Torn (14 page)

He was breathtaking.

My heart skipped a beat as I watched them both, their smiles the exact same, just decades apart.

“Eli Warner. It’s a pleasure to meet you, son.” The implication of his words were not lost on me. I pleaded with my eyes to not say anything, and thankfully, he didn’t. Not right then, anyway.

“My middle name is Eli,” he awed. My eyes widened while I waited for some kind of eruption, but thankfully nothing happened.

After countless seconds of them staring at each other, I broke the unnerving silence by clearing my throat. “Honey, Eli is an old friend who heard I was back in town and stopped by to say hello.” Moving behind my son, I placed my hands on his shoulders and ushered him from the room. “Let me say goodnight to him and I’ll start dinner.” My actions were a little rude, but I had to do something before it all became too much and Eli blurted out just what
son
really meant. Calling over his shoulder, he said, “Nice to meet you Mr. Warner.”
Ever the polite kid.

“My pleasure. I’ll see you again soon, I’m sure.” As I walked back toward the kitchen and approached the man from my past, I saw every muscle in his body tense up. Eli was livid, and there was no way he was going to leave quietly. “I have every right to march up those stairs and tell that boy I’m his father.” His hands gripped the edge of the kitchen island, the flesh of his skin losing all color in his anger.

“I know, but please…don’t. Just give me some time to think of what to say to him.” Lowering my head, I repeated, “I just need some time.”

“You’ve had thirteen fucking years to tell him.” Pushing himself away from the counter, he glared at me, struggling to rein in his temper so he didn’t lose control and start yelling again. Explaining the noise as excitement again wouldn’t fly. “You tell him tonight, Kalista. I mean it. I’ll be back tomorrow evening. I’m not letting one more day go by without getting to know my son.”

Before I could beg for more time, or apologize again, or ask for forgiveness, or a thousand other things streaming on a loop through my head, things I’d wanted to purge for a long time, the front door slammed shut, and I was left standing there trying to figure out what the hell I was going to tell Holden.

ELI

W
hat the hell just happened?

When I’d driven to Kalista’s mother’s house, the only thing I’d been hoping for was to catch a glimpse of my former flame. Nothing more, realizing when and if I saw her, I would decide then how I wanted to proceed.

But never in a million years did I ever imagine I would have walked out of her house a father, my world flipping on its goddamn ass without so much as a warning. I thought her leaving me all those years back was the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Boy, was I wrong.

I have a son. A thirteen-year-old son, for Christ’s sake. It was both the worst and best news I had ever received. Every part of me wanted to rip into her for being selfish all these years, keeping father and son apart from each other, denying us both the truth while shielding herself from the inconvenience of having to deal with me after she left. There was no excuse good enough which could warrant such an action. None. But I had to admit, I couldn’t wait to hear what lies she was going to tell me when I stopped by their house again the following evening.

Holden. She named the boy after me. Sort of. That had to mean something, even though she gave him her last name.

Well, that’s going to be changing as soon as I can arrange it. My son is a Warner, through and through, and there’s no more denying it.

My head was really messed up. I had no idea how to handle my situation, and I desperately needed to talk to someone. My first thought was to stop by Mike’s house, but then I thought better of it. I still owed him for setting me up by meeting with Marek, never giving me any warning whatsoever. Dick. Plus, besides the unexpected drama of his sister Sierra being pregnant, he didn’t know anything about dealing with something of this magnitude. All the man does is work and fuck.

As the scenery whizzed by, the road seeming as if it would never end, I found myself pulling into Drayden’s driveway. It was dark out but it wasn’t too late, although since my brother was in full domestication mode, he might consider it rude to stop by at this hour. Once he learned the reason for my visit, though, I was sure my interruption would be forgiven.

Out of everyone I knew, he would understand what it was like to suddenly become a father. No planning. No expectations.

The history between him and his wife was still very much a mystery to our entire family, never revealing more about the way they met or why they despised each other so much in the beginning. Thankfully, they’d both seen the light and grew to love each other deeply.

Essie had become pregnant very early on in their relationship, but tragically, she had lost the baby, which was a devastating time for not only them but for the rest of our family, as well. We’d been so happy to see Drayden start to live again after losing his fiancée years prior. And although he’d lost his son before he was born, he was there during the twins’ pregnancy and birth, and every day since.

Ringing the doorbell, I prayed I didn’t wake my beautiful nieces; if I did, I was sure both of their parents were going to give me hell. As my finger covered the button again, the door opened and in the entryway stood my lovely sister-in-law.

“Eli,” she greeted. “What are you doing here?” She was smiling, but her expression faltered when she took a good look at me. Pulling me inside, she closed the door behind us and immediately pulled me into her warm embrace. I knew I gave Drayden shit, always teasing him when it came to Essie, but that time I really needed her affections. I was so fucked-up all I wanted to do was close my eyes and know someone else was there to comfort me. “What’s wrong, honey? You can tell me.”

Silence.

I had no idea what to say. I was tongue-tied because everything I wanted to tell her was going to come out wrong and mean, although I had every right to react in such a manner.

“Really?” I heard a gruff voice asking from a few feet away. “You show up at all hours of the night and instantly accost my wife?”

“It’s nine-thirty, you ass.”

“Whatever,” he dismissed, quickly approaching, his stride never faltering until he reached us—or to be more correct, his wife. Essie released me and I stepped back, my head still lowered so they couldn’t see the pure anguish hidden on my face. Well, I guessed it wasn’t totally hidden since my expression caused Essie to comfort me in the first place.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” his wife offered. “But if you need me, Eli,” she said, patting my arm, “you be sure to come and get me.” She leaned into her husband and argued, “I mean it. Dray, don’t mess around tonight. Something is really wrong.” While she whispered her parting sentiment to my brother, I heard them loud and clear.

Something is wrong. They have no idea.

As I heard Essie’s retreating footsteps, Drayden threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his den, releasing me before walking toward the liquor cabinet.

Plopping down on the couch, I slouched forward and cradled my head in my hands. Where do I even start?

I never asked for a drink, but my brother knew whatever was going on with me required a little help, of the liquor persuasion. Bumping my shoulder, he shoved the glass into my hand before taking a seat at the opposite end of the couch.

“So,” he started, “what’s going on, big brother?” His tone was light, fearing if he pushed too hard I would explode or something. And maybe he was right. I had no idea how to handle or compute this new information.

Taking a healthy sip from my drink, I raised my head and found his worried stare. Normally, my family referred to me as the carefree one, the jovial one, and the smartass. Usually, I would agree. But right then, I felt like a stranger, even to myself.

“I’m a father.”

Three little words, yet they held such a profound impact. I felt as if the life I’d been living up until then had been a lie. My existence for the past thirteen years had been a series of meaningless encounters with women, all the while doing my best to mask the pain and hurt which swirled around inside me, destroying any chance I had at another relationship with the opposite sex.

All because of her.

And she’d managed to do something even worse. She’d kept my son hidden from me for over a decade, depriving me of the opportunity to help raise, teach and love my child.

I heard Drayden choke on his drink. Apparently, he was in mid-swallow when I blurted that out. Nothing surprised him, so I smirked at the chance to do so.

“What do you mean? You’re going to be a father, or you already are one? Who is the woman? Is it someone you fucked around with briefly? What am I saying…of course it is. You don’t stay with anyone longer than, what is it, three months? Not since Kalista, at least.”

I was shocked he chose to ramble so much, but then again I never came to talk to him about my personal life, so I was positive he was just as out of his element with the topic as I was.

“What’s with the twenty questions, man?”

“You can’t drop a bomb like that on me and expect nothing. So, spill it.” He knocked back the rest of his drink, reached for mine, finished it as well then walked toward the decanter and poured us both some more.

“I’m not sure if you know this or not, but Kalista’s moved back. She’s staying with her mom.” Looking at his confused expression, I quickly filled him in with as much as I knew. “Mike told me he ran into her a couple of weeks ago at a coffee shop. But it took me that long to gather the courage to make an attempt to see her.” I ran my hands up and down my thighs, praying the back-and-forth motion would calm me.

“I totally understand, Eli. She fucked you up pretty good when she took off.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “She did.” Clutching my chest, I asked, “Do you know what it’s like to have someone betray you like this?”

He nodded, and relaxed in his seat. “Yeah, I do, brother,” he confessed. “Although yours is a different scenario by far, I can relate to the onslaught of emotions you’re probably feeling right now.”

Shit! I forgot about the situation between him and Essie in the beginning of their relationship. He’d made reference to her betrayal only once in my presence, after we’d come to blows because of the way he’d been treating her, but he never revealed the full story. And never will. Whatever transpired between the two of them will stay hidden from everyone else.

A few seconds passed before either one of us spoke again. Deciding it was best to blurt out the rest of my story, my lips parted and I told him what happened next. “I finally gathered my nerve and drove to her mom’s house, parking down the street until I decided on a game plan. I had no idea what I was going to do or say when I finally saw her. I was going over all different scenarios in my head when I realized a car had pulled into the driveway. Then I saw her. It was as if no time had passed, and I was looking at the love of my life as if I was nineteen again.”

Shaking away the distant memories didn’t make anything I was going to say any better…or worse. “She was unloading the groceries from the trunk when a young boy came outside to help her.” Gripping the back of my neck to try and assuage my knotted muscles, I grunted, “Fuck, Dray. He looks just like me. She even named him after me. His name is Holden Eli.”

I stopped talking then, the image of Holden flashing through my head at warp speed. He’d gone his whole life probably thinking his father didn’t want to have anything to do with him. And I…I didn’t even know he existed. Anger and sadness battled together, destroying me even more than I already was.

Seeing my brother’s hand over his mouth only drove home how astonishing my new situation really was. To be able to shock Drayden was certainly a feat.

“What did you do?” he asked, leaning closer to make sure he didn’t miss a thing.

“Once she saw me, she practically ran in the house with him. I didn’t think, I simply reacted. There was no way I was leaving without getting the answers I deserved. She let me in, I confronted her and she admitted the boy is mine. She asked for time to tell him and I told her I would be back tomorrow night. She has until then. That’s the long and short of it,” I finished, praying talking about it would help to relieve some of the emotional trauma I was experiencing.

Blowing out my frustration, my hands found my head again, my fingers raking through my disheveled hair in helplessness. I had no idea what was going to happen next, besides Holden finding out the man he met briefly was in fact his father.

I could see Drayden trying to compute something, his lips moving in silence as his eyes furrowed in concentration. I knew what he was trying to figure out.

“Thirteen, Dray. Holden’s thirteen.” Standing, I walked toward the large bay window. Looking out into the silence of the night, my mind was blank. Too much information had been discovered that night, and my brain was in the process of trying to sort through it all.

Well, I have twenty-four hours to figure out my next move.