To Forgive & Hold Safe (The Broken Men Chronicles Book 4) (8 page)

“So, you finally agreed to a hot date for tonight, huh?” Hannah asked after her parents had left.  Thanks to her bluntness, my current sip of coffee nearly went down the wrong hole.

Sputtering, I took the tissue Hannah handed me and dabbed at my mouth.  “If you call dinner with my folks a hot date, then yeah.” I chuckled.

I told her about how I had gone to see them and let them in on my life earlier in the week.

“I didn’t realize how much I was hurting them or how much I missed them. I’m hoping that we can get back to how things were before.  It wasn’t just the journals, but more what your mom told me while you were asleep.  She reminds me so much of my mom, it’s uncanny.”

Hannah smiled.  “You seem to have made quite an impression on them.  Tell me about your parents?”

A conversation detailing my folks and childhood led to the discovery that we had grown up with similar backgrounds.

“Do they know about me?”

“About the accident, yeah.”

Next, Hannah asked about Candace’s journals, or their lack of presence specifically, and I shrugged my shoulders.  “I guess I haven’t felt the need to bring them along.”  I wasn’t quite ready to tell Hannah that I would rather enjoy her company more than ruin a good mood with stories of the past that continued to paint my marriage in a darker shade.

“Um…”

“What is it?” I asked, noticing Hannah’s blush.  The look had my heart thumping wildly.

“I need help with something.”

“Anything.”

“I kind of have to go to the little girl’s room.”  She bit her lip.  “Never mind. I’ll call the nurse to-”

“No,” I said a little too breathless. “I was just…distracted.”

Her brows furrowed.  “Distracted?”

I didn’t want her knowing that I had been taken with the way her skin flushed with her embarrassment.  “Come on.” I extended my hand to her, changing the subject.  “Let’s get you there before the nurses slap a pair of Depends on you.”

She harrumphed.  “Oh, you’re funny!”

“I can be.”  I smirked down at her, while she grabbed my forearms to get to her feet.

At her full height, she was a head shorter than my six foot two stature.  I made sure she was stable and swiveled so that I could wrap an arm around her waist as she wrapped hers around my neck.

I escorted her to the bathroom.  “Are you sure you’ll be okay in here?” I asked when we stopped just inside.

“I’ll let you know if I need help with my underwear in a sec.” My jaw dropped.  “I’m kidding!”  She gave me a once over and bit her bottom lip.  The look bordered on seductive.  “Well…”  My eyes widened.  “Still kidding!  Well, kind of.”  She winked and giggled.

“You, my friend, are…” I let my words hang.

“Funny?” I shook my head indicating the negative.  “Gorgeous?”  I laughed and reached for the bathroom’s doorknob to shut the door and give her the privacy she needed.  “Smart, attentive, special…?”

“Crazy!” I said through the door, laughing loudly at her antics.  “But I like you that way.  Let me think on those others.”

She snorted.  “Wiseass!”

“I heard that!”

“You better not be listening to me tinkle, mister.”

“Or what?” I was growing to love this back and forth banter of ours.

She took a beat too long to answer, which I took it to mean that I had stumped her.  “I don’t know yet.” Another boisterous laugh came barreling out of me.  “But I’ll come up with something.”

“Did you fall in or what?  You’ve been in there for a while,” I said after I hadn’t heard anything from her in five minutes.  “Hannah?”

I knocked on the door and when she didn’t answer, I went to open it. The thing flew inward, revealing a proudly smiling Hannah.

“What are you looking at?” She brought up a fist and chucked me under the chin playfully.  “Shut your mouth, you’ll catch flies.”

And then her knees buckled.

Catching her before she hit the floor, I said, “You should have let me know that you were done.”

“I’m going to have to do this on my own some time.”

“Had you wanted to, I would have let you, but what if something had happened?”

“Nothing did.”

I held on to her with my hands on her hips and her hands lay flat on my chest.  The air filled with silence as I peered into her eyes.  Something was shifting, and if I willed myself to admit it, it had been shifting over the course of days.

“You can let go now.” Her voice had a raspy sexiness to it until she cleared her throat.  “Or are you itching for another hug?”

“You’re the one who fell, not me.  I just didn’t want you to land on your face and hurt that cute nose of yours.”  I flicked it with my finger, making her scrunch up her face before she stuck her tongue out at me.

Yeah, I really could get used to having Hannah around…

I walked into my parents’ home with a cheese-eating grin on my face, finding Dad in the kitchen helping Mom out, or more like helping himself.

“Company present!” They both jumped.  “It smells great!  What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”  I moved to kiss my mother on her cheek, while Dad laughed and slapped me on the back.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” he said.

I nodded.  “It’s a good day.”

“So you mean to say that you won’t be dodging us after you’ve inhaled your meal?” I knew Dad’s words were meant as a joke, but they still carried an undertone of hurt, which made my guilt surge up a notch.

“Not tonight.  Unless I get a call that the business is burning down or-” I stopped myself right there.

“Do I detect the subtlety of a woman?” Dad nudged me with his elbow when I came back from the fridge with a beer for him and me, and an opened bottle of wine to refill my mother’s goblet.  I shrugged my shoulders in answer.  Mom and Dad shared a look.

“Spill.” Mom dropped the spoon onto the counter and turned to face me with her arms crossed at her chest.  Dad assumed his rightful position: behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

Dad started with, “Is it that girl from-”

“Hannah.” I nodded.  “Sort of.”

Dad grinned but Mom appeared confused.

“You said she was in a coma,” she said.

I smiled broadly.  “She woke up a few days ago.”

As I set the table, I told them about everything that had transpired since I’d last stopped by.  Like it always was, my parents remained silent as they listened to everything I had to say.

The more I spoke, the more I questioned myself on why the hell I had pushed them away to begin with.  I hadn’t seen one single look of pity from them as I explained what it was that I had read in Candace’s journals.  If anything, I saw anger, frustration and complete devastation – especially from my mother – at the reality that the only thing close enough to a daughter she had come to know had been nothing more than a farce.  The look of betrayal on my parents’ faces from the truth reinforced that I was right in feeling what I had been feeling.

Throughout the week, I was grieving less for Candace and more for the losses Hannah was suffering through.

Don’t get me wrong, I was still dealing with my losses, but I no longer felt as lost as I have for the last three years.  As it was, three years was a long time to wallow over the loss of someone you never truly had.  I basically found myself moving forward without even trying.

“Seems like that girl’s helped you more than you thought possible,” Mom said when I finished rambling. “And it looks like you’ve been helping her through her own things too.”

“Just be careful,” Dad interjected.

I turned to look at him.  “Why?”

“Because you’ve had three years to process things and move on, and it’s still fresh for her.”

“I know.” And then I added, “We’re just friends.”

“But you’re falling for her.” Dad looked at me with that all-knowing gaze of his.  “I know you, son.”

“I agree with your father,” Mom said. “Regardless of what you decide, take your time, Ben, and listen to your heart.  You deserve to be happy.”

A soft laugh escaped me.  “That’s what her mom told me.”

“Smart woman.”  Mom winked.

“You’d like Anne and Adam,” I said.  “They remind me so much of you two.”

Mom and Dad shared an odd look I couldn’t quite place, but as quick as it appeared, it was gone.

“And what of Hannah?” Mom asked.

“Seeing as you enjoy putting me back in my place, I think you’d love her.” I grinned.  “She’s challenging, sweet, and funny. I haven’t laughed as much in the last three years as I have in the last couple of days.”

“I think we’ll have to meet this Hannah.” Dad shared another one of those mysterious looks with Mom.  “I don’t care if she stays a friend or not.  I owe that girl for bringing me my son back.”

Mom only nodded.

It was late when I left my childhood home, Hannah never straying very far from my thoughts. I wondered if her parents had kept her company since I couldn’t be there with her like I normally was.  I found that I missed our late night chats, seeing as tonight had been the first where I hadn’t visited since her accident.

As I drove home, the urge to see Hannah was still potent, but the time on the clock told me that she’d be sleeping.  I’d check in on her in the morning.

Arriving at the hospital around lunchtime, imagine my shock when I got to Hannah’s room and the sheets were being ripped off of her bed.  Her flowers and gifts from friends and family were nowhere to be seen either.

“Where is she?” I asked.

“Who, sir?” the cleaner asked.

“The patient that was in this room.”

“Gone.”

Gone?

“Gone where?”

The cleaner shrugged her shoulders, then pulled a piece of folded paper from her scrub’s pocket and handed it to me.  “This was left behind.  I was going to leave it at the nurse’s station.  Are you Ben?”

I breathed a sigh of relief, nodded and took the paper.  “Thank you.”

The woman nodded and I walked out of the room to sit in one of the hallway chairs.

I looked down at the page, reading my name in fancy cursive.  Unfolding the paper, I took in the words.

Dear Ben,

By now, you’ve noticed that I’m not there.  The doctor came by this morning and told me that I was able to go home.  I’m excited, but I’m scared.  I’m inching toward normalcy again, and I’m not sure how I’ll deal when I get home.

I’m staying at Mom’s and Dad’s for a few days until they’re happy with how I can handle myself physically.  I think they’re still worried that something will happen and I’ll snap.

I wanted to say thank you for all that you’ve done and I hope to see you again.

I finally heard back from Lee’s parents.  They’ve taken it upon themselves to handle the funeral arrangements without me.  There’s a back-story there, which I’m sure, when I see you next (if I do), you’ll get a full rendition.

If this is it and I don’t see you again, I’ll forever consider you a friend.  Ben, what you’ve shared with me, what you’ve helped me through, makes you matter more to me than some I have spent an entire lifetime getting to know.  I only hope that I’ve been as much a source of comfort to you as you have been to me.

Look me up when you’re ready for that baking session.  It’s the least I can do when I already owe you my life for everything you’ve done.

Love,

Hannah

And there it was, in plain black and white – her phone number.

I stopped myself from dialing her up right then and there.

Hannah was home.  She had a life to get back to.  She needed to settle in and I didn’t know where I fit in.

She’ll call you if she needs you.

As I made to leave the hospital, my phone rang.

Recognizing the number, I smiled into the receiver.  “Buddy, how was Italy?”

“What’s this about trying to break down my sister’s door?” Mike barked.

Oh shit!
  It had completely slipped from my mind to reassure Danica that I was fine.  I sighed.  “Name your place and time and I’ll tell you the whole story.”

“Mine and right the fuck now, Ben.”

“Give me twenty.  I’m just leaving the hospital.”

“The hospital? Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine.  I’ll explain when I get there.”

Mike and I have been best friends since our formative years.  He was the one person that knew everything about me, other than my parents.  Hell, we’d been through it all together: women, sports, business school, marriage, death… you name it.

So twenty-five minutes later, my knuckles were about to meet the wooden front door to my best friend’s home only to find the newly appointed Mrs. Withers opening it for me.  She crossed her arms at her chest and tapped her foot.  A grin broke out on my face.  She was a perfect match for Mike, and one hell of a person to spar with in a battle of wits.  The man would never be bored.

She smiled, then launched herself to give me a hug.  “Get in here!”

“How was your trip?”  I set her down on her feet.

“Great!  But you wouldn’t think my husband enjoyed it after he spoke with his sister.  What’s going on?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Mike said and I pulled away to find him leaning on the wall next to his wife with a serious look on his face.  “Beer?”

“Sure.” I ushered Nicole ahead of me, following them toward the kitchen.

Mike popped the top and set the bottle in front of me before taking a seat beside his wife, their drinks in hand.  “So, you managed to freak my little sister out,” he said.

I gave him a guilty look.  “I’m sorry I did.  Did she tell you anything?”

Mike shook his head.  “She said I needed to get it all from you.  Ben, she was pretty upset, so I know it’s big.  You could have called me, you know.”

“And ruin your honeymoon?”

“What the hell could ruin a honeymoon?” Nicole asked.

A snort escaped me.  “How about finding out that your wife had a whole other life?”

The look on Nicole’s face was one of complete shock, while Mike’s was a mask of blankness.

“She was having an affair, Mike.”  And I moved into story-telling mode.

By the time I was done, I was on my third beer and Nicole refused to let me leave until I had some food in me.

“How can you be so calm about this?” Nicole asked.  “What did her parents have to say?”

“I’ve had a little help getting over some of it,” I started.  “And I haven’t talked to Candace’s parents since before they dropped off the box.  I’ve been to see Mom and Dad, though.”

“How’d that go?” Nicole asked.

“Things are better with them.  I’m not saying I’m anywhere near over what’s happened, but Hannah-”

“Wait a minute, who’s Hannah?” Mike asked as he flipped the burgers on the barbecue.

“You guys know about the accident out by Dead Man’s Way, the night of your wedding, right?” I asked.

“You could hear the sirens for miles, so yeah,” Mike said.  “Wait a minute!  You were there?”

I nodded.  “I saw something and stopped to check it out.  It was bad.  There was a couple…”

“Are they okay?” Nicole asked.  “How does this Hannah fit into things?”

Once more, I explained Hannah’s story.  I felt the rolling emotions of anger about what Lee had done to her with his alcoholism, how she’d wanted me by her side, how her parents helped me understand that I needed my folks, all the way up until why I had been at the hospital when Mike had called.

The two sat there, baffled, and then Mike’s signature all-knowing grin made its appearance.

“Wipe that smirk off your face.  I know what you’re thinking.”

“What?” That mock innocence of his didn’t fool me.

Nicole giggled.  “You’ve got a thing for her.”

She was right.

“It doesn’t matter.  It’s too soon to start anything.”  Sighing, I continued.  “She needs time.  I need time.”

Nicole let out an unladylike snort.  “So what?”

“So what?” I repeated.

“Yeah, so what?  It seems to me that she was well out the door before the accident.”

“That doesn’t mean she’s over her idiot husband, Nicole.”

“It’s not-”

“She’s bitter about things.  Her emotions are all over the place, and I can’t blame her.  But-”

“But?” Nicole urged me.

“Would you let him speak, woman?” Mike said.

“But there’s something about the letter she left me at the hospital, that tells me…”  I sighed. “I don’t know.”  I ran my hands over my face.  “See for yourself.”  I took the letter out and handed it to Nicole.  “I know she loved her husband.  I mean, there’s no other reason as to why she’d want a family with him, or why she’d stuck around for as long as she did.”

“The decision to leave him couldn’t have been easy on her if she was pregnant,” Mike surmised.

I shook my head. “We’ve talked a lot about everything.  I know it wasn’t.”

“You know that she feels that same connection you do, right?” Nicole waved the page around, her eyes meeting mine.  Mike grabbed it from her and began to read it for himself.  “It’s not spelled out, but if you read between the lines-”

Mike cut his wife off.  “She definitely wants to see you again.”

“As friends.”  A subtlety of disappointment wormed its way into the pit of my stomach with my words.

Mike winked at his wife.  “Sure.”