To Fall (The To Fall Trilogy Book 1) (43 page)

“I don’t want to talk,” I mumbled. I didn’t want to lie. There were too many lies and secrets already, and I wasn’t innocent of that.

“I’m sure it will blow over. Was it bad?” Beth asked, cringing.

“He makes decisions for me without considering what I want. It’s out of love, I know, but he crossed a line. I want space from him. He messed up. He knows it.”

The boys called the girls back into the game and I told them to go. More texts pinged through.

Xander:
Abby, where are you?

Xander’s ringtone chimed, the Eli Young Band’s “Say Goodnight,” the first song he kissed me to
.
I let it go and he didn’t leave a voicemail.

Xander:
Please, I just want to know you’re okay. I know you’re not at the dorm.

Mel took the cell out of her pocket. “He’s calling me. What do you want me to say?”

“Tell him I’m safe, but that’s it.”

She took the phone to the other side of the yard, and by her exaggerated arm gestures, she was arguing. Jake was talking too loud and I knew Xander would hear him.

Mel finished the call. “Damn, he’s persistent and really upset. It must have been bad. I didn’t tell him anything. Just that you’re okay.”

Xander:
Abby, please.

Xander:
I made a mistake. Please call me. Talk to me.

Thirty seconds later, Jake’s phone chimed. “Hey, Caleb. Yeah, I’m hanging out at my house. No, I’m not drinking. Yeah, she’s here.” Jake looked to me. “Sure! I could use help. Greg’s kicking my ass at basketball… Later.” He hung up the phone, smiling. “Caleb’s coming.”

“Mel,” I pleaded.

She winced. “You wanna go?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna go. If I see him, I’ll turn into a blubbery, incoherent mess.” Both girls gave me a hug before leaving.

I didn’t know where I was going. I needed space and Xander wouldn’t give it to me. It had only been an hour. I went to the one place I could think of—the mall. I walked from one store to another, not focusing on anything because everything I looked at made me think of Xander. My phone buzzed like the emergency alerts during a haboob.

Xander:
Please. I’m trying to keep you safe.

Ringtone again. Missed call
.

Xander:
You’re not at Jake’s. Where are you? We need to talk.

Missed call.

By now, I reached the food court, the scent of cinnamon buns, pizza, and roasted chicken made me realize I hadn’t eaten today and my stomach protested.

I wound up in the pretzel line. I didn’t like pretzels and I had no idea why I was in line for one. I ordered the salted bread from a boy with blue hair, and on brief estimation, ten facial piercings. Finding a spot in the food court, I obsessed over Xander and picked the salt off the warm bread, letting it tingle on my tongue.

“Abby Miller, are you in the land of the mall people?” Will grinned down to me.

“Hi, Will.”

He flipped the chair backward and sank down with his lanky legs stretched out. “Whatcha doing here?”

Did he mean the mall, food court, or anywhere without my boyfriend? I struggled for a reason. I had to tell him anything but the truth, because telling him that my heart was breaking would make it all too real. “I am…uh…I wanted a pretzel?”

He laughed. “Jeez, Abby, you must have. Those are terrible pretzels. You should’ve gone with the cinnamon bun.”

I really should have. “What are you doing here?”

Will said, “I hurt my arm hiking the other day, fell on it.”

I winced when he revealed a swollen purple elbow with abrasions running along his forearm. “Will, I think you need another hobby. Computers?”

He shook his head. “I have to work on my tan daily. How else am I going to get skin cancer by the time I’m thirty?” He laughed at my eye roll. “Today, Miller, I’m taking my wounded ego out to people watch. Maybe I’ll find someone worse off than me to make myself feel better.” He glanced around. “You here by yourself?”

I nodded in answer.

“That’s gotta be a first,” he mumbled.

I resisted another eye roll; he was right. Margaret called and I ignored it. Mel called. “Can you excuse me a sec? It’s Mel.” I waited for his nod and stepped away from Will.

Before I could open my mouth, she started. “Oh my gosh! Abby, Xander’s falling apart. I’ve never seen him like this. He and Caleb begged me to tell them where you were.” Xander was smart to use Mel. He knew I would cave to her.

“Well, you don’t know, you’re off the hook.”

“Abby, it’s not my business, but I think you should tell him where you are. He looks like he’s gonna cry. He wants to talk to you.”

I considered telling her, the fact he was upset gave me a little comfort that he realized what he did was wrong. Then, I remembered asking for my memories back and the cold way he said, “No.” My resolve hardened.

“Mel, I asked him for space. It’s been a couple of hours and he won’t give it to me. I need this. I need him to know he has to allow me this. Tell him I’m okay.”

She sighed. “I get it. But, Abby, are you okay? He said you had a rough morning.”

“I’m fine. He’s exaggerating.” Another lie.

Mel made some sort of whiny-groan. “Abby, his heart is breaking here.”

I hung up. One more second, I would tell her where I was. I asked Will, “You wanna walk the mall?”

“Yeah, let’s go find people to laugh at.”

I shot him a look to tell him I wouldn’t be.

Will dragged me to a gag store and messed around with the offensive T-shirts until he finally got me to laugh at the deranged gnomes on toilets. Then there were the obscene lollipops that made me blush. He lifted up a salt and pepper set that modeled bathroom movements. Gross.

I hadn’t realized how much I needed to laugh. For a minute, I forgot my heartache, then I caught sight of one of those sexy devil and angel decals on the back of truck windows, and my heart hurt all over again.

I made a weak excuse, “It’s getting late. I better get back.”

Will looked at his phone. “According to my clock, it’s three. Are you on Sun City time?” He pinched his brows together.

I shrugged. “I have a family dinner tonight. Thanks for keeping me company.”

“Us fellow brown eyes have to stick together! Well, you have fun, Missy, on your early Saturday night!”

I wiggled my fingers. “Bye, Will. See ya Monday.”

Will held up an inflatable male doll with a beer belly and a hairy chest, and waved its appendage at me that wasn’t an arm or a leg. That image would stick with me.

I reached the car and pulled out my cell.

Xander:
I get it. I’m a jerk. Be mad. Hate me. Please don’t ignore me. You’re not safe out there by yourself.

Xander:
Abby, I love you with all of my being. I wouldn’t do anything intentionally to hurt you. Tell me where you are. Please.

Beth called me. “Hey,” I answered.

“It’s me.” Mel’s voice came through the earpiece. Phone-jacker. “I’m with Greg…and Xander.” Damn angel charm. He was turning Mel against me.

I moaned, “Mel.”

“Abby, he wants to talk to you. He told me to tell you he has something to give back to you.”

“Tell him I’m safe and he had his chance this morning.” I hung up.

Hopping on the freeway, I drove without a clue where to go. Somehow, I ended up at our spot. Stepping out of the car, I let the country music play to keep me company. It was cool tonight and I wasn’t dressed warm enough, but I didn’t want to sit in the car. I hunkered down in the dirt and hugged my legs while I looked out to the downtown lights. I realized I picked a terrible spot to avoid thinking of Xander.

I let my mind wonder what Xander had said to God here. The guilt and remorse filled me and twisted my heart. Xander stood here at this spot. A real Heaven’s angel, thousands of years old, ready to give up everything for one human. Me. He faced a fall from God—painful and difficult. Nothing was difficult for Xander and pain wasn’t something he came by easily. He loved me. If he wiped my memory, it was for a reason. If he lied, there was a reason. Everything he did was because he loved me, to keep me safe and protected.

One of our songs came on the radio. I stared at the car; it was like fate shook her finger at me, shaming me for my outburst. Tearing up again, I wiped my face with my sleeve.

My phone pinged again.

63

Xander

It hurt to know how much damage I had caused. It killed me that she wouldn’t talk to me. I should have followed my instincts and told her the truth. Anything but this…

Even in my nightmares, I never thought she could hate me, but she did. I never thought my heart could break, but it was.

I had moved the SUV to the next street and perched in a shade tree to watch the house.

A scream erupted from the neighborhood park and I climbed higher to see a young girl crying. No one was coming for her and I couldn’t leave her there. I ran to the park and saw a girl holding her arm, crouched in the sand. I asked, “What hurts, sweetie?”

She couldn’t have been any older than six. She sniffed behind unraveling braids. “My arm. I was swinging super high and jumped.”

My hand warmed on her arm and she cried out before she realized it wouldn’t hurt. I sensed the fracture in her elbow. “What’s your name?”

“Jenny.” She peered up with sad brown eyes.

“Okay, Jenny. This is going to hurt for a second, but I promise it will feel better.”

She nodded with two more big tears rolling down her dark cheeks. Jenny cried out as the bones fused, and once the pain subsided, she relaxed. I wiped her tears away.

“Thank you.”

I gave her a warm smile. “You’re most welcome. Don’t swing super high next time.”

After Jenny dashed off, I returned to Abby’s street. The silver Camry was missing and my stomach churned with unease.

Margaret answered my incessant knocking. “Abby left.”

I gripped my hair. “What? Cresil knows.”

Margaret turned ashen. “Is he here?”

“Hannah cast him away last night, but he might be desperate enough to send drones here like he did with—”

“Anne,” she finished in a whisper. “Would he?”

“It’s a remote possibility.”

Her brows pinched and the ring twirled around her finger. “Why remote?”

“Drones are too careless. They’re newer demons and don’t have control of their powers. Cresil wants to be the one to claim Abby and I don’t think he would trust them with her life. That’s why he only used them as a diversion with Anne. He didn’t want anyone else to know about Abby and he still doesn’t.”

Her shaking hands pulled the phone from her back pocket. After a long moment, she shook her head. “Voicemail.”

“Keep trying. I’ll find her, Margaret.”

She gripped my arm and her bottom lip wobbled. “She’s my baby girl. She’s all I have left—”

I held her face. “I will find her.”

Back in my car, I called my house. Calista answered, “Are you okay? Did you talk to her?”

“No. I was watching her, but I had to go help a little girl. I was gone for three minutes and she left in her mom’s car. I think she’s breaking up with me.” This day was a nightmare.

Caleb said, “Alexander, we’ll fix it. You were right. We’ll fix it.”

“How? By more mind control? Are we gonna wipe this morning away, too? Then what? When does it end?” I sat with my head in my hands. “What if I don’t get her back?” I wondered aloud, knowing everyone was thinking the exact same thing, but they were too kind to say it.

Hannah implored, “Text her, Brother.”

Before I could type anything, Margaret called and said Abby went to Mel’s. I drove like hell and texted her without an answer. When I arrived at the dorms, the Lexus and the Camry were gone.

Blood rushed in my ears and it hurt to breathe. She could be anywhere driving around town, upset. She could have another attack. Cresil’s drones could find her. She wouldn’t pick up her phone or answer any of my texts. I called Mel and heard Jake in the background. Damn it!

If I had given Abby her memories back when she asked, she wouldn’t have gone back to Jake’s house. She wouldn’t have left to “think.” I had Caleb call and make sure Jake wasn’t drinking, and get an invite over. Meeting Caleb at a secluded area, we drove to Jake’s.

“She’ll forgive you, Brother. I know she will.”

My hands wrung around the steering wheel. “You didn’t see her face, Caleb. She’s never been this angry with me. This was the one damn thing she didn’t want. The one thing!”

Caleb’s eyes filled with pity. “I’m sorry, Alexander. I’m so sorry.”

She was gone by the time we arrived at Jake’s and Mel wasn’t helpful. Caleb and I tried to reason with her. I couldn’t keep my voice calm any longer. “Mel, she had two attacks already today. She’s in danger. She’s not thinking and she’s angry. Please, I’m worried. I’m scared.”

Greg pleaded with her, “Mel, call her. She shouldn’t be wandering around town like this. What if she has an attack on the road?”

I groaned and put my head down.

Greg’s hand landed on my shoulder. “Oh, sorry, man. I wasn’t…sorry.”

Hours passed and no one could get through to Abby. Either she was ignoring me, or…the thought was gut wrenching. I would go insane sitting at Jake’s house. Leaving the SUV with Caleb, I took off in search of the silver Camry. She wanted space and I should have known better than to give her an inch.

Thinking like Abby would, I flew to our spot, and the clamp around my gut released slightly. She was here, looking out at the city. I watched her for a long while, longer than she would ever know. My arms ached for her, uncertain if she would ever be mine again.

One of our songs played on the radio and she cried. I took it as a good sign. If she didn’t love me, she wouldn’t have come here, and she wouldn’t cry over me.

Even though she was less than ten feet from me, I texted her.

Did you know I will marry you?

She turned the phone around, looked at it, and put it back in her lap. I tried again.

Did you know I will grow old with you?

She stared at the screen and a tiny seed of hope blossomed. Before my window shut, I texted her again.

Did you know I will fall for you?

She touched the screen. Her slender shoulders shook with tears and hugged her knees. I watched her, not sure if I should go to her. After a long while, she picked the phone up and her ringtone sounded on mine. Blake Shelton’s “God Gave Me You.”

Spinning, Abby’s poor brown eyes were red from crying and her lips were puffy. I took a cautious step forward, letting her song continue. More tears fell onto those pink cheeks and she bounced up, running straight into my arms.

As her delicate body tucked into mine, the familiar rapid beat of her heart pounded against my chest, and I could finally take a deep breath. “Thank you.” It was to God for keeping her safe and to her for not shutting me out anymore. “Abby, I’m sorry.”

“How long—”

I silenced her by slamming my lips down to hers, without wasting another moment. Her lips moved along with mine and she gripped onto my neck.

She broke our kiss. “Not without my permission. Ever again. Okay?”

“I promise, Abby.” I meant my promise, never again. Pulling her flush to me, I was thankful she was all right and back in my arms where she belonged. I put my face in her hair and inhaled the spiced jasmine scent. “I thought you were breaking up with me. I thought you were hurt.”

“No! I needed to think.” Her head craned back. “I found the one thing you suck at, by the way.”

“Impossible.” I grinned. “What is it?”

“Giving me space.”

I laughed. “I’m totally okay sucking at that.”

“Is that my ringtone?” Abby’s cute button nose scrunched and I nodded. “My ringtone for you is a song about making love and yours is how God made me for you?”

I shrugged. “It seemed appropriate.”

She threw up her arms. “Why do you have to be such an—”

“Ass?” I supplied.

Abby laughed, shaking her head. “Angel. You make it impossible to be mad at you.”

“I don’t know. You did a pretty good job of that today.”

She fisted my shirt. “Well, you make it impossible to stay mad.”

Wincing, I tilted my head. “Do you want to stay mad at me?”

A smile spread across her lips that was innocence and sin wrapped together. “No, I want you to take me home and make it up to me.”

“Deal.”