To the Sea (Follow your Bliss) (11 page)

“Let’s
get your suit off.”

Like
the day before, they peeled Kira out of the extremely tight fitting wetsuit.
Then he followed her to the back room, no pretense of dropping in on her
half-dressed. She smiled, privately, at what it felt like to be desired.

In
the dim light, Jamie’s tan and chiseled muscles rippled as he picked her up and
wrapped her legs around him, setting her on top of a stack of boxes, the heat
building between their skin. They kissed hungrily, tongues, lips, and hands
exploring each other. It was like nothing Kira ever experienced. She yearned
for more. All too soon, approaching footsteps interrupted them.

“So
about that board,” Jamie said as Lee entered looking for some stock, as if
they’d just been back there chatting.

“Oh,
yeah, it’s on top of my car out in the beach lot, want to have a look?” Kira
said breathlessly.

Jamie
winked at her. She contained an unexpected burst of laughter, feeling like a
teenager caught doing something naughty. She mused at the possibility that she
had a chance to make up for the carefree days she lost to studying back in high
school. It was as if she was getting away with something, but the bonus was,
there weren’t consequences. Not really.

“Anything
to get a few more minutes with you,” Jaime said quietly.

Kira
took a deep breath; he was still so close.

When
they walked through the parking lot, Ian and Vanessa, finished with their
lesson, headed through the sand toward the Boardroom.

From
across the beach, Vanessa called in a singsong voice, “Hey, Jamie.” Part of
Kira hoped Ian didn’t notice her walking with him; it wasn’t exactly innocent.
She still hadn’t figured out how to navigate this new domain of men.

“She’s
mad for anyone with a surfboard,” Jamie said. “Looks like she’s got ahold of
Ian,” he chuckled. “And I’ve got you, I hope,” Jamie said grabbing Kira around
the waist as they rounded, out of sight, to the other side of the Mercedes.
Jamie pressed Kira up against the back passenger door. They exchanged a quick
kiss, filled with desire. Her back pressed into the cool metal frame and his
body into hers. There was so little between them, just fabric, making Kira
flush with longing for him. A minivan parked a few spaces down, and they
separated.

“So
this is the board, huh?” Jamie said pulling it down off the roof where Ian had
fastened it securely. “Great shape, never used.” He turned it over in his hands
a few times.

Kira
looked away.

“We’ll
take it. What do you want for it?”

The
value of surfboards flew far out of her frame of reference.

“I
have no idea—wait—how about you give it to one of those kids who came in
yesterday, the ones you said reminded you of yourself when you were younger.
And I’ll buy the other kid one.” Jamie looked at her sideways.

“What
kind of Mercedes-driving good Samaritan are you?”

“A
very satisfied one,” she said with an attempt at a sultry smile, surprising
herself with the flirtatious response.

“When
will you be back for a lesson?” Jamie asked.

“Next
weekend?”

“Too
long,” Jamie said. “How about you call me, and we’ll get together one night
this week.” Kira wasn’t sure that would be possible with work, but since she
did just finish the project, maybe she’d be back on a semi-normal schedule.

“Just
need your digits.”

Kira
grabbed her cell out of the SUV, hardly believing what was happening.

“Promise
not to forget. I’m leaving for South Africa in a couple weeks.”

“Surfing?”

“And
safari.”

“A
surfari?”

“You
got it. There’s a retreat there, guests go surfing, I show them around, and we
go on safari.”

“Like
a tour guide?”

“Something
like that. I go all over, Indo, the UK, and Australia of course. Always
summer.” He kissed her, wetly, on the lips, before trotting back across the
parking lot with the board.

Chapter
Fifteen

When
Kira got back to Lilac Court, she wanted nothing more than a nap with the hope
that sleep would help her untangle her confusion and lust. However, the house
itself and the memories it contained, coupled with Jeremy’s computer idly
reminding her of his betrayal, prompted her back out to the store.

Later,
with a new computer, she sat at the table paralyzed by the stack of paperwork,
bills, and a large sum of money, all thanks to Jeremy’s untimely demise. She
stared, as if somewhere scrawled in the margin of a letter, or a notice, laid
the answer. Kira called Nicole.

“I
have this issue. It seems Jeremy left me a lot of money. Well, not me directly
of course. Our marriage was a sham, why would he have wanted to do that? It was
probably for the potential children we’d had if Blain continued to up the
ante,” Kira said sarcastically.

“Not
likely, he never struck me as the fatherly sort, but go on.”

“It’s
a lot
of money.”

“Life
insurance?”

“Yes,”
Kira answered exhaling.

“I
get the importance,” Nicole said referring to her own situation.

“But
obviously there aren’t children. I don’t feel right about taking it.”

“Are
you sure that it’s yours? No hidden fine print or second wives?”

“Ninety-nine
percent. I have a few calls to make tomorrow. It was all part of the boys club,
you know, him, his brothers, and all that. Nicole, I may not have come from
much, but I do have expensive taste and it’s a lot of money. I don’t know what
to do.”

“Don’t
spend it all in one place.”

Kira
laughed. “But really.”

“There’s
no sense in turning your nose up at it. Think of it as recompense for your
troubles. Or interest accumulated for all the dinners he missed.”

“It
feels dirty though. He wasn’t honest with me. What if every time I write a check
or buy a coffee I’m reminded of him?”

“There
are two answers to that.” Nicole paused.

“And
they are?” Kira asked waiting. The line was quiet.

“The
baby just kicked.”

“Really?”

“Really.
Nate, come here, the baby just kicked,” Nicole called excitedly.

The
couple made happy noises, sharing the special moment. Kira grew lonely as their
world broadened, punctuating her solitude. 

“I
wish you were here. I wish you could feel this. It’s extraordinary. I hope you
have a baby someday and her and July can play and grow up together just like we
did.” Nicole’s words retrieved Kira’s attention and her senses. She abandoned
her despairing thoughts, feeling foolish.

“I
wish I was too. That’s amazing. Tell me if it happens again,” Kira said warmly.

“As
I was saying, your choices are to accept the fact that Jeremy will always be a
part of your life to some degree, at least in memory, or you could let him go.”

“I
wish it was easier,” Kira said forlornly. “College fund for July?” she
suggested.

“Her
name is already down at Columbia, but we’ll take contributions,” Nicole said
laughing.

As
her laughter tinkled over the distance between them, it reached Kira’s ears
with the reminder of their emotional proximity. With it resounded Nicole’s
advice to accept or let go. For the rest of the night those two ideas seesawed
in Kira’s mind, one gaining upper ground then the other.

At
two a.m., still awake, she asked herself,
which is it going to be? Accept or
let go.
She found herself answering that she was tired.
Sleep.
She consented.
For the second night in a row, she slipped away, peacefully, into fluid dreams.

Days
one and two back to work were routine, but on day three Kira was jumpy with
anticipation to meet Jamie for drinks after yoga. At two he texted her.

What
are you doing?

She
replied,
Working. You?

A
few seconds later, her phone vibrated again.

Thinking
about you. Can we meet earlier?

In
the middle of multitasking and replying to a client on the office line, Kira
quivered with excitement. Jamie’s texts became deliciously distracting. Another
appeared, this one warm and buttery.

The
back room was pretty hot. Any chance we can do that again? Soon.

Kira
answered,
I’m out of work at five and go directly to yoga.

Within
seconds, he wrote,
Where? I love yoga. Kama Sutra. Yum.

The
buttery feeling gave way to a hot buttered popcorn explosion. Kira burst with
anticipation recalling the feel of his fingers sliding across her skin, his
breath on her neck, and his lips on hers. Then Jamie’s wet kiss by the Mercedes
had her practically popping out of her chair.

“Please
hold,” Kira said into the mouthpiece of the office phone. She’d woken up
thinking about Jamie every day since they last saw each other. She undid the
top button of her Dolce and Gabbana blouse, fanning herself. She couldn’t wait
any longer.

She
texted,
Prana Yama Yama.

Save
me a spot,
he replied in a matter of seconds.

Then,
the reality of him seeing her sweat made her palms uncomfortably moist.
Envisioning her appearance at yoga with red cheeks and her hair slick with
perspiration, made her think twice about the invitation. Then she brightened
realizing, when a guy like Jamie got sweaty there was no doubt he’d look hot,
so maybe it’d be worth it.

The
late afternoon hours ticked by punctuating the growing knot in Kira’s stomach.
She wondered if Alice would be offended that she’d invited a guy to their
class. Or worse, she feared what Alice would think of her since Jeremy had just
died. Her thoughts raced. She picked up her phone to text Jamie back and
cancel, but Alice appeared.

“Hey,
how’s it going?”

“Oh
me? I’m fine,” Kira answered, flustered.

“I’m
not going to be able to make it to class this evening. Date.” She beamed.

Kira
didn’t dare tell her she’d invited her very own date to crash their class.

“You’ll
be missed.”

“Don’t
ditch,” Nicole warned.

Kira
wouldn’t dream of it. “Absolutely.” Crisis averted. Her shoulders and stomach
relaxed.

Kira
skipped out of the office ten minutes early figuring she’d earned it the week
before since she’d all but moved into the place. She wanted to be at the studio
and changed when Jamie arrived.

Kira
waited in the lounge area thinking his bronzed body would saunter through the
door any second, but when Amber invited them into the class space, he still
hadn’t arrived. After they did the opening Om chant, Jamie still hadn’t shown
up. By the time Kira reclined in Savasana, she could hardly relax as her body
twitched with restlessness and rejection. After she grabbed a smoothie, she
turned her phone back on. A text waited.

Sorry.
Couldn’t make it. Come to my place. Please? 57 Dune Road.

Again,
Kira’s palms moistened. She wasn’t expecting this turn of events as she tried
to figure out how to maneuver in the land of dating and her place in it. Her
mind volleyed back and forth, as she considered going to Jamie’s or back to
Lilac Court. She had work the next morning. Her house and his were in opposite
directions. If she went, did she go home first and freshen up? Would she return
home before morning? Kira took a deep breath.

Live.

She
turned toward the highway.

Catching
the scent of the sea air as she neared the beach, Kira instantly calmed down.
However, as the GPS announced her arrival on Dune Road, she worked herself into
a tizzy all over again.

Kira
pulled alongside a beach house crash pad. A Jeep and VW parked in the front
sported a smattering of surf related bumper stickers. Surfboards leaned on the
exterior wall of the house, and beach chairs, a grill, and other miscellaneous
items were scattered around the yard.

Laughter
led Kira to a side door that was propped open. She wasn’t in Kansas anymore or
in her reality, Newton, she thought bemused. As Kira hesitantly entered, the
grouping of people in the kitchen and living room reminded her of her
childhood, of her parents and their hippie friends. Only instead of activism,
sit-ins, and music festivals these people talked about surf reports, exotic
super waves, and custom boards. She felt out of place, like the mom returning
to bring the babysitter home only to discover she’d thrown a party. Maybe so
much time studying in high school and college prevented her from learning how
to let loose. Kira wanted to disappear beneath her designer clothes and patent
leather heels.

“Kira,
hey,” Jamie called. “Grab a beer.” On the floor just behind her, Kira spotted a
cooler, and politely took a cold bottle of Corona.

She
picked her way over to the couch where Jamie lounged. He opened the bottle for
her. The others in the room sat transfixed by a surfing video that played on a
TV nestled into what was once the brick surround of a fireplace.

Jamie
pulled her onto his lap, immediately giving her a big kiss. He tasted like beer
and salt. Afraid they were making a scene, Kira snuck a peek around the room,
but no one paid them any attention—the guy on the orange board riding through a
tube on the video was far more captivating.

“Sorry
I couldn’t make it to yoga. Good class?”

“Yeah,
great.”

“So
how about you and I—” He raised one eyebrow in the direction of a room with a
colorful Mexican blanket pinned over the door.

Kira
took a sip of her beer as they entered. Jamie grabbed a blanket from the corner
and beckoned Kira outside.

She
kicked off her heels before following him along a path between sea grasses
rustling in the light breeze. They walked a ways down the beach before Jamie
stopped and spread the blanket. He pulled a couple more beers out of the pocket
of his shorts and took off the sunglasses that were always perched atop his
head.

“I’ve
been thinking about you all day. All week. I was hoping yoga would be foreplay.
But we’ll have to make up for it now,” he said taking off his shirt to reveal
his taut muscles in the half-moon light.

Kira
took another big sip of beer at the sight of his bronzed body. With one hand,
he pulled her closer, took a last sip of his beer, and then placed his lips on
hers. He nibbled on her neck, and then kissed her chest as he unbuttoned her
shirt. Heat zipped from Kira’s head to her toes.

They
kissed, their bodies pressing together, until he pulled her down onto the blanket.
His muscles rippled against her skin. Kneeling in front of her he said, “Why
don’t we get rid of these?” Kira’s stockings came off. Next thing she knew her
legs were around his shoulders. He ran his hands down her thighs and then dove
in. As moans escaped her, she couldn’t recall pleasure with such fiery passion.
Ever. Her body shivered with desire. Ecstatic stars danced behind her closed
eyes.

Next,
she tugged at his shorts, grappling with the belt. As the waves rolled in and
out, he pressed inside her. Kira’s fingers gripped the broad width of Jamie’s
back. They kissed, pawed, and groped like heated animals rolling from the
blanket to the sand and back again. The pleasure penetrated deeply inside,
spreading from her warm center, through her arms and legs. The breeze dried her
glistening brow as lips and hips moved in and out.

As
they lay there afterward, the moon dancing off the water, Jamie sprawled out on
the blanket. Kira lay along his length, his hoodie draped over them. Their warm
skin touched in some places and hinted at doing so in others.

“You
were my first surfer.”

Jamie
laughed.

“And
what’d you say you do, you’re in advertising?”

“That’s
me.”

“Suits
and ties?”

“Skirts
and heels, but yeah.”

“How
about next time just the heels.” She heard the flirtatious tension of longing
in his voice. “That was awesome.”

Kira
slowly got up and looked for her clothes, shaking off the sand, unsure of booty
call protocol.

“Don’t
go so soon. I’m usually ready again after a little while,” he said leaning on
his elbows. 

“I
work early in the morning,” Kira said.

“Surfers
aren’t a bunch of lay-abouts. I get up early. Earlier than you I’d say,” he
said jokingly.

“Oh,
I doubt that,” Kira said raising her eyebrows, thinking of the predawn hours as
her recent companion.

Getting
to his feet, Jamie drew Kira in for one more kiss, unbothered by his nakedness.
He pressed up against her, reminding her of his potency.

“Are
you sure I can’t convince you to stay,” he said brushing her hair from her face
with his thumbs. It was tempting as his fingers slid down her sides and then
firmly squeezed her hips. His breath tickled her neck.