To the Sea (Follow your Bliss) (15 page)

Chapter Nineteen

The
following night, Kira ventured to the shore to see Jamie. The familiar scene
greeted her when she got to his beach house. People hung around the kitchen
drinking beer, eating pizza, and chatting about surfing.

Jamie
greeted her with a wide grin as she slipped through to the living room where he
sat with his laptop.

“So
what did you decide? Do I order you a plane ticket?”

“South
Africa or bust,” Kira said giddily.

“Alright!”
he hooted. “Guess what guys; Kira’s coming to SA.”

There
was a chorus of
sweet, cool, and gnarlies
from undefined parts of the
room.

Kira
swept to possibilities with Jamie in hotel rooms, hidden nooks, and stolen
kisses. She imagined lazy mornings in bed with room service, hot tubs, and long
walks on the beach. He interrupted her reverie when he motioned to his
computer.

“I
just have to add you to the roster,” he said making a flourish as he clicked
through some lists adding her info. “And I need a deposit.” He looked at a page
on the computer and asked, “Okay, do you want a standard room, ocean view, or
deluxe?”

“I’ll
take deluxe,” Kira said, pleased with her decision and vivid imagination.

“Ooh,
high class. I bet the bed is pretty comfortable,” he said squeezing her waist.
After a few more questions about her preferences, Kira entered her credit card
info. The grand total had fewer zeros than the check she’d given to Courtney,
or the deposit for the entire trip to France for that matter; apparently,
surfaris
were affordable.

After
that, Jamie and Kira fell into making out, moving from the living room to the
bedroom behind the hanging Mexican blanket. Very quickly, they undressed and
moved closer together. Kira’s breath came in bursts, as they delighting in each
other. Unbidden, she envisioned Jeremy and Courtney making a baby. She felt
herself slipping away from the moment, but then Jamie did something with his
hips, and she moaned in ecstasy, instantly returning to the pleasure at hand.

When
Kira emerged from Jamie’s bedroom around midnight, she was surprised to see Ian
and a few others playing cards around the kitchen table, littered with munchies
and beer cans. Kira felt herself blush, like a teenager caught doing something
forbidden. She gave him a weak hello before vanishing outside.

The
rest of the week breezed by in a whirlwind of packing, preparing, and working.
Kira managed to sneak away and pick up a new camera—a Canon Rebel with a
10-22mm lens and a water housing to protect it while taking surf shots. She
wanted to capture every moment in Africa—on land and in the sea.

On
Friday, when Kira closed the office door behind her, she practically floated to
her car on a cloud of excitement. Although she didn’t consider herself a
proficient surfer, South Africa, one of the top surfing destinations in the
world, would surely offer her ample opportunity to improve her skills. The trip
also entailed the safari, hiking, excursions, snorkeling, Jamie, and hopefully,
at least for her, liberal time away from reminders of Jeremy, namely the house
on Lilac Court.

Kira
had the growing sensation that it was
his
house, or more precisely the
place where he’d sequestered her. She considered moving back into the
condominium in the city, but when she swung by earlier in the week she
discovered a den of polyamorous deceit. Jeremy had a fully stocked bar, a
collection of various underthings: bras, panties, garters, presumably left
behind by his conquests, and other bachelor style accoutrements. Just when the
wound showed signs of healing, it tore open again and left her feeling raw.

She
scheduled an appointment with a realtor for when she returned from South Africa
to put it up for sale. One by one, Kira slowly eliminated another tie to
Jeremy, hoping for closure.

On
Saturday morning, Kira hurried to the beach to get in one more surf lesson
before her big trip abroad. When she arrived at the cement wall, the clouds
overhead threatened rain. Ian’s wetsuit clad figure was noticeably absent.
Disappointed, she looked to the waves that she wished to share with him.

She
climbed back in the Mercedes, protection against the whipping wind, hoping Ian
would soon emerge from the surf. Seven a.m., then eight a.m., and he didn’t
appear. At quarter past eight, she walked over to the Boardroom. Neither Ian
nor Jamie were to be seen. Andy, the owner, an unassuming guy with eyeglasses
and curly hair, stood behind the counter.

“I
have an 8:30 with Ian,” she told the freshly tanned stranger.

“Right.
He should be along shortly. Have you surfed before?” She suddenly felt the
place that had become so familiar to her, a refuge of sorts, shifting under her
feet. She longed to hear Jamie’s baritone, Ian’s buoyant laughter, and see Lee
skittering around keeping busy. A sun kissed woman Kira didn’t recognize took
orders at the café counter, presumably Andy’s girlfriend, also back from
Mexico. 

While
waiting for the usually punctual Ian, Kira browsed the racks of women’s
clothing and picked out a few surfer girl clothes, including a hoodie to replace
her Harvard crimson sweatshirt stained with memories. She also selected a floor
grazing skirt and striped tank to bring with her on the trip. She browsed the
bathing suits including a bunch of two-pieces in shiny metallics, but the smell
of neoprene caught her attention. Kira bought a wetsuit in case she needed it
overseas.

After
paying, she went out to the front of the shop to wait for Ian. As she settled
on a bench, steaming coffee in hand, a Honda Supra braked sharply in the lot.
Ian emerged like a snail in the wrong shell, looking tired and forlorn.
Vanessa, in the driver’s seat, pulled him roughly back for a kiss while looking
directly at Kira. She recalled Jamie saying Vanessa had a thing for surfers,
and her eye contact said, back off, he's mine. Kira looked away thinking
cattily about how she and Jamie were jetting off to South Africa.
So there.
 

As
the Honda peeled out of the parking lot, Ian gave a short nod before ducking
into the shop. Kira recognized that there was something special about him. She
liked Ian, a lot; she felt at ease when they were together and he believed in
her at a time when she hardly recognized herself in the mirror. But Vanessa,
the kiss, his curt nod, put an undefinable distance between them that made her
wonder if they could still be friends.

Kira
recalled a hot debate held in her sorority, could girls be friends with guys
without there being a suggestion of something more? Some argued that no, there
was always underlying sexual tension. On the other hand, over the years Kira
had known women who appeared to be just friends with guys. She and Ian had
become friends, but if Vanessa turned out to be possessive, she’d have to
handle the situation carefully. Then there was that feeling she had when they
were together. She couldn’t quite identify it, but she somehow felt full.

“Morning,”
Ian said quietly as he emerged from the shop wearing his wetsuit. He didn’t
utter a word as they walked down to the beach. It felt strained and peculiar
not to chat about whatever came to mind and then fall into comfortable silence.
This was just silence, and it unnerved Kira.

When
they stood at the edge of the water, gazing out at the waves, Kira asked, “How
are you?”

“Fine,”
he said stiffly.

“Tired?”

“Yeah.”
He ran his hands over his face.

“Anything
on your mind, surfer to surfer?” She knew she wasn’t a true surfer just yet,
just a
kook
in surfer parlance, a newbie, a beginner, but she wanted the
happy-go-lucky, jolly, silly Ian she’d grown accustomed to spending time with.

“Let’s
get in,” he said. Kira started with her paddle, popup, and proceeded to get
waves completely on her own.

“Looks
like you’ve worked yourself out of a job.” Kira laughed at her attempt to
lighten the mood.

“I
can see that,” he said before a big rush of water washed over them. Kira
bubbled up to the surface and as she smoothed her hair back, Ian came up with
his eyes still closed. For a moment, instead of looking irritable, she saw
sadness written in the lines at the corners of his eyes and his downturned
lips.

For
the rest of their session, Ian offered dry instruction. His heart wasn’t in it.
Kira thought sullenly how instead of a we out in the waves, a team, it felt
like a him and a her. She’d never been lonely in the water until then. The
steely clouds overhead underscored the mood. The waves became disorganized.
After waiting for something ride-able in the silence that stood between them
like a wall, Vanessa waved frantically from the shore.

“So
what’s up with her?” Kira asked candidly, and annoyed that Vanessa virtually
cut in on her lesson yet again.

Ian
started to say something in reply, but Kira’s board tore loose from around her
ankle. He went after it. She un-Velcroed the board-less leash and reeled it in.
Ian rescued the longboard.

“You
were saying?” Again, Vanessa cut him short as she waded into the water to greet
him, wearing a dangerously short sundress that whipped in the wind.

“Hey,
baby,” she said reaching for his neck. She leaned in for a kiss, but between
the board, the waves, wind, and fluctuating sand, she pitched forward and fell
into the water.

“Oh
gosh.” Kira bent down to help her, but Vanessa swatted her away.

“I’m
fine,” she said dripping wet, mascara running, clown-like, down her cheeks.

Returning
to the shop was awkward. Ian and Vanessa walked apart from Kira, but Vanessa
hung onto his arm, pouting.

“Thanks
for the lesson,” Kira called.

He
offered a tight-lipped nod in reply.

There
was no sign of Jamie at the Boardroom or at Dune Road. He didn’t answer his
cell. Kira figured last minute planning and preparation had him busy.

She
hardly slept the night before departure, packing, repacking, and then reviewing
her luggage and documents several times. She’d only told Alice, her sister, and
Nicole exactly where she was going; and in turn, they each said her journey was
bold, crazy, and an adventure of lifetime.

Chapter Twenty

At
the airport, Jamie greeted Kira with a big kiss when they met at the gate.
“We’ll be meeting the others at the resort, but we’ll have to be a bit cool
when we’re around the other travelers, if you know what I mean.”

Kira
understood, but his words dashed her visions of them making love under a
canopy-net and sipping icy mixed drinks in a hammock. Too much Bachelorette,
she chided herself as they waited in line.

Once
onboard the plane, Jamie relayed some stories from his last trip to South
Africa and surfing the famed Jeffreys bay.

“Daring,”
Kira said. It was wild, rocky, and Jamie gave her the sense that spectating
would be enough. After a while, they dozed. Kira woke to Jamie’s hands reaching
under her shirt.

“Getting
frisky?” she asked sleepily.

“Mmmhmm.”

The
two of them were the sole occupants in the seats. The dim cabin lights offered
some privacy while a movie played. Jamie and Kira discretely made out. His
hands worked their way under the waist of her jeans. He fumbled with the button
and then the zipper, his fingers sliding onto her bare skin. He was as eager
for her as ever; she set aside the doubts his comment about them being reserved
around each other caused. As heat pulsed across her skin, Kira left the
trappings of Lilac Court, everything it stood for behind, and entered bold new
territory. The fleece blanket she spread over them concealed Jamie’s hands
working on her and then hers on him. She held in the moans that longed to escape.

All
too soon, the plane descended. Jamie had arranged a rental to get them from the
airport in Cape Town to the resort in Saint Francis Bay. Their last moments
alone together were spent navigating abysmal traffic that opened up to
breathtaking views, lush greenery, and something in the air that was uniquely
African.

The
few times she and Jeremy traveled or took day trips, he’d liken the place they
visited to somewhere familiar to him, which she supposed was a common thing to
do, but the South African coast was like nothing she’d ever imagined. Maybe it
was the light in the southern hemisphere, the dome of the blue sky, the smells
of the earth as it cascaded in gentle greens right into the sea, or maybe it
was just magic.

Finally,
they pulled up at the resort, a white stucco building with exposed wooden
framework and large windows planted on a verdant hillock surrounded by stubby
palms overlooking the ocean. Jamie gave Kira one last mega-kiss.

Uniformed
employees welcomed the pair as they entered the resort, with beautiful dark
wooden floors, creamy, cushioned chairs, and couches where several people
waited, their eyes glued to their electronics, while others looked out the
window at the scenery, and one couple played cards.

“Welcome
to Big Break tours. I’m pumped that you’ve all made it from around the world,
and I’m really excited to get to know you all,” Jamie said after everyone had
gathered.

As
he went on with his greeting, Kira received the full blast of his enthusiasm.
In addition to the affable surfer-dude hat he wore, he was like an ambassador.
He greeted the guests like old friends, even though they’d never met, offering
coffee, and tea, as if everyone arrived at his home and not a resort. He
promised great waves and adventure.

Shortly
after, Kira received her key card, and a porter brought her bags up, no Jamie
in sight.

Waiting
for her in the deluxe suite, a welcome basket contained a rash guard with the
Big Break Tours logo, sunblock, chap stick, a few bottles of water, energy
bars, and a friendly little note. After rinsing her face, reapplying her
makeup, and changing for dinner, Kira listened for a knock on her door, but the
rush of the surf was the only sound that broke the silence.

She
unpacked, hanging onto the possibility that Jamie would come up to her room to
finish what they’d started on the plane. When the clock indicated it was time
to meet in the dining room for the meal, Kira dutifully excused Jamie; the
details of getting everyone settled in, arranging special needs, and moving
forward with the plans for the tour itself was his job. 

When
Kira went downstairs, she found him, beer in hand, whooping it up with some of
the guests and employees while watching the end of a soccer match. The bamboo
bar he stood in front of, topped with thick glass and backlit tastefully in
yellow and green, looked more like pleasure and less like business.

The
tour group assembled around the long teak dinner table with Kira taking a seat
near Jamie, but remembering his request to keep things cool around the guests,
she wasn’t so close that she’d make things obvious. She also wanted to avoid
temptation.

The
food passed around, family style, was fresh and delicious. Kira started with a
micro greens salad, topped with pears, walnuts, and native goat cheese. Locally
caught rainbow trout with fingerling potatoes, and green beans with pistachios
and mint, followed as the entree. Everyone exchanged polite banter as they got
to know one another, Jamie, with his booming voice, taking the helm.

A
Wall Street banker, named Baker, sat across from Kira explaining he took a surf
trip once a year to get his head straight. A young Canadian couple was on their
honeymoon, which made her heart ache for longer than she wanted it to. Next to
her sat, Nigel, a retired schoolteacher from England who surfed the same break
since he was ten years old and decided it was time to see more of what the
ocean had to offer. Down the table, Kira met three college-bound girls who
seemed alternately interested in Jamie and themselves.

Finally,
Emanuela, a woman with a sibilant accent exclaimed, “I’m a professor and being
an unconventional kind of gal, I decided it would be fun to see Africa from a
surfboard.” Kira learned that very few of the guests were accomplished surfers,
but were equally excited about hitting the water as they were seeing lions on
safari.

By
the time Kira’s head landed on the pillow, in the four-poster bed surrounded by
gauzy material, she had little hope Jamie would sneak into her room. He acted
like a salesperson, only he wasn’t selling anything other than a good time. He
became the great entertainer. Regretfully, this reminded her of Jeremy and his
antics when in a crowd— always the ham, or rather, swine, Kira thought darkly.

She
woke up the next day, bleary, with jet lag throwing off her already irregular
sleep-cycle. Along with the local newspaper, a crisp sheet of paper slipped
under her door with the sunrise. She read the itinerary:

Days
1-3: The resort and the beach (Surfing, hiking, kayaking—optional.)

Day
4-7: Travel day to the Karoo, the nature preserve, and safari.

Day
8: Travel day back to the resort.

Days
9-11: Three more days at the resort and beach (with optional afternoon
activities—TBA)

Day
12: Travel day back to the airport.

That
afternoon they were to spend time relaxing at the resort surfing, enjoying its
amenities, and acclimating to the time difference.

Kira
wandered downstairs, hoping to run into Jamie. The smoothie bar at the yoga
studio had broken down her defenses against consuming green
extraterrestrial-like concoctions reminiscent of her commune days. With a nod
to Alice, and her hippie heritage, Kira forwent her usual morning coffee in
favor of the “Rise and Shine” juice bar. After taking a shot of each freshly
pressed juice on offer, she selected the Green Machine, containing celery,
apples, spinach, and mint. Because she was on vacation, she also indulged in a
sampling of the fresh baked pastries to energize her for the hour and a half
surf lesson.

Once
out on the water, Kira buddied up with the college professor, Emanuela.
Although she’d surfed in her native Argentina, she was as much a novice as
Kira. They each caught their fair share of waves as they cheered each other on.

Never
having seen Jamie properly surf, Kira watched him go farther out than the
beginners, the lone man in the sea. He ripped it up charging the waves with hot
fury, gliding, twisting, turning into cutbacks, and even catching air. She
snapped loads of pictures of him in action, looking forward to drooling over
them later.

When
he emerged from the water, carrying his short board under the crook of his arm,
Kira wanted him even more, but Baker caught his attention, asking for some
pro-tips. He acted casual around Kira, and for the most part, he focused his
attention on the other guests.

On
the second day, Jamie and Kira ended up sitting together on the shuttle bus to
the portage station for the kayaking trip. He offered information about the
landscape and sights to the group as they drove upland to the drop off point.

Kira
felt small and insignificant, but then reminded herself it was his job, the
guests didn’t pay him to throw himself at her. She laughed at the image of him,
in his board shorts, waltzing into a boardroom and giving her a big smooch
while she gave a presentation.

Kira
quickly got the hang of paddling the kayak. Almost level with the water, she
had a similar view of the marine life and aquatic environment as when on the
surfboard, but instead of having to focus on waves, she took in all the natural
beauty as she glided through a lagoon and ventured into coves.

As
she rounded a rocky headland, a group of seals greeted her, lounging on the
sea-battered rocks, a picture perfect moment. She whipped out her waterproofed
camera, getting as close as she dared without disturbing them. Watching their
sweet whiskers twitching in the sun, Kira felt free, unburdened, and could
breathe deeply without the risk of tears. She snapped away, distinctly in her
element.

On
the third day, the group took a long and sweaty hike in one of South Africa’s
diverse microclimates. They observed the native wildlife, and loads of dogs
shepherded them on the paths as they followed the trails. One dappled male took
a liking to Kira, nuzzling her for scratches behind the ears.

“Looks
like you’ve got a new friend,” Jamie said.

Just
then, she wished for an old friend, Ian, and all the fun she knew they’d have
together if he were there. Kira patted the dog’s head.

“I’m
going to call him Woody,” she said. For the rest of the hike he trotted happily
by her side while Jamie caroused with the college-bound girls.

That
night, once back at the resort, Kira and Jamie finally stole a few moments
together in her ultra-cushy, king-sized bed.

“I
saw someone angling for my territory earlier,” Jamie said flirtatiously.

“Oh
yeah? Who?”

“Woody.”
They both laughed. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been here sooner,” he apologized
between kissing her neck, her shoulder, and her chest. She squeezed the tanned
skin of his arms, feeling his tight muscles.

“It’s
been so hard to keep away from you,” she countered as her pulse quickened.

They
tossed off their remaining clothes. He moved in and out, Kira moaning and
groaning in ecstasy. The air there turned them both on beyond what Kira had
ever experienced. It was primal and seemingly endless as they rolled in the
sheets, twisting them in sweaty tangles as the ocean breeze cooled their skin.

“I
needed that,” Jamie said as he moved onto the other side of the bed.

“Glad
I came along?” Kira said meaningfully.

“Absolutely.”
He clasped his hands behind his head, letting out a deep breath. “I’d better
head back to my room soon. Still lots to do and you know—” He collected his
clothing, gave Kira a peck, and exited as she deflated on the bed.

Kira
put her clothes back on and stepped out onto the deck. She wanted the sound of
the rolling waves to distract her from a growing uneasiness. Each time a
doubt-filled question popped into her mind, she reminded herself that Jamie was
at work.

The
next day, before sunrise, the group loaded into a bus headed for the Karoo. It
was a day’s ride, but the distance was well worth it in hopes that they’d have
great sightings, and photo-opps of native animals, the big five in particular:
lions, leopards, elephants, rhino, and buffalo.

As
Kira watched the dusty scenery, dotted with scrub brush, and the sky overhead
bigger and bluer than ever, she and Emanuela alternatingly chatted about their
professional lives.

“I
hardly have time for anything else. Between work, family, home, I have all
these commitments, some I don’t even remember making. I think of myself as laid
back, but I recently had to pencil in sleep. That’s just wrong,” Emanuela said
in accented English. 

And
marriage Kira thought bitterly, letting memories of Jeremy get the better of
her.

She’d
kept her policy of not discussing the matter with the new people she’d met,
starting with Ian and Jamie. But sometimes it felt like there was nothing else
to think about, no less talk about. An unsettled feeling accompanied thoughts
of Ian. At her lessons, he didn’t seem thrilled by Vanessa’s presence, but the kiss
she gave him made it appear they were together.