Touched (12 page)

I stepped into the massive shower and adjusted the spray settings. The gentle stream of hot water began to flow over me, soothing my frantic nerves. This day didn’t seem real. My mother was dead, my sisters were now my responsibility and my father, well who knew where he was or if he was even alive. And here I was standing in Aiden Raine’s shower. I had shunned him for weeks and most recently slipped out of his bed without a word, yet here he was providing comfort for me and my sisters, without my ever having to ask. I burst into tears, the crippling waves of despondency drowning me.  I wept for it all … the lost time, the broken relationships, and my remaining family. The tears eventually ceased; I wasn’t sure how because the feelings that triggered them were still there. I looked at the drain and imagined my tears escaping, taking the despair of this day with them.

That fucking pill was obviously not working or maybe it had just worn off. Either way, I needed another. I finished showering and grabbed a towel from the warmer. I wrapped it around me; not really drying myself. I grabbed another towel for my hair and stepped out of the bathroom. I was too exhausted to do anything more than flop into bed. I walked into the bedroom expecting to see Aiden but he was gone. I glanced at the bed and saw that it had been turned back and there was some black material lying across the pillow. I crossed the room to see a black silk gown lying on his bed. There was a note.

I’m sure you don’t want to deal with unpacking your things tonight therefore I’d asked Kinsley to have some items sent over for you also.   I’ll sleep in one of the guest rooms tonight. Sleep well Princess.

-A.

I looked at the gown lying on the bed and was instantly filled with so many warm thoughts of Aiden. I honestly hadn’t given any thought to the sleeping arrangements but now that I was aware, I was slightly disappointed. I didn’t want to be alone. I haphazardly dried myself and slipped on the gown, appreciating the soft feel against my skin. I wrapped my wet hair in the other towel and glanced around the room. Beside the bed was a platter with a water decanter, a glass and my medication. Aiden had scribbled another note.

Take one if you start to feel overwhelmed. If you need me, my phone is near so text or call and I’m there.

-A.

I slid into bed and pulled the covers around me, curling my body into a grief-stricken ball. I was dealing with more heartbreak than I could fathom; I didn’t want to think about anything. I wanted to feel better. I wanted to forget, at least for the night. I turned over in bed and looked at the prescription bottle but I knew what would both make me forget and feel better … and it wasn’t a pill. I reached for my phone and typed a text.

*
Are you asleep?*

*
No, doing some work so that I can be as available for you as you need tomorrow.*

*
I know I’ve already said this but thank you for today. I’ll never be able to say how much it means to me.*

*
I’d do anything for you Aria. I hope you realize that
.*

*
Where are you?*

*In the study. Why?*

*
I don’t want to be alone.”

*
Stay put, I’ll come to you.*

Within a couple of minutes, the bedroom door opened. He stood in the doorway with only pajama bottoms and his cell phone. He was a ridiculously gorgeous specimen.

“I’m sorry for bothering you” I said, as he closed the door and walked toward the bed.

“It’s no bother Aria. I’m glad you’re allowing me to be here for you,” he replied, as he looked toward the bedside table.

“Did you take another one?” he asked.

“No, I think I need to but I don’t like the loopy feeling so I didn’t take another,” I said, as I sat up in bed.

“But if you need one –”

“I know. I know. I’ll take one. I promise,” I said.

“Good. You try to do so much on your own but you don’t have to,” he said.

He glanced at the top of my gown then back into my eyes.

“Thanks for the gown. Perfect fit,” I said, smiling. I thought back to the first time he’d bought clothes for me.

“That reminds me, you never did tell me how you knew my bra size.”

He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. “In med school, we had to learn to determine breast size by touch and let’s just say I had a lot of practice.”

That sounded insane. I looked at him waiting for him to continue.

“You know that’s total bullshit, right? I actually guessed,” he said, grinning.

“Really?”

“Yes and no. I had a picture of you and I showed it to the sales person and she helped me out.”

“You’re such a liar,” I said, smiling.

“So it’s back to the name-calling? That’s a sure sign that you’re feeling better.”

“If I am, it’s in huge part to you,” I said.

“I’m here for you, as long as you need me.”

I needed him, especially now, and it was much more than I would dare tell him.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Aiden had lain in bed with me until I’d fallen asleep. I’d asked him to tell me anything that would take my mind elsewhere. He told me stories about Allison and how much trouble she’d gotten into as a child and how he always tried to cover for her. He absolutely adored his sister. They were much closer than I’d originally thought. I would have that type of relationship with my sisters, I was sure of it. He told me about the time she’d skipped school and had a party in the servants’ quarters. I must have dozed off around that time because I don’t remember how that one ended. He’d taken my thoughts away from the present, away from Boston, away from my sadness. His beautiful, velvet voice was a sexy melody that had taken me away from it all.

I turned over in bed and saw that it was a little after 10 o’clock. I scanned the room for Aiden but he was nowhere in sight. I did see a bag on the chaise at the foot of the bed. There was a balloon attached to it with my name written across it. I jumped out of bed with a goofy smile on my face.  I walked over to the bag, looked inside and spotted his calling card … a note.

You seemed very comfortable in these so I’ve purchased you a new set. Don’t be surprised if your flair for fashion starts catching on.

-A.

What the hell did that mean? I pulled the clothing out of the bag and burst into laughter. It was a gray sweat suit … like the one I’d worn to his place when I was hoping he wouldn’t touch me. At the bottom of the bag were sneakers and a scrunchy.

I grabbed the clothes and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I didn’t bother with makeup or my hair. I dressed in my new designer swags and grabbed the scrunchy for my messy bun, a silly grin on my face the entire time. I felt a tinge of guilt for these small moments of happiness. Was it okay to smile or have my thoughts pulled from the sadness of my mother’s death to a lighter, happier place? Everyone grieves in their own way and maybe this was the way for me ... not to grieve at all. I didn’t want to mope around burying myself in all of the horrible things I was thinking yesterday. I wanted to honor her memory and I wanted to solidify a close relationship with Lia and Bianca. Mom would want that too; she wouldn’t want me to sink into a pit of despair and I didn’t want that either because who knew the depth of that pit. If I fell in, it was quite possible I would never emerge.  I wouldn’t go there. Instead, I’d try my best to be the person she’d want me to be. She’d said that I was strong and I was … not as strong as some may have thought and not as strong as I was even a few months ago. But I wanted that person back and she was going to come back. She may stumble a little but she was definitely coming back … sooner rather than later.

I emerged from the bathroom a few moments later to see Aiden walking into the bedroom … dressed exactly like me. I doubled over in laughter.

“You,” I accused, pointing at him.

“What?” he asked, innocently.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that right?” I asked. He was better for me than any pill could ever be.

We smiled at each other for a few quiet seconds.

“I need to check on Lia and Bianca,” I said, ending the awkwardness of the moment.

“They aren’t here,” he said, walking toward me.

“What? Where are they?” I asked, worried.

“I had Allison fly in this morning and she and April are out with them. I figured that someone as buoyant as Allison would be great for them right now.”

Actually Allison was the bolt of energy we all needed. He never ceased to amaze me. “Tell me again … how is it that you’re still single?” I asked, jokingly.

“Because the girl I want doesn’t want me,” he replied, seriously.

“Clearly that girl is insane,” I replied, hoping to lighten the weight of his words.

“I couldn’t agree more,” he replied.

“Either insane or afraid.” I said, pensively.

“This look works on you,” he said, ignoring my last statement.

“Are you kidding? I look hideous. This look doesn’t work for anyone,” I replied.

“I don’t know about
anyone
, but it works for you.”

“Whatever,” I said, waving him off.

“It got you fucked didn’t it?”

“I don’t even know how to respond to that,” I said, laughing.

“Are you hungry? Dianna’s prepared pretty much everything you can think of for breakfast.”

“You know. I think I am hungry,” I said. I wasn’t sure when I’d last eaten.

“Good, I’m glad you have an appetite. Shall we?” he asked, motioning toward the door.

“You know … I was wrong, this look is totally working for you. I could honestly have you for breakfast,” I said, following him.

“So back to the pineapple? Last I heard, you were allergic.”

“I can’t believe I said that to you,” I said, remembering that night. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

“Hell, I can. You have quite the smart mouth.”

I was happy that Mom had met him.

“Are you okay?” he asked, when I became quiet.

Would I ever really be okay? “Yes, just thinking about everything. It hurts Aiden. It hurts so much,” I said, as my eyes started to water.

“I know. I know,” he said, standing and walking around the kitchen counter to pull me into his arms.

“I think you should take an alprazolam with breakfast. What do you think?” Aiden asked, after the sobs subsided.

“Yeah, I think so. I was hoping I wouldn’t need one but I guess I do.”

“I’ll get it. I’ll be right back,” he said, releasing me from his embrace.

I wiped my face and watched him leave the kitchen. I didn’t want to feel like this. My self-pep talk this morning was apparently unsuccessful. Trying to skip some of the stages of grief wasn’t going to work; I had to face this; there was no shortcut. It would take time, I knew that but I simply didn’t want it to.

“Here you go,” Aiden said, passing the bottle to me.

“Thank you,” I said. “So tell me more about this crazy girl who doesn’t want you. Maybe I can talk to her for you … make her see the light.”

“Could you?” he asked, grinning.

“After all you’ve done for me, of course, I’ll speak to her for you,” I replied.

“I don’t know … she can be quite obstinate,” he said.

“Do you think she’s worth it? She’s probably a real bitch,” I said.

“Now that you mention it –” he started.

Dianna walked into the kitchen, her entrance halting our whacky conversation. “How are you feeling this morning Miss Cason?” she asked.

“As well as can be expected I suppose,” I replied. I could feel Aiden’s eyes on me. Was I that much of a mess? I looked up to see the worried look in his eyes. He smiled, attempting to cover his concern but I could see it. I didn’t want him looking at me like that. I looked down before the tears spilled over.

We finished breakfast and I took the medication, Aiden watching as I swallowed it.

“How about a game of chess?” he asked.

“What? What makes you think I play chess?”

“You were staring at the chess board on the jet last night. This morning I asked Lia if you could play and she said you were actually very good.”

I had only played chess with my father.

“Did I say something wrong?” he asked.

“No, I used to play with my dad,” I said.

“We don’t have to play.”

“No, it’s fine. I want to,” I said. It may be therapeutic.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes, Aiden I’m sure,” I snapped. “You don’t need to keep fussing over me and watching everything I do or say as if I’m going to lose it!”

I felt like shit as soon as the words escaped my lips. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m feeling. Everything is all jumbled up.”

He didn’t say anything. He simply looked at me. “I’m being a bitch … just like that girl you like, huh?”

“I plead the fifth,” he said, smiling.

“Are you ready for me to kick your ass at chess?” I asked.

“You can try,” he said, leading me to the study.

We played two games of chess; he was a formidable player, but I didn’t expect anything less. I won the first game and he won the second. We were about to start the third when a knock sounded from the door, followed by the entry of the four other house guests.  I laughed as I took them in; they were each dressed like Aiden and me.  I looked at Aiden. “What happened to your messy up-do?”

“Look at this,” he said, pointing at his hair. It was slightly disheveled but it looked hot, so that didn’t really count.

“We still don’t know why Aiden insisted we all dress alike,” Allison said.

“He thinks he’s funny. It’s more of an inside joke,” I said.

He was grinning mischievously as he watched me attempt an explanation. His phone rang and he sighed as he walked to his desk.

“Hi Allison,” I said, hugging her. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course, Aria and I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you. So what did you guys do this afternoon?” I asked.

“It’s Nicholas. I need to take care of this. Something’s gone wrong with the Japan deal.”  Aiden said.

We took that as our cue to leave. I followed Lia, Bianca, April and Allison. They were headed to the theater room to watch a movie. It was a comedy that I’d seen before but it was a pretty good movie so I grabbed some popcorn and joined them. Two movies later, Dianna announced that dinner was ready. Aiden was still behind closed doors. We sat down for dinner and started our salads. I was hoping Aiden would have been able to join us. I started to feel guilty again. He was making too many adjustments for me. I would check with the designer today to see how much longer we’d have to wait before going to the condo.

They filled me in on their day and it seemed Lia and Bianca had really connected with both Allison and April. Aiden walked in as we started the main course. He looked stressed. He rarely looked stress even when he should, so I wondered if our presence was complicating things for him. I wasn’t ready to leave.

I didn’t know what to expect when I went home. I knew we would all be uncomfortable for a while. I watched them chatter with Allison. I hadn’t had a chance to speak with them alone yet. I’d make sure I took some time to check on them tomorrow. I was also still in the dark in regards to what was bothering April.

Aiden took the seat across from Allison. He was quiet for the most part. I would imagine he was thinking of a way to juggle his schedule to allow him more time here with me. Allison later asked him to join us for a movie. His initial response was no. After some prodding, he finally agreed. I didn’t say anything but I wanted him with us too. His presence was quickly becoming necessary. He gave me a sense of calm, or maybe it was the medication. Either way, I was feeling less crazed … a little loopy but definitely less emotional.

*****

I’d drifted off before the movie ended. “Let’s get you bathed and in bed,” Aiden whispered. I looked around to see the others engrossed in the movie. He and I slipped out without their noticing.

We walked silently to the bedroom. He went directly to the bathroom and started a bath for me.  I stood in the doorway as I watched him. He was spoiling me. He started a soft relaxing playlist and walked over to me and started undressing me. I lifted my hands and he removed my top and as he looked into my eyes, he reached behind and unclasped my bra. His hands were then at my waist lowering my sweatpants and panties. I stepped out of them and walked over to the tub and stepped in. I sat down and lay back, forgetting … losing myself in the soft melodies of the room.

Hozier’s
Like Real People Do
was playing in the background. The lyrics took me to my Mom’s grave and then back to the person who rescued me.

He closed the door and walked out of the bathroom. A half hour or so later I stepped into the bedroom and Aiden was sitting in a chair near the terrace reviewing something in a folder that bore the Raine Industries logo. A tinge of guilt surfaced again as I thought about the sacrifices he was making for me. He looked up from the file.

“How was your bath?” he asked.

“It was nice. Thank you,” I replied, stifling a yawn.

He placed the folder on the table beside him and walked over to me. “Looks like it’s past someone’s bedtime.”

“I didn’t think I had a bedtime.”

“You do now,” he said. He grabbed my hand and walked me to the bed and tucked me in.

“I’ll let you rest,” he said. He kissed my forehead and turned to leave.

“Aiden.”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want you to go just yet. Can you hold me please?”

He didn’t reply, he simply walked back to the bed and climbed in beside me. He pulled me close and I lay my head on his contoured chest. I inhaled, taking in a concentrated dose of his unique scent. We lay in silence and my mind started to wonder. I thought about my being here and my sisters and, of course, my mom. I could feel the tears forming and I absolutely didn’t want to cry. I was so over crying. I wanted to forget the pain. I wanted to forget my tears. I touched the side of his face and gently motioned him towards me and softly kissed his lips. Our kiss quickly became one that involved quickened heartbeats and exploring hands. I reached inside his pants to stroke his manhood. I wanted him inside me. I wanted his skin on my skin. I wanted his touch to erase everything else … if only for a short while.