To Love a Man (29 page)

“Nothing I just wanna be alone right now.”

“Baby talk to me! What’s going on?”

“You wanna know?”

“Of course I wanna know.”

He pulled himself up with his right arm his left in a freshly set cast.

“I have been in the NBA since I was 18. That’s over ten years. I have worked so hard for this day. I worked so hard to make it to the playoffs. And now we get down to the last minute in the last quarter of the last game and I go down hard. I almost cost us the game. I didn’t get to stand up with my team I didn’t get to hold that trophy above my head. I didn’t get to feel the feeling I have been praying to feel since I was a little boy.”

Desiree caressed his head,
“It was an accident.”

He jerked away from her angrily. “An accident that cost me a lot,
I worked so hard this season. I have improved my stats I have set records and the one thing I really wanted I couldn’t get. So excuse me for being pissed off.”

“Why are you getting mad at me?”

“I don't know maybe because from the first game I have played as your fiancée I wanted to play hard for you and tonight was no exception to the rule. I played hard because I wanted to impress you. And now look at me.”

Desiree stood and glanced at him tears filled her eyes.
“You’re blaming me for you getting hurt? Seriously after everything I have been through for you?”

“What?
” he yelled. “What have you been through? Oh I'm so sorry you had to leave that crappy apartment quit a job you hated and move into my mansion and spend all my money. That must have been so hard for you.”

She backed
further away from the bed hurt at his words.

“What?”

“Desiree what don’t you understand I have been working so hard trying to build up my career and what have you been doing? Living off of me. You and your son have a free ride so I would think if I want a damn minute to myself you would give me that much.”

Desiree stared at him for a minute allowing her tears to fall freely. She wiped them away and moved closer to him. She was done being understanding and caring she was done being
the nice one now it was on. “You know what forgive me for caring about what happens to you.” She said matching his tone. “I would think you would understand what I am going through how I am feeling. How I felt when I saw you lying on that floor? When I saw they had to help you up! And as for living in your house forgive me for thinking you really wanted to be with me. That my son and I meant something to you. I didn’t want to give up all of the things that made me, me but I did it for you and look at what I get an ungrateful excuse for a fiancée who is still talking to his ex.” She walked to the door. “I can deal with the media and articles. I can deal with the wet towels on the floor and empty cartons that you put back in the fridge and I can even deal with the fact that no matter how I feel about Kim she is not going anywhere. But you being like this I won’t deal with.”

“Desi wait. I'm sorry.”

“No Ramón I am sorry that I believed you loved me. I didn’t know my son and I were such an inconvenience. We won’t be anymore.”

Desiree turned away from him and walked out the room. She looked at Rachael
begging the new forming tears to wait until she was out of the hospital to start falling.

“
He’s ready to see you guys.”

“Desi what's wrong?”

“Nothing I just need some air.”

She forced a smile as she passed his teammates. They looked so happy holding the trophy up in the air as they walked into his room. Desiree walked out to the parking lot as Aj walked after her.

“I am sorry for what I said if that’s why you’re mad.”

“I
can’t do this.”

“
Do what?”

Desiree turned to him
“he made me feel so stupid in there. All I wanted to do was console him and he lashes out at me. Telling me I don't know what he’s been through how I'm living off him and spending all his money.”

“He didn’t mean any of that Desiree you have to know that.”

“What I know is I am not going to deal with this. You go tell your friend I’m moving out.”

“Don’t. Desiree he needs you. Don’t walk out on him.”

“I went through this before with Charles I will not do this again.”

“He loves you so much it's just when he gets hurt he turns into a jerk.”

“I don't care. He was wrong.”

“And he knows it.”

“Aj just leave me alone. I have nothing to say to you or him.”

Desiree
turned her head and walked away. She didn’t want Aj to see her cry. She walked into the house and wondered around. She knew it wasn’t right to just pack up and leave but she wasn’t sure she liked where the situation was going.

***

Ramón felt better than he had in days. Desiree was still mad at him and he knew it. He thanked God she didn’t leave like Aj thought she would. Ramón walked into the room and sat on the bed next to Desiree. She was writing in her laptop. Ramón loved how she looked so content writing.

“Hey babe.”

“Hey.”

“Come on it's been two weeks will you stop being mad?”
Ramón lifted her face to his but she pulled away, she didn’t want his sorry's.

“Ramón I really just don't wanna talk about this.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Didn’t you? All I wanted was to help you and you made me feel so bad.”

“I'm sorry.”

“
Yeah.”

She continued to write.
He moved behind her.

“Can I read what you’re writing?”

She shrugged and moved to the side. He bent down to read.

“
Empty promises, broken dreams, unfulfilled wishes torn at the seams, unspeakable bond, unspoken words, uninspired love that had no worth. Shadowy figures, cast down on my side, afraid to speak up so instead you hide. No one looks, for you can’t see, the one you hurt is only me.”

He exhaled and looked at her.

“Wow. Your words are…wow. I made you feel this bad.”

She placed her laptop on the bed and stood up.

“I don't want to be in a relationship where I feel bad about being me. I am going to be out of your hair soon.”

“I don't want you to leave. I want you to be my wife. I know I messed up I was just angry.”

“So you take your anger out on me.”

Ramón stood and walked over to her
, he removed her hair out of her eyes.

“I have worked so hard to make it this far and it was just taken from me.”

“And that is somehow my fault? I have been cheering my ass off for you every single home game and some away games.”

“I know. Baby it was just easier to take it out on you then it was to face the fact that my career might be over.”

“It’s just an injury.”

“A big part of who I am involves my hands. I have worked so hard on being careful and wanting to make a career out of playing and now look at me.”

“You should be happy.”

He threw his hands up.
“Happy? About what? I am hurt I can’t play.”

“Be happy that you played all season. Be happy that you only missed a minute of the game. Be happy that the end of the season is here and you have a couple of months to get yourself together. Be happy that it’s not the beginning or middle of the season.”

Ramón lifted his hands in protest.

“Ok! Ok I get it.”

“Do you? Do you get it? Because I don't think you do.”

Ramón sat down and rubbed his hands together
gently as to not move the cast.

“What don't I get Desiree?”

“That this is a team effort. Not a one man show! Being on that team you couldn’t have gotten to the finals without your teammates and you can’t be with me and handle things alone. You asked me to marry you. You wanted me to be your wife.

“I did and I still do.”

“Then act like it.”

“I thought I was.”

“How were you acting like that? When you accused me of making you a failure? When you told me I had no say in your daughter’s life? When you hang around Kim? You can’t act like that to me. You can’t treat me like I am not a part of this because I am a huge part. If we are going to make this work then we need to do this together.”

“Ok I get it.”

Ramón stood, walked over to her and pulled her to him but she pulled away. He held her closer to him.

“Stop being like that ok I love you.”

“Do you because one minute I am defending myself to your best friend and then next you treat me like all this was my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong here all I did was love you and you see where that got me.”

He turned her to face him.

“Baby I love you. From the moment we first met you have been on my mind.”

“You mean from the time we slept together?”

“No I mean the moment we first met. At church. You smiled at me and then yelled at me.”

“That day was a crazy day anyways.”

“Why?”

She sighed sitting on the bed.

“Because all those things you wanted me to feel…I did feel I was nervous and excited but I refused to be one of those women who screamed for a man. Famous or not.”

“I know you’re not that kind of woman.”

“Then why wouldn’t you treat me like that.”

“Because I am new at this. Any girl I would have dated would not be as supportive or as caring and I know that.”

He kissed her neck.

“I am so in love with you. If I wasn’t then I wouldn’t be here begging you to forgive me.”

He pulled her lips to his and Desiree had no choice but to allow him to take them. She missed him. She wrapped her arms around him. She wanted him and needed him. It had been too long since he held her. She stood and pushed him backwards.

“Since you are still in a cast I think maybe I can do the work for you.”

“Oh I like that.”

“I said maybe.”

“Oh and what do I have to do?”

“Promise me something.”

“Anything.”

She looked into his eyes.
“Promise me that you are not gonna give up and you will work as hard as you can to get back next season.”

“I promise.”

He kissed her and pulled her close to him. She wrapped her arms around him.

“Now let’s have some fun.”

***

Desiree walked into the house threw her keys on the table and plopped down on the couch. Ramón walked down the stairs and smiled.

“Hey beautiful busy day?”

“Busy? Well that depends on what you think busy is. I took Maddie to her doctor appointment and Zack to the dentist. Then I had to take them to Ballet and Karate and while they were there I ordered those cufflinks you wanted for your award ceremony next month and put in the order for my and Maddie
's dress. Then went to pick the kids up and dropped them off at your moms. She is gonna call me when they are ready to come home.”

She looked up to him and noticed he was wearing a pair of white dress slacks and lavender buttoned down collared shirt.

“Well aren’t you dressed up?”

“You like?”

“Yeah you look handsome. So where are you going.”

“We have plans tonight.”

“Plans? No we don't I am tired and I have to study. I gotta pick up the kids and.”

He lifted a finger to her lips.
“No I don't wanna hear any of that. There are no buts tonight except yours walking up those stairs and getting dressed.”

“I can’t.”

“You can.”

“So we are really going out?”

“Yes so go get ready and wear something formal.”

“Formal? So where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Desiree’s face lit up.

“A surprise really?”

“Yes now go get dressed or we will be late.”

Desiree ran up the stairs with a smile on her face. Forty five minutes later she was down stairs. Ramón walked over to her and smiled.

“You look beautiful.”

She wore a floor length white gown. Around the neck line was a gold sequin trim. She wore gold open toed shoes and her hair was pinned up with curls.

“Thank you. So where are we going?”

“I told you it's a surprise.”

“
So it's really you and me?”

“Yes baby.”

She grabbed her clutch and walked to the door. She held out her hand.

“Keys.”

“What?”

“Ramón give me the keys.”