Totally Fishy (A Miller Sisters Mystery) (34 page)

Armand made a small sound, which could have been a laugh or a belch. "I thought my best cover would be as Evo's personal limousine driver, so I was set.

"Then came the promotion of Chavez, and I had my doubts about you again, Mr. Nunez. I bugged rooms, tapped phones, tailed vehicles, crashed parties–you name it, I showed up. In your circles, the limo blended right in, and since Evo is almost always out of town, I had all the time in the world to check things out. Word on the streets was that someone big tried to hire a hit man to go to Wisconsin to take out, and I quote, 'A couple of morons and a couple of scientists,' but I couldn't get close enough to be granted an interview so I could find out the details. I connected the dots when Evo called to arrange a ride from the airport.

"Talk about lame; it wasn't until then I realized the scientists on the hit list were Sam, Evo, and his brother Tony."

Evo leaned forward and winced. "
Ahhh.
So when Armand and I exchanged information over the phone, we put two and two together and–"

Whack.
Sam's hand left a red mark on Evo's cheek. "And you decided the women involved were not worthy of knowing the truth? That maybe somewhere in that six-foot-three hunk of
macho stupid,
you would shelter us from the cold hard world? Well look again, Capitan Courageous, bullets know no gender! We could have avoided a lot of anguish if you had been straight with us from the start. That hole in your shoulder matches the hole in your head."

Evo looked helplessly around the room, and landed somewhere to the left of me. "Sorry, but I didn't want Sam involved and I didn't even know you then, Buzz."

Fred yelled, "Yeah? Well look who got shot!"

I glared daggers at him. "You'd best be glad Sam hit you and not me. I'd paste you to the wall, macho man. Did you at least let J.J. in on your fishy little tale? Because if you didn't and I find that he or anyone in White Bass Lake has suffered because you withheld this information, I'll shoot your ass myself."

I tore my cell phone off my belt and dialed J.J. I knew he'd be in bed by now, but I needed to hear from him. He picked up on the first ring. "Hey, gorgeous, I was just thinking about you. I'm in your bed."

"Knock off the malarkey, James J. Green. Is everyone okay up there? Anyone get say, killed or maimed in the last twenty-four hours?"

I had his full attention now. "No one croaking except the horny toads up here. Which reminds me, sugar, when are you coming home, anyway?"

"Eh, eh-uh, just as soon as I can make arrangements, J.J. Now think. Has anyone new come into town in the past day or so? Male, Hispanic?"

"Not that I know of; are you going to let me in on why you think I should be up to my ass in corpses, or is it your little secret?"

"I'm sorry, J.J. I just found out a South American hit man-or-woman might be headed into town to take out Evo, Sam, Tony, Alfredo, Luis, and if I'm correct, those two new friends of the Gallegos brothers. If he hasn't shown up yet, then he'll probably come in tonight or tomorrow. I'm coming home, J.J." I glared again at Evo. Tonight if I can get a flight out."

"That's great," he said. "I'll pick you up at the airport."

"No need; I think Evo's truck is still in long-term parking at Mitchell Field. I'll let you know when I get into town."

"How? Will you sneak in here and put your tongue in my ear?"

"You, Green, are a warped man. Just do me a favor and make sure Tony, Alfredo, and Luis are okay. Now listen, there's something I have to tell you." I told J.J. the whole story, as I knew it. I honestly believed he would have beaten the crap out of Evo at that point; stitches or not. I put J.J. on speakerphone while he cussed a blue streak.

He wound down by pointing out that the two alleged big strong men sent to watch over the women ended up being one who caught a bullet and one with a broken nose–who might also still be hanging upside down in the jungle had it not been for the three helpless women. "Man, I don't know what century you knuckleheads are from, but Buzz is more than capable of taking care of all of your sorry asses! I haven't seen more intelligence and spunk come behind the letters PhD than I have in Sam, and Fred is a Miller Sister; I need not say more. Damn it, I knew I should have been there!"

"Water under the bridge, J.J. Slow down a minute or I won't tell you the rest."

"Don't even insinuate that there's more…"

I heard him breathing on the other end. "We have bigger fish to fry now–a-ha. Fish to fry."

"I am not amused, Buzz. Get on with the story."

"Uh, ahem, okay. Anyway, Hank MacRone was in the pictures I took at the mine along with Hector Chavez. Can you get FBI Bob to check out Hank's possible connection to Chavez on the home front? Hank's an importer of tropical fish and not involved in mining. Chavez works for an oil conglomerate. There's got to be a connection, but I can't see one now."

"I'll get Bob right on it. Actually, I'll get Al and Bob on it. Hurry up down there. I uh, well, I want you home, and uh, the dogs miss you too."

"They won't even recognize me after you get done spoiling them. You're not letting Wesley eat ice cream at night, are you?" From the silence on the other end I gathered Wes had gained another ten pounds. "J.J., you can't let those two dogs walk all over you."

"They don't walk all over me. We have a good time, don't we guys?" I heard enthusiastic woofing in the background, and my eyes misted. I really did miss those three idiots.

"I'll be home before you know it, J.J. Hug the dogs for me, and I'll call you from the airport."

"I'll clean out my ears to make room for your tongue."

"You, James Green, are a disgusting individual."

"It's part of my charm. Bye, babe." He hung up the phone before I could yell at him again.

I stared at the phone for a second and shook my head to clear it.

Nunez chuckled and I looked up. "Your husband, no?"

I sighed. "No, sir, an old friend."

Nunez looked at the floor, smiling and shaking his head. "Friendship is a strong foundation." He looked me in the eyes and shook his finger at me. "Do not waste an opportunity for happiness, my dear."

"I, uh, no…well–"

There was no use being embarrassed, as
Nunez silently rubbing his wrists, trying to get the circulation going again, Armand kept touching his tender nose, Fred fell asleep standing up, and Sam stared at a wall. Evo pointed out smugly he was the only one awake, and I pointed out that he had slept most of the last twenty-four hours.

Evo straightened in his chair and cleared his throat. "Why don't we call it a night and get back at this tomorrow morning? Maybe we can wind this up and get back to the States."

Sam's head snapped around. "You're going back? I mean, I wanted to go back, but I didn't think you would."

"Why not? We're on vacation. What would I do here with no place to live, a bullet hole in me, and no office to go to? I'd rather be in Fred's house, watching the fish swim."

Nunez spoke up. "You're not going anywhere until I have you checked out at the hospital. No offense ladies, but this way he can get some legal," he narrowed his eyes at Armand, "Non-narcotic pain medication. I also want to have his shoulder x-rayed to make sure the bullet didn't nick a bone. Then you go back to the States and you will take off another four weeks or so to recuperate."

Evo muttered about doctors and bosses while Fred went into the kitchen to turn off the coffee. She decided to wait at Sam's house with Nunez while I took Evo and Armand to the hospital. Fred said she would have everything set up by the time we got back.

We all jumped as we heard a scream from the bathroom. Sam exited with a smug smile on her face. Armand followed, whimpering about his poor nose. Sam spun on him. "Oh shut up, you baby. At least it's straight again."

She grabbed her jacket and came over to help me lift Evo from the chair. Evo struggled to stand on his own. He saw Sam bearing down on him and held up his good hand to ward her off. "Don't hurt me, Sam! I'll never call you Fernameanie again. I swear–just don't hurt me!"

"What are you talking about, Castillo? We're taking you to the hospital. Let's go."

Between Nunez, Sam, and me, we gave Evo the heave-ho and helped him to the limo. Nunez murmured something about making phone calls. With Armand at the wheel, we made it to the hospital in record time.

Ramon had called ahead and briefed the hospital staff of our arrival and an entourage met us at the Emergency Room entrance. They whisked Evo away in a wheelchair while Sam and I were escorted to a private waiting room.

Armand was waylaid by a team of nurses when he walked into the ER They must have known him by the size of his nose. Sam and I had a chuckle when we heard him hollering down the hall, but they returned him to us with watery eyes and a pristine bandage across his swollen proboscis.

Evo arrived outside our waiting area about an hour later, and we were treated like royalty all the way out to the limo. I drove back to Sam's because Armand was on drugs and currently lolling in the passenger seat. Evo lie in the back seat draped across Sam's lap, a small secret smile on his lips. He reminded me of Wesley sprawled across me on the big wooden swing in our backyard. Evo looked perfectly content as Sam stared out the window and absently ran a hand through his hair. My eyes stung thinking about home.
What a wienie I am
.

Back at Sam's, I was surprised to see Ramon Nunez still at the house. He drank tea with Fred and laughed at something she'd just said. He jumped to his feet and helped us get Evo through the front door. "Welcome home, everyone. Freddie and I have been conversing on many subjects. I have alerted the proper authorities and have procured what you Americans would call a search warrant, which will permit government officials to seize any and all records, personnel, or items related to the mine. They will call me when they leave for the mine."

"Wow," I said. "How the heck did you get justice's wheels to turn so fast?"

"Simple, really. For one, the mine is on my property and what is the purpose of having money if one cannot, say, grease the wheels of justice so they turn faster?"

"That's one hell of a lube job,
Señor
."

Nunez raised his eyebrows and smiled. "Fascinating, is it not?"

Fred grabbed my hand and dragged me across the room. "Look, Buzz. Ramon went out and bought a whiteboard."

"Why on earth for, I wonder?"

"While we are waiting for the plane to get ready, we can put what we know together. That way, we can help with the police investigation down here." She pointed to the writing on the board. "The black writing is what we've been able to piece together so far. The red off shoots are the possible theories we discussed, the green notations are the variables and probabilities, and the blue squares are pieces that are still missing from the equation. That's how you do it at home, right?"

Fred's eager expression reminded me of my dogs when I took them to Dairy Queen. "Fred, you did a wonderful job, and probably saved many man hours of work on this investigation."

Fred sent a smile in Nunez's direction. "I couldn't have done it without Ramon."

"Ramon, is it?" Fred and Nunez both blushed. "Tell you what," I pointed to Evo and Armand. "Let's get our guys on injured reserve situated and we'll go over everything we have so far."

Nunez sat up. "Did you not want to sleep when you returned here?"

I took the coffee mug Fred offered and drank deeply. "Not quite yet, I'm buzzing on caffeine right now."

One would have thought it would be an easy task to make Evo lie down for a while, but he resisted Sam's attempts to lead him to her bedroom. He hung on to the doorjamb with his good arm while she propelled him from the rear. "Evo, you are not cooperating! Just lie down for a while and let the medication work for you."

"I don't want to lie down alone, Sam." In an unexpected move, Evo spun and grabbed Sam around the waist. He pressed her against the bedroom door and his lips hovered inches from hers. He looked directly into her eyes and said, "Samón, my love, normally I would fight the Devil himself for a chance to crawl into your bed, but between the drugs, the investigation, and the fact that your house is full of company, I am forced at this time to decline such a lovely invitation." He moved a fraction closer and smiled slowly. "I will however, take a rain check." He bent and kissed her.

Sam recovered from her shock and her eyes narrowed. She shoved away from him and spoke softly, venom dripping from her words. "You arrogant clod! You think that with one crook of your finger I would be ready and willing to jump into bed with you? What was your major in college again, Penis 101? Good thing you have the excuse of being on drugs, or I'd–"

"Sam, wait! I didn't mean–"

"Right. What part did you not mean? The jumping into my bed now, or jumping into it later? Perhaps when you grow up you will come to the realization that some women have more to do with their lives than to line up to become another notch on your bedpost!"

She spun and left him leaning against the door to the bedroom. He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head as if trying to clear his muzzy brain. Fred went over and helped Evo back into the living room. She said through her teeth, "Evo, what the heck were you thinking? You confused and embarrassed her."