To Catch a Lady (27 page)

“Get off me!” she growled beneath him.

“What's the matter, Caroline? You did come here to be with me, right?”

“You dolt! I'm here to keep you from killing yourself. Beyond that I don't care what happens to you.”

Ash smiled. “You're lying. But that's all right. So what if you nurse me back to health? When you leave, I'll be left on my own again.”

Just then Weatherby came out of the adjoining room, arms laden with clothing. He sighed. “Your Grace. It looks as if you've fallen.”

“You can go to Hell. I discharged you.”

“I no longer am in your employ, Your Grace.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“I'm working for your wife.”

Ten minutes later his former valet and his wife helped him back to bed. Now, he sat propped up on pillows, his arms crossed, and scowled at everyone who came near him, especially Caro, who sat perched upon the foot of his bed.

“Do you wish to torment me to my very last breath, woman?”

“I do, indeed. You married me. You're stuck with me.”

“We'll see how long before you go running back to London this time.”

It looked for a moment as if his arrow had found its mark. But something had changed. Caro gave him a kind smile and, crossing her arms on her lap, drew in a deep breath.

“Now that you brought it up, there is something we should discuss.”

“Really? What's that?”

“The day I left you, when you had gone to the village for supplies, I left you a note.”

“I hate to argue with you, but in fact you didn't.”

Her smile remained unchanged. “Yes, I did. But I suspected you wouldn't believe me. Fortunately, while I was cleaning thoroughly, I found this.”

She pulled a wrinkled, half-chewed piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to him.

For a moment, he only looked at the parchment. “What is it?”

“Take it. Read it, and your questions will be answered.”

Drawing in a deep breath, Ash took the paper from her. Then, opening it up, he turned it this way and that, then pulled it closer and read it.

“Your mother was sick?”

“Very. She had stopped eating and had grown so weak, she nearly died.”

For a brief moment, the words stuck in his throat, but somehow he managed to push them out. “I'm sorry. Is she better now?”

“Yes, thank heavens.” Her smile faded. “But then, there was no way for you to know that. So I forgive you. You thought I had abandoned you, and—”

“Stop it,” he said, shaking his head. “You've no need to go on. It was a misunderstanding. Our contract remains the same, Caroline. You owe me no more apologies today than on any day before.”

“Insufferable man. I didn't mean to apologize to you. I don't owe you any apologies. The silly goat ate my letter. You didn't bother to look for it.”

“Then, why are you going on so? I told you it was a mistake.” He sat back, closing his eyes. “You can go back to London now.”

For a moment Caro said nothing, and when Ash cracked open his eyes, she was still sitting there, arms crossed in front of her, her eyes narrow and wearing a serious expression.

“I told you. If you want me to go back to London, you need to get out of that bed and make me go.”

Ash wanted to swear, but his aunt had taught him better. Instead, he just gave Caro his best smile. “Very well. When I am stronger, I shall make getting rid of you a top priority.”

She smiled back and leaned forward. “You can try.”

Long minutes passed as they stared at each other. When he saw she wasn't about to back down, he let out a breath. “How fares my son?”

She relaxed a bit as well. “Healthy and growing. And missing his father.”

He smiled at that. “We've never even met; how can he possibly miss me?”

“You think a child doesn't notice when a parent's gone?”

“Not an infant, no.”

“Then you're wrong. One day, when he can speak and walk, he'll ask about his father.”

“Yes, well, I suppose you'll have plenty to tell him, then.”

She shook her head. “I won't tell him. You will. You owe it to him, and to yourself.”

Ash closed his eyes. Would the woman never understand? “I'm tired,” he said, and closed his eyes, hoping that she would get the hint and leave him be.

To his dismay, she sat for a while, watching him, waiting for what, he had no idea. Then, in spite of his best intention to stay awake, he dozed off. When he awoke the sun had set and the room was dim around him. That's when he saw her, curled up in the chair, sleeping soundly.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered.

Caro did her best to remain patient with her husband, she really did. But if he didn't stop being so difficult, she'd likely have to do as she'd threatened and beat him. At least his health was improving, even if his attitude wasn't. Thank heavens his appetite was better. At the moment, Weatherby was helping him to the breakfast table.

Fortunately, Caro had been able to get the cook, Mrs. Hughes, to come back on staff. Though Meggie gave it her all, she was a much better maid than a cook. Caro was getting tired of eating eggs and bread pudding.

“Ah, coming to join us for breakfast, wife?”

“Yes, I am. And I'm also very pleased to see you at the dining table.”

Ash grunted. “It was either that or eat on the floor. Mrs. Hardesty's back, and she insisted on changing the linen. I damn near fell down the stairs.”

“Well, no matter. You are here. Perhaps, after breakfast, you might want to go for a walk.”

“You know, I think I'd enjoy some fresh air.”

Caro watched her husband make a face. She could tell he was up to something. She'd best be on her guard, then.

It was a nice spring day, and Caro had to admit she was quite happy to go outdoors. “You know, when I first came here, I have to say, I hated this place. I wanted nothing to do with it, at least no more than a walk in the garden.”

“And now?”

Caro sighed. “I've truly missed it. The air is much fresher than in the city. And the trees are so beautiful. And of course, there are the wildflowers. Yes, I miss that—and the rest as well.”

“The rest?”

“The men, the animals. I even miss Old Walter.” She smiled.

“Oh. Well, it has been awfully quiet around here.”

“Yes, it has. Well, maybe some of the animals will wander back one day.” She walked to the edge of the pond, and, kneeling down, she ran her hand along the water's edge. The memories were there, that first time when she'd followed him down to the water and he…

“It was a long time ago.”

She shrugged. “It's been a year. But that's not what I had on my mind.”

“Oh, what were you thinking, then?”

Caro looked up. While her husband was no longer as run-down as he had been, he was nothing like the man she'd been with that night. Strong, virile, and most determined. And yet, a part of her knew that that man was still there, beneath the surface. Just like the stones that lay at the bottom of the pond.

“I was thinking how cold the water is, and that by summer it should be nice for swimming.”

She looked up to see that his expression had changed. Emotion clouded his eyes, and he was frowning.

“You won't be here that long,” he said. “Remember what you said. As soon as I'm well enough, I'm to make you leave. I'll do that, Caroline; have no doubt about it.”

“I haven't any doubts anymore, Ash. Just memories. And pain.” Drying her hand on her dress, she turned and walked toward the door. “Please excuse me. It seems I've taken on a chill, after all.”

Ash watched her leave, and it was all he could do to keep from following after her. But he didn't have time to dwell on it very long because his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of dogs barking. Spinning around, he caught but a glimpse of Nelson and Wellington bounding over the hedge and heading straight for him.

What in blazes? He didn't have time for another thought because the very next thing he knew, he was lying on the ground and two large dogs were lapping at him and rolling all over him.

“Here, lads!” Duncan called out, running into the clearing. “Heel, I say! Heel!”

It did no good, and after a few minutes, Ash relaxed and let the dogs have their way. When they were tired out, they settled down beside him, panting heavily.

“Ahhh,” he said, running his hands along their backs. “I've missed you boys,” he said. And it was true. He hadn't realized it until that minute.

“And they've missed you, as well. Are you finished moping around the place? Can we start up another hunting party?”

“I don't know, Duncan. I'd like to, but there are so many things that I have to sort out.”

“Well, think about it. I've got to get back home before sunset. I'm meeting with my future in-laws. Take care of our lads, here.”

“Wait, you're not taking them with you?”

“I can't. Besides, they miss you. Good-bye!”

Ash sat for a moment, stunned by his friend's sudden departure. He was wondering if his friend had spoken with Caroline. It would certainly be like her to contact Applegate, and God knew who else, for that matter.

And yet he couldn't deny it felt good having the dogs back. He had missed them, not to mention how badly he missed his friends. It was clear that he wasn't going to be allowed to wallow in self-pity any longer. So there was one thing left to do.

Drive his wife mad. That way, she'd be glad to leave him. But he knew he could accomplish that only if she was sure he wouldn't let himself go again. Very well. That's what he would do.

He'd get her to leave. One way, or another.

Caro knew immediately when the tables had turned. First, her husband had suddenly started being nice. While he hadn't been particularly mean to her, once his fever had broken, he had just been distant. She knew that he hadn't wanted her there, but he had at least tolerated her. Grudgingly.

In addition to the pressure of dealing with her husband's malady, for that's what she considered it to be, Caro also had to deal with the feelings of separation from their son. She wanted so badly to be with him, but she knew full well that she was doing what she had to for the sake of their family.

If she didn't, she knew there would be a day when her son would ask about his father. She had to at least be able to tell the child she'd tried her best to keep his father with them. Anything less was unacceptable.

So, it was a strange relief when Ash approached her one morning after breakfast. Strange, because up to that point, he'd chosen to speak to her hardly at all.

“I trust your meal was enjoyable?” he asked as he took the seat beside her.

“It was very good, thank you.” She paused, curious as to why he'd chosen to grace her with a visit this morning. “I'm sorry you missed it. I can have Mrs. Hughes put out another tray of eggs if you'd like.”

He held up his hand. “Oh, no. My appetite isn't quite back to its usual heartiness. I had tea and toast in my room this morning already.”

The first thing she noticed was that he was no longer in his long shirt and robe, but had instead come down in a fine white linen shirt and brown trousers. He was wearing his Hessian boots as well, so she thought he might have an outing planned for the day.

An outing, she asked under her breath, or was he perhaps thinking of running away?

“Nothing of the sort,” he said.

“I beg your pardon?” The heat of embarrassment washed over her.

“I can read your expression as if it's ink on parchment. Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere.”

“Oh, uh, I didn't think you were,” she lied.

Ash smirked. “You're not a very good liar.”

“Would you prefer it if I were?” she asked, doing a poor job of keeping the sharpness from her tone.

“No, I wouldn't.” He did smile a little then, but it was fleeting, as seriousness returned to his face very quickly. “In fact, it's your honesty that makes you the most interesting. Don't ever lose it, Caroline.”

“Well,” she said, sighing, “it's good to know that at least I'm interesting. Not a bad attribute, if you ask me.”

Ash leaned back in his chair. Caro had the sense that he was being cautious for some reason, taking time to choose his words carefully.

“I suppose you're wondering why I came down this morning.”

“I am curious, yes. Though I happen to know that it's not pleasant being shut up in your room all the time.”

“No.” He chuckled. “It turns out I'm terrible company, even for myself. I'm much too self-absorbed and pathetic. I wouldn't recommend anyone spending that much time with me, ever.”

“You're not so bad,” she said, looking down at her hands. “You do have times when you're rather good company, you know.”

“I'll leave that to your kind judgment. As for me, I have decided that killing myself, either with brandy or with a pistol, is not a very good idea. And while I don't think I'll be doing my son any good turn by being involved in his life, I certainly don't want to leave him the legacy my father left for me.”

Caro glanced up at him. Although he kept his face impassive, she didn't miss the pain that flashed in his eyes. She realized for the first time that it had always been there. Like a dim light in a room with the door closed, his pain was a slight but consistent glow.

“Amelia told me about your parents. I'm very sorry.”

He was quiet for a moment, again likely choosing his words with care.

“Thank you. But it was a very long time ago, and beyond my control. I suppose you might say that I was as much a victim of their foolishness as they were.”

“More so, I would think. It's easy to end your life. But to the person left behind, it's a terrible sadness.”

“Yes, well, we all have our problems, don't we?”

“I suppose so.”

“I just wanted to tell you that I've decided to rejoin the living. If you'll accompany me, I'd like to ride out to the lake today. It's one of my favorite places, after all.”

Caro studied him for a brief moment and realized just what he was doing. “You're leaving, aren't you?”

He shrugged. “I've been thinking about a change of scenery, actually. There are places I've always wanted to go. With an heir for my aunt to dote on, I'm free to travel.”

Caro did her best to keep emotion out of her voice, though she was somewhere between slapping him and bursting into tears. “Where will you go?”

“I've always wanted to visit India, for one. There was a colonel I served with in the army who raved about it. Also, I thought I might make a trip to the colonies.”

“I see. Then it's not enough to put half a country between us—now you must separate yourself from us by going to different continents?”

He shook his head. “It's not that, Caro.”

“Then what, Ash? What is it?”

He paused for a moment, licking his lips. “It's everything. The responsibilities of this title are pressing. Then…being a father and a husband—well, those are things I distinctly did not want for my life. I'm not laying the blame on you, or on Amelia, although if I'd had a sterner hand with her, I could have saved both you and me a lot of misery.”

Caro stood up, pushing the chair back. She crossed her arms. “I've had enough of this madness. Is that what you think this is? Misery? Well, I have a few things to say on the matter and I promise you, when I'm done, I will say no more.”

“Caroline, wait—”

She put up her hand and stepped back a pace. “No. You need to hear this, and then if you decide to throw yourself in the bloody lake, or use a pistol at dawn, at least it will be with the knowledge of how you're affecting others who love you very much. First, while I was completely against our marriage, I have come to treasure the time we've spent together. I would even dare say that I fell in love with you, except that it would make little difference to you if I did.”

“I never wanted to hurt you,” he muttered.

“Whether you wanted it or not, you have. But that's not the worst of it. Running around, dealing with smelly animals, strangers in my room, nearly drowning—none of it was what I'd expected. But it was bearable, considering what we had. And do you know what made it bearable? Do you have any idea?”

“No,” he said quietly. “I have no bloody idea why you insist on trying to make this false marriage work, why you even give a damn what happens to me, especially after I've treated you so badly.”

“I'll tell you why, sir. And if you hadn't been so woodenheaded, so utterly incapable of giving one iota of thought to someone else besides yourself, you would look into the face of your son and know, as I do, that it was all worth it.”

He sat down, all of the fight deflating him completely. “You see, Caroline, that's the problem. I did see him. That first night. Don't you know I'm doing this for him? And for you.”

She shook her head. “If you think this half-hatched plan of yours will benefit me or your son, then you are a bloody fool.”

Ash knew that he was playing with fire the minute he spoke the words. But the truth had to be told, and he was certain that once he left and she had a chance to think things through thoroughly, she'd come to agree with him.

“I am a fool, wife. Make no doubt about it. But you are stuck with me, at least for the time being. I suggest we make the best of it.”

He watched as Caroline crossed her arms, obviously doing battle with her emotions. “What do you want to do?” she asked, her voice trembling slightly.

“Just take a ride out to the lake. Damn me, but I have fond memories there, and I'd like to return just for the afternoon.”

“I'll get my wrap.”

Ash watched her go and couldn't help the longing to follow her upstairs. But no, he had plans to make before they left. Letters must be sent, and he had to make sure the supplies he'd ordered would be in place when the time required it.

“Ash, there you are.” Viscount Arthur Canton stood in the doorway. “I trust everything is in order?”

An old man, he was tall and wide, and his reputation for being loud and obnoxious was well known.

“Lord Canton, I'm so glad you made it.”

“It was an interesting journey, but I arrived late last night. I told your doorman not to wake you. I must compliment you, Your Grace, you have a top-rate staff. I assure you I shall make great use of them.”