man strode out, followed by two servants dressed in full livery.

“Ah, Your Grace! I was afraid I'd be gone before you returned. And with your lady wife as well. Your Grace, how honored I am to meet you.” With a great flourish, he swept his hat from his head and bowed low.

“I'm pleased to make your acquaintance as well,” Caro said, but before she could return his gesture, her husband grasped her arm.

“Caroline, let me introduce a new friend of mine, Lord Arthur Canton.”

“A new friend, husband?”

“Oh, the duke does me great favor, Your Grace.” Canton turned to Ash. “Sir, I thank you for loaning me your staff today. I have made a full tour of the surrounding acreage and I can't be more pleased. The castle still needs a bit of work, but nothing to prevent the sale, I assure you.”

Caro stood, mouth open as he bade them good-bye. She didn't know what to say at first. Ash remained quiet as well. All of a sudden, her gentle husband had fled and a stranger stood beside her.

“You're selling the lodge,” she said at last.

“I'm sorry you had to find out that way, Caroline.” He crossed his arms. “But it's for the best. Come inside.”

He reached out for her, but she pulled away. “You never told me. All this time, you planned to sell Slyddon and you never said a thing? How could you?”

“It's mine to do with as I please. You have the London estate.”

Caro shook her head. “How can you say such a thing?” She covered her mouth, the pain of his action cutting her like a knife. “That's why you got rid of the animals, the stallions, the hounds? All of it?”

“Caroline, I simply don't want this any longer. There are too many painful memories.”

“Of me? Of us? Tell me, Ash, are you just getting rid of Slyddon? Or are you getting rid of me?”

“Caroline, you know that's not true. I'm going to travel. You need to stay with our son. If I have this place always holding me back, then I can never move forward.”

He reached for her, but she dodged his hand.

“Don't touch me. You don't love me. You never have.”

“Caroline, I forbid you to say such a thing.”

“Forbid all you want. You're a cad. No, you're a coward.” With that, she ran past him and into the house. She tried to slam the door, but he was too quick and caught it, bursting in behind her.

“Stop it! Stop it this instant, Caroline. I won't have you acting this way.”

“Me? I've done nothing but try to take care of you. Why should you care what I do as long as it doesn't keep you from your own destruction?”

“I don't know why you are being so irrational. I'm doing this for you as well as for me.”

She'd made it halfway up the stairs, then spun around to answer him. “For me? How dare you! You're not going to lay the blame on me. You won't stay here and you won't come home to London. It's very plain that you're doing nothing but running away from everything.”

“Is it? Can't you see this is killing me? You give me false hope, Caroline. Hope for a life that won't end in disaster. But it's a lie, Caroline. Look at us now! Arguing, just as my parents did. It's only a matter of time before we repeat their mistakes. Before I repeat their mistakes.”

“That's ridiculous. Married people argue. They laugh, they make love, and they disagree. It's all part and parcel.”

“Other people don't let their passions run away with them. They don't tear away at each other until there is nothing left.”

“Is that what you think we're doing? You're wrong, Ash.”

He drew in a breath. “Whether I'm wrong or not, it's my choice, as is the sale of this castle. I've already made arrangements. I'm sending you back to London in the morning.”

Caro stared at him, stunned. “You're sending me back?” she said, barely above a whisper. “Of all the cruel, heartless things to do.”

“I'm sorry you think so,” Ash said.

He reached out for her again, but she pushed away from him. “No. Don't you dare touch me again. All you do is talk about us destroying each other, and then you do this.”

Caro spun around, but her shoe caught on a stair. One moment she was pushing away from him, and the next she was falling backward. Her last sight was of him wearing a surprised expression, and then blackness engulfed her.

Stunned, Ash watched as she started to fall. Desperate, he grabbed for her, but he was too slow, and she tumbled backward, looking like a marionette with its strings cut.

“Caroline!” he yelled, then ran down the stairs after her. When he got to her, she lay crumpled at the foot of the stairs.

“No,” he cried, kneeling. But Caroline remained unmoving, her skin pale and her body still.

“What have I done?” As if he was suddenly walking the landscape of a nightmare, he backed away from her. “No-no-no-no…”

He'd killed his wife.

Ash didn't know how long he stayed there; the last bits of sunlight had disappeared and the room was almost completely dark. He sat on the bottom step, his arms crossed and his head bent on his knees.

Though they came unbidden, memories of his childhood returned full force. That last night his father was alive.

“Merelda!” Ash's father cried again and again. Lumbering through the house like some great beast. Ash was spending the night closed up in his room, his mother and father across the hall in their own room. The two were arguing, as they did every night.

“James, please,” he heard his mother cry. Then, the very next thing he heard was a loud crash, and then his father's crying.

Scared beyond belief, Ash made his way to his parents' bedroom. Just as he reached the door he heard the rifle's report. Loud, quick, and decisive. He opened the door and saw his father on the floor, lying in a pool of blood. His mother lay but a few feet away, beneath the bloodied corner of the table where she'd hit her head.

Vaguely, he was aware of the servants arriving a few minutes later and leading him out of the room. The maids cried; his father's valet sent for his aunt and uncle. At first, neither of them spoke, but then his aunt embraced him. Ash could still remember the carriage ride to Summerton and his new life.

And now, his life had come to this. “I suppose,” he said to the darkness, “that Father had it right after all.”

“Baaaaa!”

Caro opened her eyes to see two warm brown goat eyes staring down at her. Before she could ponder it further, the animal leaned down and licked her face. He must have decided that she didn't taste very good, because he moved on to the table beside the open door and helped himself to a bowl of flowers.

Caro didn't know how long she'd been lying there. Her head hurt, and when she tried to roll over, pain assailed her from all angles.

“What in the world…” she mumbled. Finally able to sit up, she rubbed her eyes. Then, checking herself over, she found a large lump had risen on her right temple. “What did I do?”

In asking the question, the memory came flooding back to her. Ash was selling the lodge, they'd argued, and she'd run up the stairs. He'd followed her and when he tried to grab her, she pulled away. “I must have fallen.”

Slowly, she managed to stand, and, holding on to the wall, she waited until the pain ebbed before moving any farther. Once she had gotten her footing, she glanced around her. The front door was open, and it was full night outside.

“Ash?” she called out. But no answer came. “What has happened to him? Ash!” she called out again. Then, his last words came back to her mind. His parents. He'd been talking about his parents. And their last argument.

Fear gripped her, and for a moment she stood paralyzed. Thinking the worst, she made her way to the library and the gun cabinet. When she entered the room, she saw the dim candle burning low.

“Oh, no.” The cabinet was open and one of the rifles was gone. “No,” she cried. “Ash, what have you done?”

Suddenly a loud crack split the night's silence.

“Oh, God, no!” Caro ran out of the room, barely able to keep from falling. She did her best to get down the stairs and out the front door.

“Ash!” she screamed again. Running through the courtyard and past the inner wall, she followed the path out of Slyddon and toward the forest beyond. Looking around, the night lit only by a half-moon, it was almost impossible to see anything at all.

She remembered Ash's favorite hunting spot, where they'd waited for the deer that early morning, and ran as fast as she could to reach it.

“Ash!” she called out into the darkness. As she ran, stray branches scraped at her and sharp thistles stabbed her feet, but she didn't slow down—until she came upon the tree. The large oak where they had sat that morning, when she'd kept him from killing the deer.

And there he sat, with his head down and as still as death, his back against the tree, the rifle on the ground beside him.

“Ash!” she screamed and fell to her knees beside him. “Dear God! What did you do?”

Then, to her surprise, he looked up at her. “Caroline?”

Ash gazed up at her for a moment, confusion and surprise warring on his face.

“Ash, what were you thinking? Are you hurt?”

Slowly, as if he were suddenly coming awake, he blinked twice and gazed at her. “I thought you were dead,” he whispered.

In the next instant he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms, crushing her against him. “I thought you were dead. You fell, and then you didn't move.”

“I'm alive. I'm here.” She kissed him and then drew back, holding his face in her hands. “What in the devil were you doing?”

Taking a breath, he pulled her to him again, this time holding her as if she were his very life's blood.

“All I could think of was that I'd killed you and that I was just like my father. I remembered all of it. The anguish and the fear. It seemed there was only one thing I could do. I was going to shoot myself, but I didn't want to die at Slyddon. I thought that one day our son might come there, and I wanted it to be a place of good memories for him as it had been for me.”

Caro touched his face. “So you came out here?”

“I wanted to be in the fresh air, where when morning came the warm sun would shine down on me.”

“What happened? Did the rifle misfire?”

He shook his head, “No. At the very last minute I remembered something.”

“What?”

“Our son. The way he looked that morning. Staring up at me, so trusting, so loving. I couldn't do it, Caroline. I couldn't abandon him like my father had abandoned me.”

“That's what I was trying to tell you.”

“I'd forgotten what it felt like. Even with my aunt's and uncle's and cousin's love, they still weren't my parents. I loved them, and I will forever owe them for everything. But that pain of finding my parents gone is beyond compare. So I was going to carry on, even though the thought of living without you was unbearable. I owed it to my son to make sure he knew at least one of his parents.”

“Oh, Ash. I do love you.” She hugged him. “Don't ever leave me.”

He sighed. “I'm not planning to, now.”

“What?”

“Don't you see? I don't have to leave either of you. The proof of it was tonight. I'm not my father and I never will be. I will be with the two of you as long as I'm alive.”

“Oh, Ash.” Caro kissed him again. Then the two of them stood up and walked back to the lodge, arm in arm.

Just as they reached the front of the castle, Caro pointed toward the door. “Look! Prince Hamlet has returned. And he's brought his family.”

Sure enough, a herd of goats, brawing and snorting, came bustling out of the house. In the doorway, Mrs. Hardesty stood, brandishing her broom at them all.

“Filthy beasts! That's the last time you'll invade my house, I tell you!”