To Love a Man (38 page)

“You make me sick I can’t even look at you.” She spat.

Shane went to her, towering over her 5’5 height with his strong tall body.

“Baby let me explain what happened. Please.” He begged, praying she would hear him out.

She pulled away from him gathered some distance from him. She couldn’t believe what was going on and all she wanted to do was leave and figure things out on her own. She needed to make sense of this away from him away from the sight of the man who betrayed her in such a un original way. The knight in shining armor who used to fill her heart with hope for the future took off his mask to reveal he was no different than the dogs in the pound. He would hump anything he could get his hands on.

“EXPLAIN!” she screamed at him. “What is there to explain you cheated on me? Our Marriage Vows mean nothing.”

“It wasn’t like that. I went to her house to talk that is it. She came on to me.”

“You went to talk?” she folded her hands across her chest. “About what?” she spoke calmly which put Shane on edge; he felt this conversation was a trap but he had to take a chance. “I just wanted to make sense of all this. Of us and what was going on.”

“And of all people you turn to your ex?” she laughed. “For a very intelligent man you are just a dummy.”

“I wasn’t thinking!” he volleyed back to her.

She shook her head begging the tears to stop falling.

“I told you she was trouble. She’s your ex! The stupid slut was just waiting for another chance to get with you and you just gave in didn’t you?”

“Baby if you would just listen to me.”

She closed the distance she just made between them and shoved him.

“Didn’t you!”

She shoved him again but he grabbed her hands between him pulling her close to him.

“Yes ok and I'm sorry. She said she needed to check her messages when she came back she had nothing on. I wanted to stop but I couldn’t.”

Scarlett struggled to get free. “You could you just didn’t want to.”

She pushed Shane off of her and wiped her eyes looking at him.

“I thought you were the one.”

“I am the one.”

“No you’re not. The man I met was so sweet and caring and I just wanted to be happy with you. But I was so wrong.”

“Scarlett baby please.”

She turned away from him looking at the ground.

“I am gonna go. I gotta pick Angel up from my moms.”

“Are you coming back?” he asked moving closer to her.

“No I’m not.”

“I love you. I really do and being with her just confirmed that.”

She turned towards him and couldn’t stop the laugh that left her lips.

“Let me get this straight sleeping with her confirmed that you loved me? How in the hell can you ask someone to marry you and you don’t know if you love them or not? Two years of marriage didn’t do that?”

“Please just give me a chance. Let me make it up to you…I want you and only you.”

“You had me.” She spat as she Shane moved angrily closer to her.

“No I had part of you. You never gave yourself to me like she did. I wanted to show you a better way to love but you refused me.”

“I told you in the beginning that I have been through a lot. It was hard for me to even tell you everything I went through but I did.”

“Yeah and I respected that. I never pressured you to do anything. But you could be mean and moody. I couldn’t do anything right. Between you being here and taking care of your mom, you never took care of me. Hell you wouldn’t even let me get that close to Angel.”

She turned towards him holding herself. “I gave you my heart. I gave you my soul I loved you and you did this just because I wouldn’t be here for you. My mom has Breast Cancer do you understand that my mother needed me. And for the record Angel is my daughter not ours.”

Shane threw his hands in the air exhaling angrily.

“Exactly! She is your daughter but I loved her like my own why was that was never good enough. You know that I wanted to adopt her. Hell she spends more time with your mom then here.”

“She is in school and she helps Maggie and Devon and more importantly she makes my mom happy. It was what was best for her.”

He grabbed her arm forcefully
. “No! It was what was best for you so you would have an excuse to drive home a get away from me.”

Scarlett pulled her arm away from him. “I am not doing this I gotta go.”

“Talk to me Scarlett.”

“No.”

Scarlett wiped her eyes and took her keys out of her purse. As she walked to the door Shane grabbed her.

“Scarlett please don’t do this.”

She whipped her hand across his face pushing him from her. “You did it. Not me! You had sex with Miranda or are you calling it making love?”

“I don’t love her I love you. Please give me a chance to prove that to you. ”

“No Shane.”

Shane pulled her into a kiss. She pulled away and slapped him hard dead in his face again.
She pointed her index finger at him.

“You don’t have the right to kiss me. Not anymore.”

“I love you Scarlett. I do. I know I messed up. But at least I told you. Not like some of those other guys who would have just let you believe they were faithful.”

“Yeah and I love you too…But I told you from the start I am very serious about my life and who I am with and the first time your unfaithful I am leaving. I have to go.”

Scarlett took the rings off her finger and held them out for Shane. He turned his head so she placed them on the coffee table. Then she walked closer to the door with tears streaming down her face. Shane blocked her exit.

“Why are you doing this? Just let me prove to you that this can work.”

“I can’t trust you Shane.”

She pushed him away from her.

“How could you do this to me? To us?”

“
Why are you running from me? Every time we get close to a breakthrough in our marriage you back away.”

“Oh so cheating on me was a breakthrough in our marriage?”

“In a weird way yes, I may have done wrong but I have never been so sure of my feeling for us.”

I
can’t hear this.”

“Scar I love you I really do.”

She looked at him fighting back tears.

“Shane we are not gonna do this. I am done with this ok I am done with you.”

“Well I am not done with you. I need this to work. So talk to me please I know we can work this out.”

“Move!”

“No.”

Shane stood his ground and he and Scarlett were in a stand still. He had loved Scarlett from the moment he first met her. Shane always knew there was something special about Scarlett. From the moment he saw her there was something about her that spoke to his soul and he always got what he wanted. He knew that sleeping with Miranda was wrong but he was weak. Just looking into Scarlett’s tear soaked eyes was punishment enough. Scarlett wiped her eyes.

“Don’t make me do this please. Just move.”

“No if you want me to move then you are gonna have to make me.”  

Scarlett stared at him. Why did he have to hurt her? Why did all men have to hurt her? Tears filled her eyes and gladly slid down her face. Time seemed to stand still as they stared at each other both wondering what the other was thinking. Shane praying she would just stay and Scarlett thinking of all the men who hurt her. All the men who used her and realizing that Shane was now one of those men.

“Shane right now I think it's best if you just move to the side.”

“Scarlett I love you. I need you. You and I belong together can’t you see that?”

“Move.” She said in more of a low growl then whisper.

“You are gonna have to make me.” Shane said putting his foot down.

Scarlett didn't want to hurt him. Even though he broke her heart, she still loved him. But she knew he wouldn’t move. He would continue to stand there until she changed her mind. He was just as stubborn as she was. Shane folded his hands across his chest and Scarlett wiped her tears knowing what she had to do. She stomped on his left foot and kicked him in his right knee. He hobbled out the way. She walked to her car barley aware of her surroundings. She sat in her car turned started it.

She wanted to cry but she couldn’t hold it in. She put her favorite CD in and pressed 7. Shane always thought she was crazy for her method of healing. But it's the only way Scarlett knew. She turned the volume up and locked her doors. As “I won’t Cry” by Profyle came on she felt the heaviness of her heart become too much and she began to cry. She loved Shane. They had been together for fifteen months and she thought they were moving in the right direction. When he asked her to marry him, she thought things were finally going to be normal for the first time in her life.

Scarlett grew up the second oldest in her family. Her mom kicked her dad out when she was a teen. He was an addict with no morals and a low down dirty man. Her mom Genie raised four children with no help from him after that. Scarlett never had extra money to spend on things she wanted but didn’t need but she was happy. When she was accepted to a University outside of her hometown she didn’t want to go but her mother thought it was a great chance for a new start. When her mom became sick, Scarlett had to take care of the family. Derek was already gone and into his own mess following the
footsteps of their father and Scarlett didn’t want him taking care of them so she felt she should sacrifice for her family.

Her mother had Breast Cancer it all hit them out of the blue and Scarlett new she needed to do everything she could to make everything better for her mother. Once she went into remission, Genie urged Scarlett to go to school. And even though she had no money and had to take out loans, she was excited that she could go. That is when she met Shane Bryant. She couldn’t believe someone as handsome and smart as he could want to be with her.

He was in his last year of law school with his life going the way he always planned. He had no interest in being with just one woman. He prided himself on being with as many women as he could get. When he met Scarlett, she took him for a loop. She was stubborn and hardheaded, but she was beautiful to him and the moment she opened her mouth he wanted to get to know her. He had no idea that meeting her would change him forever.

He stood at 6’2 light skinned but darker than her golden yellow complexion. He had light green eyes that melted Scarlett’s soul when he looked into hers. After a month of him, casually showing up to her job as an assistant for Dr. Miles the legal department head, she finally agreed to go out with him.

As Scarlett brought her thoughts back to reality, she was overtaken by sadness again. She thought back to that man she fell in live with. To the man who astounded her. His mind was sharp and his body was that of an Adonis, the few times a month they made love she was never disappointed. His smile would make her day even if she was in a funk. He was a sweet man who made her feel like she was the most important woman in the world. Now three and a half years later she was sitting in her car crying over him. He broke her heart and she could never get over that.

Starting Over

Two years later...

Scarlett stood outside the 25-story building and felt a knot in her stomach. She was so nervous. She glanced back down to the paper and saw her meeting was on the 24
th
floor. She had an interview in the psychology department. She was interviewing to be their secretary, a job she knew she was good at. Scarlett walked into the building. She noticed the information booth and a woman filing her nails flirting with a deliveryman.

Scarlett exhaled deeply as she walked over to the elevator. She glanced around as she smoothed down her skirt then dug in her purse for a lifesaver mint. She sucked on it and glanced at the people who were walking in and out of the building at fast paces, trying to calm her nerves. When the elevator doors opened, she stepped in and wiped the sweat from her hands onto her skirt. She pushed the button for the 24
th
floor and heard a deep tenor male voice calling to her.

“Hold the elevator…please.”

She reached and held the doors open button and stepped back as he stepped in. Her eyes felt like they were going to pop out of her head. There in front of her was one of the sexiest men she had ever seen in her life. He was tall dark and handsome. As she looked him up and down she knew he had to be about 6’3.

She loved how you could look at him and tell that he had a body and he was gorgeous. He was a mocha completion with dimples that shone while he smiled. His teeth were strait and white and his hair cut really short and tapered. He had the eyes of a man who knew how to turn a woman on with one look; they were dark brown and hypnotic.

His high cheek bones were well defined, and manly, with a thin goatee that covered a strong jaw line and sexy chin that complete his look. As he stood next to her all she could think was this man smelled oh so good. He was wearing a pinstriped Black suit, with a light purple shirt and dark purple tie. On some men that would look horrible but this man could pull it off very well. The man glanced down to her and she melted.