To Forgive & Hold Safe (The Broken Men Chronicles Book 4) (11 page)

The road was dark and rough.  Karen had been crying non-stop for the last hour and it didn’t matter that we’d changed her diaper and fed her.  She wasn’t taking her soother, and it was clear that the car ride wasn’t working as it normally did.

Candace was beside herself with frustration, and to be honest, so was I.

We’d been arguing, which in my opinion was why Karen was so hysterical at the moment, sensing her parents’ joint frustrations.

My wife had been distant over the last month and I worried that she might be coming down with post-partum depression, despite her insisting that it wasn’t an issue.

“Sue me, Candy,” I said hotly.  “I care. I worry.  Am I not entitled to that as your husband?”

Apparently that hadn’t been the right choice of words.  She went off on another one of her tangents and all I wanted to do was get us home so I could put this latest squabble – this day – to rest.

After what must have been the tenth time of Candace leaning over the passenger seat to put Karen’s soother back in her mouth, she unbuckled herself and flung the seatbelt to the side, its buckle hitting the passenger-side window with a loud clunk. With her rising temper, her patience was at a loss.

I peered at her from the corner of my eye in annoyance because of her petty behavior.  Sometimes she could really rattle my nerves with her tantrums.

“Would you just give it up already?” I said.  “You know she’s just going to spit it out.”

“I need quiet.  I need to think, Benjamin.”

“What is there to think about?” I asked.  “Karen needs you at home.  We’re trying to get everything in order to open the damn bar!  I’ve been working on this deal for months.  I can’t do that for us and carry a baby with me all day long because Chris says he needs you in New York.  You agreed to take six months off and here you are, already working for the guy after two.”

“Ben-”

“No, Candace.  Had he called a week ago, maybe we could have worked something out.  I can’t reschedule these investor meetings, you know that.  Do you not want to do this anymore? You said it was your dream as much as it’s mine.”

“Ben…” Karen’s crying grew louder.  “Dammit, Karen!”

I took my eyes off the road and turned my fiery gaze at my wife, growling, “Don’t you dare take it out on her!”

“I’m going to New York, Ben,” she said.  “And we need to talk when I get back.”  She finished putting the soother back in Karen’s mouth and turned to face forward, not bothering with her seatbelt.

My eyes were still fused to my wife in shock at what she’d just announced, rather than anger.

“Ben…” she said. I heard her, but I wasn’t really listening.

What the hell is going on with her?
I was trying to figure out why this supposed talk needed to wait until her return.  Better yet, what could she possibly want to discuss?

“Ben…” Her tone seemed different now, but I was too busy juggling my thoughts.  I still hadn’t peeled my eyes off of her either.  “Ben, watch-!”

By the time she repeated my name a third time and I registered her panic, it was too late.

“Fuck!  Hold on!” I gripped the steering wheel, jerking it hard to the right.

I managed to avoid the oncoming vehicle, but when I veered back to the left to get back onto the road, the SUV hit a rut and we were sent careening into a culvert. Candace’s scream shrilled in my ears one second, then everything was dead silent the next.

“Ben,” I heard as everything faded away to black.  “Ben!  Wake up, it’s a nightmare.”

I sat up abruptly and took in my surroundings.  Hannah was sitting on the edge of the couch beside me, her hands cradling my face as I tried to catch my breath.

“Hannah,” I choked out.

“I’m here, Ben,” she said.  “Look at me.”

I did just that.  I grabbed her forearms and squeezed to assure myself that she was really there.

Through choppy breaths, I whispered, “She was going to leave me.  I remember now.”

“What do you mean?”

I explained, my voice finding a bit more strength.  “I remember why we were in the car.  I remember the crash, the look on Candace’s face, but for the life of me,” I swallowed, “I haven’t been able to remember what we were arguing about.  I think she was going to leave me.”

Hannah pulled me to her and wrapped her arms around me as I did the same with her.  Her hand moved in a soothing pattern while the other massaged the nape of my neck as she cooed soothing words into my ear.

After a few minutes, I felt lulled enough to let her go. 
How’d she do that?

The sides of our faces rubbed against the other as I backed away.  Her hands slid so she barely cradled my neck, but the skin-to-skin contact was still there.  She pressed her forehead to mine and rubbed the pads of her thumbs in a circular motion over my temples.  My eyes were fused to hers.

“Ben?” she whispered.

I kissed her.  And not like all of our other friendly pecks, either.  I went in hard.

Sliding my arms around her, I cradled her head with one hand, while the other pulled her into me, forcing her to straddle my waist.  Hannah’s purr of satisfaction fueled me further as her hands tangled themselves into my hair.

She held my head as I descended kisses onto her jaw, to her ear and down toward her collarbone.

“Don’t stop,” she begged in a breathless voice, and I pulled back to look at her face.

With a shy smile, she lifted her arms above her head.  My fingers played with the hem of her t-shirt and she nodded to encourage me further.  I lifted it over her head and groaned at the sight before me.

When my eyes were done taking her in, I looked into her eyes.  I didn’t see an ounce of hesitation or shyness.  I saw a woman who knew exactly what she was doing, what she wanted. That was a major turn-on.

“I’ve always known you were beautiful, but-” Before I could continue, her lips captured mine.

She kissed a trail down to my jaw and back up to my ear.  I hissed when she took its lobe between her teeth and gave it a light tug.  “I told you that you should have kept your shirt on.”

On a husky laugh, my palms glided over her back, reaching her shoulder-blades as my lips trailed down her collarbone.  When she arched back, I took advantage and began to kiss lower, toward the valley between those luscious mounds of hers.  She let her hands fall from my head and trailed them down over my shoulders until they halted on my biceps.

I nipped the tender skin that edged the lace of her bra, eliciting what I will testify as being the sexiest moan I had ever heard.  I pulled back and waited for her to look at me.

“Don’t stop!”

“Are you sure about this?” She nodded.  “Then we’re doing this right.”

Without another word, I picked her up, her legs wrapping around my waist, and carefully took the stairs that led us to my bedroom.

I laid her down and covered her body with mine.  She pulled away in shock when she realized that I was in nothing more than my boxers.

I shrugged my shoulders.  “I can’t sleep in clothes.”

She cupped one of my butt cheeks as a rebuttal, and smiled up at me. “I’m not about to complain.  The less, the better.  Now, hurry up and take my pants off.”

I laughed.  “Nope.” Her breath hitched.  “I think I’ll take my time.”

“Be careful.  You might be privy to the same treatment the next time around.”

“Next time?”

“I’m not going anywhere.”  She lifted her hands to pull my head down toward hers, her eyes ensnaring me.  “You need me, Ben.  And I need you.”

The taste of her was as sweet as her words.  I couldn’t get enough.

Delivering random kisses to her stomach, I peeled her jeans off.

“Don’t look at my legs,” she was quick to say.

I ignored her.  They were still mangled from the accident, but I didn’t give a shit about the scrapes, scabs and fresh scars.  She could have been covered in lacerations from head to toe and she’d still be beautiful to me.

In order to maintain her ease however, I made sure to move on.  I got to her underwear and ran my hand over her pelvis.  She arched into my hand.

I climbed my kisses back up and she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, while arching into my chest as I kissed her neck.  I took that opportunity to undo the catch to her bra, divesting her of it.

Straddling her hips, and leaning over to fetch a condom in my bedside table, Hannah thought it wise to have some fun of her own.  Her mouth and hands made contact with my abs, making the muscles tense and ripple beneath the feel of her.  Everywhere she touched set my skin to a slow burn.

I let her have her way for a short while, until her hands made a grab for my boxers to pull them off.

Stilling her hands, I said, “Not yet, sweetheart.” I shimmied down her torso to kneel between her legs.

“Why do you call me that?”

“You don’t like it?”

“I do, but-”

“It just seems fitting because it’s who you are to me.” I brushed the back of my fingers over her cheek.  “You’re sweet.  You’re beautiful inside and out.  You’re special.”

My lips met hers in a long drugging kiss before I headed for her underwear.  My fingers trailed over the damp spot that was there.  She drew a sharp breath when my knuckle made contact with her bud through the thin material.

In one swift pull, her underwear was gone and she was exposed.  I took the opportunity to push my boxers down and slide on the condom before I got down to business.

“Oh my God, Ben, no!” she said as my mouth made contact with her wet core.  I gave her slit a few licks before I sucked on her clit.  She moaned and writhed under me. “God, don’t stop!”

I laughed internally, having given myself a new challenge.  I was going to make this little spitfire beneath me find a new appreciation for what a mouth, teeth, and tongue could do.

I licked her slit with smooth long strokes, coaxing that little jewel of hers out more before wrapping my lips around it and sucking again.

“Ben!”

I added fingers to the mix, delving in one, and then adding a second digit, as I curled them to tap that sweet spot inside of her.  Her hips automatically lifted off the bed and into my face.

Perfect.

“Oh God, Ben!  Yes!  Don’t stop, please don’t stop!”

In the next moment, Hannah’s hands found my hair, and pulled as she screamed her release.

Without hesitation, I moved up her body, her hands locking behind my neck and bringing me straight to her mouth for a heated kiss.

I guided myself slowly inside her, plundering her mouth with my tongue, relishing the feel of her heated depth with my cock.  I could feel her contract around my shaft as her velvet softness convulsed with the remnants of her orgasm.

I withdrew from her slowly with a hiss.  “You’re so tight.”

“Deeper, Ben,” she panted.

And so I gave it all to her in one swift thrust.

To my surprise, the woman broke all over again, moaning her release into my neck.  I began to thrust, my balls already tightening up, making me slow my pace.  It’d been so long that there was no way I was going to last much longer.

When Hannah’s hips began to meet mine, I was a goner.  I pulled back to watch her face.  She graced me with a smile, her hands gliding up my chest as she lifted her head to kiss me.  Hannah sighed into my mouth.

No longer able to hold off, I exploded, sending her into a final tailspin.  Her arms clutched at my shoulders, while I brought us down from our carnal heights.  Her face was flush with a look of pure bliss, and I smiled knowing I had put that look there.

“Candace wouldn’t know a great lover if his dick hit her right between the eyes,” Hannah mumbled into my neck.

I exploded with laughter.

In the heat of the moment, it hadn’t occurred to me to dwell on the shortcomings that Candace had listed in her journals.

“Something told me you wouldn’t have believed her had she been the one to tell you herself,” I said.  I trailed kisses from Hannah’s shoulder toward her neck and enjoyed the feel of having her wrapped around me – her softness to my hardness – her fingertips running over the skin of my back, bringing forth goose-bumps.

Later in the night, when Hannah had fallen asleep at my side, I knew that what happened between us hadn’t been a mistake.  Had it been, we wouldn’t have gone for another round.  Had it been, I’m sure I would be feeling some kind of regret.

My mind was going a hundred miles an hour, and it all had to do with the night of my accident – the nightmare.  I’d had that dream so many times before, but why had those missing scenes played out now?

Had I been right about Candace wanting to leave me?  It sure seemed like it in the dream.

I knew where I’d find the answers to my questions.

Careful not to wake Hannah, I got out of bed, and went to grab the journals.  As I eased myself under the covers, she said, “What’s going on?”  Damn, she was cute in her sleepy daze.