To Have and To Hold (13 page)

“We make provisions to save food in an underground cel ar.” Dave glanced at Mary and smiled.

“Mary’s done a great job of making sure we’re prepared for anything, and better yet, she has a

way of seasoning foods so that her preserved foods taste as if she just cooked them.”

Pleased by his compliment, she blushed with pleasure, but then her gaze went to her mother

whose lips formed a thin line. Her mother didn’t make eye contact with her as she stood up to

help Grace take care of the rest of the dishes.

Calvin finished his coffee and stood up. “Perhaps we should retire to the parlor and talk more

there. I’d like to learn more about what you do.”

Dave stood with Mary and patted the smal of her back. She glanced at him, but he wasn’t

looking at her. She wondered why he patted her back. It seemed he was sending her a secret

message and she thought it might be in relation to her mother, but without talking to him, it was

hard to tel .

Since the men waited to fol ow her to the parlor, she led the way. Behind her, Dave was tel ing

Calvin about digging up the cel ar when he first got his land. As interested as Mary was in

relearning this, she couldn’t focus on what he was saying. She couldn’t help but think that

coming here real y was a big mistake, and she wished she had listened to her gut instinct when

it tried to warn her while she was in Nebraska.

Chapter Eleven

When it was final y time for bed, Mary set the kerosene lamp on the dresser and stared at the

place on the wal where a mirror should have been. So she asked to have the mirror removed

because she didn’t want to see her reflection in it. She didn’t mind looking at herself back

home. Maybe she wasn’t as pretty as some women, but she thought she looked just fine.

Dave closed the door behind him and let out a long sigh. “Today was a long one.” He went

over to her and kissed her. Brushing a stray strand of hair from her face, he smiled. “I’l be

honest. I’m glad my parents had a mind to go to Nebraska. I have no desire to live in this area

of the country.”

“I don’t either,” she admitted, thinking of the open land and wide blue sky. She missed sitting

on the porch in the middle of the day and sewing while her children played and seeing Dave pop

out of the fields or barn from time to time.

He sat down on the beds he’d joined together and pul ed off his boots.

She turned from the dresser and studied him in the dim light coming from the lamp. “We were

always happy together, weren’t we?”

His eyes grew wide. “Of course, we were.”

She relaxed. Good. She liked to think she and Dave were always happy together. As he

unbuttoned his shirt, she decided to press him further. “Was I always happy in Nebraska?”

“Yes.” He stopped unbuttoning his shirt and gave her a good look. “What’s this about?”

Shrugging, she walked over to the bed and sat next to him. “I’m not sure, exactly. It’s just that

I don’t think I was happy here. It seems I was happier once I went to Nebraska.”

With a smile, he reached for her hand and squeezed it. “Wel , I know I was happier when you

arrived there.”

“But you were happy before.”

“Yes, but you made things much better.” He leaned toward her and kissed her. “You are the

best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

After a moment, she asked, “You aren’t disappointed that I’m not as pretty as some women,

are you?”

He sighed and brought his arm around her shoulders. “I forgot how things were for you here,

how people made you feel about the way you look.”

“You knew what they thought of me?”

“Wel , I did, but it’s been so long since it’s even been a problem that I forgot al about it.”

“How was it a problem?”

He pul ed her closer to him and kissed the top of her head. “Wel , I recal you didn’t think you

were attractive. I thought you were, but you didn’t agree with me. It’s because of what some

people told you while you were growing up.”

Since Grace pretty much said the same thing, she nodded. “I don’t remember what people

said about me. Grace wouldn’t go into detail when I asked her.”

“I don’t know the details, Mary, and I don’t want to know them. None of what anyone said or

wil say about you wil change anything. You’re beautiful to me. That’s al that matters, isn’t it?”

She blinked back her tears, surprised by how much he loved her. They were, indeed, happy

together. “Yes, it is al that matters. You’re right.”

He brushed her cheek with his fingers, his touch a light caress across her skin. Her body

responded easily to him. It probably always had. “I wish I could remember more about the

day we met.”

“I think you wil . Just give it time.”

“Dave?” she whispered.

“Yes?”

She was almost afraid to ask what else was on her mind, but since he was answering her other

questions, then perhaps he’d answer this one. “What did you and my father talk about? Al my

father told me was that I’m happier now than I was when I lived here, and he’s glad I’m with

you.”

“Your pa told me how things were for you when you lived here. It wasn’t easy to hear.”

She straightened up so she could look at him. “Was it that bad?” Grace wouldn’t tel her much,

but maybe Dave would.

“I don’t want to think about it.”

She watched him in the soft light, gauging by the slight frown of his lips and furrowing of his

eyebrows that her past angered and hurt him at the same time. Sighing, she shrugged and

decided to let the matter go. Maybe if she was lucky, she’d never regain this part of her

memory.

As she stood up to get her nightshirt from the drawer, he softly said, “The problem with a lot of

people is that they either speak without thinking or they only like a person as long as they can

use them.”

She turned from the dresser, her nightshirt in hand, and studied the hard lines on his face. She

didn’t think he often looked like he was ready to fight someone. “I get the idea.” So that’s how

her life had been. People mocked her looks and took advantage of her. No wonder she was

miserable when she lived here. “I wish we weren’t staying for two weeks.”

“If I’d known, I don’t think I would have come at al . I thought this was going to be a good

experience for you. I’m afraid it won’t be.” When his eyes met hers, he continued, “You didn’t

say much about your life here. You just said you worked at the restaurant where people

couldn’t get enough of your pies, and you enjoyed taking walks through town.”

“Then the letters from Grace…?”

He shrugged. “Grace doesn’t write about the past. She just tel s you how she and her family

are doing. You write her the same things.”

She didn’t know what to say to that so she decided to get ready for bed. They’d stick it out for

the two weeks they would be here and then go back home where they would put this whole

thing behind them. By the time she slipped out of her undergarments, he had removed his

clothes and placed them on the chair in the corner of the room.

She turned the knob on the kerosene lamp until the room was dark except for the moonlight

that poured in through the open curtains at the window. She thought about drawing the curtains

so the room would be dark, but she liked knowing the same moon lighting up the sky here in

Maine was also in Nebraska so she opted to leave them open.

Before she put the nightshirt on, Dave came up to her and wrapped his arms around her. His

lips met hers, and the undeniable hunger in his kiss told her they’d be making love instead of

going to sleep right away. Her nightshirt fel softly to the floor as she wrapped her arms around

his neck. Her naked body molded into his, aware of his growing arousal. Something in his

desire for her made her recal how beautiful he’d made her feel every time they came together

when they were first married. She remembered thinking when they were together like this in

the dark, she could imagine she was attractive. Except, she knew she didn’t have to imagine

it. She real y was that way with him. Clinging to him, she deepened their kiss, longing for al

the shadows of her past in Maine to fade into the recesses of her mind where they belonged.

His lips left hers as he ran his hands down her back and cupped her bottom. His hands were

unusual y hungry, unusual y demanding. But she didn’t mind it. It was absolutely wonderful to

be coveted so passionately.

“I love you, Mary,” he murmured as he kissed her neck.

“I love you, too,” she replied, her body tingling with delight as his lips teased her earlobe.

He brought his hands up her back and then to her head where he cupped her face. His lips

returned to hers, and he brushed her tongue with his. The ache between her legs made her

moan with desire for his erection which pressed into her abdomen. She loved the feel of him

inside her. Not only did it feel good, but she felt complete with him when they were intimately

connected that way.

He deepened the kiss, his tongue sweeping across her mouth. Intoxicated, she responded to

his intimate exploration of her mouth by exploring his. At the moment, there was no one else

who existed. It was just the two of them, and she got a glimpse of a time when they’d made

love in the river that wound through their property. No one had existed for her at that time,

either. She recal ed feeling complete back then, knowing her husband desired her.

She’d felt incredibly lovely when he made love to her when they first married. A link to how

she’d felt about herself back then was returning to her, and she knew it stemmed from her

experience while growing up. She began to understand why she requested that the mirror be

removed from her bedroom. She hadn’t liked what she saw when she looked at her reflection,

believing that when she saw herself, she saw the same undesirable woman who would never

be loved by a man.

But she was loved. Dave found in her something lovely to adore, and it made al the years

she’d felt unworthy of love fade into the shadows of her past until she could look at herself in

the mirror and find a woman worth looking at. She now understood how much he’d done for

her when she first married him. And it made her love him al the more.

When he ended the kiss, he took her hand in his and led her to the bed. She settled onto it and

waited for him to join her before she brought her lips back to his.

He brought her into his embrace and rol ed onto his back so she was on top of him. She

straddled him and, with her sensitive nub demanding to be stroked, rubbed herself along his

erection. Breathless, she ended the kiss and straightened her back so that she could move her

hips to heighten her pleasure. He whispered his encouragement, so she continued. Closing her

eyes, she focused on the way her body felt against his.

He cupped her breasts in his hands and moaned, his hips moving in rhythm to help her achieve

her climax, and it didn’t take long before she reached her peak. She stil ed and let out a soft

cry as her orgasm crashed into her, each wave of pleasure less intense than the first. When

she was satisfied, she took him inside her and bit her lower lip in appreciation for how

wonderful he felt as he fil ed her core.

He brought his hands to her hips and guided her movements as he thrust deeper inside her.

Her tender flesh squeezed him, pul ing him further in, and the sensation made her gasp in

pleasure. They worked together in unison, aiming for the same goal, and to her surprise,

another orgasm overtook her. His impatient thrusting only served to prolong her climax, and

just as she began to relax once more, his body tensed and he moaned as he reached his own

peak. She focused on him then, enjoying the way he throbbed inside her, his seed fil ing her.

She loved this moment the most, loved knowing he had received pleasure from her body and

found completion in her.

Once she felt him relax, she leaned forward and kissed him again. This time when he returned

her kiss, his mouth and hands weren’t demanding. His hands caressed her back, and his

tongue lightly brushed hers. They continued to hold and kiss each other for a couple more

minutes, neither one in a hurry to return to the world where other people existed.

“Oh Mary,” he whispered as he brushed her hair from her shoulder. “You’re so wonderful.”

She smiled and traced his jaw with her fingers. “I’m glad you were there that day at the train