Totally Fishy (A Miller Sisters Mystery) (33 page)

"Good job, Sam. Uh, would you mind giving me a hand here?"

She placed the gun on the floor and scraped the hair out of her eyes. "Sure, what do you need? Say, Buzz, who is that under your foot?"

I looked down and realized I still had my foot between the shoulder blades of the guy on the floor. "I don't know, but Armand needs an ice pack and I need rope or something so I can tie him up right." I gestured with my gun to the now moaning man on the floor.

"By doze isss broke," Armand wailed.

Sam sprang into action and hopped over my prisoner into the kitchen. I took that moment to pat down our new bad guy for weapons. I pulled him into a sitting position and dragged him out of the doorway by the collar. I propped him against the wall and held the gun on him.

I noticed he was at least a well-dressed bad guy. He had on and a nice yellow golf shirt tucked into a new pair of straight-legged jeans. His western boots were gator and his watch a Rolex. I began to get an uneasy feeling about the identity of our perpetrator when Sam rushed through the kitchen door with a bag of frozen peas, a towel, and an extension cord.

She tossed me the extension cord and tended to poor broken-nose Armand. Fred came staggering through the door under the arm of Evo. He leaned heavily on her and never said a word. Pain etched heavily on his face, my heart went out to him. Fred lowered him into a leather recliner and turned to face me. She stood there puffing like a racehorse.

I struggled to tie up our bad guy and yelled, "Hey, Fred, give me a hand with this guy, would you?"

She looked behind her hoping, I guess, that I was talking to someone else. Seeing no one, she stumbled over to the kitchen door. We lifted our prisoner onto a spindle-backed chair and I ripped off the shoelace and pulled his hands through the slats. I tied his hands off the best I could with the extension cord, and then ran it around the front of the chair and Fred tied his feet to the legs. He seemed to be coming around, but he took his sweet time doing it.
What a pansy
.

Fred rushed over to help Sam with Armand, so I checked on Evo. His eyes were still closed but his breathing was slowing to normal. I picked up throw pillows and tucked them around his bad side. Fred and Sam took Armand into the kitchen to clean him up, and I sat across from Evo and waited for him to get past the pain.

He finally opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. "Are we at Sam's? Where is everyone?"

"We're at Sam's, but uh, Armand had a slight mishap. Sam and Fred are patching him up in the kitchen. On the brighter side, we caught ourselves a bad guy." I pointed to the man in the chair.

Evo looked over toward the man in the chair. If he could have paled further, he would have. He became agitated and is mouth dropped open. "Oh-oh-n-no! Noo…n-n-noon…noon, was all that came out.

I looked at my watch. "Boy, you have been out of it, Evo. It's way past noon. It's almost seven p.m.!"

Sweat beaded on his forehead, and I began to become alarmed as Evo began hyperventilating and struggled to get up. "No! No! Noon (pant, pant) noo…noo (pant) Nez!"

At this point I knew I needed help holding him down. A blood spot appeared on his bandage. "Sam, could you come out here please? Evo is ranting and I don't understand."

Sam walked into the room, followed by Fred and Armand sporting a bag of frozen peas on his nose. "Ranting?"

"What was he saying?"

"The last thing he said was no, no, noo, nez."

Evo struggled to pull the pillows from under his injured arm. The man in the chair began to come to. I tried to calm Evo, and Sam took his face into her hands. "Evo, what is no, no, noo-nez?"

She straightened and looked at the guy in the chair. "No, no, noo-nez. No no noonez Oh my God, Buzz! He's saying Nunez. The guy you almost killed over there must be Evo's boss, Ramon Enrique Maldonado Nunez."

Evo rolled his eyes and flopped back in the recliner. He winced as his wound sang.

Sam and I stared in silence as Mr. Nunez, owner of half of Peru or something equally big, opened his eyes. We scrambled over to the chair and clawed at the extension cord, untying the knots currently cutting off the circulation above Nunez's gold Rolex.

"Take anything you want, but please don't hurt me," he mumbled.

I had a great idea. "Sam," I whispered. "Maybe he won't remember that I was the one with the gun to his head. Maybe he'll think we saved him from burglars."

Sam looked skeptical as she used her teeth on a particularly obstinate knot. "I on't oh." She spit out the extension cord. "I don't know, Buzz. He probably saw you. We should just fess up and apologize. He'll understand. Right?"

I dropped the cord. "I think I just got Evo fired and I'm going to spend the rest of my short life in a dirt floor prison cell with tarantulas and an anaconda for company, that's what I think! I'll never see my dogs again. Maybe if I hide, you can say you didn't know me. I ran in and ran out."

"Oh, just shut up and get the man untied," Fred said.

I looked up and Mr. Nunez's face was inches from mine. His eyes were wide open and he said, "Al Capone, I presume?"

I freed his wrists and he rubbed them vigorously. "Buzz Miller, sir. I would like to say that I am truly sorry for mistaking you for a burglar, but we've not had much luck with good will from our fellow man lately."

Maldonado-Nunez raised a brow. "I could see that when I caught a glimpse of Evo's office. I then went to his apartment and saw the same type of damage. I came here next. The back door wasn't locked so I made myself at home and brewed a pot of coffee. My decision to wait for Dr. Fernandini seems not to be one of my better ideas. Never once did I think I would cause so much mayhem. Please accept my apologies, Ms. Miller, Dr. Fernandini, and you as well, Dr. Castillo. I only wanted to help in any way I could."

Fred stood in the kitchen doorway and patted him on the shoulder. "You made coffee, Mr. Nunez. That helps a lot. Thank you." She brought out mugs for everyone and we settled on the sofas and chairs. Sam sat on the arm of Evo's recliner, fussing with his shoulder.

"Now, first things first. My name is Ramon, and that is what I expect to be called." He looked at Fred. "And the Angel of Mercy?"

"Fred Miller, sir. I'm pleased to meet you." She handed him a mug and his eyes followed her across the room.

As he caught himself, he jerked his eyes back to Sam. "Dr. Fernandini, or may I have the honor of calling you Samón?"

"I am just plain old Sam to my friends, sir." She clasped his hand warmly in hers.

"Never plain and certainly not old, my dear, but I will call you, Sam." He raised her hand and kissed it.

I thought Evo felt bad pain or something, as he made a sound like a steam engine bleeding its lines, and almost came up out of his recliner. Sam pulled him back down and sat on his hand. Oh. I thought. I get it now. Evo was jealous. He was marking his territory, and Sam somehow knew it.

"Mr. Nun–Ramon," I said. "We've just returned from Venezuela where we made a few startling discoveries. Would you like to see the pictures I took of an operation called the Devil's Eye Mine? They're still in the camera at the moment, but the screen is large enough to see them clearly."

"I would, of course. Evo and I will view them together." He got up and dragged the oak chair next to Evo's recliner.

Evo signaled for his backpack. "Sir, before we begin, may I?" He dug through the backpack for an envelope addressed to Ramon Nunez. Evo tore it open and handed it to him.

Evo explained. "While I was in and out of the drug haze my colleagues kept me in, I realized that the contents of this envelope are what got my apartment, my office, and an innocent bystander blown up." He poured the contents on his lap. "This," he held up a grey rectangle, "Is my digital recorder. This," he held up a sheaf of paper, "Is my full report to you, along with the research our friends in the States performed before we flew back here." He placed the pictures and lab reports from the water and the village in Nunez's lap.

Nunez went through the pictures. When he came to the churchyard with all the newly dug graves, he dropped the picture in his lap and covered his eyes with his hands. "Evo, tell me we did not do this. Please tell me my corporation did not harm these villagers or their children."

Evo put a hand on Nunez's shoulder. "Sir, I have never known you to disregard people or the environment. The pictures I'm about to show you should explain what happened to that village." He handed the camera to Nunez. "Armand over there with the peas on his nose is a United States government agent, working undercover on a parallel case with ours."

I saw what was coming and made chopping motions at my throat to get Evo to shut up. The pain medication he took must have given him a bad case of motor-mouth, because he ignored my pleas and continued. He pointed in my direction, and I slipped behind Sam. Evo didn't seem to notice. "Buzz, the lady over there who knocked you down and tied you up is a retired police official also from the States and a personal friend. She and Armand hiked another couple of kilometers up the mountain and discovered this mining operation."

Nunez clicked through the pictures. "What is this place, Evo? If it is only a couple of kilometers up from the village, would that not place it on my land? I know of no such mining operation in that area." He looked at the next picture and froze, and sighed. "So this is what you wanted me to see. The peasant who would be king; Hector Chavez."

"I am sorry, sir."

"Don't be sorry, it was my own arrogance which caused this. I promoted him over you because you are such a vital element to my success. I could not bear to pull you from the field and risk sending a lesser man in my name. I tried to ease my conscious by granting you a raise in pay."

Evo started. "Another raise? I don't want another raise."

"Well, you got one. Don't you ever check your finances?" He looked at all of us and continued. "Now because of that one poor decision to promote Chavez, I have put all your lives in jeopardy." He looked at Evo. "I almost had you killed."

Evo shifted in the recliner. "Begging your pardon, sir, but that mine is not a new operation."

He looked through more of the pictures and stopped. "Yes, but that is why your apartment was destroyed and your office blown up isn't it? Because of this mine?"

Evo nodded. "I believe when I reported to Chavez about the lagoon and the village, he thought I was too close to finding out the truth about the mine. That's why the snipers shot at Luis and me. My initial investigation of the lagoon with the dead fish and the deserted village left me with many questions and no answers. I took my work with me when I went on vacation to the States. I also have a habit of copying my field notes and locking them in my safe at work until an investigation is complete. Chavez knows this, and probably sent someone to retrieve them. No record, no Evo, business as usual."

Evo dug in the side pocket of his cargo pants and pulled out a plastic bag. "This time however, I didn't put copies in my safe; I put them in this bag and took them with me. My theory is that when Chavez had his men blow my safe at work and found no papers, he ordered my house safe to be 'checked' as well. My guess is, when they again found no reports, Chavez figured if he eliminated the source," Evo pointed to himself, "he eliminated any further problems."

Evo's story exhausted him, so I took up the tale. "After Evo checked out the village, he went to Site 151 to speak with your foreman, Ron Hansen." Evo nodded and closed his eyes. "A good man and they murdered him."

I continued. "Close as we can figure, when Chavez found out, he had no way of knowing what Evo had told Hansen. We think Chavez subsequently had Hansen murdered and his office ransacked. This is where we came in. Had we been later, we might have been able to avoid getting shot at, but as it was, sooner or later an altercation with the bad guys proved inevitable."

I sat back and let Nunez digest the information. Fred came through with the coffee pot and Nunez absently held out his mug for a refill. He set it down and steepled his hands at his mouth. After a few minutes, he nodded slowly as if he had come to some decision. When he looked up, his eyes bore into Armand's. "Now young man, where do you fit in with all this crazy business?"

Armand took the bag of peas from his nose and said, "Now
that,
sir; is another tale entirely."

27

"My name is Armand Sargetti," He sent me an evil look, "
Not
Spaghettios." I blushed and pointed at Sam and Fred. They tried for innocent looks and pointed back at me.

Armand continued. "I'm an agent with Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms in the United States. I was sent here to investigate arms dealing. I followed a trail, which began in New York, and it took me through Mexico and Central America down here to your neck of the woods and specifically to your corporation. I met up with Dr. Castillo while posing as an environmentalist on sabbatical, and I just happened to be on hand to help out when Evo here got himself in a little hot water over some ferns that grow on trees."

Evo snorted. "Hot water? The truth is I'd have bled to death if Armand hadn't carried me out of that forest after I got myself shot by that maniacal crazy man."

Armand shrugged, "Whatever. I didn't think pounding a sign in the ground warranted shooting someone, but to each his own. Anyway, I found myself liking Dr. Do-Gooder over there, and after the agency did a background investigation, they brought Evo in on the perimeter, sort-of like a civilian inside man. Neither of us thought you or your companies were involved in the arms trading, but the trail kept leading back to your door."