To Love and Heal (The Power of Love Series) (6 page)

"Oh,
definitely.  He was very outgoing and always had some wisecrack on the tip
of his tongue.  Just a lot of fun to be around – the kind of guy who
seemed like he didn't have a care in the world."

"Not so
anymore," Anna said quietly, almost to herself.

"Don't get me
wrong – even before the war, Caleb took his Marine training seriously and was
no-nonsense when it came to being the best of the best as a helicopter
pilot.  He's always been very responsible, but the part of him that could
compartmentalize everything and turn off the serious demeanor when it came time
to just letting loose and having fun – that seemed to die with that damn war."

The bitterness
that clung to Charlene's final two words caught Anna by surprise, and she
turned to Charlene quizzically.

"Sorry,"
Charlene said sheepishly.

"Don't
be."

"It's just
that … I mean, I'm far from a political soap boxer and if it weren't for Caleb
and some of his fellow soldiers that I've met, I probably wouldn't have much of
an opinion one way or another.  But sometimes I just wonder if the ends
justify the means. I don't know if Caleb ever mentioned his friend Sean, but he
lost both legs to a roadside bomb and he's only twenty-three.  I just
can't fathom …" 

"I
know," Anna quietly offered as Charlene's voice trailed off. Squinting in
the blazing sun, Anna visually sized up Caleb's very strong and capable body,
feeling almost ill within her own knowing that he could have returned in the
same life-altering physical condition.  She closed her eyes, nearly
overwhelmed with an urge to run over and throw her arms around Caleb, hugging
him with every fiber of her being and promising never to let him go. 
Realizing the foolishness of her imagined embrace – and no doubt the
unreciprocated feelings behind it – she opened her eyes just as Caleb latched
onto them with his own, an unexpected yet almost knowing look shared between
them that made her question her earlier conclusion about the one-sidedness of
her feelings.

"I think this
job and the overall change of scenery has finally given him a sense of
normalcy," Charlene said.

"It makes me
feel good knowing that might be the case.  I was worried that he might not
get better without some kind of counseling, but he does seem a lot more at ease
now."

"I know –
Chuck and I talked to him about seeing someone who specialized in
post-traumatic stress disorder, but he wouldn't hear of it."

Anna smiled,
though a brief sadness flashed in her eyes.  "Oh, I can picture
that."

Her thoughts were
instantly sidelined as a beach ball bounced off the back of her head. The
lightweight ball made for a painless collision, but it still startled her
nonetheless.

"George!"
Charlene chided as her six-year-old mop-haired son ran over to retrieve the
ball.  "What did I tell you about being careful if you were bringing
that today?"

"No
worries," Anna insisted with a laugh as she saw George's toothy smile melt
with remorse. "I'm sure the wind just took it," she said with a wink,
though it was clear not a blade of parched grass had rippled under the stifling
sun since the day began.

"Damn, I wish
I were a burger right now," Tina purred as she suddenly appeared beside
Anna and Charlene.  Anna traced Tina's line of vision to Caleb, who had
just taken a bite of a burger and dabbed it is juicy remnants at the corner of
his mouth.

Anna shook her
head and laughed.  "Tina, meet Caleb's sister-in-law, Charlene."

Tina's mesmerized
stare quickly turned wide-eyed with horror.  "Oh, I didn't
realize…"

Charlene laughed
easily. "Nice to meet you."

"Same
here.  And, um, sorry about that. I skipped breakfast and the thought of
food–"

"Yeah,
right!" Anna interjected as the three women laughed some more.

 "Your
place is looking good," Anna's father said as he joined the trio with
Anna's mother close behind.

"Thanks,
Dad," she replied as he leaned in for a hug.

"My
turn," her mother said as she gently followed suit.

"You should
tell Caleb that," Anna said to her father mid-hug as she looked over her
mother's shoulder.  "I'm sure he'd be glad to hear that."

"Already
did.  Seems like a straightforward guy who's got his act together, not
like a lot of young men these days."

"Don't you
know," Anna's mother said with a teasing elbow to her husband's
ribs.  "They broke the mold of greatness when your dad was born, and
no man is ever going to measure up the same way."

Her father rolled
his eyes, but smiled nonetheless.  "Well, I
am
a hard act to
follow," he said with a wink.

Anna
grinned.  "You sure are, Dad."

It was almost
comforting to see the easy banter between her parents after forty years of
marriage, and she couldn't help but wonder if a true lifelong partner would
ever be in the cards for her.  Though she resisted the urge to look over
at Caleb, her thoughts nevertheless still drifted to him.  But the subject
of her attention was closer than she realized.

"Here you
go," Caleb said as he suddenly appeared at her side with a plate in his
hand.  "One cardboard soy burger, hold the flavor."

"Very
funny," Anna replied as she took the plate and pretended to inspect the
burger before voicing her approval.  "Looks good."

"Looks to me
more like the sheetrock I was hanging yesterday," Caleb teased with a
glint in his eye.

Anna played along.
"You're obviously not evolved enough to understand the significance of a
vegetarian diet."

"Don't let
him fool you," Chuck called out from behind the grill. "He actually
tried one a few minutes ago and said it wasn't half bad."

"Busted!"
Charlene yelled as Anna playfully poked him in the arm with a plastic fork.

"Real
nice," she said, shaking her head with a reluctant grin. It was an easy,
playful exchange that seemed to set the tone for the rest of the afternoon as
conversation and laughter flowed naturally amongst everyone as if they had all
known each other for years.

By 5 p.m., clouds
were beginning to converge overhead, filtering out the hazy sun for a welcome
reprieve from the heat.

"I'd better
put the cover down on the grill," Caleb said as he rose from his lawn
chair beside Anna. As a feeling of domestic tranquility settled over her, Anna
was forced to remind herself what was real.  She closed her eyes, knowing
she was becoming far too comfortable with a situation that in reality was
little more than a friendly working arrangement.  Suddenly, a series of
loud explosive pops prompted her eyes to snap open.

"Awesome –
look!" George squealed as he pointed to a purplish pink streak that burst
into tiny balls of light cascading over the treetops.

"That must be
fireworks from Granite Park," Anna's father said as all eyes scanned the
horizon in anticipation of more.

Almost
instinctively, Anna looked away from the skyline and turned towards
Caleb.  He was halfway to the grill, yet something about the scene gnawed
at her stomach.  Her smile vanished as she realized he was frozen in
mid-step, his arms rigid at his side and his head facing down. Not wanting to
call attention to her concern, Anna quietly walked over and softly called out his
name when she was several feet behind him. 

"Caleb, are
you okay?"

His tremoring
body, still locked into the ground, spoke volumes. Circling in front of him,
Anna was met with a lifeless stare that looked straight past her.

"Caleb …
Caleb, look at me," she urged as her voice grew louder.

Rivulets of sweat
rolled down his face, yet it was as if he had departed his body.

"Caleb!"
Anna exclaimed in her sternest voice yet, hoping it would jolt him back into
reality.  Like a decommissioned robot that had suddenly been reactivated,
Caleb gasped for air as his head jerked up, his eyes wide in primal mode as he
grabbed Anna with both arms and tossed her to the ground like a sack of
potatoes.  The sheer strength behind his actions had catapulted her
several feet away, and she dug her nails into the dirt as she struggled to
regain the wind that had been pummeled out of her on the hard landing.

"What the
hell is wrong with you?" Anna's father barked fiercely as he ran towards
her with Chuck close at his heels.

Catching a glimpse
of Caleb's dazed and ashen face, Anna clutched her stomach in an attempt to
squeeze out several labored words.  "Dad … please, no!"

"Anna, are
you okay?" Chuck asked as he extended his hand, his face strained with the
gravity of the situation.

She nodded.
"Go help him," she said as he pulled her up from the ground.

Chuck's eyes
briefly met with her father's before looking away as he quickened his step
towards Caleb.  "Come on, let's go where it's quiet," he said
gently as he wrapped his arm protectively around his brother.

"Why did he
do this?" Anna's mother asked as the rest of the group caught up, her eyes
pleading for an answer that would somehow make sense. "Did you say
something that upset him?"

Anna shook her
head.  "It's the fireworks – he was having some kind of
flashback."

"I don't
understand …"

"It's from
the war," Charlene explained.  "I don't know how much Anna's
told you, but Caleb recently came back from his third tour of duty in
Afghanistan."

Anna's father
turned to her.  "I recall you telling me he had been in the war, but
I didn't realize it affected him this way."

"It's
affected a lot of soldiers this way," Tina said in an uncharacteristic
display of somber seriousness.  "I was just reading about the record
number of post-traumatic stress disorder cases from the Afghanistan and Iraq
Wars – some of the soldiers are even committing suicide when they return
because they're so tormented inside.

"Look, I
understand it's not his fault," Anna's father conceded, "but I don't
know that he's safe to be around. I realize you don't think he would
deliberately hurt you, Anna, but it's what he's capable of doing when he's
having one of these flashbacks again."

"I'll be okay
– I'm not worried."

Anna's mother
gently touched her arm.  "Maybe your father's right.  Maybe you
should
be worried.  I've read about this sort of thing, too, and these
flashbacks can be triggered by just a sound or a smell, and they don't have any
control over their actions when they're in that state."

"Caleb needs
to get help for this – it's that simple," Charlene said. "Chuck and I
have been telling him that, and after what happened today, maybe he'll realize
how serious this is.  I've known Caleb for a long time and putting his
hands on a woman – or showing any kind of disrespect – is just not who he
is."

"He's lucky
to have family like you," Anna's father said.  "And the sooner
he gets help, the better.  I don't know that being here is going to do him
any good−"

"He's not
going anywhere," Anna interjected defiantly, feeling momentarily like a
little girl rebelling against her father. "It was a once-a-year situation
– I should have realized that fireworks would sound just like being on a
battlefield."

"How could
you know?" Charlene offered sympathetically.  "I think this is
something that's new to all of us."

Chuck emerged from
the guesthouse, his face no less tense than when he had entered it earlier with
Caleb.

"How is
he?" Anna asked eagerly.

"He's
resting.  It's like this whole episode totally drained him and he's
grasping at what happened.  Anna, he's absolutely devastated about what he
did.  He said one moment he remembers walking to the grill and feeling
happy and relaxed, and the next thing he knew, it was like he woke up in the
midst of a firefight in Afghanistan. He said he never actually saw you – it was
like looking through dense smoke and he lunged at what he thought was an enemy
soldier."

Anna's mother
shook her head.  "That poor boy."

"I feel the
same," Chuck said, "but believe me when I say that pity is the last
thing Caleb wants. He's mortified that he shoved Anna and didn't even realize
what he was doing, and he thinks everyone is looking at him like a monster
now."

Anna's father
sighed.  "I don't think any of us can put ourselves in his shoes and
judge.  I lost my best friend to the Vietnam War, and all I know is that
if he had lived, he would have never been the same – that's how drastically he
changed. "

"He died in
battle?" Chuck asked.

"No, he
overdosed on heroin within a month of his return.  He was a broken man –
and this at all of twenty-one-years old.  Never touched a drug in his life
before the war. When he came back – skin and bones and with a constant look of
… I don't even know what I would call it, almost like terror and lifelessness
combined – I knew he was heading down a road of no return. I tried to help him
but it was like he had already given up. I asked him how he could poison
himself day after day …"  He paused, looking up at the sky with
reddened eyes, a scene that brought tears to Anna herself who had never
witnessed her father in such an emotionally raw state. "He said it was the
only thing that quieted the demons.  But he said they always came back,
and always in greater numbers."

"I can't let
this happen to him," Anna said quietly.

"Honey, this
is bigger than any of us here," her mother said as she tried to comfort
her with a gentle squeeze of the hand.  "He needs professional help –
the most any of us can do is to convince him of this.  But he needs to be
the one to take that step."

Anna didn't
disagree with her mother, and yet a part of her wondered … could her caring …
her
love
… be enough to save him?  Or was she being incredibly naïve and
overly optimistic that anything she felt for Caleb could actually have an
effect on him?