Torn (31 page)

Finally reaching for her hand, I pulled her from the couch. She never said a word as she followed me up the stairs, down the hall and into her bedroom. She was defeated and it showed, not only on her face but in her posture, as well. Her beautiful eyes were red and puffy, her nose stuffed up from continuously crying.

Quickly undressing her, I pulled the covers back and helped her to bed. Once all of my clothes were shed, I joined her, pulling her close so she knew she was safe.

She would always be safe with me.

****

“But you don’t understand, Eli. How can I be upset with my mom when I did the same thing to Holden?” She turned on her side because she didn’t want to face me, her guilt and shame eating at her the more she looked me in the eyes.

“You came back, baby,” I soothed, turning her onto her back again. “You told me about Holden, and him about me. It’s different.” I was trying to convince her that her situation wasn’t the same, but there were too many similarities. And we both knew it.

“But if I hadn’t been running away from Max, you still wouldn’t know you had a son.” Tears fell from her eyes at her own admission. She was telling me the truth, even though I still held out hope that she would have eventually told me. But I simply didn’t know the answer to that what if question.

“Don’t do that. Don’t play out a scenario which doesn’t exist. You returned home. We know about each other now. I’ve forgiven you, Holden holds no grudge against you and we’re all in a better place because of everything that’s happened.”

I wanted nothing more than to forget the night before, but it had to play out. Kalista needed to work through it in order to heal. And I would be there for her every step of the way.

“What did your mom say? About your dad?”

“He’s not my father,” she gritted.

“Sorry. You’re right.” Stroking her hair, I remained silent until she wanted to talk about it.

Thankfully, it didn’t take long.

“She told me what she always did. That she had an affair with him, although I didn’t know it was for two years, got pregnant with me and he took off. She said she left out the part of him being involved in that club on purpose, knowing I would try and find him at some point, and she didn’t want me anywhere near those people.” Trying to assuage her nerves, she blurted, “I guess she was trying to keep me safe, just as he was doing by forgetting all about us.”

A single tear danced down her cheek. “It’ll be okay,” I promised, wiping away her distress with my thumb. “I’m here for you.”

Grabbing my wrist, she placed my palm on her cheek, leaning into it to find comfort. “How did I get so lucky?” she whispered.

I was the lucky one. No doubt about it.

I pulled back from her touch. I needed her undivided attention right then, and when we were touching, we were both lost to a world of need and desire. “There is something I want to talk to you about.”

Sitting up in bed, she pulled her knees to her chest, her eyes focused on my face as I continued to speak. I knew it probably wasn’t the right time, but I couldn’t hold back any longer. Plus, I figured the distraction was exactly what she needed.

“I want you and Holden to move in with me.” There. I said it. Finally. I’d been thinking about it ever since the night we’d had sex, the night I finally let go of my hurt and anger and forgave her. I wanted nothing more than to be with my family. To go to sleep each night next to the woman I loved, and to wake up next to her beautiful face. To be able to make breakfast for Holden in the morning, take him to school and hang out with him—with them both—after work was something I desperately wanted. No…needed to move forward.

Hesitation tripped her words. “Eli…I…I don’t think we’re there yet.” A strand of her hair fell over her eyes, and she tucked it behind her ear before speaking again. She looked hesitant but pushed forward, knowing I wasn’t going to let up until we’d had this conversation in its entirety.

“I beg to differ,” I responded, keeping a light tone to my voice. Touching her chin, I tilted her head so she couldn’t look away. “Kalista, do you love me?” It was a simple question, and I prayed she gave me the answer I was longing for.

“Yes, I do. But is it enough to take such a big step so soon?”

“We belong together. Always have. And I want nothing more than to have you and Holden under the same roof with me. If I had my way, I would take you there right now.”

“Let me think about it, okay?” she asked. However, as soon as she saw my fallen face, she quickly added, “I just don’t want to ruin anything.”

“Okay, think about it. But in the meantime, let’s take a shower.”

Walking toward her bathroom, she stopped me and turned me around to face her. “Eli? Do you love me?” Her lip disappeared between her teeth as she waited for my answer. But didn’t she already know?

Bringing my lips to hers, I professed my feelings for the woman who had once destroyed me, but then brought me back to life.

“Yes. I love you. I loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll love you forever.”

Somehow, I have a feeling she is going to give me her answer soon than later.

KALISTA

“H
olden, help me with the last of the boxes, please!” I yelled, pulling him away from my mother. Looking around her house, my childhood home, I was sad to leave. But my future looked bright. A smile appeared rather easily as I thought of all the possibilities of a life with Eli. We would all be under one roof as of that evening, and while I was nervous, I was also thrilled.

When I’d returned home, I never envisioned the path my life would take, not only for me but for my dear son, as well. He’d been granted the opportunity to know his father and build a strong bond of love and trust. And I’d been given a do-over, it seemed.

While I’d laughed in Fate’s face years before, she came back around and gave me everything I’d ever hoped and dreamed of. I was proof it was never too late to make things right. Although the situation with Max was dire and extremely dangerous, I wouldn’t change a thing. It was because of him, and what he’d ultimately forced me to do, that I returned home and started living again, for the first time since I’d left as a scared, pregnant nineteen-year-old. Thinking I knew what was best for Eli back then only proved how naïve I’d been.

I should have trusted in our love for each other…for his undying love for me.

“This one?” he asked, pointing to a large box on the dining room table.

“Yes. Those are my books.” My hands were filled with a few bags of toiletries as well as some clothes; otherwise I would have grabbed the box myself. I was adamant about doing as much for myself as possible, even when Eli and Holden both insisted otherwise.

Eli wanted to be there to help move what little belongings we had, but he was kept late at work. The irritation in his voice was quickly dismissed once I told him he could make it up to me. When he asked me how, I remained silent. Mainly because I wanted him to use his imagination, but also because our son was standing close by. But he didn’t have to know that fact.

“Oh, no,” Holden teased. “Are you sure you trust me with your precious books?”

“Very cute,” I said, nodding toward the front door. “My books are precious to me, but not as precious as you.”

“Love you, too, Mom,” he called over his shoulder as he walked out of the house.

****

After a long day of re-organizing Eli’s house, making room for my things as well as settling in Holden, I was beat. Luckily, Holden didn’t have much, already having his own room at his father’s house long before we moved in.

“What shall we eat for dinner?” I asked, reaching for my phone and waiting for my son to answer me. Before he could decide, my cell rang, a picture of Eli and Holden appearing on the screen. I’d taken the photo two weeks prior and I loved it so much, I’d immediately made it Eli’s caller ID picture.

“Hello,” I answered breathlessly, reaching into the fridge to grab some grapes.

“Well, hello there,” he said, his raspy voice instantly making me crave him. Desperately. “Are you alone? Are you naked in our bed, touching yourself?”

Straightening up, I popped a grape in my mouth, silence greeting him until I figured out what to say. His questions didn’t shock me. Not anymore. He was very brazen with me, whether it be over the phone or in person. No matter where I was, alone or not, he found ways to entice me. A soft whisper in my ear, a possessive caress or a ravaging kiss. No one was any the wiser, at least I thought so, anyway.

Swallowing the piece of succulent fruit, I licked my lips and moaned, “How did you know I was touching myself?” The dead air was proof I’d shocked the hell out of him. I knew he wanted me to up the ante with the sex talk, but this was the first time I felt comfortable enough to say something back to him.

Holden was upstairs in his room, and I was, in fact, alone. Taking the stairs quickly, I hurried down the long hallway until I came upon Eli’s bedroom—our bedroom.

Closing and locking the door behind me, I kicked off my shoes and socks, yanked my jeans down, bouncing on one foot then the other, all while trying to appear calm and not as if I was balancing the phone to my ear as I danced around like a crazy lady.

“Fuck,” he finally whispered. “Are you serious?” His tone was hopeful and since that was exactly what I planned on doing, I didn’t lie to him. Not exactly.

Placing the phone on the bed while I tore off my shirt and bra, I laid on the bed before putting it back to my ear. In the sexiest voice I could muster, I gave him what he’d been hinting at for some time.

“I’m lying on our bed, naked but for my tiny, lace panties,” I teased. “Do you want me to take them off?”

His reply was instant. “No. Leave them on.” I heard him shuffling some papers around and realized he was obviously still at work.

“Are you alone?” I asked, hoping to God no one was in his office with him. I knew he wouldn’t talk to me in such a way in front of clients, but if Mike or one of his brothers were there, there was no telling what he would do. He would probably say something dirty to me while ushering them out of his office.

“Yes, I’m alone. The door is locked and my zipper is down,” he promised. “Now. Where were we?”

I heard the creak of his chair and my imagination ran wild. I envisioned his dress shirt pulled up, revealing his tantalizing stomach. His pants opened just enough so he could pull himself free, stroking his thickness each time I spoke.

The look on Eli’s face when he was in the chaos of passion was a sight to behold. His eyes half-closed, drugged in desire, his teeth working over his bottom lip, then popping it loose and accentuating its fullness. The pure image of him alone was enough to make me wet. Although his voice was lethal, as well.

“You wanted me to leave my panties on,” I reminded him. “I’ll just move them to the side while I stroke myself.” His breath hitched in my ear, and I knew he was working on himself. “Ahhhhh…yeah. Oh, my God, that feels so good,” I purred. “I wish you were here with me right now. Your face buried between my legs, your tongue torturing me until I come in your mouth.” My words made me slicker, bringing me closer and closer to detonating.

“Goddamn it, baby. That’s so hot. Where the hell is all of this coming from?” His breaths came in short spurts. “Never mind. Just wait until I get home.” The air in the room was suddenly thick with longing, the image of him pleasuring himself the best aphrodisiac. “I’m gonna fuck you so good. Do you want my cock, baby? Tell me now,” he demanded. He was close; I could hear it.

“Yessssss,” I moaned. I applied more pressure to my clit, my orgasm just within reach. All I needed was his voice to push me over. “Tell me what to do. Tell me how to fuck myself.” The familiar pull barreled through me the more I teased myself. “I’m so close. Tell me,” I begged.

“Stick two fingers deep inside your tight pussy. Imagine they’re my fingers as you fuck yourself,” he groaned. The only sounds to be heard were our ragged breaths and the pounding of my heart as I chased my release.
      

Doing as he demanded, I filled myself, circling my clit with my thumb until pleasure struck me. Arching my back, I let the phone fall to the bed as I moaned, “Ohhhhh…I’m coming!” I cried out. “I’m coming.”

Then I went silent.

My orgasm sent me into another world. I barely heard Eli as he shouted his own release into the phone, but it was only seconds later when I heard him say, “Breathe, baby. Breathe.”

Every single time I came, my breath caught in my throat. I wasn’t sure if ceasing to take in oxygen elongated my orgasm, or if it heightened it in any way. Either way, I was too consumed with the pleasure of it that expelling air from my lungs always seemed like an afterthought.

When we both were finally able to speak again, all thoughts of sex were gone. From me, at least. I was starving. “Babe, can you pick up some pizza on the way home?”

He chuckled into the phone at my request. “Sure thing. But make no mistake, I’m having you for dessert.”

“You promise?” I teased, placing my feet on the floor and walking toward the bathroom.

“See you soon. Love you, baby.”