Too Many Secrets (3 page)

Lisa and Jennie cleared the table and began washing dishes. Mom came up behind them and squeezed their shoulders. “Thanks, girls. Jennie, I know this hasn't been easy for you. Once you get to know Michael, you'll like him as much as I do.”

Jennie scraped the food off another plate.
I will never like Michael!
she wanted to scream. Instead, she took a deep breath and tried to act as if it didn't matter. She didn't want to fight with Mom in front of everyone, and especially not during Nick's party. “Why don't you go back in the living room with the others?” Jennie suggested. “Lisa and I will finish up in here and bring out the cake and stuff.” The strength and sincerity of her tone surprised her. Maybe she should take up acting.

Jennie felt rotten. She hated lying and pretending to be something she wasn't. But she'd never had to deal with anything like this before. And Mom was wrong. She shouldn't have asked Michael to come. She shouldn't be seeing him.

Mom hugged Jennie and kissed her cheek. “That's sweet. Thanks, girls. It's nice to be waited on.”

When she'd gone, Lisa leaned back against the counter and looked up at Jennie. “You don't like him much, do you?”

“That's the understatement of the year.”

“Well, I think he's nice. Not only that, he's gorgeous.”

“I can't believe you're saying that! I don't care how great he looks or how nice he is, my mother is a
married woman
.”

“Get real, Jen. What if your Dad never comes back?” The look Jennie gave Lisa could have melted steel at thirty paces. Lisa just frowned and continued. “I know you don't want to hear this, but he might not. Remember Angie's dad?”

Angie was a friend who lived in the house next door to Lisa. Her dad had left when Angie was only three. They thought he had been kidnapped or something. Then a few years ago they found out that he had another wife and family—a whole other life. And he didn't want to have anything to do with Angie and her mom.

“My dad's not like that.”

“Maybe not, but …”

“Sorry to interrupt, girls.” Aunt Kate breezed into the kitchen and grabbed a towel. “Thought you could use some help. And I'm not talking about the dishes. Your mom told me that Michael showed up before she'd had a chance to talk to you. I told her it probably wouldn't have made much difference. Am I right?”

Jennie nodded wearily. She wasn't sure she wanted to talk about Michael anymore.

“So …” Kate set the glass she'd been drying in the cupboard and leaned against the counter. “Why don't you tell me about it?”

Maybe I should talk to her
, Jennie thought. Since Gram wasn't here, the next best person to talk Mom out of dating Michael would be Aunt Kate. Jennie chewed on her lip, trying to put her thoughts into words. “I tried to tell Mom earlier,” she began. “She shouldn't be seeing Michael or anyone else. What if Dad comes home? What if he …” The words collapsed in Jennie's throat and everything blurred.

Kate pulled Jennie into her arms. “I know this is hard for you. It's hard for all of us. I love him too, Jen, and miss him like crazy. Losing Jason was like losing a part of myself. Every day I pray he'll come back to us. We all love him, especially your mom. But there comes a time when we have to let go. Your mother is young. She needs to get on with her life. She needs a husband, and you kids need a father …”

Jennie pulled away. This couldn't be happening. How could Aunt Kate say those things? Dad wasn't dead. He couldn't be.

“But, you said … you said you knew he was alive. You told me you could feel him sometimes. You said that twins have some kind of ESP thing and you …”

“Oh, Jennie. I'm sorry. I never meant to mislead you. It's just that we all wanted so badly for him to come back. I probably imagined it.”

“No, you didn't imagine it. I feel it too. So does Gram.” The sad look in Kate's eyes drained Jennie of hope that her aunt would help. Kate was on Mom's side. And from the comments Lisa had made, Jennie wasn't sure she could count on her cousin, either. She'd have to fight this alone—at least until Gram came back.

Gram will understand. She'll talk some sense into everyone
.

Lisa stuffed a tissue into Jennie's hand. “Please don't cry. We can go up to your room for a while if you want. Our moms can take care of the cake and ice cream.”

“I'm okay,” Jennie sniffled. “It's just been a rough day.” She'd call Gram again later. And if she wasn't there, Jennie would track her down. Jennie had some money saved and would even go to Canada if necessary. Her whole world was coming unraveled, and it looked as though Gram was the only one who could hold it together. Jennie just hoped Gram would get there before it was too late.

Lisa and Jennie finished up the dishes in silence, then took the cake, party favors, plates, and ice cream into the dining room. “Come on, everyone!” Lisa called. “Party time!”

Lisa tried to sound upbeat and happy, but Jennie knew she was still upset about what had happened in the kitchen. Before the others came in, Jennie leaned toward her and said, “Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Caring.”

Lisa smiled. “I'm glad you noticed.” She bit her lower lip as if she wanted to say something but didn't.

“What?” Jennie tightened her grip on the backrest of one of the dining-room chairs.

“Well, I don't agree with you about Michael, at least not completely, but I think I understand. If it was my dad …”

Nick zoomed in and scrambled onto the chair Jennie was holding and put an end to their conversation. Even if she didn't agree, Lisa would support her. Knowing she could count on Lisa's friendship lifted Jennie's spirits, and she actually began to enjoy Nick's party.

They sang happy birthday and laughed at Nick's antics as he blew out the candles and practically fell into his pile of presents. Nick tore into a squishy, pillow-shaped package, which turned out to be a sleeping bag.

“That's from us!” Kirk jumped up and showed him how to crawl through, under, and around it. When the boys finally surfaced, Lisa and Brad nearly created a riot with a space-age squirt gun they'd brought for Nick.

Mom snapped some pictures then tried to put an end to the chaos. “Enough, enough. If you guys don't quiet down I'm going to eat all the cake and ice cream myself.”

Jennie even laughed at that. Mom had been trying to lose what she called her baby fat (the fifteen pounds she'd gained when she was pregnant with Nick) for five years. Her public helpings of cake were about the size of a pea.

“Hey, you guys better listen to her,” Kate hollered. “I've seen her wolf down a whole package of double almond fudge cookies in one sitting.” After another round of giggles they sobered up, and Jennie handed Nick another present.

The package from Mom contained rainy-day crafts, some clothes, and one of those picture Bible storybooks for little kids. “Oh, Mom …” Nick clasped his hands. “Thank you.” From the lights dancing in his eyes, you'd have thought she'd given him a trip to Disneyland.

Nick picked up another present. “This one's from my sister,” he announced proudly. The kid was a Mickey Mouse freak, and Jennie had wrapped the present in Mickey paper with a matching bow. He folded back the paper and found three of his favorite mouse books. Nick jumped up and grabbed Jennie around the neck in a bear hug. “Oh, thank you. You're the bestest sister in the whole wide world.” He climbed up in her lap. “Read 'em to me now. This one first.” He placed
Fantasia
on top of the pile and opened it.

Mom told us to smile while she focused the camera and took another dozen pictures. “Nick,” Mom said as she loaded another roll of film into the camera, “Jennie can read one of the stories before bedtime. You still have another present to open.”

She picked up the bright red package with the polka-dot bow. “Don't you want to see what Michael brought you?”

Nick turned to look at Jennie as if he needed her permission. She nudged him forward. “Go ahead. Open it.” He scrambled off her lap and tore off the wrap. Inside the box lay a black T-shirt with a big neon picture of Mickey Mouse on the front. Nick jumped up, pulled his shirt off, and shrugged into the new one. It was the quickest Jennie had ever seen him move. She laughed along with everyone else over his enthusiasm.

Michael and Jennie glanced at each other at the same time. He smiled, and for a second she smiled back. She hated to admit it, but he couldn't have picked out a better present for her little brother.

Jennie looked away feeling like a traitor.
He's the enemy
, she reminded herself.
He's just trying to impress us
. He was sure doing a good job of it.

Nick yanked at Jennie's sleeve and motioned for her to lean forward so he could tell her a secret. “See, Jennie,” he whispered. “I tolded you God would send us a daddy.”

Hurt, anger, and frustration raced through Jennie, but before she could protest, Nick picked up the books she'd given him and walked over to Michael. “Michael, would you read me a story and tuck me in when I haf'ta go to bed?”

“Sure, Sport. I'd like that, but …” He looked from Nick to Jennie and back again. “Maybe you'd better make sure it's okay with your sister. I think she was planning on reading these to you.”

Of course it wasn't okay. Anybody with any brains could see that. “Go ahead,” Jennie mumbled, shrugging her shoulders as if she could care less.

Seeing Nick and Michael together was the hardest hit Jennie had taken all day. She felt as if she'd been used for target practice by practically everyone in the family. Her stomach was twisted in knots, her head ached, and her eyes burned. She had to get out of there before she made a fool of herself by crying again. “I'm still not feeling too well,” Jennie announced. “I think I'll pass on the cake and go to bed.”

Jennie mumbled a quick good-night and started to leave. Uncle Kevin, sitting beside her, stood and held out his arms. “Let's have a hug before you go, Jennifer.”

Uncle Kevin's hug nearly undid her. He was not only Mom's brother, but he'd been Dad's closest friend. They had both flown helicopters in the war. But, like all the others, he was already treating Michael like a member of the family.

Your family treats every guest that way
, a voice in her head reminded her. Jennie ignored it. Michael wasn't just anyone. He was her mother's boyfriend. After escaping from her uncle's bear hug and telling everyone goodnight, Jennie raced up the stairs and into her room.

Once in bed, Jennie leaned against the pillows, grabbed the phone and dialed Gram's number.

“Hello …”

“Gram!” For a second Jennie thought Gram was home, but the voice went on to say, “I'm sorry I missed your call. Be a dear and leave your name, number, and a brief message after the beep, and I'll call as soon as I can.”

Jennie waited for the beep and said, “Gram, it's Jennie. I need you. Please call me. It's urgent!”

She hung up and snuggled deeper into the pillows, pulling the comforter up to her neck. Something about the calls to Gram didn't feel right. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate, replaying the calls in her head. After a couple of minutes, Jennie decided her imagination was probably working overtime, so she tried Ryan's number. He answered on the third ring.

“Hi. It's me … Jennie.”

“Hey, I was just thinking about you.”

“Really?” Jennie wondered if his thoughts about her were anything like the thoughts she'd been having about him lately. Probably not.

“Yeah. I found this great cave in the rocks this afternoon. Just the kind of place you'd like. Smells a little fishy, but it's dry and roomy. And no bats.”

“Sounds neat.”

“So when are you coming down?”

“Soon … I hope. Gram's invited me to go to Florida with her in June. We should have a few days to explore before I leave.” Jennie hesitated. “That is … if … I mean, when Gram comes back. Ah … that's why I called. I'm really worried about her.”

“Listen, like my mom told Kate earlier, we got a call from her saying she was still up north. I'm sure she's fine.”

“Maybe you're right, but it doesn't add up. She missed Nick's birthday and didn't even call.”

“Maybe she tried earlier and couldn't get anyone.”

“We have an answering machine.” The uneasiness Jennie had felt earlier resurfaced. “I tried calling Gram a few minutes ago,” she said. “Left a message on her machine.” Jennie shivered under the toasty covers. “Ryan? Does Gram still call you to get her phone messages?”

“Not anymore. A couple of months ago she got a new answering machine. Now she can dial in and get her own messages.”

“There's no chance that you were over there earlier tonight and accidently left it off?”

“No. When I brought her mail in this morning the machine was on and the red light was blinking.”

The slippery thought crept out of its hiding place and wrapped its tentacles around her. “So the answering machine is always on?”

“Yeah, unless someone's calling in, in which case the line would be busy. What's wrong, Jennie? What are you getting at?”

“When I called Gram earlier, the answering machine didn't pick up. When I called a few minutes ago, it was on. If you didn't turn off the machine, who did?”

“I'm sure there's an explanation,” Ryan reassured. “Maybe the machine malfunctioned. Maybe there was a power outage.”

“And maybe someone was in the house. What if she came home? What if she's sick? She could have fallen. I just thought of something terrible. What if she had a heart attack or stroke in the sauna?”

“Relax, the sauna door was wide open this morning.”

“There, that proves someone was there. She always keeps the door closed.”

“It proves nothing except that we had a bad windstorm last night.”

“But …”

“Jennie, she's not home and I really doubt anyone has been there.” Ryan sounded annoyed, but Jennie didn't care. He sighed and said, “I'll look around tomorrow and give you a call. Don't worry. I'm sure Gram is fine. She's probably relaxing in some luxury lodge in front of a roaring fire, eating popcorn and drinking hot chocolate with friends.”

“I hope not. Gram's allergic to chocolate.”

Ryan laughed. “Oh, yeah, I forgot. Well, herb tea then. At any rate, knowing Gram, I'll bet she's gotten so caught up in writing the article and taking photos that she's blocked everything else out.”

“Maybe, but I still don't think she'd forget Nick's birthday.”

“She's getting older, Jennie. Could be her memory's going.”

“I doubt it, but I suppose it's possible. Aunt Kate thought she'd forgotten to tell us where she was staying in Canada.” Jennie yawned and stretched under the covers.

“You sound tired. I'd better hang up and let you get to sleep. Anyway, I'll bet she'll call tomorrow.”

“Hope you're right.”

“I know I am. But I'll give the house a thorough search and call you. Okay?”

“Thanks, Ryan. I really need to find Gram, even if it's just to talk to her. Things are going a little crazy here.”

“Hmmm. Then I wish you were here. We could go for a walk on the beach. The moon's bright tonight. Surf looks like one of those oil paintings where you can almost see through the waves.”

“Sounds wonderful.”
And romantic
. She didn't dare say the last part out loud. Ryan wasn't interested in her romantically. She and Ryan liked a lot of the same things—reading, writing, beachcombing, exploring. But they were just friends. He'd never even kissed her. Even so, Jennie let her imagination conjure up a picture of the two of them, hand in hand on the moonlit beach.

“Jennie? Are you still there?”

She smiled. “Uh, huh. I was just enjoying the beach scene you described.”

“Good. Hold those thoughts and try not to worry. And … um … I'll call you tomorrow.”

After hanging up, Jennie concentrated on visions of moonlight and imagined herself and Ryan watching the waves. She could almost hear the pounding surf. It almost erased the image of Mom kissing Michael. Almost stopped her from worrying about Gram. Almost.

Jennie awakened to the sound of birds chirping. A rose-colored morning reached through the slats of the ivory miniblinds. The red digital numbers on the radio alarm told her it was only five-thirty. Jennie didn't usually get up for another hour, so she untangled the mess of twisted sheets and snuggled back under the covers. After about ten minutes of trying to go back to sleep, she gave up, shrugged into her robe, and slipped down to the kitchen to fix a cup of peppermint tea. She brought it back upstairs and climbed onto her window seat.

Jennie loved her room, with all its angles and the sloped ceiling. Mom had one just like it on the other side of the house, and Nick had the little square one in the middle. Aunt Kate had helped her decorate it after Jennie showed her a picture of what she wanted from an
Ethan Allen
catalog. Aunt Kate had wanted to go with a more vivid color scheme, but Jennie insisted that the wild colors Kate had picked would have driven her crazy. They'd ended up with ivory lace and floral prints, with burgundy and forest green accents. Mom thought it had too many frills, but Jennie liked it—especially the cushiony window seats. She leaned against a pile of pillows and pulled up the blinds to watch the birds flit around in the maple tree. She sipped the warm tea and thought about the day before.

Maybe she was numb, or not quite awake, but yesterday's memories seemed almost as fuzzy as the patches of mist rising from the cool ground. For a few minutes Jennie wondered if it had all been a bad dream.

Too soon, the haziness in her head cleared.
My mother, Susan McGrady, wife of Jason McGrady, is dating a guy named Michael Rhodes
. Nick thought Michael was the answer to his prayers. Jennie shook her head. If Michael really was God's answer to Nick's prayer … No. God wouldn't be that cruel. Would He? God was going to answer her prayers for
her
dad. Not a substitute. Michael's coming was just a coincidence—a terrible coincidence.

If only Gram would call. Jennie needed to talk things over with her. But what if she was missing? What if she really was in trouble?

“I've got to find her,” Jennie murmured to the fat koala bear that leaned against a ruffled pillow. She picked him up and rubbed her face against his soft fur.

“Jennie?” Mom tapped on the door. “Are you awake?”

“Be down in a minute.”

She sat there a little longer, trying to get the misty morning feelings back. Unfortunately, her mood had gotten as cold as the tea, so she dragged herself out of the window, showered, dressed, and headed downstairs.

“How long will you be in school this morning?” Mom asked as she buttered Nick's toast.

“About two hours.” Jennie mashed her poached eggs into the hash browns and reached for the salt and pepper. “I have an assignment to finish in chemistry lab today, and I need to pick up some books at the library. I should be home about ten.”

“That's perfect,” Mom said. “I have an appointment downtown at ten-thirty, so you'll need to run Nick to school.”

Jennie nodded, thinking how weird it seemed to be having such a normal conversation after what had happened yesterday. Mom didn't mention Michael, so Jennie didn't either. Maybe Mom was having second thoughts.

At seven-thirty Jennie pulled up in front of Lisa's house.

“You okay?” Lisa asked in an out-of-breath voice as she tossed her books in the backseat and climbed in the front.

Jennie shrugged, waited for a car to go past, then eased onto the street. “I've been better. Did Gram call you guys last night?”

“No,” Lisa said as she snapped her seat belt into place. “Mom was talking about calling the police and filing a missing person's report if she didn't hear from her today.”

“Good idea. I talked to Ryan last night and he didn't seem too worried. I don't know, though. I just can't get over the feeling that something's wrong.”

“You worry too much.” Lisa pushed a stray curl off her forehead. “Remember last year when Gram went to Mexico and came back a week late?”

Jennie nodded. Did she
ever
remember! “I don't even like to think about it. Gram could have been killed.”

“You don't still believe that story, do you?”

She did. They had all gone to pick Gram up at the airport. Gram was wearing one of those huge sombreros and a bright pink gauze dress with a floral print shawl. She had practically danced all the way down the concourse. Later at dinner she told them a wild story about a gang of drug dealers who had kidnapped her and held her prisoner on a marijuana plantation because they thought she was a federal narcotics agent.

“Well, do you?” Lisa asked again.

“Part of it. I still wonder if maybe the kidnapping wasn't a mistake—that maybe she really was an agent.”

“Oh, yeah. I remember our talking about that. We were really heavy into those Mrs. Pollifax mysteries then. We thought maybe Gram was working for the FBI too. But we were only fifteen. You don't still believe that, do you?”

“Why shouldn't I? It makes perfect sense. I mean, why else would she go to the Middle East? Remember that? She didn't even write an article about that trip.”

“Still,” Lisa said, “Gram's too old to be a spy. Maybe when she was younger, but at her age? She probably made the whole thing up so she wouldn't have to admit that she'd lost track of time.”

Jennie sighed. “Maybe. Then again, maybe not.” As they pulled into the school parking lot, she told Lisa about Gram's answering machine.

Lisa shrugged. “It was probably a malfunction like Ryan said. Anyway, I've got to run. Wish me luck. I have a test in algebra.”

“Are you sure you don't want me to pray?” Jennie asked. “Between Mr. Olsen's algebra tests and your love for math, you'll need a lot more than wishes.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Lisa muttered as she jumped out of the car, collected her books, and jogged toward the building.

Jennie grinned, thinking how much Gram and Aunt Kate and Lisa were alike—not in looks, but in personality—always in a hurry, as if they're running late even when they weren't. Jennie shook her head and retrieved her book bag and notebook, then headed across the parking lot. It sure was nice not to be taking Mr. Olsen's test with Lisa. Jennie had finished up that module two weeks ago. She still had some assignments to finish, but the hardest part was over.

Mom had transferred Jennie to Trinity at the beginning of seventh grade, after getting into a major battle over what she called “the public school system's inflexibility.” Since Mom worked nearly full time as a bookkeeper, she wanted Jennie home to babysit Nick when she had to be gone. Jennie attended school for a couple of hours three days a week. The rest of the time she used a home-school program.

At first Jennie had hated it. Home school was so different from what everyone else was doing. Now she thought it was great. She liked being in the same school as Lisa, and Jennie loved the freedom. Since she worked at her own pace, she would finish her sophomore year two weeks earlier than kids taking regular classes.

As Jennie pushed open the office door, Mrs. Talbot's high-pitched voice brought her thoughts back to the present. “Hello, Jennie. I was just thinking about you. Coach Haskel left a message for you to call him about being on the girls' basketball team next year, and you need to set up a time to take your SATs.” She went back to her desk to retrieve the notes. “Oh, and this letter came for you this morning.”

“For me? Here?”

She handed Jennie two green memos and a square envelope. “Struck me funny too,” Mrs. Talbot said as she squeezed into a chair and scooted up to her desk. “Especially since we don't give out students' names. Who's it from?”

Jennie glanced at the envelope. “I don't know. It doesn't have a return address.” After signing the attendance register, she hurried out to the hall, slipped the memos into her notebook, and fingered the peach-colored envelope. The writing looked familiar. Her hands shook as she tore open the envelope and unfolded the card.

Dear Jennie:

I'm sorry I haven't been able to call. If anything happens to me, I want you to have the bracelet we found last summer.

Love you, Gram

Jennie felt as if she'd been plopped in the middle of a Nancy Drew mystery. First Gram didn't show up for Nick's birthday, then that business with her answering machine, and now this.

Maybe Gram
was
getting senile. Jennie frowned and rubbed her forehead. The bracelet, an antique she and Gram had found in a crawl space at the back of Gram's closet, was tucked away in Jennie's jewelry box. Gram had given it to her the day they'd found it.

What did she mean, “if anything happened to her”? What could happen? Jennie shoved the note into an inner compartment of her book bag and headed slowly down the empty hall. Her footsteps echoed on the linoleum-covered concrete floor. She concentrated on the sound so she wouldn't think too much about Gram—so she wouldn't get scared and panic.

After turning in her term paper for history, Jennie headed for the chemistry lab to do an analysis of Dr. Adam's mystery liquid. She had managed to stash Gram's note out of sight, but her mind kept dredging it up. Why would Gram write a note about a bracelet she already had? Was it a clue? A secret code?

The bad part about worrying over Gram and her strange message was that it took Jennie three tries to discover that the yellowish substance was CO(NH
2
)
2
—urine. The good part was that even though the bunsen burner had turned her first analysis to charcoal, she hadn't blown up the lab.

Jennie went through the rest of the day in a daze, trying to figure out what had happened to Gram. After dropping Nick off at preschool, Jennie decided Gram was a secret agent for the FBI, working on a case—maybe one involving an old bracelet. By the time she got home, Jennie was convinced that Gram had been kidnapped by terrorists and they'd never see her again.

A phone call from Michael brought an end to Jennie's mind maze. She told him Mom wasn't home, and she didn't know when to expect her.

“Have her give me a call,” he said. “And Jennie, tell her not to make dinner. I'd like to take you all out for pizza.”

“I'll tell her,” Jennie said as she tried to think of an excuse not to go. In the end, after Mom threatened to take away her driving privileges if she didn't go peacefully, they all piled into Michael's metallic gray BMW.

Jennie liked his car and wondered how nice she'd have to be to talk him into letting her drive it sometime. The minute the thought escaped, Jennie crushed it. Michael was the enemy; she needed to remember that.

They ordered a large combination pizza with no green peppers or anchovies. Not only did Jennie act like the perfect daughter, she managed not to throw it all up when Michael slid his arm around Mom and whispered something in her ear. Mom giggled and scooted away.