Totally Fishy (A Miller Sisters Mystery) (15 page)

"Chickens?"

"Clunk?"

"He means cluck, but he never gets it right. Dumb bird doesn't even make a good chicken."

"Dumb?"

"Bird?"

The squawk coming from the tree made me hop behind Ian. I knew what was coming.

"Dumb Bird. Pitty Bird. Pitty Dumb Bird." The banana palm shook again and out flew a giant Cockatoo. Sam and Fred came rushing out of the rain forest just in time to watch the bird come in for a crash landing. He skidded the length of a long steel table. Sliding to a stop near the two men, the bird began making "
yummy
" noises and buried his head in Evo's pocket.

Side-stepping the probing beak, Evo danced out of reach. "Hey, don't you ever feed this poor guy?"

Ian cocked an eyebrow. "Poor guy my ass. That begging thing was Mag's doing. She plays hide the treat, and now," he pointed to the cockatoo, "That little criminal has become an accomplished pickpocket."

Fred laughed. "Glad to see he's picked up some other bad habits since you took him."

Sam stepped closer. "Oh, Ian, he is so beautiful. What do you call him?"

Ian grumbled. "I try not to call him anything in his presence." His voice lowered to a whisper. "But his name is Kitty. He's very annoying about it. Go ahead, Sam, he doesn't bite, but he's such a pig he may accidentally grab some skin. That's why we can't have him in the children's section, and I've never caged him, so here he stays. We call him the local color–when I'm not cussing at him, that is."

Sam grabbed a peanut out of a dish and stepped closer. Kitty cocked his head and lifted his crown. His sharp beak opened and closed while his black tongue worked back and forth.

Sam lowered her voice and held out the peanut. She waited until Kitty moved toward her. "Hello, Kitty."

Kitty jumped a couple of inches off the table and shook his head. Ian shook his head and sighed, "Oh no, here we go."

Kitty suddenly flapped his wings and cocked a baleful eye toward Sam. He swooped in on the peanut and screeched, "Here Kitty, Kitty,
Kitty
.
Heeere
Kitty."

Sam wisely let go of the peanut while Kitty snatched it and hopped back toward Ian. He stuffed it into his mouth. "
Shee-it
. Them's some fiiiine vittles," he said while he spit peanut and shell across the table.

We were all staring at Ian and he held up his hands. "Uh, that's the other reason he can't be around kids. I swear I didn't teach him most of what he says."

"That's why he's back living here and not at the store with me anymore. Some of the customers found his language a bit offensive."

"He's adorable. Sam giggled as she held out a bit of mango. Kitty was suddenly her best friend, chatting away at the top of his lungs as he gorged himself on the fruit.

Ian pointed to a stainless steel sink so Sam could wash up, and said to us, "Ready to see my space?"

Sam turned, "Not really, but I guess I can visit my new friend later."

We reluctantly left Kitty to his own devices and followed Ian out of the science center.

Ian headed back to his mysterious locked building, leaving the rest of us to help Mag close up the nature center Five minutes later, the heavy door cycled and we passed into a glass-enclosed vestibule. Here we donned paper coveralls, hairnets, gloves, and booties because Ian ran a clean-room which was as sterile as he could make it. I thought about getting him going by threatening to bring the dogs for a visit.

I strolled up to where he looked into a microscope and patted him on the shoulder. "Hey, Plant Boy, how's it photosynthesizing?"

Ian looked up and blinked. "It's photosynthesizing just fine in here, Buzz. How'd you like Maggie's project?"

"Awesome."

"Fantastic."

"Like another world."

Ian smiled with pride. "Mag's got the donations rolling in and can't wait to open. Do you think the old ladies are going to be very disappointed to find out they have been protesting a nature lab and not a den of iniquity?"

I laughed out loud. "They'll find something else to bitch about, rest assured, but Mary is going to awful disappointed that she can't audition on a real pole."

Ian looked startled. "What? N-never mind." He turned to J.J. "How's the bad guy business in town? All quiet down at Sal's?"

I piped up. "Crime has to stay on hold for a while because we stole the Sheriff."

Ian shook hands with J.J. "Good to know. I feel safer already."

Sam looked at the slides Ian had made from the dead Endlers. Ian had extracted the contents of the fish's bellies. He pulled one slide out of the lineup and placed it under a microscope.

Sam did the same and asked, "Ian, what exactly are you looking for over here?"

"I thought if I could identify plant matter in their digestive systems, I could test for any toxins in that plant matter. Very interesting things I'm finding. First, I'm finding heavy metal toxins such as mercury and cyanide–enough to kill a much larger animal."

He pointed to a white board listing the contents of the water as well as the plant molecules in the fish bellies. He had the toxins figured out by parts per million. The math made me dizzy, but the words cyanide and mercury were enough to convince me of cause of death.

"Are you talking enough poison to kill something such as a chicken or goat?" I remembered Evo's tale of the village.

"Or human." Ian continued, "The fish did not ingest this over a long period of time, as I did not find concentrations in the tissues. In this case, toxins would have killed off the first generation and the lake would have been completely void of fish. The toxins were most likely introduced into the lagoon by a recent run off or dumping of toxic materials."

Evo cut in. "Do you mean a runoff from a garbage dump or mining slag, or a source of natural toxins?" He looked at the floor in deep concentration.

"Cyanide and mercury, are definitely introduced from outside sources. These types of poisons do not occur in these amounts naturally. By introduction from an outside entity, the fish in that lagoon would have had no immunity built up to tolerate the poisons, even in low levels."

Sam held a hand over her heart. "That is why you said the F-Zero generation would have perished. They would not have lived long enough to produce first generation offspring."

Staring at the whiteboard, Evo muttered to himself, "But there aren't any garbage dumps or mines in that area, only Number 151, and that stuff doesn't leach from oil wells. Nunez owns all that land, and has only the oil operation in that area. Where the hell did it come from?"

He thought about the graves in the churchyard and asked Ian, "Are you talking about enough cyanide in the water source to kill even larger beings such as children and the elderly?"

"Larger. This is no small concentration I'm talking about. This could wipe out an entire village including their cattle."

Evo covered his eyes and muttered, "Oh, my God, I need to go back and find the source. The village, the people; good Lord, the children!"

Ian changed slides again. "But I found a very curious thing to make this case even more confusing. Some of the plant materials in their stomachs are not indigenous to that region of Venezuela."

We all stared dumbly at each other.

Ian continued. "Some of the plant material these guys ingested came from only one place known in the world. Peru."

"Peru?"
we echoed.

"Peru," Ian continued. "And this might give us a great clue as to what is going on.
Platycerium andinum
is an almost extinct fern. I have one over there." He pointed to a palm-type tree which looked like it had a lion's mane growing around a large branch. "The only places it is found in the world are on the eastern slopes of the Andes Mountains in Peru. Get this. Its closest relative resides in Madagascar."

"Madagascar?"

"Western Madagascar."

There was silence in the room. Fred let out a big sigh which blew the bangs off her forehead. "Boy, does that lend credence to the
Big Bang Theory
or what?"

Ian looked up at us. "Yep, but what's more curious is the fact that both of those regions are dry tropical forests. Therefore, my question is this, what would that particular plant material be doing inside a little fish in a tropical rainforest literally hundreds of miles away?"

Evo stopped his mumblings with that bit of information. "What you're saying is–"

Sam jumped in. "When we first found out Evo discovered the Endlers in the far northeastern region of Venezuela, I thought it odd they would turn up in a previously unknown and remote location. The only lake in the world where they were found was fouled by a garbage dump, so Endlers are practically extinct in the wild." She gathered her thoughts. "So you are saying that this plant is not found in the same region as these fish, let alone found in Venezuela at all."

"You win the kewpie doll. This leads me to believe–"

"Someone moved the fish there," we all intoned.

"Man, you guys are quick," Ian said.

Evo spoke up. "I know of this fern--this
andinum.
It is rare enough, but it is not listed as a 'salvageable' rare species. There's a group trying to protect a forest where these ferns grow in abundance. They grow on Quinilla trees in places like the Donut Hole Forest near San Martin. Presently, the Quinilla trees are being clear cut for fence posts and the vegetation burned off, including the
andinum
."

Sam lifted a brow and sneered. "Aren't we the conservationist all of a sudden? This from Mr. Corporate Oil Man? Isn't your only job the conservation of your huge take-home pay? How do you know so much about it, and why would you care?"

Evo drew up to his full height and looked down his nose at Sam. He said very quietly, "Because I initiated the project to establish the Donut Hole as a Zone of Ecological Protection to save it. Look it up, Dr. Fernandini. I even got shot by the opposition while putting up signs for D.S. 011-96-AG." He pulled up his sleeve and she looked in horror at the angry red slash that still marred his bicep. He yanked down his sleeve, turned, and walked. When he stopped, he stood perfectly still, hands on hips and studied the plants Ian had in the corner atrium.

Stunned, Sam looked at Fred. She bit her lip. "Oh, my God, I didn't know. I didn't think. Now I vaguely remember Tony mentioning it, but not in conjunction with his brother. Why didn't he
say
something?" She looked over to where Evo gently turned over a leaf to study the backside, and took a step in that direction.

Tony caught up to her and touched her arm. "Stay here, I'll talk to him. He has strong feelings, but rarely shows this much emotion. You've obviously hurt him deeply."

Sam drew herself up. "No, Tony, I blew it, I'll fix it." She brushed by him and started toward Evo.

Tony grabbed her arm again. "Later, Sam, I mean it. He won't listen now. Approach him later. Let him stew for a while by himself."

Sam yanked her arm away, and Tony grabbed her again. Sam said, "I can admit that I've been an ass when the situation calls for it." She flipped her satin mane of hair over her shoulder. "I'll
make
him listen to me." She pulled free and stomped after Evo.

Tony looked stunned and said under his breath, "Man, you two are so much alike…"

I squeezed his shoulder. "Come on, kiddo. You can't fight their battles for them. If there's blood to be shed, J.J. and I know first aid. Let them go for now."

"It's not that, Buzz. She really
is
just like him." He suddenly grinned. "I gotta see this." He grabbed Fred's hand and slunk off along the tree line, trying for a better view of the inevitable confrontation.

I watched as he inched closer to the quiet war going on between Evo and Sam. I saw a lot of head bobbing and large gestures. I looked over to where Tony crouched and he gave me the two-thumbs up sign–whatever that meant.

I sighed and turned back to Ian. "So, when will we be able to examine the not-so-dead fish? Can we use your place here?"

"Sure! Bring 'em on. I'd be happy to help."

Loud banging at the door stopped all noise in our building. Ian bounded toward the security camera. "May I help you, sir?" He spoke into the intercom. I looked at the monitor and saw a Grizzly Adams looking guy at the door.

"Open up here, I'm Hank MacRone." The voice boomed over the intercom.

Ian and I looked at each other. Ian recovered first. "Who the heck is Hank MacRone?"

At first I didn't connect the name. "Beats the hell out of me. Wait! I know who Hank MacRone is. Fred, Sam, come quick, you'll never guess–"

12

This is not the American dream, Tom thought as they waited in line for a rental car. If Mark didn't get them arrested before they could bump off the two morons and the scientists, Tom would be surprised. They arrived shortly after the scientist, his brother, and the two morons, but between Mark stuffing himself on Big Macs and marveling at the automatic soap dispenser in the bathroom, their targets were well on their way. They caught up with them near the car rental place, but some hassle about the car had Tom and Mark hiding behind a Ficus tree to avoid being seen.