Touched (9 page)

“Well, I’m really starved and I need to eat.”

Well, shit. That wasn’t part of the plan. I didn’t want to react to the double meaning of his words; experience had shown it was best to just ignore it. “Okay, well food it is. Let’s do it,” I said, turning toward the kitchen.

“Actually everything is set up in the dining room. Come,” he said, motioning for me to follow him. It would appear he had some strategies of his own. I followed him to the dining room, my bag clutched to my chest as I reconstructed my plan.

“May I?” he asked, taking my bag and extending a seat to me. I sipped the wine as he moved toward the head of the table, taking his seat.

“This is a really nice wine,” I said.

“I thought you would like it,” he replied as he studied my face. What was he looking at?

“I don’t want to keep you any longer than necessary so let’s see what you have for me,” he said.

You’ve already seen what I have for you. Stop it Aria. Focus. 

“Well, you reviewed most of the material today,” I began.

As we started to eat, I completed the proposal; reiterating some of the critical components. “The other information you’ll need is outlined here,” I said, passing him the portfolio from my bag. He skimmed over it as he ate. I watched him. I couldn’t help it. He was such a magnificent specimen.

He looked up to find me studying him and smiled. “Yes?”

“Nothing. I’m a wee bit anxious to hear the final response,” I lied.

“In that case, you have nothing to worry about. As I said earlier this is brilliant. I say we get moving on this first thing.”

“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear,” I replied, smiling. I was so excited that I was damned close to bouncing up and down in my seat.

He smiled at me and our eyes momentarily connected, both of our smiles slowly fading. I looked down at my plate, breaking our eye contact.

“Anything you think we missed?” I asked.

He only had a few modest suggestions and we fell into silence.  It was intimate, yet it felt like two strangers with so many questions that neither would ask … such as why he and I couldn’t seem to shake our intense attraction for each other or what we should do about it or why he freaked out on Kellan at the charity event.

“Thank you for dinner. I need to head home. Now that you’ve given the green light, I have tons to do tomorrow.”

“It was my pleasure and again great work. I expect great things Miss Cason.”

“And great things you shall have Mr. Raine.”

I was inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. He didn’t do anything or say anything inappropriate over dinner and he was allowing me to leave without any other advances.

“I’ll walk you out,” he said, pushing away from the table. “After you,” he offered.

I was almost out of here. I grabbed my bag and headed toward the door. He walked quietly behind me. This was so crazy. I felt on edge. I reached the door and turned to face him. He was staring down at me like a predator eyeing its prey and my heart rate instantly accelerated.

“Are you okay?” he asked, reaching out to me. “You look adorable by the way.”

So he liked me even when I tried to look like crap. I shrugged his hand away. “Yes, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, stepping closer … he was mere inches from me.

“Yes, I’m sure,” I replied, swallowing the lump in my throat.

His gaze lowered to the rapid rise and fall of my chest. “Why has your breathing accelerated?”

“Because you’re pissing me off.”

“I suspect there’s more to it than that,” he said.

“Well you’re wrong.  I’m upset because in a span of five seconds, you spoiled what I’d considered a nice evening.”

“I think you’re upset because you want something you’re afraid to ask for.”

“And according to you, I want you?” I asked.

“It’s okay. Don’t be afraid. Ask. I’ll give it to you,” he said, his voice deep and laced with honey. There was no doubt about it … his voice was pure sex.

“Of course, you’d think that. You make everything so much more difficult than it has to be. You frustrate the hell out of me!” I exclaimed.

“We all have frustrations Aria. It’s how you resolve them that makes the difference. In regards to you for instance, you have frustrations with me.  Take them out
on
me
. Fuck me. I’ll surrender total control. You wanted that at one time right?”

“Is that what this has reverted to?” I asked, in disbelief.

“Only because you’ve made it that way. And if that’s the only way I can have you, I’ll take it … at least for now.”

“What about your paramour? Is she on board with your sexual propensities?” I probed.

“Paramour?”

“The insecure twit that was with you at the charity event,” I said.

“Aria, I’ve told you on countless occasions, you needn’t focus on irrelevant people; focus on me.”

“I don’t want to focus on you Aiden and I can certainly do without the headache of dealing with you again.”

“Okay, no headaches then…you’ve dissociated sex and emotions before.  Do it with me.”

“What?” He was confusing me and he’d obviously read and shredded the hell out of my plan long before I’d arrived because this shit had gone terribly awry.

“You heard me.”

If I could actually do that with him, it would be the best of both worlds.

What are you? Crazy? Say yes bitch!  Virginia just had to come bursting out of her cave. Of course, she wanted me to say yes. Kingston was all she wanted.

I sighed. I could make it easy and just fuck the shit out of him. But nothing was ever easy with him. I opened my mouth to say no but somehow Virginia spoke for me. “Just sex? Our secret?  No expectations? No emotional bullshit?”

“That’s what I’m offering.”

“In that case, I accept.” I knew I was lying to myself even before I said the words. As badly as I needed to, I couldn’t shut off my feelings but I wanted to fuck him so badly that the lie didn’t matter.

He pushed me against the door, his eyes filling with heated lust as they linked with mine. He traced his thumb across my lip and in the next second, his mouth was on mine, assaulting my lips, his tongue rediscovering my mouth. My bag fell to the floor and my hands were in his hair, fisting handfuls as he raptured me.  He grabbed my hands, forcing them above my head as he went for my neck … uncontrollably sucking, licking and kissing.  His hungry mouth devouring me; he was as starved for me as I was for him.

I struggled to pull my hands from his grasp. I wanted to touch him.  He released my wrists and turned me to face the door. He pressed his rock-hard frame against mine and nipped my ear as his hands traveled along my body. His mouth was on my neck, kissing and licking. In one swift movement my sweatpants and panties were at my ankles and he was on his knees, spreading my ass apart. I moaned as his tongue prodded the tight hole. I reached for his head and pushed it in further, rotating my ass in his mouth. He stood and scooped me up. Our lips and tongues tousling as he swiftly carried me to the bedroom. He severed our kiss and dropped me on the bed. We were both panting as we stared at each other. I reached for his waist and with anxious hands, I hurriedly unbuttoned his jeans. He pushed my hands away and pulled out his big beautiful cock. I gasped upon seeing the vast satisfying image of what I’d been fantasizing about for months. Not removing his pants, he shoved me back on the bed and pushed my legs apart. He was in me within seconds. I screamed, digging my nails in his back at the first deep intrusive thrust.

*****

I awoke and noticed that we were spooning. Aiden’s breathing was steady, his face buried in my hair. I glimpsed at the bedside table and saw that it was 5 o’clock. I hadn’t planned on sleeping here. I slowly eased from his embrace. I didn’t want to blur the lines of an already abstruse relationship. Spending the night was not part of the plan nor is it an option for any future romps. This was sex. Nothing more.

I eased out of bed and turned to look at him; he was gorgeous even when he was asleep. He was uncovered and gloriously naked. His arm lay above his head and his face was turned toward the cup of his elbow. His hair was mussed and his body was … well I could get myself off just by looking at him. His chest revealed magnificently sculpted pecks and his stomach boasted just about the most perfect abs I’d ever seen, let alone touched. His thighs were muscular; not overly so, just that right amount to suggest intense power behind every movement. I slowly covered him and watched a few moments more as he slept. I thought back to the conversation we’d begun after we had fallen onto the bed, exhausted from multiple excruciatingly satisfying orgasms.

“I’m perfectly fine with the arrangement of sex and nothing more, but you will want more.”

“Oh and why is that?” I asked.

“I’m going to make you want more,” he said.

I slipped out as he slept. I would see him later at RPH for one final meeting this morning before he left town. I dressed in the hallway and went in search of my bag, remembering it had fallen near the entrance last night. It was lying beside the door. I picked it up and left the penthouse.

*****

I walked into the RPH building shortly after 8 o’clock. I was certain that Aiden would have texted about my slipping out by now, but nothing. At the very least, I half expected to hear from him in an effort to maintain momentum if nothing else. I walked into the conference room and he was already there … ever the consummate professional, in total business mode.  He barely looked up when I entered. “Good morning, Miss Cason,” he said, and returned to the papers in front of him.

“Good morning Mr. Raine,” I replied, confused as to the chill in his tone. It was as if he hadn’t been inside me a few hours ago. I should’ve been relieved that he wasn’t behaving differently but I wasn’t. That’s when I admitted to myself that I couldn’t do the
just sex
thing with him. I just couldn’t.

*****

“Excellent work everyone. I trust you all can iron out the remaining details. I have a tight schedule over the next week so I need to leave earlier than I’d anticipated. Should you need anything, please contact Brooklyn.” And with that, he stood and walked out without even so much as a glance at me. Was that his idea of making me want more? I fucking hated him.

I poured myself into my work over the next few weeks, successfully shutting out most of my thoughts of Aiden. It was the week before Thanksgiving and I was bringing a close to my day. One more day and I would be out of the office for eleven consecutive days, nine of which would be spent with my family. I opened my desk for my phone just as Raina popped in.

“Mr. Raine asked that I personally deliver this to you,” she said, passing me a sealed envelope.

What is it this time? “Thank you Raina,” I said, taking the envelope and placing it on my desk. Once she closed the door behind her, I opened it. It was a piano-shaped flash drive. I looked in the envelope and found a small piece of paper.

Call me once you listen to this.

-A.

Our communications over the last few weeks had been strictly professional so, of course, I was intrigued.

I briefly considered listening to whatever it was but ultimately decided against it and placed it on my desk. I had too many loose ends to tie up before the holiday to get caught up in his shenanigans. Mom, Lia and Bianca were flying to Boston tomorrow afternoon. I was so excited to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with them. I certainly didn’t need Aiden’s black cloud hanging over my head while they were here. I quickly finished my last email and powered off my computer.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Mom and my sisters would be arriving later this afternoon.  If they weren’t too tired from traveling we’d be going out for dinner. Tomorrow we’d prepare our Thanksgiving menu, each of us would be assigned one entrée that we’d prepare individually and the other foods, we’d prepare together. We were also planning a shopping trip to the whole foods store that Raina had suggested. We were more excited than we could express as evidenced by the increased calls and texts over the last few days. It was important for us all, my first holiday with my family since college … our first holiday where it actually
felt
like a family in years.

I was walking into my office as my phone rang. I looked at the phone and saw that it was Lia. I smiled as I tapped answer on the display.

“Hey little sister. Are you guys at the airport? I’m so –” I stopped mid-sentence. Lia was crying.

“Lia. What’s going on?” I asked.

“Aria, something’s happened,” Lia said.

“What is it Lia?” I asked. Her voice was fading in and out and I was starting to worry.

“Aria, I have awful news. It’s Mom. She’s ... she’s …” Her sobs became louder and I couldn’t make sense of her words. Had Mom sank back into her depression? My heart fluttered as I considered the possibility.

“She’s what?” I asked.

Lia was muttering something in between sobs. “Lia, I can’t understand what you’re saying.”

She attempted to explain but again I couldn’t understand anything. I was terrified. I closed the door to my office.

“Lia, where’s Bianca? Can you give the phone to her please?”

There was silence followed by a tremendous amount of rumbling in the background. What the hell was going on?

“Aria?” It was Bianca.

“Bianca, where’s Mom? What’s going on?”

“Aria, I don’t know how to say it,” said Bianca.

“Bianca what is it? Is Mom okay?” I asked. I was beyond panicked now.

She sniffed and replied quietly. “Mom’s gone Aria.”

“Gone? What do you mean gone? Is she missing?”

“No Aria, she’s … dead.”

I froze. I stopped breathing. “What? What do you mean? What did you say Bianca?” I asked, frantically.

I plopped down in the seat at the table, my breathing accelerated. Lia was bawling in the background as Bianca’s quiet sobs resonated through the phone. No. No. This can’t be right.

“I said … Mom’s dead. There was a car accident and it was really horrible. The police was chasing someone in a stolen car and the driver skipped lanes and crashed into her. The car flipped and there was an explosion.” She was silent for several minutes. “When the firemen finally arrived to the scene it was too late. She’d been trapped in the car. When the paramedics pulled her out, her body had been burned beyond recognition.”

I heard the words and I tried to make sense of it, but it simply didn’t make sense to me. This couldn’t be happening. Mom couldn’t be gone. “Maybe there’s some type of mistake. If they couldn’t recognize the body, how do they know it was Mom?” I asked, desperate for another possibility.

“They were able to get the vehicle identification number and locate our address. An officer just left the house giving us all of the details of the accident.”

No. No! I sat there shaking. I didn’t have any words of comfort for my sister. I couldn’t believe this. This couldn’t be happening.  Tears were streaming down my face
 
as the finality began to register. Mom was gone. There would be no Thanksgiving. There would be no holidays at all. Ever. It was over.

“Aria. Are you still there?” Bianca asked.

“Yes, I’m here. I’m just … this doesn’t seem real. This
can’t
be real.”

“We don’t know what to do Aria,” Bianca said, her voice breaking.

“Don’t worry sweetie. I’m on the next flight to Dayton. Is there someone you can call from the church to come over and stay with you until I can get there?”

“Yes, we can call Mrs. Warner.”

“Okay, call her and I’ll be there as quickly as I can. I love you.”

“I love you too Aria. And Aria?”

“Yes?”

“Please hurry. We really need you.”

“I will. I promise. I’ll see you soon okay.”

“Okay,” she replied. The phone went silent. I wiped my eyes and called Raina.

*****

This felt like a nightmare. How did this happen? Why did this happen? After speaking with Bianca, I rushed home and threw some things in a bag and headed to the airport. Raina had quickly scheduled a flight for me and I had only a few minutes to get to the airport in time to get through security.

Beyond the tears I’d shed on the call with Bianca, I was too much in shock to really cry. Instead I was immersed in the regret of all of the lost years. The last few weeks had been the most heart-warming moments I’d had in years with my family. We’d been so happy and hopeful. Now we had nothing.

I called Kellan as soon as I settled at the boarding gate.  He answered the phone on the second ring. 

“Kellan?  Is that you?”

“Yes it’s me.”

“You sound different,” I said.

“I’m dealing with a terrible bout of the flu.”

He sounded horrible.  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“No, I’m not. My mother…” I started. I couldn’t say it.

“What is it Aria?”

I took a deep breath, choking back the tears. “My mother was killed this morning in a car accident.” I said the words and I felt as though someone had squeezed the air from my lungs. I kneeled over in pain.

“Aria, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

“Thank you. I’m at the airport now. I’m flying to Dayton to be with my sisters.”

“I’ll catch the first flight out. What’s your Mom’s address?”

“Kellan, no. I can’t ask you to do that. You sound horrible.”

“I’m fine Aria. I can deal with a few sniffles,” he insisted.

“No, don’t. If you come sick like that, it’ll only give me more to worry about. Thank you so much for wanting to be here for me. I’ll call April and I’ll have my sisters. Take care of yourself, okay. I have to run now because they’re calling for us to board.”

“Call me when you land and –” He couldn’t finish because of the terrible stretch of coughing that ensued. He sounded much worse than I’d originally thought. “Call me anytime okay.”

“I will. Thanks Kellan. I hope you feel better soon.”

The flight to Dayton was horrible. There was so much turbulence that my focus was on fear instead of the purpose of the flight. Actually I think I was too afraid to allow the reality of my mom’s death to sink in. Would it ever sink in?

As the plane descended into Dayton International, I powered my phone on to see a text from April. She was on the first flight out of Pittsburgh.  I was so thankful for her. I didn’t think I could face this alone.

I hurried from the terminal in search of the rental car kiosk. Raina was truly a Godsend; she’d arranged everything right down to researching funeral homes and scheduling an appointment with one of them for me.

I tossed my belongings into the rental car preparing myself for the daunting drive to my childhood home.  I reached into my purse looking for my phone and saw the flash drive from Aiden. I picked it up, turning it over and over between my fingers. I placed it in the cup holder. I grabbed my phone to text Lia and Bianca that I’d arrived safely and that I was on my way to the house. I also sent a text to Kellan.

As I merged onto 1-70, various memories of my younger years permeated my brain. I took a deep breath as chills rolled through me. I didn’t want to be here but I knew I needed to be. I was overwrought with pain and this new layer was more than I could handle. I felt as though I were being torn apart from the inside out. I pulled off to the side of the road as I turned onto Austin Boulevard. I was so close to Winding Creek Subdivision but I wasn’t ready. Not yet.

I reached for the radio; I needed music, something to momentarily derail my thoughts. The screen flashed and there was a mini-setup tutorial. Geez!  I saw the flash drive from Aiden. I grabbed it and removed the cap and slid the drive into the port.  Within seconds the car was filled with the soft sounds of a piano.  It was Aiden’s voice to one of my absolute favorite songs.  

Yes I do, I believe

That one day I will be, where I was

Right there, right next to you

And it’s hard, the days just seem so dark

The moon, and the stars, are nothing without you

Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?

No words can explain, the way I’m missing you

The night, this emptiness, this hole that I’m inside

These tears, they tell their own story

You told me not to cry when you were gone

But the feeling’s overwhelming, it’s much too strong

Can I lay by your side, next to you, you

And make sure you’re alright

I’ll take care of you

And I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight

I’m reaching out to you

Can you hear my call? (Who’s to say you won’t hear me?)

This hurt that I’ve been through

I’m missing you, missing you like crazy

You told me not to cry when you were gone

But the feeling’s overwhelming, it’s much too strong

Can I lay by your side, next to you, you

And make sure you’re alright

I’ll take care of you

And I don’t wanna be here if I can’t be with you tonight

Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side

Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side

Can I lay by your side, next to you, you

I silently wept as the significance of that song … of those words stirred me; touching the very essence of my soul. Aiden knew I loved Sam Smith and this song … well it was enough to bring me to my knees. I couldn’t do this anymore. It was all too much. Mom was gone; Dayton was clawing at me and now this song from Aiden. I knew this wasn’t just some random song; he’d chosen this song specifically for me … for us, and at this moment, there was no one I would want by my side more than him. The phone pinged, disturbing the gravity of my admission.

It was Bianca.*
Is everything okay?*

I should’ve known they’d be worried given the circumstances. Had I not stopped, I would’ve been there thirty minutes ago. I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves and replied to her.

*
Yes, just got stuck in traffic. Should be there in ten minutes.*

*
Okay, I love you.*

*
I love you too B.*

I crept onto the street; my heart in my throat as I choked back tears. I had to be strong for my sisters. I couldn’t break. As I approached Winding Creek, countless childhood memories flashed before me. Walking to the bus stop, hanging out on the corner with classmates, playing in the yard with my sisters, sitting down to dinner with
all
of my family. That was all gone now. All I had now were memories and remorse. I turned down Cobble Brook Drive and glanced at the familiar houses, finally creeping up to the one I had run from for all of my adult life. I pulled into the drive and pressed the button to turn off the car.  I took a deep breath, grabbed my purse and opened the car door.

I still had my keys to the house which I had always kept on my key ring for some odd reason. I didn’t feel comfortable using the key so I reached for the doorbell. Lia opened the door before I could press the button. She rushed into my arms followed by Bianca. We all stood in front of the door weeping and consoling each other. I looked up to see Miss Warner standing in the doorway and released the girls to greet her.

“I’m so sorry Aria,” she said.

“Thank you Miss Warner and thanks for sitting with Lia and Bianca.”

“There’s no need to thank me. This is where I should be. Melena was a very dear friend and I will miss her very much.” Miss Warner hadn’t aged very well. She’d also put on a lot of weight. Everyone had their way of dealing with loss. I wondered if Miss Warner used food as a means to deal with hers. She used to be so fit and had actually pulled Mom and Dad into exercise regimens.

We walked in and took a seat. “I made some tea and coffee a few moments ago if you’d like a cup.”

“Tea would be great. Thank you,” I replied.

I looked around the room. Not much had changed since my last visit here several years ago. The short walk from the foyer to the living room still greeted me with a string of pictures on the walls. The living room was just as I’d remembered. It was a small cozy room with two chairs on either side of the fireplace that caught your eye as soon as you entered the room. The memory of Mom and Dad seated on either side of the mantle flashed in front of me. In the winters, Dad would light a fire and he and mom would often sit in the chairs beside the fireplace reading the paper. And there was one Christmas that I’d taken a picture of them seated there dressed as Santa and Mrs. Clause.